My Ode to Rishtay

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A Studabaker; A big American car that its difficult to find parking for.:)

Omar

Mr. Baker:

Sorry could not get back to you and would not be able to do so before the weekend.

Unfortunately/Fortunately am quite busy.

Later,

Note: In the meantime, please keep on reciting the verse of Iqbal that I quoted :-)

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Re: Studebaker #71

``Its like a synchronously man the workhorse engine runs on the fuel from women.``

You just don`t get it, do you?

May be my wifes post somewhere help to express the intricasieses of relation ships of life,when it comes to`` yield,proceed, stop, turn ,pass....``

Logic, science,legality etc. could never make the rules of relationship it is a natural talent of compatible chemistry!Mr. Baker you are indeed lucky to have found the right person in a wrong world.However i would like to live in your UTOPIA where where man & women are not parasitical in relationship but SYMBIOTIC existence,so that one cant live withoput the other how, ``Romeo juliet`` like.

``Now I realised Everything Happens For A Reason. Sometimes people come

into ourlife and We don`t know right away that they were meant to be

there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure

out who you are? And sometimes things happen to us at the time that may

seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection we realize that

without overcoming those obstacles we would have never realized our

potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.

I never know One Guy is going to make change in my life completely.but

when we lock eyes with them, we know that every moment that they will

affect our life in some ways. After i met him there is a change in my

life.before marriage I was different. Now I Create My own life because

of him.

That person is my husband----``

ZAHRA #72

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Mr. Baker:

It is not about Haan Ya Naan. I could read a Jullee Bhunee tone therefore I said ``Paich-o-Taab``.

``Women have more jobs because of economy & not ERA.All it has done confused the women as to what is more important Family or career!``

Reading your views assures me something. You are more than welcome to correct me if they are incorrect. It seems you are a married fellow. And you have a good plea for not having a wife who is a working woman. ???

Well, life for married ones are different than those for the singles. Importance of

Career vs Family or Career and family or either Career or Family is relative to a person, regardless of being a man or a woman. That is my view.

And it is probably because I always aspired to work and have a nice professional position with an international firm. It was just a child`s aspiration but there was a lot of hard work and prayers involved in the final results. By the Grace of God, I got what I prayed for.

That did not mean that all the other entities in my life disappeared. In fact, I happened to love and respect them far more as they were/are my emotional support. Yes, there are times when being in a highly visible position one has to give a good portion of ones life to that but it is on a person how he/she balances.

Men/Women are equally capable of creating work/life balance. It is apparently harder for an Eastern Man to believe that. And I am not trying to be annoying here. But I am NOT throwing words in the air as well.

Your examples are quite unclear. For either you do not want them to be understood or are at a level where it is hard to understand thee.

I guess I need to write a little more on my observations while growing up. As I mentioned previously about always wanting to be in a career, as I child I never had the sense of what it means to work or earn money. Well, I meant that I was well provided. But still had the urge to be on my own.

So my first internship as a 23 year old was very eye opening for me. I had so much respect for the managers(men) in my office that I cannot even express. I used to see the high blood pressures, the long days, the ups and downs and all that happens in a very highly proactive environment. That was in Lahore, Pakistan. Then I would see my manager`s wife being unable to do things herself. For instance, if a child has to be taken to the hospital then she will give him a call and the husband has to go home and pick up the kid along with the mother and then drive them to the hospital and then drop them back and then come back to work. I was an intern and that was my first life time experience of the corporate world. I wished to ask his wife that she should learn how to drive and then understand that her husband is working quite long hours to finish his job and she should manage certain things on her own. Well, that was what a child`s(me) thougt. I interned with that company for six months. When I was leaving I had a clear picture that it was not only the wife but it was the husband himself who never encouraged her. In fact, being a Pathan it was a question of ``honor``. We have a lot of idiots with these nonsense honor on the face of earth.

Do not you think that by sharing the burden the husband would have lesser chances to have a heart attack rather than preserving the false prestige ?

``So your point is well taken into account.``

I am quite amused to read that. Even if no one agrees with me, by the Grace of God my views will remain my views. :-) Though thanks for the confirmation.

Well you mentioned my beloved Poet Laureate, and just to let thee know I have Hifz Karofy a lot of his verses, Rubiyaat in my childhood and have kept them with me since then.

I am surprised quoting Iqbal you forgot to realize that he has criticized the youth a lot. And I will just say not to further belabor my thoughts and to remind thee what he said about ``his own species``. Well dear Poet Laureate knew the Suqm in the community even 80 years back :-)

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Re: STUD-A-BAKER

You said re American Womyn

They are so well done steak, that they are burnt out.

Hey Stud, frankly i think this is quite an outrageous comment, it reminds me of another ridiculous comment from a past article by someone else who thinks like you do, he said that he did`nt want a `used wife,` `cause heck, he couldn`t even bring himself to buy a `used/2nd hand car`.

