How I Spent Eid

And the fact that ISLAM never had nor will have a clergy says something about its TRUE NATURE !!!!

TO SOLITUDE ...

It is not the question of interpretting Islam.

You either very limited grasp of knowledge about Islam

First of all ... as far as racist ideology is concerned ....

Have you read about the Bilal Habshi ?????

Have you read about the coutless slaves in Islam who became rulers later on????

You have without any concrete evidence charged Muslims with introducing slavery in Europe ....

it existed in SPAIN MUCH BEFORE THAT ....

Roderick`s treatment of the Jews ????

ROMAN INVASION OF SPAIN??????800 YEARS BEFORE ISLAM???? HOW CAN YOU MAKE SUCH a ridiculously innaccurate and false statement ... based on no historical knowledge whatsoever???????????

Atleast do some research?????? PLEASE.... before making such generalizations????????

Muslims were seen as the SAVIOUrs of Jews and other minority faiths in Spain ....read some neutral authors ..... READ JOHN L ESPOSITO ....

Read Watt ... FOR GOD SAKES ... READ SOME BOOKS ...SIDELINING THE FACT THAT SLAVERY IN ISLAM HAD A DIFFERENT CONNOTATION AND THAT IT WAS NEVER ENCOURAGED BT TOLERATED AS AN EVIL WHICH WILL SLOWLY SUBSIDE ......... A slave in ISLAM had to be treated equally atleast inside the Islamic tradition.

You have destroyed HISTORY

and made judgements without any merits......

DID YOU KNOW THAT DURING THE CRUSADES ... THE ORTHODOX CHRISTIANS AND JEWS ACTUALLY SIDED WITH THE MUSLIMS AGAINST LATIN CHRISTIANITY ... FOR THEY HAD VIEWED MUSLIM RULE AS MUCH MORE TOLERANT .....

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE ABBASSIDS AND THE OTTOMANS IN RELATIVE COMPARISONS GO DOWN AS THE MOST TOLERANT OF ALL EMPIRES ?????????

I DONT WANT TO ARGUE WITH YOU MY FRIEND ... YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO YOUR OWN OPINION BUT PLEASE FOR GOD SAKES GO AND READ ABOUT ISLAM FIRST AND THEN MAKE AN OPINION .....

IT IS EASY TO TAKE THE EXAMPLE OF TALIBAN OR SOMEONE AND CONDEMN ISLAM .........

WHAT IS HARD TO DO IS TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHETHER THEY REALLY ARE ACTUALLY IMPLEMENTING ISLAM THE WAY IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IMPLEMENTED ..........

AS MANY HISTORIANS SAY ... EACH IDEOLOGY SHOULD BE JUDGES ACCORDING TO THE WARTS OF TIME .... NAME ONE RELIGION OR IDEOLOGY BEFORE THE DEVELOPMENT OF MODERN SENSIBILITIES THAT IS MORE TOLERANT THAN ISLAM .... AND NOW THAT THERE MIGHT BE SOME CHALLENGES THATS WHEN WE BRING IN A REINTERPRETTATION OF THE SAME ISLAMIC LAW ... AND IT HAS LEGAL MANIFESTATIONS ....

USUL UL FIQH IS A TIME DEPENDANT PHENOMENON ...

??? HAVE YOU BOTHERED TO READ ABOUT USUL UL FIQH ..... the whole legal system and science that Muslims have used over centuries and now neglected which has led to our present day condition and totally fanatic groups like Taliban who are nothing more than a PENDULUM EFFECT ?????????

I AM DISGUSTED BY THE Charges that you made because most of them are totally baseless ....

I hope that you go and read before making such obnoxious declarations!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE ABSTAIN FROM MAKING STRAWMAN FALLACIES ... BECAUSE YOU ONLY ARE RUINING THE NAME OF YOUR OWN PEOPLE ......

Solitude (prefer solitude to shiraz)

I found your account hilarious (sarcastic or otherwise)... it held my interest till the end (that is a big complement since my attn span is less then 15 sec) I was interested in seeing how the evening would end.. would have been happier for you had your evening ended with some pakistani girl ravishing your body like you soo badly crave.......

