My Ode to Rishtay

Re: amber (reply#41)

``you need not start a hubby hunt everytime you meet a guy, because if the chemistry theory is right, you`ll soon find someone who with all his flaws is the best for you.``

So are you saying that having a `chemistry` with someone makes a person blind like falling in love with someone the first time?!?

I always wonder if the `chemistry` is an intangible feeling or tangible?? We all in western society are so wrapped up in having a ``chemistry`` with the person who we want to spend our life with and most of us still end up in a bad marriage or feel stuck in a relationship. Then why do I find that a couple from east has more `chemistry`, respect, and tolerance for each other than a couple from west.

Re: amber (reply#41)

``you need not start a hubby hunt everytime you meet a guy, because if the chemistry theory is right, you`ll soon find someone who with all his flaws is the best for you.``

So are you saying that having a `chemistry` with someone makes a person blind like falling in love with someone the first time?!?

I always wonder if the `chemistry` is an intangible feeling or tangible?? We all in western society are so wrapped up in having a ``chemistry`` with the person who we want to spend our life with and most of us still end up in a bad marriage or feel stuck in a relationship. Then why do I find that a couple from east has more `chemistry`, respect, and tolerance for each other than a couple from west.

re:amber

well said amber,exactly my point in my previous post....

want to add more thing though....

all said and done, its just a matter of clicking with the other person....

sometimes even if u spend a lifetime with some one..u cant really know the reality..some ppl put on brilliant disguises and sometimes it just takes few mins to know that yes:)!!!!!!

Fozia: Its not that I disagreed with your friendship leads to Romance theory, but what really got my goat was the tone in which you referred to the `dating culture` of the West, a sort of condesending tone which obviously led me and others to make an inference about your disapproval.

regards,

Omar

As for the infidel aunties (with wide bases) who want to perptuate an unIslamic custom of strange men and women co mingling strange mard and aurath. They do it for their own voyeur like pleasure and gossipy nature. Imagine two aunties with a watchful eye on the ``Islamic`` get togethers :

Auntie#1:Zulaikha begum so I told that karanti farangi white woman, she have to convert to Islam before she can come to our meeting, hanh!

#2:Saheeh ji, I told the same thing to that hindu boy in so many words: go find your own community`s pimping service... no?

#1[ distracted by someone] :``Aray, aray look dekho dekho! at that kala kaloota bangali boy trying to get near our beauti-uti-uti- ful Amina...

#2: Hai, Allah maaf karay these boy witht their hormones, how many times should I tell him... in how many clear and unclear ways? haaiii!

#3: Look begum I know Amina taking too much interest in this boy too, I dont like that- he not even a dactar, na! Aray I promise her mother that I find her a fair, Syed boy from a good Urdu-Sapeaking family, na! how will I show my blackened face now, na?

You like this atmosphere by these aunties, I ask ? first they allow hindu, white and bangali into Pakistani woman - whatever happened to purity of race and pure blood? That is why I dont like Umrika- here every yellow with black, black with white until no difference and all confusion. So parting advice: dont be confused, fuse with maa news (Islamic ofcourse, na).

Reading a couple of comments on the article written by Arshiya Khan, I feel

like adding the followingsome points here:

a) ``Ode to Rishtay`` seemed like a post where the writer has tried to narrate

her experiences in a polite fashion. She is a little unsure whether she

should say it all or not but then she musters up courage and cares to share

her experiences.

b) Comparing it to KAkhtar`s piece will be comparing apples with oranges.

The intent was the same but the articles had two different phases and

experiences the authors went through.

c) AKhan has also tried to depict a picture of how the meetings take place

in the supervised manner and the kind of jerks/polite fellows/useless

characters on the face of earth one can come across. I can relate to some of

those episodes and I 100% agree with the lady.

d) AKHan has also shown the innocence factor here. Yes, in today`s day and

age many are devoid of that. For most of the kids are damn precocious.

Excuse me, if I sound harsh here. But the teenagers as well as the kids are

no longer acting their age. I do not want to sound as if I am in favor of

naive attitude. But there is always a first time to hold a conversation with

a stranger and break the ice. One may mumble, stumble, grumble....But the

R-2 case must have given AKhan quite a bit of confidence and she could

interrogate the fellow on her own. I do not know if that is what happened

here but I feel that is how the sequence of steps flows.

e) I think the woman deserves a pat on her back for writing a true portrayal

of events than using nonsense to make a normal scenario spicy. Probably

reading a lot of nonsense in the air and on Chowk as well, folks have lost

the sense to determine ``All that glitters in not gold`` Sometime, a person

can just express her/his simple and plain thoughts without adding color to

it. After all it is not only to educate the readers but also to share ones

experiences and they can be colorful, bright, gloomy, colorless. Hey, she is

just sharing her experiences why start comparing her with XYZ.

Note: To Arshiya :-)

There is something about writing that I have discovered. I may be sitting on

cloud 9 after writing my piece, Oh, what a relief that I could take it off

of my chest and share it and see it on the paper/on screen in black and

white but it is not necessary that the readers who read that are on the same

wavelength or read me as informational than sarcastic. I hope you kept that

in mind before writing the piece.

