A Pakistani Teenager in Canada

Fascinating read, MHS.

Thanks for getting the guts to come out and contribute. Your viewpoint is enlightening and it would be great to hear from you time-to-time through teenagehood. We could all learn something (especially as parents).

From personal experience with trying to learn Urdu for the first time at age 14 (I did not know it prior to that), I know it is frustrating and almost impossible -- however, I think it`s worth it. Ask youself a question though -- why not learn the Hindi script as well? Although considered sacrilege by close-minded Pakistanis, it is incredibly useful and valuable. I only wish I had kept up my studies of this (which I started in college). Imagine being able to read and write the language of nearly 1 billion people.

Keep on contributing!

Oh, Canada our home and native land...true patriot love in all thy sons commands....with glowing hearts we thee rise...the true north strong and free...

I used to sing the Canadian national anthem right after ``God Save the Queen`` in high school. Never understood the connection. Afterall, Canada is just a suburb of the United States.

Nice article M.H.S. Give my regards to the Quebecois and tell those Frogs je souviens Canada with a nostalgia and tell those idiots to get a life and quit whining about an independent nation ! They never had it so good in like they do in Canada.

Wish you all the best young man. You are only two years in Canada, watch out for the kafirs, they have various ways of getting at you. Of course dont ever care to know anything about Taliban. They are worse than kafirs.

Dear MHS

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. When I was your age, more than three decades ago, I couldn`t even think straight let alone write as clearly as you do about your concerns. Its impressive.

Being a cultural transplant is hard. Especially when you are expected to live up to the ideals of a cultural heritage from a time and place which you have never experienced yourself. But you seem to be handling it in a very mature and balanced way. It will all work out eventually.

As for learning Urdu, if you don`t see the point, then DO NOT take the trouble. Other than relieving your parents` guilt (about this supposed `gap` in your learning) it serves no useful purpose. If you were to invest the same time in learning French you`d be better off. If you can speak Urdu then that is good enough, don`t feel bad. Remember, the overwhelming majority of people even in Pakistan cannot read or write Urdu. Don`t get me wrong, Urdu is a beautiful language, especially for poetry. But if that`s not your cup of tea, then that`s not what you should be forced to do.

As for the sex education and the natural feelings of sexual attraction, you should take them as they come. Sex education is far better than sexual ignornce. Don`t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

I`d give you exactly the same advice that I gave my sixteen year old daughter recently: There is nothing at all wrong with getting feeling of sexual attraction. It is as natural and healthy as the feelings of thirst, hunger or sleep, etc. What you need to be aware of is that there are natural consequences of all your actions. (For example, if you feel hunger, you don`t just go for anything that you can eat. You might get poisioned that way.) Therefore, before translating any feelings into actions you must be fully conscious and informed, so that you don`t suffer any physical or psychological harm.

Being a ``Nimazi`` is not something to be ashamed of. But, by the same token, its not something to be proud of either. You have to be honest to your true feelings about it. If Nimaz gives you satisfaction then you should do it and not worry about what your porn-magazine reading buddies say to you. If on the other hand, Nimaz does not do anything for you and your heart is not in it, then you shouldn`t force it upon yourself in order to please anyone else, be it the maulvi sahib, your parents, or any unseen force in the sky.

You are very right when you say that we must not forget who we are: We are all human beings.

Take care,

sincerely,

Sohail Rabbani

interesting reading. thank you for giving us an insight into the life of ``a pakistani teenager in canada.``

i`d like to add to Jays warning about watching out for the kafirs.remember..it doesn`t matter if we can beat our women and get away with it while they can press charges..it doesn`t matter if a pakistani woman has to have 4 male witnesses to penetration before any hope of winning a rape case while they can press charges AND hope for a conviction based on a medical report..it doesn`t matter if we have a blashphemy law that is about as effective as a used tampon while they have legislature that ensures an aggrieved party can air his views without getting shot down in the street outside the courthouse..

watch out for the kafirs `k

(check under the bed for the bogeyman while you`re at it too)

shandana

You are the hyphen that is going to be our next generation. it somewhat relieves the mind to know that all 14 year olds are NOT punks with nothing better then a good time on their minds ( i know 28 year olds who still think like 14 year olds). I am 20 and i have grown up partially in pakistan. i consider myself very lucky for the move that my parents made. they had felt that it was of utmost importance that my sisters and i get to know the culture and tradition that we are from. they picked up their very successful lives and we spent 7 years in pakistan. it wasnt an easy move on anyone but it defeintly paid off in the long run for me. i truly feel like a bi-cultural hyphenated person. i see friends around me struggling to pick up urdu or to speak it with aunties, uncles and cousins in pakistan. i am always impressed by these efforts and i commend parents who are able to instill the love of language in their child. i wonder how sucesfull my parents would have been in that regard if it hadn`t been for our move to karachi. the sensousness of the urdu language, the poetry, the ghazals and geets are all with me, but they very well might not have been. i lucked out. it is intersteing to note how much knowing the language can endear you to the culture. one can pick up so much in just the literary prespective about a culture. i have a background in languages and have been surprised how when in italy, people assumed i was from spain based on the way i communicated with them...yes the italian was speaking was tainted by classroom learned spanish but there wer specific words and gestures picked up by my spanish teacher that led the people to belive that i was Spanish.

