Incantation

Well written!

A very engrossing and emotionally engaging story. I felt a deep connection to Lonna who`s character was beautifuly portrayed. The dialogue is wonderful, keenly revealing the mindset of each character without over-explaining, and you captured the Arkansas vernacular with real authenticity. I loved the scene at the restaurant near Harvard where Lonna is about to tell Bobby about the pills, but holds back. The tension there is palpable, and I found myself anxiously beseeching Lonna not to tell him!

Where I felt the story could be stronger is in delving more deeply into the psychological and social ramifications of the genetically engineered and discriminatory future you envision. I was a bit disappointed in Bobby`s reaction to discovering the secret of the pills. I was expecting him to be devastated, or atleast I wanted to know why he reacted the way he did. It almost seemed non-chalant. Pehaps you could show the reader how Bobby`s perception of the importance of the pills in his life changed over the years. That would make his reaction more credible. Up to the point of revelation, I for one was still under the impression that Bobby`s whole sense of self-worth was based on the effects of the pills, so I was expecting him to be shattered by the news.

Also, I wonder why Bobby never questions having a genetically enhanced daughter. Did he learn nothing from his mother who lived life to the fullest without the pills or genetic enhancement? Was her life in vain if Bobby still believes that a biologically enhanced life is the only worthy one? I`d like to see Bobby atleast think about these issues even if he decides to go ahead with the genetic alteration.

This a wonderful, timely work of fiction which could become a great novel if the basic ideas and premise are elaborated upon.

Wow. I`m speechless. Incredible dialogue. Very creative premise. Very human