The Marriage Trap
Bina Shah January 22, 1999
#26 Posted by Content on January 27, 1999 6:13:51 pm
I couldn`t agree with you more! It`s pure hell being an unmarried Pakistani girl and the saddest part is that it is the women that make our lives hell rather than the men! They definitely make you feel as if you are subhuman, somehow maybe even incomplete or deformed - I think I can now sympathize with the outcastes of society.
Unfortunately as much as I love my Indo/Pak culture and my people (the good-hearted ones that is) I have gotten to a point now where I have just decided to boycott them because of this reason and this reason alone - I am absolutely sick and tired of answering the same question over and over again - I`m seriously thinking of sticking a sign to my forehead - `NOT MARRIED - WILL SIT IN MY ASSIGNED CORNER - PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY FACE`. Of course that would be harder to do in Pakistan, but here in the US it`s a little easier! Too bad there aren`t any Civil Rights lawyers specializing in `Marriage Harrassment` - boy have I got a case.
The truth is that girls of our generation with progressive parents are caught between two worlds. We are encouraged to get an Ivy League education and have successful careers and yet we are expected to still abide by our traditions and morals of then settling down and marrying a `dhanka musulman bacha`- well my dear the truth is that is an extinct race!
So what do we do in the meantime - go on with life and continue to be amused by these Pakistani women`s petty talk - to be honest these people have been very crucial in further developing my sense of humor - perhaps I should even be grateful to them!
Unfortunately as much as I love my Indo/Pak culture and my people (the good-hearted ones that is) I have gotten to a point now where I have just decided to boycott them because of this reason and this reason alone - I am absolutely sick and tired of answering the same question over and over again - I`m seriously thinking of sticking a sign to my forehead - `NOT MARRIED - WILL SIT IN MY ASSIGNED CORNER - PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY FACE`. Of course that would be harder to do in Pakistan, but here in the US it`s a little easier! Too bad there aren`t any Civil Rights lawyers specializing in `Marriage Harrassment` - boy have I got a case.
The truth is that girls of our generation with progressive parents are caught between two worlds. We are encouraged to get an Ivy League education and have successful careers and yet we are expected to still abide by our traditions and morals of then settling down and marrying a `dhanka musulman bacha`- well my dear the truth is that is an extinct race!
So what do we do in the meantime - go on with life and continue to be amused by these Pakistani women`s petty talk - to be honest these people have been very crucial in further developing my sense of humor - perhaps I should even be grateful to them!
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#25 Posted by ferozk on January 27, 1999 3:48:27 pm
Re: Unforgiven post #21
Like the latin legal maxims; it is mens rea and not actus rea. It is not the intent(guilty mind), but the act(guilty act) which makes you a hypocrite.
As to Heavan or Hell, I thought that was a personal choice; free agency and all that. If I follow everyone to Heavan, since that is the prefered majority opinion, I would, in my opinion, be caving in to peer pressure and I always resist peer pressure, because an egotistical part of me likes to stand out and be noticed!
Like the latin legal maxims; it is mens rea and not actus rea. It is not the intent(guilty mind), but the act(guilty act) which makes you a hypocrite.
As to Heavan or Hell, I thought that was a personal choice; free agency and all that. If I follow everyone to Heavan, since that is the prefered majority opinion, I would, in my opinion, be caving in to peer pressure and I always resist peer pressure, because an egotistical part of me likes to stand out and be noticed!
#24 Posted by Jack Handy on January 26, 1999 5:11:12 pm
`` It`s important not to settle for less than someone who respects you,is sincere,has a responsible outlook on life,is loyal and honest. Other qualities such as looks,and wealth can come and go, but those I mentioned above are what help a marriage last through the good times and
the bad times.``
What u say is true Ms Zaidi- but there is a big dichotomy in desi talk and desi action. Invariably men in our culture ( or their mothers) always go after looks, looks and looks, - Similarly amongst women - the appeal has more to do with monetary allure and status in terms of certain proffessional stereotypes.
