The Unedited Fairy Tale of Safina and Zordar

Hey, BG,

you seem like a really interesting person--as do so many other Chowkwallahs. I`d really like to get to know some of you guys better. No, no, don`t worry, I`m not some guy falling in love with the reflection of you in your clever words; I`m a woman (gosh, that sounds so ammah-ish. i`d rather be a larhki for ever after...)--early 30s, married, 2 young kids. I`ve been in the US for the past 13 years, but finding interesting Pakistanis to befriend has been a real challenge.

I wrote a reply a few days ago to your ``the good, the bad, and the anxiety`` piece. Anyway, here`s my email address, in case you want to get in touch: annogul@hotmail.com

Good luck in your writing endeavors...

Are you trying to say that this is the fate of all PAkistani women??????????/

Re: SR, Reply 47

Touche!

My God(s)!! I am surely lagging behind. Little did I know that my `personal crap` would generate a side exchange.

Godotjee,

your point is taken, but you know some of us `backbenchers` at the Chowk have a bad habbit of getting into such side-lines. I admit being one of those who roams around the Chowk, hands in pocket, whistling to myself and aimlessly jaywalking regardless of the traffic. Perhaps I am one of those who are used to the chowk being a more pedestrian friendly, slow paced intersection. We have to hurry up and get used to the gush of new traffic and wait for the traffic lights to turn and then too only walk along zebra crossings. Please don`t get mad because you had to slam on the breaks of your Corvette because an old country bumpkin was jaywalking. :)

My thanks to other fellow pedestrians (SS, BG et al.) for defending the First Ammendment.

...SR

re godot

godot, i am actually the one to blame for the tangent, so you should direct your objections to me not to SR.

also, as part of a chowk community, i feel that some special events like a birth in SR`s family are important enough for a digression from the topic. you may, of course, disagree. this is just my two pence.

regards

Godot, yaar, please cut SR some slack. Firstly, as a father, I really enjoyed what Sohail had to say. Secondly, his desire for personal communication with Bad Girl is obviously hamstrung by her forced anonymity. I mean, can you think of any other way to exchange personal notes with her that doesn`t involve mass advertising or sky-writing ?

saad

Re; SR

Congratulations on the baby!!. I hope you enjoy him thoroughly.

Re; Godot

Sorry Godot. But at Chowk `the issue` is usually a debatable one:) thanks for the pointer though.

Re: SR, Reply 42

Hey, man, who cares! I hope your child grows-up to become US president! This is not a forum for personal crap! Please, stick to the issue at hand.

BG

Thank you for asking. He is not quite two weeks old yet and is doing great. We`ve already bonded big time. His mother is also recovering wonderfully. I am overtaken with joy. He is constantly in my arms (when he is not with his mother). It is vastly different to become a parent in the forties than it is in the twenties. I`ve had both experiences. (I cannot say about the thirties, because that is when I was catching up on my missed out teens.) This time, I have the luxuary to be both a dady and a grandfather to this child. The first time I was hardly ever there because I was too busy trying to ``survive`` (a gaping void lives inside me for having missed out on so much with my first child who is now 16 and lives with her mother). This time it is different. All that I`ve learnt through woe and error should guide me through the narrow straights of parenthood.

Unfortunately, the wheel of time cannot be turned back. If it could, we`d all be saints.

...SR

Hi, SR!

good to hear from you. congratulations on the birth of your baby. hope everyone is doing well, along with the bundle of joy and sunshine ;-)

BG:

Regardless of the presence or absence of any `hidden` moral of the story, I enjoyed the read. For one thing, it`s a welcome reprieve from the contentious issues of religion and politics. You caricaturize a social arrangement we see all too often. It seems that you only painted a two-dimensional monochromatic picture - a function of spending a mere twenty minutes, no doubt - without necessarily any hidden social or moral agenda other than a tongue-in-cheek depiction of the marriage scene in the bourgeoisie. I don`t understand what some readers have made all the fuss about. I would, however, like to add that when we sees an article with your name attached to it, expectations are at once raised because you`ve already set a standard (`Good girls, bad posture`, `Auntie Valyat`, and other `issue oriented` essays). Perhaps, readers are not accustomed to BG writing something for the frivolous joy of doing so.

