Growing up an American Muslim

It must be really difficult growing up in the US or for that matter in any European country while hanging on to a ``controversial`` Islamic heritage.

However, I am always amazed at the mentality behind the Muslims who were born here.

Their basis of relations with the newcomers somehow don`t appear to be different from the reactions that Reformed Jews had to the third wave of Jewish arrivals from the Eastern Europe in the 1880s, which were of shame and abhorance towards the new Jews. This is not a reaction to the article directly but it does shoot off of the article to some extent where I feel that the Muslims who grew up here have a really hard time comming to terms with the fact that the newcomers can be so ``stupid`` and ``unAmerican,`` and then turn around to blast the ``normal`` Americans for discrimination directed towards themselves. This discrimination, they claim, interestingly enough, also comes from them being ``not-so-American.``

Any thoughts, anyone?

Zehra,

This article has brought back some old memories for me. The most prominent one being of when I was 14 years old, and in my grade 9 Social Studies class.

We were studying modern Arab history as part of the Middle East chapter in our textbook. The basics of Islam were also covered in this section.

One day before the start of class, I was chatting with my teacher and let him know that I was in fact a Muslim. The teacher became really excited at this and asked if I`d be willing to answer a few questions about Islam in class.

I thought ``Sure why not? I can answer a couple of questions.`` and agreed to so. Little did I know what I was getting to...

The class starts, and my teacher announces ``Class, as you all know we are studying the Middle East section, and Islam is the major religon there. Fozia just told me that she is a Muslim. Now We all know very little about Islam, but what better way to learn than to ask someone who follows it?

So I`m opening up the class to let you all ask any questions you may have about Islam to Fozia.``

Well to make a long story short, I spent the entire 60 minute class fielding all questions that came to the minds of 30 kids and 2 teachers. Not only that, I spent a good portion of the next day`s class doing the same thing!

I answered questions on everything ranging from fundamental beliefs of Islam, to ``Do you really kill cows in that weird way?``, oh and ``Do you really starve for a like a whole Month?``. Adam/Eve, Jesus, Christmas and dozens of others items I can`t even remember were all brought up.

Let`s just say overwhelmed feelings of Interrogation would be one way of describing how I felt after all that was over!

I grew up in a very small town in Canada, which had only a few Muslim families and no mosque. So my knowledge was limited to what my mother had taught me and a few ``Children`s books on Islam`` and ``Stories of the Prophets`` I had read.

Needless to say all my meagre Islamic knowledge was being stretched to the max.

I wouldn`t say that it was a bad experience, ``challenging`` maybe, but not bad. If anything it made me realize what little I knew and compelled me to remedy this lack of knowledge from that time onwards.

Since then, there have been many occasions where I`ve been asked to speak on Islam. But now it`s pretty easy. Most people just ask the same questions again and again. :)

Fortunately I`ve never had to deal with people not liking me because I was Muslim. In my experience, I was viewed more like I was the follower of some far-off, exotic religon.

It is indeed a struggle to live as a second generation Muslim in North America. Peer pressures, cultural and religous conflicts are not easy to deal with. However I feel it`s struggle that gives life it`s meaning. As Muslims we believe that we have to ``earn`` our way to Paradise, and as such there isn`t a Muslim anywhere in this world who doesn`t have major challenges in their life to overcome.

Most of the Muslims in North America have the luxury of being much more financially well off than their brethern in other parts of the world. But in place of that we have to deal with a greater struggle from within ourselves and shaping our identities as Muslims in this society.

It`ll take many, many years before a true North American Muslim identity emerges. Most likely it won`t be until our children`s generation or even grandchildren.

It`s a great social engineering exercise that`s occuring here. Maybe someday in the future sociologists and anthropologists will be writing on the development of the North American Muslim personality.

On a side note, I wonder how future generations of Canadian Muslims will differ (if at all) from American Muslims. I know there is one major difference in the governments philosophies concerning immigrants. The U.S likes to think of itself as a ``melting pot`` where all cultures/religons mix together and the end result is ``American``. Now here in Canada, the philosophy is that of a ``mosaic`` where different cultures/religons are encouraged to maintain their unique characteristics yet at the same time join together to form a overall Canadian identity. It`ll be interesting to see if this has any effect on the future outcome...