Regardless of the rhetoric - A girl and her family crave for stability and a boys family for good genes, - of course add the superficiality of the ABCD culture and you get a third dimension.
That my dear is the reason for disillussionment and despair......
the bad times.``
What u say is true Ms Zaidi- but there is a big dichotomy in desi talk and desi action. Invariably men in our culture ( or their mothers) always go after looks, looks and looks, - Similarly amongst women - the appeal has more to do with monetary allure and status in terms of certain proffessional stereotypes.
Regardless of the rhetoric - A girl and her family crave for stability and a boys family for good genes, - of course add the superficiality of the ABCD culture and you get a third dimension.
That my dear is the reason for disillussionment and despair......
#23 Posted by Baig on January 26, 1999 5:11:12 pm
Ms. Bina,
I hope it would not be too rude to point out that your view of the whole picture is as misconceived as is your melodramatic narration of American Scuds raining down on Iraqi cities. The fact is that Americans have not developed scuds yet. It was Iraq delploying those scuds...Sorry to point that out Ms. intelligent, accomplished, fun, and adorable. May be it is not the look or the scent - it is that you actually say these things and that makes men crumble. Try a bit modesty in the future.
P.S.: I do like reading your articles. I think you are a very confident person who loves her life. You simply enjoy potraying yourself as a victim and going on a sympathy trip - probably to see what others reactions are and to laugh at them. Am I being presumptuous?
I hope it would not be too rude to point out that your view of the whole picture is as misconceived as is your melodramatic narration of American Scuds raining down on Iraqi cities. The fact is that Americans have not developed scuds yet. It was Iraq delploying those scuds...Sorry to point that out Ms. intelligent, accomplished, fun, and adorable. May be it is not the look or the scent - it is that you actually say these things and that makes men crumble. Try a bit modesty in the future.
P.S.: I do like reading your articles. I think you are a very confident person who loves her life. You simply enjoy potraying yourself as a victim and going on a sympathy trip - probably to see what others reactions are and to laugh at them. Am I being presumptuous?
#22 Posted by Jack Handy on January 26, 1999 5:11:12 pm
`` It`s important not to settle for less than someone who respects you,is sincere,has a responsible outlook on life,is loyal and honest. Other qualities such as looks,and wealth can come and go, but those I mentioned above are what help a marriage last through the good times and
the bad times.``
What u say is true Ms Zaidi- but there is a big dichotomy in desi talk and desi action. Invariably men in our culture ( or their mothers) always go after looks, looks and looks, - Similarly amongst women - the appeal has more to do with monetary allure and status in terms of certain proffessional stereotypes.
Regardless of the rhetoric - A girl and her family crave for stability and a boys family for good genes, - of course add the superficiality of the ABCD culture and you get a third dimension.
That my dear is the reason for disillussionment and despair......
the bad times.``
What u say is true Ms Zaidi- but there is a big dichotomy in desi talk and desi action. Invariably men in our culture ( or their mothers) always go after looks, looks and looks, - Similarly amongst women - the appeal has more to do with monetary allure and status in terms of certain proffessional stereotypes.
Regardless of the rhetoric - A girl and her family crave for stability and a boys family for good genes, - of course add the superficiality of the ABCD culture and you get a third dimension.
That my dear is the reason for disillussionment and despair......
#21 Posted by fozia on January 25, 1999 8:33:55 pm
Re:Jack Handy
``I totally disagree with this one. Just be yourself, many girls try to mask their insecurities by coming across as over-confident ``
There is a distinct difference in being comfortable with who you are - which is what I meant when I mentioned being confident and relaxed, and being over-confident - this is also known as having ``Attitude`` and being fake. I totally disagree with putting on airs and trying to come across like God`s gift to this world.
Fact of the matter is, there are women out there, who are intelligent, humourous, and ``nice`` that are filled with insecurities on the reason why they are still single. These can range from:
``I`m not pretty enough``
``I`m not educated enough``
``I`m too educated``
``All the nice guys are married``
etc, etc.