My life has much else going on these days (such as the joyous re-discovery of sleepless nights amid `pee and poop`) so I have not been visiting the Chowk at all. Thus today when I logged on, I got the benefit of reading your article along with the entire commentary and clarifications etc. I hope I can make more time in coming weeks and months.

…SR

re godot
well, so the story goes...

re anwar
glad you enjoyed the story.

RE: Shandana

Hmm… you are too sensitive. Thand rakho ji!

RE: BG

ChaliN bakwas kar laitay haiN. Apnay baray maiN arz kita ay:

Teri furqaniat pay yeh haijan

Goya rakhsay ki tan hai pyaray

Ankh teri ankh aur kan hai kan

Aur naak teri naak hai pyaray

Ab zyada bachiaN mat taar ay Paisal

Kyon kay too musalman hai pyaray?

(With gratitude to Shafiq-ur Rehman and Khuram Agha)

Cheers,

Faisal

Re: Bad Girl`s ``... naa-na-na-naa-naa.``

Very mature. I am reminded of the preschoolers in my daughter`s class. They also spend about 20 minutes composing a story and often manage to produce something as zordar as this one, :-).

Cheers,
saad

BG,

One of the best pieces of humor I`ve read in a long time. I especially liked the way you bring both the worlds of desis and West together in a spicy formula :)

Pretty good for a 20 min effort. Keep up the good work!

Anwar

p.s. some of us desis don`t know anything else to say but criticize, don`t you believe them for a minute!

re: faisal

critical theory
vritical theory
why dont you write us
an interesting story?
(sung to the tune of naa-na-na-naa-naa)

regards :-)

re: `critic`
if people watch fewer sitcoms, do they stop referring to themselves in the third person in quotes?

re: shandana
`` i don`t even know who Maurice Blanchot is``

well, dont you know shandana, he is only the...er..the most...well, the best...you know...the definitive...must read variety of...er..er..I DONT KNOW EITHER!! (tobah, tobah, such ignorance and jahalat on a public chowk.)

can i get my dunce cap via email?

regards ;-)

re faisal:
no i`m afraid i dont know an awful lot about Critical Theory. Which corner would you suggest i go and stand in? i don`t even know who Maurice Blanchot is, where do you suggest i get my dunce cap?

re shahbaz:
*mumble grumble *

shandana (now seen the error of my ways will report back after attending the 45 creative writing workshops i`ve motivated by my ignorance into signing up for) minhas

Bravo!

I am now expecting a depressing sequel from you as to what happened to this country of the badshah after Safina and Zordar were done raping and looting it. Or they are not finished yet? Replaced by another prince made in Zordar s shadow? Well, maybe that s another fairy tale!

RE: Shandana

``…was the fact that he refers to other writers.then it stops being criticism and starts being patronising.`` You don`t know much about Critical Theory do you? My suggestion- read Maurice Blanchot. I was trying to compare styles of the same nuance.

Koi baat nahiN. Lets both chill. Single Malt, 12 year old ?

Cheers,

Faisal

Re: Shabaz

You know me. Oay, who art thou? I am thinking tin-tin. Still in Chicago? And read more boy, you’ve got a long way to go.

Regards,

Paisley

PS: re saima

``Do I detect a deep doubt here? About the success of feminism?``

no. this story was not about the noble or the honest, so neeli didnt have much to do with it. maybe a longer story, maybe another story?

saima!! welcome back. good to `see` you!

you said:
``Fairytales represent the unconscious desires of a populace. They can be startlingly close to the truth. After all Power and Sex are fundamental driving needs. I am not justifying the couple here,after all civilization seeks to train us otherwise, but aren`t at heart our leaders just power hungry demons in spite of civic and civil society. A recent burning example is Clinton`s.``

okay, here`s my beef with fairy tales: they glamourize hierarchy, wealth, power and beauty, glossing over details of exploitation and violence. if a fairy tale is about a `poor` person, then invariably its a ``rags to riches`` story. as if the only thing that makes a story is wealth, power or beauty. what about the challenge of living every day, loving every day? dont our mundane struggles deserve some kind of acknowledgement? for me the story starts when it ends. i want to know how ``they lived happily ever after``. that is the true challenge (though that was not reflected in this story)

``Should fairy tales change to change us? If so, let all writers write our dreams down. One-day they may happen.``

yes!!