Regards,

Fozia Zaidi

Zehra:

Welcome! Wish your first submission to Chowk had been an original one. Perhaps, next time.

Knee jerk reaction are not confined to these Excited States only. I remember the first few hours after the Oklahoma blast, the media was going haywire over middle eastern connections-- they even unearthed some conference in the deep south that was addressed by some Arab a few days earlier. In Pakistan, recently, the bomb blast near Lahore that failed to cure the excesses of Badmaash Shareef was immediately blamed on the MQM. Later, it transpierd it was the work of Green Shirts. In neigbouring India, even before the first investigator has stepped out of his house, the officials blame ISI. And life goes on..........

regards

Re: Zehra

You are scaring me! My suggestion is stick with polisci and then some day, we will rule the world (insert sounds of hollow laughter here)!

Re: Fozia post # 3

You from Canada eh? Nice knowing that, eh! Not only do I have to deal with that Canuck called Temporal, but now I got to put up with you too, eh? Maybe, the three of us can sing ``O` Canada``, eh?

As for myself, having lived in the Great White North, I am more partial towards the American idea of fondue than a Canadian mosaic. All through high school, in Ottawa, we learned about the Canadian mosaic. The reason that I like the American melting pot is because it blurs all nationalistic cultural identies. The former Jugoslavia is turning into a real mosaic too and the problem with any mosaic is that, after a while, the damn thing crumbles and makes a mess every where.

My biggest problem with the Canadian mosaic is that, in order to preserve distinct cultural traits, it creates a simmering problem. Just look at the Quebecois in Quebec and their zeal for language rights and independence referandums. Even though English is an offical language of Canada, along side with French, they still pass laws that restrict English from appearing and any shop in Quebec with english signs is hounded by the language police. This Canadian mosaic is creating internal problems in Canada, because under this idea, Quebec has been given too much rights and that is alienating the western provinces in the Canadian confederation.

It is about time some one put those damn Quebecois frogs in their places and remind them that Marquis de Montcalm lost the Battle of Abrahams and Montreal and Quebec to the English. What is the flag of Quebec? It is the fleur de lily; the symbol of the Bourbon monarchy of France! The morons in Quebec are still thristing for revanche against le anglis and their offical state motto is j` souviens - I remember. They still remember their defeat at the hands of Wolffe in 1759! The British should have forced these damn frogs to learn english at gun point!

I like the bastardization of the American melting pot, because no cares or knows what is their past history.

Folks, you ain`t speaking inglish, you ain`t welcome in these parts! I got ma gun and I kill yawr ass `cause yaw don`t speak no American yaw damn fur-in-ners! Git yawr ass back `cause I ain`t learnin` oar speakin` no new damn tonque oar mending ma ways!

Umair and the Chowk Muscleman:

Please note this self-confessed 1/4th Parsi-Pakistani-Canadian-American is disturbing the hornet`s nest again. (underlined again). The storm that will brew heneceforth shall be the sole responsibilty of the aforementioned individual!

Feroze:

I could not quite put a finger on your derivative eloquence-----mis-spellings aside. Now I know.
It must have emanated from the fine schooling you received in the Great White Yonder.

Coupla years ago, visiting one of the Shifa Clinic doctor near Harvardistan I stopped for directions. Lo behold! They only spoke Spanish. This was in the North East. I am told there are scores of Spanish only locales in the south and the west. So much for the melting pot theory. More on this later when the single malt fades away.

Fozia:

Don`t be un-nerved with this sheep in wolf`s clothing. He is quite harmless during daylight hours.

Zehra:

Like I was saying......

regards

Feroze:

Please elaborate on this idea of yours about the mosaic and its crumblings.

Personally, I disagree with the melting pot idea simply because my friend, it ain`t workin` south of the border either. Since you are taking examples off of real life situations and history, why don`t you pull your examples closer to the contemporary situations and look at the contemporary examples of the ``melting pot.`` The melting hot fact is that it just does not work.

Melting pot? US? Where? English only? Sure, in schools maybe... aqui en Los Angeles hablamos espanol!