Because of these insecurities, these women are not acting like themselves. And hence they may not get noticed.
re:Sadaf
In my experience, the majority of marriages are good with the spouses quite happy. There are always horror stories in every family, but we really do have to keep the faith and not be disillusioned by the bad news. It`s important not to settle for less than someone who respects you,is sincere,has a responsible outlook on life,is loyal and honest. Other qualities such as looks,and wealth can come and go, but those I mentioned above are what help a marriage last through the good times and the bad times.
Regards,
Fozia Zaidi
``I totally disagree with this one. Just be yourself, many girls try to mask their insecurities by coming across as over-confident ``
There is a distinct difference in being comfortable with who you are - which is what I meant when I mentioned being confident and relaxed, and being over-confident - this is also known as having ``Attitude`` and being fake. I totally disagree with putting on airs and trying to come across like God`s gift to this world.
Fact of the matter is, there are women out there, who are intelligent, humourous, and ``nice`` that are filled with insecurities on the reason why they are still single. These can range from:
``I`m not pretty enough``
``I`m not educated enough``
``I`m too educated``
``All the nice guys are married``
etc, etc.
Because of these insecurities, these women are not acting like themselves. And hence they may not get noticed.
re:Sadaf
In my experience, the majority of marriages are good with the spouses quite happy. There are always horror stories in every family, but we really do have to keep the faith and not be disillusioned by the bad news. It`s important not to settle for less than someone who respects you,is sincere,has a responsible outlook on life,is loyal and honest. Other qualities such as looks,and wealth can come and go, but those I mentioned above are what help a marriage last through the good times and the bad times.
Regards,
Fozia Zaidi
#20 Posted by ferozk on January 25, 1999 4:36:17 pm
Re: Unforgiven post # 10
Hey you know the old story....have your fun with democratic girls and then marry a nice republican girl with money! Before I marry a nice girl, I am going to have some serious fun. I think that I have broken all the commandments except for ``thou shalt not kill``. Though, I have bended that particular one on a couple of occassions. When it comes to this sphere, I am self confessed hypocrite. So do as I say, but please don`t do what I do! A pair of beer goggles and a dark room and sex is just sex.
Lets just say, if the walls of my fraternity house could speak, I would have been stoned to death a long time ago! I have reservations in Hell and that is where I am going. Heavan is boring with all those vertically challenged little naked blad men playing harp and who wants to lsiten to that for an eternity?
Hey you know the old story....have your fun with democratic girls and then marry a nice republican girl with money! Before I marry a nice girl, I am going to have some serious fun. I think that I have broken all the commandments except for ``thou shalt not kill``. Though, I have bended that particular one on a couple of occassions. When it comes to this sphere, I am self confessed hypocrite. So do as I say, but please don`t do what I do! A pair of beer goggles and a dark room and sex is just sex.
Lets just say, if the walls of my fraternity house could speak, I would have been stoned to death a long time ago! I have reservations in Hell and that is where I am going. Heavan is boring with all those vertically challenged little naked blad men playing harp and who wants to lsiten to that for an eternity?
#19 Posted by Godot on January 25, 1999 1:26:11 pm
Re: Sadaf (16)
Hey, sister, it`s not an easy question to answer. Marriage is a tough shell to live in. Once the honeymoon is over, all the cute little things that you found charming in him/her during engagement become quite irritable; eg, him drinking beer everyday, her nagging all the time. If the two can come to an understanding that one needs a space of his/her own, that he/she should not be breathing down the other`s neck all the time, and that let he be him and she be her, then, I believe, it works well. However, the unfortunate part is that this husband/wife relationship, just as all other, is a two-way street. That must be established at the beginning, before committing to marry, and understood well by both parties. If not, then it will get pretty hot in that shell. [I don`t know if I agree with you that most marriages are rotten, though. It`s all what two people make of it.]
BTW, about that Mr Right or Miss Right. Forget about it. It`s all bull as soon as the honeymoon is over! Love is only a four-lettered word.