Second, did you have the Royal Couple (b and z) in mind?

not when i started, but then they sort of popped in there.

re aliya
phew! i thought i was just being paranoid :-)

you are right, i think the editors have made a very deliberate effort to make this a truly free space and we are all responsible for keeping it that way. i personally find patronizing, judgemental comments not constructive at all. if one disagrees with what i am trying to say like saima or syed ahmed, then there is a basis for dialogue.

re syed ahmed
this was not a strictly ``feminist`` venting. but, since you have taken it there: saima speaks for me, when she responds to you, so i wont repeat anything.

My two paisas:
I believe that chowk’s best feature has been it’s openness. If an article doesn’t meet some one’s criteria of what constitutes good art, then a gentle critique is quite enlightening, a frontal assault on the other hand, is not.
As someone with admittedly inferior writing skills than BG’s, I kind of enjoy the ability to share my thoughts with the people in chowk, and have appreciated their tactful critique. Should I now get the armor before submitting anything? I hope not.

Re: Saima

Finally the bob sank. I was worried for a while.

``I was filled with a startled sense of `my God, do `men` still think like this? Will `they` always think like this? Can`t we just be people?``

Yes they do Saima, while securing their cumer-bunds in the after-math of the Zordarish trysts.

I think Saima, you overreacted a wee bit. Sort of like an independent liberated women screech, - Men are lechers, women are so repressed, - perhaps true in the Pind in Pakistan but not true anywhere else. Poor Zordar - being described as a cavorting casanova- while trying to do his duty by his wife and country. And all those ``shartain`` - shaadi se pahlay aur shaadi ke baad. Will his misery never end. Just imagine having to maintain
domestic tranquility while keeping his hormones
in check, - while at the same time dealing with rabid feminists. Geez life is getting more difficult, expectations unresolved - if only he had gone abroad and married a ``mem`` ( atleast he knew what he was getting into) , gotten a green card, worked in the local 7-11 while fulfilling the American dream. If only zordar had listened to abbuji and studied for his FSc.

BG:

It started out well but then...oh, well!

Me thinks it missed the target. Not that I did not enjoy parts of it. But I`ll be honest, with a little bit of extra 10 minutes, it could`ve been a good piece.

Re: ``Liberated Women``

Now THAT is....how should I say it...abuse of terminology...no its more like feelings of insecurity at work.

Educated and sophisticated women who are aware of themselves, their sorroundings and their rights and responsibilities are a blessing. And its their absence, not presence, that breeds poverty, ignorance and intolerance in societies.

BG:

Thank you for a grin that kept getting wider and wider till I burst out laughing. There is an awful sense of likeness to The Royal Couple of Pakistan. The wicked sense of humor hit hard.

I have a few questions, cynical ones. Perhaps my own disillusionment`s get in the way:

Are you saying that fairytales are a form of exploitation? Of people`s imagination and brain? If so, I disagree. Fairytales represent the unconscious desires of a populace. They can be startlingly close to the truth. After all Power and Sex are fundamental driving needs. I am not justifying the couple here, after all civilization seeks to train us otherwise, but aren`t at heart our leaders just power hungry demons in spite of civic and civil society. A recent burning example is Clinton`s.

Should fairy tales change to change us? If so, let all writers write our dreams down. One-day they may happen.

Second, did you have the Royal Couple (b and z) in mind?

Third, in spite of the couple`s lack of originality in their desires; they were startlingly sincere. They went after the basic things. Poor Neeli just stood by and watched and won nothing. Neeli`s nobility (maybe a certain hypocrisy) got her nowhere at all. Good taste does not change human nature? The fairy-tale kept on writing without the different girl. Poor loser.