Re: all

Feroze makes a valid point when he talks about ``the melting pot``. (atleast in my opinion). However it must be noted that the melting pot theory worked well as long as the underlying structure depended on racial and religious similarities . Thus a German American or an Irish American or an English American can proudly proclaim their national origins but remain unswayed by the happenings in their countries of origin and could even go to war with their countries of origin. This happens primarily because of the melting pot concept. Religion aids this aspect too. It is interesting to note that the melting pot theory fails when applied to people of non WASP or non-WASC origins. Thus hispanics, Jews and Asians tend to move away from the melting pot. However, From what i have seen, second generation Jews, Chinese and other non-muslims (buddhists, Hindus, Shintos) assimilate to a greater extent into the melting pot than the muslims since their religious tenets are not strong enough to prevent such an inter-racial, inter-religious mixture. Interestingly though, black converts to islam also do not face such a cultural or other barrier with this melting pot issue. It is predominantly the Asian (East, South and West) muslims and hispanics who face this issue. And of these the hispanics are the ones who can really be blamed for their refusal to identify with the mainstream American context . Quite a few American friends of mine have grumbled about the Hispanics refusal to learn English. (one of them a second generation Italian American questioned the principle of the Hispanics in comparison with himself --- given the fact that he does not know an iota of his original mother tongue)

Any comments ?

Rishi

Re; Rishi:
``hispanics are the ones who can really be blamed for their refusal to identify with the mainstream American context``

If I was a Spanish speaking American who grew up in a ranch in Texas much like her ancestors( who lived on the land here before the English speaking man proclaimed it to be a part of his country), or in Peurto Rico for that matter,I would`ve found your comments pretty offensive.

Ferozk

Well if you are interested in knowing about who all participate on the web, let me introduce myself as being Canadian. Since others have already pointed out that there are areas where only Spanish is spoken. I would like to add there are shopping areas in North America where only chinese is spoken and all the signs are in chinese (and no there are no laws saying that the shop signs should be in chinese).

fozia

I hope that you are able to write an article or maybe establish a website for the most frequently asked questions about Islam in school. This would be a great help to students and parents alike (as parents would be able to advise their children what to answer).

P.S. Does anybody know why women are not allowed to go to the graveyard (Jordan context).

Well written, I know how hard it is to stay focused on your identity and how hard it can be to keep explaining and apologising to the rest of the western world for being a muslim...the religion of Saddam Hussain and most terrorist

factions..and at the same time being proud of who you are.

I have two growing children and I struggle hard to instill in them a love of their identity..without warping their minds into thinking that everyone else is ``bad and wrong``.

I don`t want them to think everything so called muslims do is right, yet I want them to believe Islam is right.I don`t want them to not fit in or

to have to live a dual lifestyle, one at home and one at school.... yet the balance seems to be just out of my reach....am I missing something?

temporal,

let me welcome you to chowk..i was published once before with an original piece which i guess the chowk staff forgot to add to my list of ``other articles by F. Zehra Rizvi`` its called ``the temptress at barnes and noble``.

re: all

i am strapped for time but love that the first time i lay eyes on my piece at chowk, we have ten replies already posted. i am really hoping for some constructive discussion on one of my favorite topics of discussions..the melting pot and our place in the stew. (the siberia north to the US not to be forgotten..my aunts tell of harrowing tales of discrimination in canada when they first got off the boat in the late 60`s and early 70`s).

re:ferozk

whats the use of polisci again? art history..now THAT opens up so much. not only does it speak of culture, but history and also politics..covering more ground that way..its not so much one dimensional. trouble is, there is too much i want to do and therefore keep wavering between everythign i set my eyes on...i need to close my eyes and just start getting things done.

rizvi.

gulf war was a turning point for many of us going through high schools and junior highs in amreeka-canada. it made something that might not have been a issue into something more just a issue. it is interesting to see so many different reactions to this piece some more engaging than others

but i think the writing here is refreshinly clear and honest. i don`t think the author makes any judgment calls or distinctions between fobs and abcd`s (re: first reply to this piece. by the way i am a fob so i have the license to use the term). but she is simply observing how she is percieved and categorized due to her subject position and how that differs from what how she percieves herself.

Re: Amin Saleh post # 10

Thanks! It was nice knowing you are a Canadian!