I almost ended up going to this party but opted for a more personal evening ...after reading your article and some of the comments I cannot make up my mind whether I should be relieved at not going or regret the fact that I missed the sight of a sexy body in Armani!!!!

Anyways, your account of encounters (or lack thereof)with hip gyrating gharara walis was amusing ...and like you said your self keep Islam out of it. I can`t understand how the discussion here turned to Islam etc...sheesh how did everyone get started on racism and black aramani....becomess black american becomes black veil and throw in some taliban and the name of the Holy prophet (pbuh)...it seems like another attempt by all to outwit the other and display what they assume to be a rare insight into God knows what, that only their profound declarations and exclamations are testimony to their superior neuronal pathways....Ok Ok all those topics are earth shatteringly important and deserve to be discussed and brought out into the open...but that has been done (and will be done) on almost all articles on chowk.....I don`t get the relevance here.....the poor guy (oops more ``taras`` from a paki female) just wrote about how he spent an evening and his observations.....can we leave it at that without waging jihad on all and waging counter jihad on all who wage jihad......

Will look forward to reading more of your stuff...if it has some of the wit and outrageous sentiments that your posts had :)

Nushmia

Re: http://rd4.lhric.org/writings/thanksgiving.html

Solitude,

I REALLY ENJOYED reading this! 4 Stars to your sense of irony & humour! (g)

We Must hang out sometime in NYC over the summer ... i can always use a new friend. E-mail me at Laptop00@aol.com whenever.

Aside from a little proofing, i don`t see why Chowk couldn`t publish this? We need MORE SUCH Amusing Fare!

regards,

Omar

A bold piece i must say,though written in a crude manner. anyways,it made good reading..especially coming from an ABCD(American Born Confused Desi).

regards,

Malik.

From TFT

``Barakati in trouble

Daily Pakistan, reported that Maulana Ghulam Muhammad Barakati had insulted the Holy Prophet PBUH. A number of citizens in Gujranwala alleged that Barakati had said `strange unworthy things` about the Prophet PBUH in his speeches and therefore deserved death under law. He was also accused of being a RAW agent since only RAW could persuade a Pakistani to do such a foul deed.``



I think Shiraz is also a RAW agent. Only RAW could persuade a Pakistani to do such a foul deed or writing something funny about EID.

This piece was meant for my family members who badgered me with ``so what did you do over eid? so what are you doing now? so what will you do tomorrow?`` I barely expected it to be published leave alone admired by people. So I am very pleasantly surprised and pleased. I have noticed that when I write with the least fore thought (just write write and write) I write quite comprehnsibly.

Hmmmm...don`t know what to say. Couldn`t finish the whole piece...was bored out of my mind halfway through! I thought the piece was over sarcastic and quite rough on the edges.

#29 (Mannyd): MalMal Is Muslin?

Didn`t know that. Not too good at the fabric to fabric translation but velvet rhymed with veil (which is not really a dupatta but I dont care).

# 26(zaynab): Sorry, I make a lot of unintentional mistakes - and I am often misunderstood too for e.g. somehow no matter how much I express my love for women I am perceived as ``sexist`` (by atleast one woman a year) or ``gay`` (by atleast 15000 men a day.

(I am like the prison warden now, calling everyone by their serial numbers)

# 40 (cherroo): or shall I say the chest-gyrating-femme-gharara-fatale (don`t think I didn`t notice you hon) how do you know we are talking about the same tall-gharara wali ? there were others (i dont remember what they were wearing - I mean who cares ? its coming off anyways)

Its possible that I could be talking about someone who was ogling me and yet was unattached. What made you think of the one with the fiancee?