Hey, sister, it`s not an easy question to answer. Marriage is a tough shell to live in. Once the honeymoon is over, all the cute little things that you found charming in him/her during engagement become quite irritable; eg, him drinking beer everyday, her nagging all the time. If the two can come to an understanding that one needs a space of his/her own, that he/she should not be breathing down the other`s neck all the time, and that let he be him and she be her, then, I believe, it works well. However, the unfortunate part is that this husband/wife relationship, just as all other, is a two-way street. That must be established at the beginning, before committing to marry, and understood well by both parties. If not, then it will get pretty hot in that shell. [I don`t know if I agree with you that most marriages are rotten, though. It`s all what two people make of it.]
BTW, about that Mr Right or Miss Right. Forget about it. It`s all bull as soon as the honeymoon is over! Love is only a four-lettered word.
#18 Posted by Jack Handy on January 25, 1999 8:01:50 am
Re:fozia
`` Here in North America, a frequent complaint is that all the ``bad`` guys date then marry a ``gori`` and good guys go back home to find a nice shareef moldable wife. :) ``
Not a moldable but a person with a more mature and flexible approach to life.
`` Girls who are desperate to get married, radiate their insecurities, this is a major turn-off for potential husbands and potential mother-in-laws. :)``
I totally disagree with this one. Just be yourself, many girls try to mask their insecurities by coming across as over-confident
and blah blah blah ... THis is big no no IMHO.
Girls need to come across as affable and sensitive & caring ( and men need to too) - you academic or professional accomplishments or your families accomplishments have little or no bearing on the future realtionship.
There is nothing wrong in being insecure, MOst men are too. MOst instances here people get scared is either with career-centric meglomaniacs, or girls who just dont wanna compromise on anything - It is my life - I wanna marry on my terms. That never happens with either sex. So we spend an eternity waiting for Prince Valiant. And with time choices get fewer & fewer.
`` Here in North America, a frequent complaint is that all the ``bad`` guys date then marry a ``gori`` and good guys go back home to find a nice shareef moldable wife. :) ``
Not a moldable but a person with a more mature and flexible approach to life.
`` Girls who are desperate to get married, radiate their insecurities, this is a major turn-off for potential husbands and potential mother-in-laws. :)``
I totally disagree with this one. Just be yourself, many girls try to mask their insecurities by coming across as over-confident
and blah blah blah ... THis is big no no IMHO.
Girls need to come across as affable and sensitive & caring ( and men need to too) - you academic or professional accomplishments or your families accomplishments have little or no bearing on the future realtionship.
There is nothing wrong in being insecure, MOst men are too. MOst instances here people get scared is either with career-centric meglomaniacs, or girls who just dont wanna compromise on anything - It is my life - I wanna marry on my terms. That never happens with either sex. So we spend an eternity waiting for Prince Valiant. And with time choices get fewer & fewer.
#17 Posted by sadaf on January 25, 1999 8:01:50 am
I had a very interesting evening, last night. I live in a small town in Canada (Hi Fozia!), and last night all the Pakistani/Bangladeshi students gathered for a regular Eid potluck and some Bhangra. Somehow, we got talking and everyone shared the love-story of their lives (or the lack of one).
People ranged from ultra-conservative Pakis to typical ABCDs, young men in teens to experienced women. The stories ranged from infatuations with the 6-grade teacher, to losing a life-long friend to the ``zalim samaaj``.
Now how often do you do that? Everyone thinks about it. Everyone jokes about it. But you never talk about it openly. Believe me it is not very hard to do. There is something about the need to find Ms./Mr. Right, that it transcends everything else.
What surprised me was how mature, sensible and serious these twenty-something people were. Most people knew what they were looking for in a life-partner. And most of them wanted the same things: understanding, intelligent people with the same values.
So, I have a question. How come most marriages are rotten? Maybe it is just my personal experience, but I know of too many marriages that are pure hell, or tolerable at best.
Please, help a 21 year old sister who is at the verge of becoming a non-believer.