ive gone off on a tangent but it is all related ;)

thanks for sharing this perspective with us, and i know the feeling one gets from seeing ``smart people`` interact for the first time. happened my second semester at college...i was psyched to see that there were more people like me and not morons who asked questions like...`uhh are we actully supposed to read that book??`

Good luck :)

z. rizvi.

Good luck and keep writing. it was lovely reading you. I think you must be amazingly bright. I don`t think at your age I was remotely as aware as you. incidentally I am double your age and still battling with the same questions. Life? Right? Wrong? I? The only difference is that now I know (or think I know) that it is okay to ask the reason why.

Please keep on asking your questions. It is the bravest thing to do. Don`t forget to send us a note about your discoveries:)

Re : MHS and SR

What can i say ? A beautiful reply ( almost avuncular, I`d say ) to a wonderfully innocent piece of writing......

good questions M.H.S. and as others have been saying, there are no answers apart from the ones you will find -and like- yourself.

it is good to ask people about their opinions, but the answers should be treated as opinions only, not some ``siraat-i-mustaqeem`` [errr... i guess that can be translated literally as straight line, and means the correct way of life... probably. don`t believe me though] that you have to follow. you seem to have a good grasp on yourself. don`t lose that.

i think one of the main reason for the confusion of the young, transplanted generation is the guilt ridden confusion of their parents. the parents have moved in search of a better life, which they usually find. but then they yearn for the life at home, forgetting that for their kids, home is where they are... it is the parents who put the

``C`` in the ABCD.

i think the main ingredients of good human values would be the same in any culture, though there are differences in the amount of the ingredients. for me, the main ingredients for me are:

* 3 cups honesty

* 1.25 cup love

* 3 tbsp joy

* .25 tsp randomness

* 1.5 tsp social skills

this gives me a nice loaf of me, to be enjoyed by myself mainly...

to my dismay, i realised that for a lot of people i came in contact with, the first and last ingredient of my recipe were interchanged. pah!

where the heck was i? oh yeah... sorry... so, as i was about to say in conclusion, try and define your own self, and then stay true to yourself. the self will evolve with time, and so will the values, just go where they take you.

MHS:

The fact of the matter is,we may be in America or Canada but Pakistan will always be our identity. There are some unfortunate Pakistani`s who get dazzled by all the wrong things that the western culture has to offer and in this process forget all the great things that are offered by their own heritage, but do they ever get identified as Americans? NO!! they will always be Pakistani`s and that`s a fact that none of us should forget. Pakistan`s respect and honor will always raise our respect and vice versa so we should be proud and thank Allah that we have our own country and identity. Freedom is not something that should ever be taken for granted and those who do often loose it for years to come

PAKISTAN ZINDABAD!

NAJAM MAHMUD

KARACHI

Simpson

One does not have to live in a country to get a taste of what happens there. I can build a fairly accurate picture of life in Pakistan by speaking to others who have been there, reading literature and watching television.

Many of us have never been to Pakistan nor ever intend to that does not make us lesser Pakistanis. To return to a country where so many are living a wretched existence desperate to escape is sheer stupidity.

Shan

Our standard of living together with our status here in the West is far better than what it would be had our parents stayed there. I for one would not have been able to afford a University education nor would I be earning anything like the income I have to name just two things. Perhaps Pakistanis from afluent families feel they’ve lost their status here in the West but don’t include me in your generalisation.

Farouq Taj.

Little brother - One advice - Lose the moustache. Take care.

Azam Khan

hey

you should read my article on fun-da-mental its called fundamentalists.

ciao

Good article!!! One thing though!!

If you are from rawalpind your mother tongue is not Urdu but Punjabi or more apt Pothohari!!

Thanks

Sandeep Singh Bajwa

sbajwa@fyi.net

I have a son of your age. If your mom tells you any thing it is for your good YOU already understand !

This is undoubtedly a very good web site.

The cultural duality of Pakistani people is basically due to negation of reality. They even negate the world where they live, thrive and make money -----by any means. Wrong interpretation of religeon and glorifying nothingness has brought us to a point where very soon Pakistan will be starved of all free thinking and people of intellect. It will be a country of illiterate, corrupt minded anti education people.Nobody can now save Pakistan from the evident----.