My reference to language rights was not intended to cover all of North America, but apply to Quebec only. I know there is Chinese spoken in Vancouver (I miss having tea at the Victoria hotel), but it is only in Quebec, where the French speaking population is determined to enforce French as the only lingua franca of the province. As to the language police, it is not the offical provincial police, but groups of Quebecois who have created a self styled watch dog lobby which tells the authorities about English signs. The Quebec parliament passed a bill, Bill 101, which makes it illegal to post signs in English.

Re: Zehra

What ever! Polisci is about exploiting and abusing the system; who wants to care about cultural non sense? Take my advice, go pre-law and then go to a law school and become a lawyer and screw every one, legally, in sight!!!:)

Re: Temporal post # 5

Oye yaar what are doing to me?!

I tell you buddy, race baiting is such a fun way to get a reaction out of people! No wonder why politicans love to play this issue. Rabble rousing, that is the way to go!! Since I am in self confessing mood, I admit, on the record, that I am an equal opportunity discriminator. I hate every one equally without passion or prejudice!!! So bring it on, I am ready to rumble!

Re: afrasiyab post # 6

Getting serious, the reason that I dislike the idea of mosaic is that it preserves the identity, past history and cultural affinities of a group. Under the assumption of a mosiac based society is the simmering feelings of a distinct group nationalism. This dynamic may be mooted, but it always exists and there is always a person willing to exploit it.

It is for this reason that I prefer the American melting pot. As Rishi said, the idea of the melting pot has evolved and is mostly non-applicable to the new immigrants, but still, that does not lessen the value of the idea. The melting pot erases all different nationalistic traits. In socities like the Canadian or the American, most immigrants come here to escape their old political and religious animosities.

A mosaic preserves those emotions, habits or traits, but a melting pot dilutes them over a period of time.

In other words, what is the point of moving your self across the ocean in search for a better life and still drag along the baggage of the old world with all its hate, rancour and bitterness with you? If you want to preserve the life that forced you to move, why move and why not stay where you are!

As to Aliya`s contention to Rishi about offending the sensibilities of the Spainish speaking population, all I can say is get used to it! It is the same with the native Americans who complain about the loss of their ancestral lands to the white men. My one and only answer for these people with hurt and wounded nostalgia for the past is, ``well, you should have fought harder, shouldn`t you?`` The language of this country is English - so either swim or sink, the choice is yours, but don`t blame the society for your short comings!

I am sick and tired of comforting these cry babies and giving them everything on a silver plater. There is racism every where and that is a fact of life. No one is going to love you because you are different and to demand so, is utterly sophmoric. Either you can stand up to racism or you can play the victim. Speaking for myself, the only way to deal with racists fucknuts is look them straight in the eye and promise and tell those sons of bitches to go to hell!!!!!!

Nice article Zahra! I especially liked the way you dealt with the issue of the pledge of allegience. I just stood quietly, not being an American citizen at the time i was in middle school, but i certainly remember that EVERYDAY nonsense. In retrospect, growing up in Karachi I remember have to sing ``PAK SAR ZAMEEN``, which also seems like nonsense now, considering we were then under the rule of the dictator Zia. You certainly didn`t make an unusual comment about the Oklahoma City bombing, i thought it was Muslims too, initially! But the press totally assumed it was middle east related like a knee jerk reaction.

Can we really blame them though? Afterall, all the stuff that makes the headline news that involves Muslims is pretty negative stuff in general. (Lets not get into the issue of who decides what qualifies as News per se) I definitely also can relate to your social studies grade 9 experience. Mine however was NOT a positive experience. Faced a similar situation in N.Y. But, the most embarrasing aspect of it was the lecture on Islam that a 70 yr old x-Punjab University Prof Dr.Moizuddin? [he taught at P.U for 30 yrs] (who happened to be a substitute teacher in the high school) gave to the class as he was invited as a guest speaker. Some of the issues he discussed, and the way he discussed them really made me sqirm in my seat and want to hide under the desk.

Issue #1 The importance Pakistani culture & Islam place on the Virginity of unmarried girls. Her, ``most precious jewel/ornament.``

Issue #2 Pork. Why don`t Muslims eat it ? Well, it ``encourages shamelessness.`` Why? Well thankfully he didn`t elaborate any further. His theory was apparently that it increased women`s sex drives. (It would have been better if he had just described the facts of early Islamic history that led to the banning of pork: namely, people had been dying after eating pork because the worms form cysts around them that could not be killed by fire & furthermore, that pigs eat their own excrement and therefore are FILTHY animals unfit for human consumption).