If you were trying to dash my hopes (then pardon me for thinking ``badly`` or expecting ``immoral thoughts`` out of a Muslim woman) and rest assured they have been dashed a long time ago. I do not expect anything but a repressively chaste attitude from Muslim women. That is one of the reasons why I find little beauty in them. But they could be beautiful. If I do not amount to anything in my life - I will not mind that IF I can just be the siren that draws a woman towards promiscuity, strength, independance and sexual liberation. It does not mean I am on a crusade to promiscui-fy the Muslim women. I would much rather (and already do) give love to the women who are easy. I am sorry I even mentioned Islam. I am a writer not a theologian. I have provided sources for way too many people for years. I am done with that. I don`t want any more trouble or attacks or arguments. I am foremost a writer who does not want to alienate his readership or his body from his (non existant) soul.

# 7 & # 39 (Satyavadi): ``The girls wont be nearly as good as the Pakistani ones,`` -

Are Indian women ``horny`` ? are they affectionate? I do not care what they look like , what they smell like (I am gifted with an impaired sense of smell and a very muscular tongue) as long as they ``easy friends``. A society`s progress is measured by the love that circulates around. The more easy the women are in a society the more it will progress in comparison to its puritanical neighbours- the stronger that society would be ; for I would lay my life down for the one(s) who love(s) me but never for some deity , some country, some religion (not anymore).

# 36: Want to read about the wonderful people in Chicago ? http://rd4.lhric.org/writings/thanksgiving.html

#16(tahmed321): ``Now go write that book you have inside you. `` Yes sir, whatever you say sir! But pardon me Sir, if I say so Sir, that it will certainly not be under my real name. I heard Rushdie is coming to NYC (for the one he loves)

#15 (Omar1974): ``What I fail to understand is why you didn`t show up drunk`` I did that once (at some function) and the same guy who called me gay overtly turned his nose up in contempt as though I was suffering from some disease (actually it helps me loosen up and become less uptight and I talk to people much more easily) - another guy just stopped talking to me & walked away the moment he realized that the drink in my hand was not just cranberry juice.

# 10 (zehra): ``isnt this your second chowk piece shiraz saab?`` wow somebody who actually read my first piece? most of my stuff is incomprehensible. You must love me if you actually sat through that story.

# 7(satya): ``I do not belong to any Muslim students` association and am not a Muslim, so hopefully the Abbaas, wont stone me `` - My dear friend I have some bad news - the Bhais and Abbaas of our communities are quite protective. They are ever ready to kill and mutilate if someone dares to look at their sisters (I was like that and actually have a broken nose out of it). They forget that their mothers and sisters need love too- and that they can make their own mind and that their are men (just like them) who need the love of their mothers and sisters.

#: 5 (jazba): write about it ... that is usually the best revenge.

#4: (dawood) Actually the ``taras khao`` part is not hard to invoke out of a Pakistani girl. They are always looking for pets. I just get down on my knees and beg - the hard part is getting their love and affection (not out of ``oh bechara let him taste me a bit`` kind of charity) but out of a real carnal, sexual desire for my body (and buttocks) and my arms and my eyes, and my tongue and ... I love it when women use me for my body and my looks (wish that happened more often) but instead the good ole Muslim woman always goes ``aaanh I like that you are a smarty pants ... heehee and that you make me laugh ...`` I mean there are thousands of men who are smarter than me and funnier than me but there is NO ONE who has a body like I do (thanks to my genes and the ``accidental`` death of my twin brother [ *evil grin *]) I love it when complet strangers just come up and grab my behind - or my arms or my ...

I notice one thing in my fellow Muslims (for which I love them) they would rather blame themselves (or the interpretors) rather than question Islam (the ideaology that engenders and cultivates and brainwashes them ; that encourages their violent, misogynistic, racist behaviour)

They would rather blame and kill each other (for interpreting Islam ``wrong``) than question the words that create such an attitude.