One set of values for those with/out hymens, another for those with dicks? Typical desi male chauvanist mentality pal. I know you`re not espousing celibacy for young men 18-26 at their sexual peak, right? :) `Cause after that, we all know it all goes into a steady decline. That is an incontrovertible fact. Why do you think in Mughal times marriage was common at the ages of 15-17 ? Its only the industrialization of society that when combined with traditional muslim mores, has become a lunatic system designed solely to frustrate nature`s prime directive by delaying marriage which = regular sex, for men upto their late 20s and fact is, its not reasonable to expect religion to give ya an orgasm or compensate for the lack of one. And you can do Zikar all you want all day long, join the whirling dervishes or other sufi order if you like, but when an 18 yr old gets up in the morning every day with a permenant hardon and has 10 errections a day, it just ain`t gonna do it for him. Now logically, unless you espose homosexuality, these men who are going to have sex, are going to do so with guess whom ... SURPRISE, `WOMYN!` So obviously if you refer to the womyn as `well done`, the men can`t exactly be keeping their dicks in their pants in order for that to be true. Hypocricy, and a one sided misogynistic patriarchical view are the hallmarks of the average Paki male to say nothing of the Peter Pan Syndrome. You suffer from these faults in my humble opinion.

Omar

Mr. Baker:

Uchaa Ub Kuch Sumujh Main Aya Kae Aap Itna Paich-o-Taab Kyoon show Kur Rahae Haen.

I personally have very hard time tolerating a fellow who tries to emotionally misuse a woman`s success.

You did not comment on a man being a CEO and having a six year old that he neglects and never acts as the father he is supposed to be. A man is not only supposed to be a bread-winner but also has to observe the roles he falls into (or is supposed to ). Why people become so damn threatened when they see a woman doing well ? And immediately start assuming that Oh, she will be quite negligent when it comes to fair well with her roles as a mother, sister, daughter, wife, grandma, great great grandma ? I guess, this is something i have never able to understand.

The way I interepreted this ``strange insecurity`` was :

a) Women have worked hard and harder to do well in life for themselves or for their families(whatever) but the male mentality has not changed.

b) The percentage of Eastern men with mothers as working woman is few and far between. Therefore, the concept of an Eastern Woman being an independent person is quite ``discomforting`` for many.

It immediately makes him picture a western woman with boundless energy and independance and what next? That picture of the western woman is someone who does not like to be in bounds, having responsibilties and all Ulah Blah Shalah.

U pick-up a Cosmo edition and you will see a strong woman`s picture who has no inhibitions. But that is not THE ONLY PICTURE OF WESTERN WOMEN, on Cosmos cover on Estee Lauder`s ad.

There are a lot of them who are great mothers, sisters, wives and grandmas and are worth admiring. And they utilize themselves effectively than wasting time in getting a house cleaned or monitoring a batch of servants.

But it is probably to do with the priorities and also what is on their plate.

I can go on and on. But I hope that you understood my points.

Take Care

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Mr. Baker:

``Tell me if i am wrong!,You dont think divorce rate even in your church attending Catholics is

upward of 50% in 2years increasing each years they remain married after that.Now i am not

honor killing supporter but childrens have right too who are not even players in this descision.

___________________

If this passage was a question or concern then I am trying my best to comprehend.

I understand that you are bringing out the harsh decisions that couples make and the bad effects of those on their children. I am lost and will request to know the reference to the context for the above argument. Unless you intended a general question.

``What else is my myth,every statistics or personal experience living, studying ,working teaching,

playing ,socializing,& providing a shoulder to cry on for quite a few men & women.I am not

some moulana in Rawalpindi giving Khutba for friday prayer at million dollar mosque of yours.I

also think somehow people born or immigrated here to day or 200 years ago are ore the best i

have met in all sense BUT I AM TALKING A BOUT DECLINING FAMILY ,DIZZYING PACE,DYING TO BE NO.1,you know the rest!``

_______________________

Mr.Baker: I had a strong urge to add ``y`` after thy name and I resisted it. This was the result of seeing my name used upside down. It is Z.a.h.r.a.!

Coming to the above analysis of yours that is kind of clearer at the end and quite Mushkil Fulsafaa in itself.

a) Declining Family: I read that as not having the same bondage as it used to be before. People are becoming far more self-centered.

b) Dizzying Pace: Life is faster than we can spell f.a.s.t.e.r ? Well, it is adventurous though and lots of fun.

What else should I quote about the fast * *2 pace, I am waiting for a Charter Flight that is part and parcel of the dress rehearsal plan of my project`s implemention. And I am up alert and sitting at work to make sure that the flight gets out of all the downpours, thunderstorms, Kali Ghatain, Toofan, and finally lands safely. Well, Ok, it is wee hour but it is fun. If that is dizzying pace ? Then let it be :-)

c)Dying to be #1: Meaning being competitive? Well, one can improve oneself by going from level #1 to level # 2. That is personal improvement. Now if one wants to be the best then that is different that is going to the level # 2(based on personal enhancement)and also making sure that one does better than the others i.e XYZ, WAD, TGY etc. That is a different thing.

Teekh!

Take Care

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