Do I detect a deep doubt here? About the success of feminism?

Re: Syed Ahmed

I was filled with a startled sense of `my God, do `men` still think like this? Will `they` always think like this? Can`t we just be people?``

To quote the nitty that got me going
,
``Of course she could have gone abroad,
frolicked with numerous suitors( or
lovers), come back home, assumed the regency
from abbuji, - and become the amazon version of
Zordar ( ahem the modern liberated women type)
- and then pretend to conform to the very image
that she rejected``.

Do you think that a woman who has had several men interested in her necessarily shallow?

In your mind does `liberated woman` imply a woman with male values and therefore someone trying to emulate men? Sort of a pretender man? That is pretty far from the truth. Liberated women are responsible people who desire to have a valid and accepted point of view rather than conform to the stifling expectations of a stereotype. There are various shades of gray here but what the liberation movement seeks to do is to empower women to take decisions about things that affect them. This means;

-the right to choose what clothes to wear/other decisions regarding appearance.
-the right to choose a life-partner.
-the right to decide whether or not she wants to have a baby.
-the right to choose an education/job.
-the right to end a relationship without prejudice to her status in society.
-the right to have equal food and medical facilities with men.
-the right to realize her potential as an individual. Happens one hopes when the above do.

The words you use are emotive, `frolicked (implying promiscuity)` `amazon` implying unfeminine-inhuman-unwomanly`. Are women with minds and a capacity for discerning independent judgement impossible to accept?

Why are women who go `abroad` liberated women? There are plenty women `here`, with dreadfully independent minds. It is a separate issue that men may not realize who walks beside him. Most men may be so busy slotting a woman away in types/are so involved with ogling that they fail to understand her.

Well; all that did get me going!

regards

saima

Sometimes you want to read an article second time. You know, just to ensure that you did not miss anything important. In the end `Critic` decided to skip the second reading of this article. However the first impression had made standing. This article is majestically, imperially and splendidly vacuous. `Critic` would not have aired his thoughts but the surprising praise you garnered and your twenty-minute claim! Madam we may be stupid but we are not retarded. Next time please spent more time and energy. As for your sense of humor I suggest you stop watching sitcoms.

Needless to say, Zordar sounds very much like the sophisticated, sensitive and sensible, mature and debonair desi male that all desi girls crave for.
Between looks, power and status, - all the whims
need be satisfied.


As for Zordar, - he got the girl, power, wealth,
cosmetic looks & a gullible wife ( Lucky SOB) -
if only the kids could be part of the dowry, then
he wouldnt` have to work at anything.


As for safina, - stupid is, as stupid does, maturity and sensibility were never her high priorities. Of course she could have gone
abroad, frolicked with numerous suitors( or
lovers), come back home, assumed the regency
from abbuji, - and become the amazon version of
Zordar ( ahem the modern liberated women type)
- and then pretend to conform to the very image
that she rejected.

Of course you convieniently forgot zordar`s amma and abbu, - and their numerous ensuing power-plays that would surely have made interesting reading.
What! a desi marriage without domestic intrigue ?

NOw if only all desi girls were as happy on rass-malai and filums.... ( wishful thinking ).

Signed Looking For safina. :-)

re saad:

i did not mean to suggest (by any stretch of the imagination) that criticism was bad..or even unwelcome. what bothered me about faisals comments was the fact that he refers to other writers.then it stops being criticism and starts being patronising.

re faisal:

i`m trying to take your advice and chill out but am obviously failing miserably :)

shandana

Shandana,

The fun of writing is not - and should not be - predicated on the approval of others. I can understand Bad Girl justifying her efforts (wrote it in 20 minutes, etc.), but I think rather that dissent and critique drive the intellect upward and should be welcomed. If we only wrote what was uniformly liked, we would just be pandering. This probably sounds incorrigibly idealistic but I really feel that, like Ayn Rand`s Peter Keating in `The Fountainhead`, a life in search of applause is the very essence of mediocrity.

saad

hi, anita

this is just a story i dashed off in 20 minutes. and, can get some chuckles out of the reader (as some of the readers have attested). that, at least, is good enough for me.

for the reader who wants to know more: its a response to society`s preoccupation with ``fairy tales`` whether they are stories children are told, or movies hollywood produces. two dimensional, card board characters in fairy tales are much more gruesome and mundane (at the same time) in real life.

for the reader who wants even more: may i suggest you read something else.