Note 2: I am sure you must have read the concerned voices who have not liked

the way R1-R7 were described. :-)( *_ *)Human Nature!

Regards

Re: Solitude

I have no time for out of whack responses to my comments.

Re: Digit and Asma,

Thanks!

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

I agree with digit!!!

What the hell is the problem with solitude? Though, kind of amusing, how does your ranting relate to anything that Fozia said?

Having a bad day or something....?

Re:Omar

I never said anything about ``banishing`` romance. Please don`t be so quick to conclude without reading my comment completely.

Let me requote what I wrote in #25:

``I agree with you, interestingly even in the ``dating`` culture of the West, many people have said that the best relationships are those that started out as friends first.

It gives time for the first impression effects to wear off and then to get to know the person without being clouded by the ``romantic`` aspect.:)``

Notice I mention best relationships are those that started out as friends first. Relationships by definition are ``romantic`` (at least I should hope so :) ) while being ``friends`` is not romantic.

My point was that if a couple transitions from being friends to a relationship than they have a much greater level of understanding with each other than might have happened otherwise. I.e people are too busy being ``romantic`` than taking the time to get to know what really makes that person click.

Now there are still many happy couples out there who didn`t go from friends to relationship, but ``ideally`` I think this is the best method.

Regards,

Fozia

arshiya,

after reading this article i got the feeling that you have a sly wit but for some reason use it with great restraint. i also started wondering why an intelligent woman like you would agree to go along with this charade of meeting potential rishtas, especially since in your experience it hasn`t worked. i`m glad that kamran akhtars work moved you to write, but why try to copy him? the assesment of characters was too `clever`by half. good luck, keep writing and let some of those dark thoughts out on paper instead of keeping them behind the pixie cut and editing them out of your articles.

shandana

Fozia, you`ll never have anyone write a love poem for you (Yeah how many HUS-Bands write love poetry to their wives, huh?). See you`ve even eliminated the simple joys of life from your contemplated barren existence. Sad. You banish romance from life without even knowing what it really is. tragic.

Omar

Solitude:

Pipe-down you atheistic f *uck.

I have no idea how your rant was related to Fozia`s remark.

Is vonder any that ve kill people like dis in Eehst?

``interestingly even in the ``dating`` culture of the West, many people have said that the best relationships are those that started out as friends first. ``- Fozia

Yass, yass fozia beti you must know a lot about the ``dating culture of the West``, right? Fozia:``Oh sarry, I hearing from people talking and talking about relationships ya know``. Yass, yass I say that is such a original observation from someone from duh east I presume? or is it duh north? The Lord is neither of duh east or the west (just of Arabia really where we MUST face wah wah subhanallah!) so dearest sister in Islam fire away fatwas at will . Our culture of duh east is best and perfect and complete- you have purdah (veil) and segregation of sexes for good reason: so that men and women do not have sex (sex and marriage) unless relieved by an elderly and wise local cleric`s recitation of the Noble Quran (that keeps us from going astray and getting zits and cancer: Allah subhanawatalah created cancer for this very reason! to dam-n those fag-goats).

``to get to know the person without being clouded by the ``romantic`` aspect.`` - Fozia Masha Allah sister in Islam you have hit the head on the nail (Made in Pakistan too) ! All these western immoral men wear nice, smooth suits and put glitter in hair (sooo shiny hair that I think I look at Allah`s image(jhalak) on Jable-Toor!) talk about flowers and romance & music & dancing & poetry & theatre & caviar (phood, yaar!) to trap our beauti-uti-uti ful! veil clad woe-man! Romance is creation of devil and infidels of the West. May Allah guide and preserve the cookie of all our women so that they marry forever& ever& ever& ever the nice starched shalwar-kurta wearing- punjabi sapeaking- niswar choosing, pan-sucking, Quran reciting, long beard wearing (oway so sexy like hair down there! *wink * *wink *) deodrant-free MARD (man) of duh east! ballay bllay! with hairy hairy back and breasts& hairy hairy hands & neck! like Bhaloo or cuddly cuddly bear! Sometimes they come with big moustache too like zardari...

In Response to Reply Numbers 25 and 27.

It may seem difficult to turn a friendship into a romantic relationship, but things look different when you`re trying to turn a friendship (and I mean a real one not based on physical attraction) into a marriage. Besides, I don`t think anybody should really try that hard to begin with, let the friendship develop into whatever it pleases avoiding heavy handed attempts to engineer a prepared outcome. If you are being yourself (the first sign of an authentic friendship) you`re natural charisma will do all the work.

ummmm......well after reading the article, I agree with what studbaker says....it certainly was disappointing!

But I must confess the replies were interesting and some very insightful and perhaps one of the main attractions for me on Chowk is the replies,some of which are even better than some articles........

ummmm...I wonder why ppl praise so much some the stuff that lacks substance and is plain mockery! sigh!Just getting something published/printed doesnt mean u have have to praise and admire no matter what!!! No i dont mean to sound like a person who criticizes all...but we do need some thing better....

however considering it was writer`s first writeup and an inspired one...i m looking forward for the second and an original one!!

no offence arshia, but u did sound vain!!!!!

ps:

feel its high time u come down from ``arsh`` to ``farsh`` where we all are...not everybody is perfect and gals are no exception...