People ranged from ultra-conservative Pakis to typical ABCDs, young men in teens to experienced women. The stories ranged from infatuations with the 6-grade teacher, to losing a life-long friend to the ``zalim samaaj``.
Now how often do you do that? Everyone thinks about it. Everyone jokes about it. But you never talk about it openly. Believe me it is not very hard to do. There is something about the need to find Ms./Mr. Right, that it transcends everything else.
What surprised me was how mature, sensible and serious these twenty-something people were. Most people knew what they were looking for in a life-partner. And most of them wanted the same things: understanding, intelligent people with the same values.
So, I have a question. How come most marriages are rotten? Maybe it is just my personal experience, but I know of too many marriages that are pure hell, or tolerable at best.
Please, help a 21 year old sister who is at the verge of becoming a non-believer.
#16 Posted by Jack Handy on January 25, 1999 8:01:50 am
Re:fozia
`` Here in North America, a frequent complaint is that all the ``bad`` guys date then marry a ``gori`` and good guys go back home to find a nice shareef moldable wife. :) ``
Not a moldable but a person with a more mature and flexible approach to life.
`` Girls who are desperate to get married, radiate their insecurities, this is a major turn-off for potential husbands and potential mother-in-laws. :)``
I totally disagree with this one. Just be yourself, many girls try to mask their insecurities by coming across as over-confident
and blah blah blah ... THis is big no no IMHO.
Girls need to come across as affable and sensitive & caring ( and men need to too) - you academic or professional accomplishments or your families accomplishments have little or no bearing on the future realtionship.
There is nothing wrong in being insecure, MOst men are too. MOst instances here people get scared is either with career-centric meglomaniacs, or girls who just dont wanna compromise on anything - It is my life - I wanna marry on my terms. That never happens with either sex. So we spend an eternity waiting for Prince Valiant. And with time choices get fewer & fewer.
`` Here in North America, a frequent complaint is that all the ``bad`` guys date then marry a ``gori`` and good guys go back home to find a nice shareef moldable wife. :) ``
Not a moldable but a person with a more mature and flexible approach to life.
`` Girls who are desperate to get married, radiate their insecurities, this is a major turn-off for potential husbands and potential mother-in-laws. :)``
I totally disagree with this one. Just be yourself, many girls try to mask their insecurities by coming across as over-confident
and blah blah blah ... THis is big no no IMHO.
Girls need to come across as affable and sensitive & caring ( and men need to too) - you academic or professional accomplishments or your families accomplishments have little or no bearing on the future realtionship.
There is nothing wrong in being insecure, MOst men are too. MOst instances here people get scared is either with career-centric meglomaniacs, or girls who just dont wanna compromise on anything - It is my life - I wanna marry on my terms. That never happens with either sex. So we spend an eternity waiting for Prince Valiant. And with time choices get fewer & fewer.
#15 Posted by fozia on January 24, 1999 7:29:44 pm
Bina,
Great article, it was hilarious. I found it amusing that a complaint of the girls in Karachi is that all the good men have left for Canada, or America. Here in North America, a frequent complaint is that all the ``bad`` guys date then marry a ``gori`` and good guys go back home to find a nice shareef moldable wife. :)
Seriously though, there is a saying that says ``The more you want something, the more it runs away from you``. Girls who are desperate to get married, radiate their insecurities, this is a major turn-off for potential husbands and potential mother-in-laws. :)
I like to compare this to a job interview. Generally speaking, the more someone wants a job,
the more nervous he/she is. Then, come interview time, they are more likely to stay stupid things, and lose the job. On the other hand when they relax, and walk in with a confident attitude, 9 times out of ten they get the job.
Yes, I know relationships are a whole different ball game but there are some valid similarities. :)
Re: RR
Thanks for providing the North American perspective to this problem. I agree that where there aren`t as well-developed networks and as much ``selection``, than it`s important for people to create opportunities. At the same time, the youth (and parents) need to develop some patience. Too often I`ve seen young people at the age of 19/20 say ``there aren`t any cool muslims of the opposite sex around here `` so they start dating non-muslims or go to Pakistan to get hooked up. And like Altaf said this reduces the pool even further.