This is a rather pediastrian effort, BG.

I grappled unsucessfully with the subtext here. Is this burlesque account of the loveless marriage of Safina and Zordar merely meant to evoke our derision, or is there a larger truth being conveyed?

Anita

re shandana and wasiq

thanks, ya`ll. glad you enjoyed it.


re mohammad faisal

i dont know any of the literary references you are talking about. i write what i feel like, without going into an academic study of what`s been done, etc., etc.

RE: BG

Excuse my enthusiasm, I should have refrained from exclamations.

Since Rashid and Mantos` `Halqa-e-arabab-e-zoq.` most Pakistani writers have been contained within a certain frame and style of writing. I see Chowk developing a new genre against a somewhat stagnant literary environment in Pakistan. And needless to say it is very exciting to see such talent- Dr Zaidi, Shandana, Wasiq, SR and you- involved on one forum. So, I just throw in my two pennies of critical worth at times. Do not take it personally.

Regards,

Faisal

re mohammed faisal:

you`re taking the fun out of writing. why must everything be new and horribly creative? and why must you compare it to so & so`s work? a good piece of writing is a good piece of writing, regardless of whatever intellectual purity test it might have failed in your eyes.

shandana

RE: Shandana

Chill man! Don`t get defensive. We have different notions about writing as an art and I think the discourse within is quite healthy. No, I do not believe that a good piece of writing has to be horribly creative- there are other adjunctive also. Old-stories-retold is a nuance that has entertained the best artists. Even in contemporary designs of fiction it has its special place. Recently, I read Romesh Gunesekera s latest novel ``Sandglass.`` You might want to read that to see what I am talking about.

And if I am taking the fun out of writing, you are taking- or at least trying to take- the fun out of reading.

Mera diya jalaye kon

MaiN tera khali kamra hoN - Nasir Kazmi

Regards,

Faisal

This is absolutely horrible- mediocrity, mediocrity, mediocrity! I wonder whatever happened to the BG of a year back.

`Purani kahaniyoN kay naye moajid ?` You might want to look into the stories of Ibn-e Insha (urdu ki akhri kitab) before experimenting with `Hikayat-` you do know what that is, right?

Our discontent with modernity is quite absurd and unfortunately not as elementary as your outlook.

Most enjoyable were Saad’s comments.

Regards,

Faisal

Very enjoyable and impressive. Loved it despite knowing where it was going, that`s a compliment to your skill BG. Mixed with the babble of the politically correct era, and told in a manner befitting a cross between Marquez and a generic news anchor, it was a story of life.

wickedly funny and impressively well written. wowzers! bb and asif must be turning over in their four poster beds.

shadana

Very cute, Sheikh Chilli.

But ... what are you really trying to say, if anything ?

saad

thanks for the enjoying the stories -- rishi, temporal, aliya and shahbaz.

temporal, as if i could write a 1000 more that`s too much pressure -- though i cant deny it sounds like a good idea!! why dont we do a 1001 chowktales? a truly collective effort? (i`m really into collectivism nowadays)

shahbaz, get the serious stuff out there and the funny stuff will come. why dont you submit something?

this fairy tale wasnt JUST meant to be funny. is the serious stuff just not worth talking about?

My god BG...YOU rock!

i didnt stop laffing ONCE and have sorely needed this after my awful week.

i loved this loved it loved it. cant say enuff.

thank you :)

z.rizvi.

ps. talk about dealing with many issues that people take for granted and turn into thse lovely fairy tales.

what a way you have with satire and words.

Loved it.

BG:

A dull week ends on a high note. Chuckled a lot. Thanks for this effort.

Do a thousand more stories and you will have 1001 American Nights.

regards

Gifted.

Loved the descriptives.

-

rishi