My Ode to Rishtay

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I really liked it. And, (no offense to Kamran) I enjoyed it more than lavishly citrus. I could see the characters that you met... very clearly, and distinct of one another. The subtle humor that emerges from the balancing act between what your

``Ummy`` says, what`s expected, and you... very well done.

Congrats on your first writing experience. Hope your others are just as successful.

-Uzma

Arshia bibi:

Welcome to the Chowk! Must warn you to beware of the fallout. Do not be discouraged. Having said that............

Restrained. Too restrained. Somehow the element of spontaneity was missing. Perhaps you should have used a pseudonym and let the real feelings come out. Hope you do not mind. Keep writing.

regards

Hey, as a happily married desi guy, might I just add that while men may start off as pigs they do eventually evolve into higher life forms capable of conversing with -- and even entertaining -- women. The problem is that we desi men have no practice in actually talking to ``women`` (excluding sisters, mothers etc) and we are not taught how to by our popular culture (so when did you see Amitabh Bachan ever having a soulful discussion?). The point is -- give people time to evolve. Otherwise, best of luck in your search for the perfect rishta.

``In credit all the above-mentioned men, I have to say that it`s been a learning experience. I would not be a step closer to figuring out what I`m looking for if it weren`t for them. So, perhaps, I should be thanking them for giving me the opportunity to meet them and know that they weren`t right for, and I for them.``

AK:

I feel the above passage was very appropriate analysis. And just to assure you that is quite common with all. Some realize that and are well aware of what is right for them whereas some never learn.

Take Care

Arisha: Shouldn`t the title have been `desi men r absolute village idiots`? But we all know this already, thanks to similar expositions, not to discourage anyone from narrating theirs in a humerous vein. Do you think its because we are desis, or because we are men, or is it the combo? Whats your thesis statement on that? But you know what, somehow, womyn manage to put up with us ... don`t ask me to explain why or how. Go figure.

Better luck next time in the bakra mandi. But even if bakris do get the final yes or no, the final outcome is still the same! Don`t mean to depress ya or anything, just an observation. An amusing piece overall, but the topic virtually guaranteed that.

regards,

Omar

arshiya:

much better than `lavishly citrus`. i dont think you can call it a learning experience. because i think most of us know what is going on out there. i personally don`t think there is anything wrong for either sex to find equivalent.

but just a reminder (if u know urdu or hindi !)

har kisi ko mukamal jahan nahin milta

kahin zameen to kahin aasman nahin milta

An interesting piece of writing. A good topic for the education of both parents and children, particularly in foreign (not to many young men and women) countries. Parents and children are living in two different worlds. They need to come close to each other. Arshiya Khan: Why didn`t you write more about the feelings and reactions of your parents?

Good luck, Bilal Ahmad

Ms. Khan,

A very entertaining article!.

``The young man arrived in snuggly fit black jeans and an even snugger red T-shirt, with sleeves neatly rolled up. The only thing he was missing was a pack of cigarettes in the rolls of his sleeves... He told jokes and sher in a level of Urdu that was beyond me``.

The above really cracked me up. I actually know of a similar character in real life.

temporal: I don NOT agree with your opinion. I don`t believe the writer was hiding anything.

Excellent article. Empathized with you and your rishta-ites (R1 through R8) all the way. Maybe you should put your picture on Chowk. The one with the long hair.

Funny! Really enjoyed it, many girls would be able to relate to at least one or two of those ``rishtay``.

I don`t think Rubina and Kamran was a simple case, it was a rather neurotic one, and utterly out of wack with reality.... Yours recollections on ``rishtay`` are more believable.

Regards,

Fozia

Like you, I am an aspiring writer and am pleased to say that, in my untrained eye, your essay stood out as remarkably funny yet delightfully unrefined. I feel that writing need not use lofty language and English jingoism to be good. You prove once again that the writings near and dear our heart can only be the ones that we can readily understand and clearly realte to. Your writng does both most beautifully. My hearty congratulations on your first writing.

PS- Read some Amit Chaudhury. I think you will like it.

Arshiya, that was a great article, certainly brightened up my morning. Your descriptions of the rishtas are very vivid and I can almost picture the different scenarios. I particularly liked the one about the sexist lawyer, I loved your response.

I like your wit, I like the way you write, it`s not pretentious.

Studebaker, must you be a tightass at all times? Not every article or posting needs to be taked so seriously. We have noted your displeasure and frankly don`t give a rat`s left nut. So sit down, have a coke, and chill out.

Funny, but, interesting how desi men always seem to be the butt of these ``rishtay`` stories. It would be nice see some articles from the other viewpoint. Any horror stories about guys being dragged around to see overdressed and overmade up girls ?? Anyone ??

I would write some, but I`m pretty bad at faking this stuff, and plus (thankfully) I`ve not yet gone through that ``rishta`` spin cycle.

Wow, amazingly all the men were portrayed as pretty desperate and rishta needy. Here is for the men :) (M: Man , DF: Desan Female)

M : So you wanna get married, hunh ?

DF: I don`t know my mom just invited you without my permission.

M: Ohhh, so I am sitting here in front of the helpless little desan who is being coerced into humiliating men so that she can get a little self-esteem and then boast about it later in front of friends [impersonating desan accent] ``ohh, I am sooo wanted yaar, men just show up on my doorstep to ask for my hand... `` [To Mom in kitchen] thanks a lot for wasting my f_cking time!

[leaves]

--

M: So why are you dying to get married?

DF : I dont know [ s-uc-ks on her dupatta]

M: Is it because all your friends are getting married and you personally are getting hysterics from lack of sex-ual stimuli ?

DF: Maybe ...

M: Is it because you are running out of eggs and are afraid you will not be able to realize your one true function as a baby factory?

Df: Ok...

M: Or could it be that you just want to sit on your arse all day and batten the hard earned money of your ``tyrranical``-FOB huzband so that you may go on to scribble about being an ``aspiring writer`` & the torments of arranged marriage?

DF: [crying] mommy ...

--

M: Don`t you feel you would be better off flirting with your nearest cousin or pedophile uncle instead of fielding strangers? After all you have titillated them with sexual possibility for years- why not do good and release some of their frustration for a change so that they dont have to go to their respective mommies begging for a woman after over 30 years of hard labor in a foreign land ... ?

DF: Well, someone has to get the entertainment from nervous, clueless, sexually starved men who think marriage is the only path out of a torturous solitude... besides I intend to finally accept one offer or the other a lot of you dolts bother to go to good schools to study so that you can pay for our children (of dubious fatherhood) our servitlity and our bad cooking :)

funny article, good work, looking forward to reading more of your work on Chowk.com