You blame pornography for a rapist`s actions (``brother if women wear little cloths then they asking for rapist to attack them! Brother watching porn will make you rapist! it excite and frustrate you to become rapist!``) but you do not blame Islam-ography for the actions of assassins, Taliban, Mullahs, Terrorists, child molestors, mass murderers, slave-traders (did you know the Muslims of Spain introduced slavery into Europe?) - you instead say (``brother it is not fault of Quran it is all Saddam`s fault``)

On the flip side of the coin you do not applaud the individual effort of scientists (who were accidentally born Muslims) who happen to be Muslims and associate it with Islam. You give Islam the credit for the discoveries (inventions)of alcoholics and womanizers and zindiqs (apostates) ``oh Islam was so great brother because of following it we were in golden y-age! we ruled world and discovered khimyat, bia-low-ji- Islam great and good good``. You ignore that the best and greatest of all Muslim scientists were persecuted by Islamists and clerics and the scientists themselves were barely practising Muslims. If you want to read more on this read Hoodhbhoy`s works Why The Scientific Revolution Never Happened in Islam http://www.chowk.com/bin/showa.cgi?hoodbhoy_dec2397

And his works on Muslim Scientists.

As far as assassination of Poets go to :

http://www.answering-islam.org/Muhammad/Enemies/

under Asma Bint Marwan and Abu Afak. Read also : http://rd4.lhric.org/writings/poetry.html

zaynab:#26

Do you know that Shiraz & Solitude are the same person? That is all I tried to point out.Please do not take him so seriously.Read my post again.He is a very good muslim but has become a mulamtee .Such kinds try to reach the TRUTH by self-deprecating themselves no end but never abandoning the roost.Islamic literature is rife with such examples.I love this guy.He is kind of the Desi version of Robin Williams--motor-mouths, caring-creatures.

Otherwise:

Jis ko ho deen o dil azzeez uss ki gulli mein jayee kyun.

(if one is so worried about losing ones faith then why should he even venture near)(``the event``)

He seems to me the most confused Desi but who has turned this confusion into an omellete.This is an omellete of inhereted theology and acquired.ID.syndrome(ID=identity ;)] and is now kind of wondering how to be `Staying Alive` five times a day on a mussala while at the same time peeking sideways if a gharara is sashaying(shuffling ?).

zehra:Try to rein him in ;).

wassalaam

To Shiraz... #37

Though addressed to some one else, it was a great read. Specially that thing about brushing whatever with the ghararas:)

Some sense of humor you have.

Wish I was as bold as you are.. But then thee is a consolation ..bold ho kar bhi tumne kounse gul khila liye ab tak.. :)

btw, i repeat my unsolicited advice. try an indian function. i know indian girls have something special for paki guys, god knows why.

Cheers!

Satyavadi

``I rush into the soothing arms of alcohol`` - Also if any of you think I am an alcoholic (glugluglugluglug --- aaaah) ... then KnOw ThIs ( *hick *) ... i Am Sooooo NoooT ( *hick *) an Alcoholic. JuSt SeTtInG ( *hick *) the uhhh ReCoRd Str8 .....

cherroo, thanks for reminding me about my moves on the dance floor [ *grimace *] I am more into Tango and Salsa and Swing (ballroom stuff) but am completely lost in the freestyle world of disco dancing. All ISLAMIC holidays SHOULD be devoid of all intellectual, artistic and ``ungodly`` talks. Intellectual because Islam scorns upone anything that is outside the Quran as a source of Knowledge (for everything is complete and perfect within that book) - Artistic because Islam scorns upon music (``instruments of satan``, ``Excites``) it derides paintings (``living beings`` in particular) it forbids sculpture (``idolatory``) and threatens writers (the orders by the prophet to assassinate poets, authors , critics and their subsequent execution) And ofcourse Islamic functions should not have ``ungodly`` talks (for obvious reasons). I will be happier if these functions were morbid (``we will all die tomorrow brothers! the fire of hell is waiting to eat us for our sins! life is short and its a test so pray! and donate to the Jihad in Algeria, Turkey, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Saudi Arab, Lebanon, Turkmenistan, Philipines, USA ...`` ) and boring (``now we will narrate the story of Abu Bakar which you have heard 150000 times before but it doesnt hurt to hear it again``) Art, music, intellectual and ungodly things should be reserved for the INDEPENDANCE DAY of a SECULAR Pakistan. We should find those days more enjoyable than any Arabic festival. As for art, book readings and ghazals being ``tacky`` - I will have look up what ``tacky`` means - but I enjoyed them (really) not to mention brushing up against your ``gharara`` (was my intention all along). Lastly it was Emporio Armani (none of that Exchange stuff) that v-neck alone was over $300 :) So which one of the ``ghararas`` were you ? the chest-gyrating one? or the hip-gyrating gharara? or were you the ``I-am-dancing-even-though-it-looks-like-I-am-standing-still`` ghararas? wait ! could you be that tall gharara with the face of Nazia Hassan who kept staring in me humble direction ? oh that will restore my faith in every diety if it were true. I am sorry I could not talk or engage you in anything- as I said I had a very tangible fear of committing some religious, cultural faux pas (which in Islamic cultures is ``talking to a non mahram`` of the opposite sex) Now you might say the function was rather ``modern`` to be so uptight or Islamic- and I will agree but still I hate being stared at (by men who think I am going to sleep with the first woman I talk to) and I hate being different(from the other men who seemed to be dancing with themselves) Atleast I was dancing ``close`` to where the girls were ... let me have that much atleast ... atleast i made an effort to get out of the ``bhangra`` group of men ...