People need to figure out what they really want in a spouse first and then create opportunities to find such muslims first. And they shouldn`t give up after a few failed attempts, maybe I`m just an optimist, but I really do think people can find who they are looking for, if they just chill out, make an effort to meet like minded muslims, give it time and let their fate (some would say Allah`s will) take of the rest.
Regards,
Fozia Zaidi
Great article, it was hilarious. I found it amusing that a complaint of the girls in Karachi is that all the good men have left for Canada, or America. Here in North America, a frequent complaint is that all the ``bad`` guys date then marry a ``gori`` and good guys go back home to find a nice shareef moldable wife. :)
Seriously though, there is a saying that says ``The more you want something, the more it runs away from you``. Girls who are desperate to get married, radiate their insecurities, this is a major turn-off for potential husbands and potential mother-in-laws. :)
I like to compare this to a job interview. Generally speaking, the more someone wants a job,
the more nervous he/she is. Then, come interview time, they are more likely to stay stupid things, and lose the job. On the other hand when they relax, and walk in with a confident attitude, 9 times out of ten they get the job.
Yes, I know relationships are a whole different ball game but there are some valid similarities. :)
Re: RR
Thanks for providing the North American perspective to this problem. I agree that where there aren`t as well-developed networks and as much ``selection``, than it`s important for people to create opportunities. At the same time, the youth (and parents) need to develop some patience. Too often I`ve seen young people at the age of 19/20 say ``there aren`t any cool muslims of the opposite sex around here `` so they start dating non-muslims or go to Pakistan to get hooked up. And like Altaf said this reduces the pool even further.
People need to figure out what they really want in a spouse first and then create opportunities to find such muslims first. And they shouldn`t give up after a few failed attempts, maybe I`m just an optimist, but I really do think people can find who they are looking for, if they just chill out, make an effort to meet like minded muslims, give it time and let their fate (some would say Allah`s will) take of the rest.
Regards,
Fozia Zaidi
#14 Posted by Jack Handy on January 24, 1999 10:38:47 am
Stages in a SIngle desi quest for matrimony.
1. Ammi ke pasand Vs Betay ke pasand
Ami`s pasand - cousin
( bhai/behen/fav relative/ ke beti).
Betay - Anybody else. Pleasssseeee!!!!!
2. Ami`s selection criteria Vs Son`s
selection criterion
- Tall, fair, pretty with a BA in stupidity.
- Kashish mom Kashish and some brains.....
3. Ammi dejected - family members to the rescue.
Mom - Some giris gonna kidnap my son.
CO-dependency vanquished :-)
Relatives: Intelligence you want intelligence
by profession physician, Engineer, MBA
Beta: Independent of profession.
Realtives ( collectively) huh!!!!!
4. Family: This kid is crazy -
gone to US lost his head. Actually wants
to get to know the girl better. Besharam.
Ammi: Whateever you want son you are crossing
30?? koi bhi aachi ladki nahin milaygee.
Son : Finally .....
5. Finds girl gets married. Happy ....
Mom ( lamenting to social friends): I showed
him hoor. He married a langoor.
1. Ammi ke pasand Vs Betay ke pasand
Ami`s pasand - cousin
( bhai/behen/fav relative/ ke beti).
Betay - Anybody else. Pleasssseeee!!!!!
2. Ami`s selection criteria Vs Son`s
selection criterion
- Tall, fair, pretty with a BA in stupidity.
- Kashish mom Kashish and some brains.....
3. Ammi dejected - family members to the rescue.
Mom - Some giris gonna kidnap my son.
CO-dependency vanquished :-)
Relatives: Intelligence you want intelligence
by profession physician, Engineer, MBA
Beta: Independent of profession.
Realtives ( collectively) huh!!!!!
4. Family: This kid is crazy -
gone to US lost his head. Actually wants
to get to know the girl better. Besharam.