Being a VERY ANTI-HIJAB person myself, I can`t empathize with you on this issue. I would never permit this in my own family (when I have one, or if i had a sister, perhaps even if she wanted to), since I sincerely believe it is a symbol of the enforced stagnation in thinking prevelant in Islam. On the other hand, I will defend your right to wear it, though i disapprove of your choice personally. Operant Conditioning. The reason why women wear it, and feel self empowered. (Cause I know you`ll say this, its fashionable to say its a product of free choice)Its really just a male trick on women to make them wear it to begin with, a means of control, and to inclucate the value of modesty in women initially (remember how Violent Hazrat Omar (pbuh) could be towards his own sister & brother in law when he found they converted, imagine him and others who honestly, albeit mistakenly believed that G-D mandated Hijab, and you can see clearly how it all started), and then let mothers pass it on to daughters and make them proud of actually wearing it. Yes, when you`re under fire it begins to feel like its part of the seperate/different identity that`s under seige and so much a part of you but it really just goes back to the days your great great et al grandma was told by society she MUST wear it, and then just passed it/inclucated it in on to her daughter as a positive social value/good, and it just continued onwards. Do u really have a choice?

Nope, more like an APPARENT CHOICE. You have the freedom not to wear it if you choose and your family is willing to let u, BUT here`s the really deceptive part. Patriachical Muslim society in N.America knows full well that at the age of 18 you are an adult, and can leave home if you choose, (and wear whatever you want)[and unlike Pakistan, Parents cannot confine you against your will, use the police/state power of the courts aginst you, example. Humerira/Butt case, so they need for you to believe in your consent, kind of like the situation in Somalia where WOMEN circumcise other women and create the pressure to do so, but initially and even today female circumcision is a form of male control over women, to deprive them of the pleasure of sex and by eliminating sexual desire, reducing the chance of MEN being made cuckolds, with all the communal loss of face that entails] so it fosters the value of the WORTHIER choice, the self- sacrificing choice, it tells you when you are young and follow their wishes unquestioningly, kei, ``beeti, sahih rasta kabhi aasaan nahinh hota, ghalat rasta hameesha aasaan hota hai``. I.E The morally right path will not be easy, but the wrong path will always be easier to travel. When you`re young this impresses upon you the feeling of martyrdom, afterall, you need something to keep you going since you can`t have a normal N.American social life and you know this early on (that you are different, so in order to withstand the pressure from the outside world, you need to at least have the feeling of noble sacrifice within u, which is precisely what patriarchial society allows you to do and fosters). So from within you has to come the power, the feeling of one individual standing up against the crowd, which can only be justified if you feel that sometimes the crowd can be wrong and the individual right, in standing up with a different view/way of life. Ofcouse in a tolerant society like the U.S this is possible. In Pakistan, it just leads to massacres in mosques, and the abductions of baligh (legally adult) women who are free according to G-D`s law to marry whomsoever they choose. Here in N.America you can choose to be different and defy social conventions, but the land of your parent`s birth is not so tolerant of individuals who ``defy`` social customs. In fact, they are branded as trouble makers and hounded.

Any Comments ?

Re: Ferozk:
Aray aray baba itna ghussa, such profane language, it doesn’t become you Khan Sahib.
You Say:
``all I can say is get used to it! It is the same with the native Americans who complain about the loss of their ancestral lands to the white men. My one and only answer for these people with hurt and wounded nostalgia for the past is, ``well, you should have fought harder, shouldn`t you?`` The language of this country is English -``

If one were to take up your position, all the people who were conquered should lose their languages as a price (something that fortunately didn’t happen in the subcontinent, or Africa, or..... ….). This inhumane practice hopefully ended with slavery.

Someone might say that it is not your (the newest of immigrants ) place to chastise the natives of the land for not being ruthless enough when they were attacked with foreign diseases and weapons.

Because a group of people killed more natives than the other way around does not make it OK to defend all their future actions. Hopefully, even if they managed to ``win``, most civilized nations will continue to enrich themselves by the diversity in culture and language, which is why the old method of destroying all that was indigenous has long ago been abandoned by most civilized ``conquerors``.