Re: Zaynab#23

Zaynab,

You are absolutely right about the wonderful qualities of African people.. And yes, they were one of the earliest people who joined Mohammd`s Islamic movement. However, when you say that most desis are racists or that they don`t have a clue about Islam, you are generalizing..Perhaps you didn`t like solitude`s sarcasm at the expense of Africans, but two wrongs don`t make a right...Also, I don`t understand why you keep referring to Africans as ``blacks``....desis are black too....I am black..if you have south Asian descent then you are black too...

Take care,

Cheers,

Fairdinkum

Solitude,

I think you misunderstood, i didn`t actually mean to Yell at u like some school boy,(grin) so don`t be offended. I love your article, and your reply #52 on `Pakistan in the Year 3000` especially, with which i am in total agreement. (Go take a look)

``But Shiraz there are Mullahs who are good and I like them``

Frankly, i have not yet met a Mullah I liked. All i`ve ever recieved at the hands of Mullahs has been child abuse, thankfully, only physical (since i wasn`t enrolled in a madressah), and a closeup view of their ignorance, sloth and stupidity. My own childhood experience with Mullahs, atypical of other people`s i`m sure, has only succeeded in instilling in me an utter contempt, hatred and ridicule for them, and their methods. Mullahs know nothing about real Islam and neither do the Taliban who have given it a bad name. Wahabbi extremism is not the only brand of legit Islam, and i have a feeling this is the foreign, alien brand, Taliban-lovers such as FARANGI KUSH want to impose on Pakistan, rather than the Sufi mysticism or Whirling Dervish brand which are much more accomodating of the human spirit, and require no state enforcement. I`ve seen the repressed and intolerent Saudis up close as well (both in the U.S & in S.Arabia and what a contrast in their actions!), and have little but contempt for them and their holier than thou attitudes of superiority towards others.

In fact, Institutionalized religion stultifies the human spirit, and stagnates, just as Islamic thought over the past 1000 years has done. Therefore, Secularism, the seperation of the Spiritual from the Temporal, offers the best solution for Muslims to progress, in my view. Mass religion degenerates to a lowest common denominator approach, substituting orthopraxy for spirituality that can enrich people`s personal lives. We need no fatwa (legal Opinion) to celebrate Basant!

regards,

OMAR MIRZA

Ylh,

it wasn`t a personal thing, i just had a point of view about your poetry that differed, it doesn`t mean i differ with EVERYTHING ELSE you might have a view on ... nor was the fob remark honestly meant to be insulting in any way, it was just an observation. What i question is the motivation behind your writing the poem ... it just seemed odd of all things you could write, given your fob status, to be worrying about the social problems of a society in which you are an Alien.

Nor am/was i telling you WHAT to write, as you seemed to think.



regards,

O.M