Ammi: Whateever you want son you are crossing
30?? koi bhi aachi ladki nahin milaygee.
Son : Finally .....
5. Finds girl gets married. Happy ....
Mom ( lamenting to social friends): I showed
him hoor. He married a langoor.
#13 Posted by Jack Handy on January 24, 1999 10:38:47 am
Stages in a SIngle desi quest for matrimony.
1. Ammi ke pasand Vs Betay ke pasand
Ami`s pasand - cousin
( bhai/behen/fav relative/ ke beti).
Betay - Anybody else. Pleasssseeee!!!!!
2. Ami`s selection criteria Vs Son`s
selection criterion
- Tall, fair, pretty with a BA in stupidity.
- Kashish mom Kashish and some brains.....
3. Ammi dejected - family members to the rescue.
Mom - Some giris gonna kidnap my son.
CO-dependency vanquished :-)
Relatives: Intelligence you want intelligence
by profession physician, Engineer, MBA
Beta: Independent of profession.
Realtives ( collectively) huh!!!!!
4. Family: This kid is crazy -
gone to US lost his head. Actually wants
to get to know the girl better. Besharam.
Ammi: Whateever you want son you are crossing
30?? koi bhi aachi ladki nahin milaygee.
Son : Finally .....
5. Finds girl gets married. Happy ....
Mom ( lamenting to social friends): I showed
him hoor. He married a langoor.
1. Ammi ke pasand Vs Betay ke pasand
Ami`s pasand - cousin
( bhai/behen/fav relative/ ke beti).
Betay - Anybody else. Pleasssseeee!!!!!
2. Ami`s selection criteria Vs Son`s
selection criterion
- Tall, fair, pretty with a BA in stupidity.
- Kashish mom Kashish and some brains.....
3. Ammi dejected - family members to the rescue.
Mom - Some giris gonna kidnap my son.
CO-dependency vanquished :-)
Relatives: Intelligence you want intelligence
by profession physician, Engineer, MBA
Beta: Independent of profession.
Realtives ( collectively) huh!!!!!
4. Family: This kid is crazy -
gone to US lost his head. Actually wants
to get to know the girl better. Besharam.
Ammi: Whateever you want son you are crossing
30?? koi bhi aachi ladki nahin milaygee.
Son : Finally .....
5. Finds girl gets married. Happy ....
Mom ( lamenting to social friends): I showed
him hoor. He married a langoor.
#12 Posted by tahmed321 on January 24, 1999 9:13:28 am
Well written, entertaining article. The problem, as I see it, is more the community pressure to get married and less the personal pressures of being single. Perhaps a hundred years from now (when economic security is taken for granted while air and water are not -- but that`s another story) we may even find a solution to the dilemmas noted here, but for now I can only ask the ladies to grin and bear it.
#11 Posted by MAK on January 24, 1999 12:18:35 am
Quite humerous reflecting imporant message and the attitude of our society. This has become a ritual that girls are asked the reason of not being getting married rather boys. Boys get late for a good reason that is bright and stable future while girls wait for the right solumate and of course criteria of `the right solumate` varies from one to another. Some girls are awaiting for their prince from North America/Europe and some curse the results of CSS exams. Boys also set some criteria and again this varies person to person. Some of them have committed not to get married until Madhuri or Ms. Kapoor (or like them) visit them and some pray everyday that anyone (even widow with a child) from NA gives a chance settle in NA.
The situation is neurotic for parents specially of a girl and I think no one has right to ask this question to any girl but again this has become so common in our society that no one heeds that whether someone is being hurt by their inquisitive nature. My all sympathies with such girls but BB wait a second, be patientce, chill out and think again. Not all men are b--stards!!
The situation is neurotic for parents specially of a girl and I think no one has right to ask this question to any girl but again this has become so common in our society that no one heeds that whether someone is being hurt by their inquisitive nature. My all sympathies with such girls but BB wait a second, be patientce, chill out and think again. Not all men are b--stards!!
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