How I Spent Eid

Shiraz,
I can just relate so much to your articles. Would like to get in touch with you... where you at?
sobia

I present you with facts and then you use STRAWMAN FALLACY ... WHY DONT YOU READ FIRST ... READ WHAT I WROTE ....

FOR GOD SAKES READ WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN

NO WHERE ISLAM EMBODIES VIOLENCE .... OR INJUSTICE AND AS A MATTER OF FACT IT IS THE OPPOSITE ..

READ WHAT I WROTE BEFORE ....

instead of taking out quotes from my replies JUST READ FOR ONCE ...

``I hate these fanatic also - BUT I AM NOT SAYING THEY MISREPRESENT ISLAM - THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ISLAM``

Dearest ylh, your efforts to re convert me in a limited chowk forum were very effective. I have now converted and have seen the light and have embraced Islam with regret for all the ``bad and darty`` things I have done.

I did not leave Islam because of clerics butt- knocking little boys - nor did I leave this community because the people were bad. I think Pakistanis and Muslims are good because they are human beings BUT it is the religion that makes violent/ primitive men out of us (like the taliban, the clerics and the Maulvis that you hate so much ). My argument is not with the people but with the IDEAS emobodied in Islam. To you it symbolizes everything good being the ``I listen and obey`` (sameyna wa ataana) kind of slave of Allah that you are (abdullah- god`s favorite name). But I was personally miserable.

I saw no reason to stick with something that was the source of misery for me and a lot of my fellow human beings.

``And I think you are too easy a target for salesmen!! :)...and you must be every saleswoman`s dream come true ..:))``

I dont think so. I mean so what if the saleswomen keep on calling me trying to set up appointments with me ( I mean appointments to look at cloths). When my friends overheard me setting appointments to look at cloths they were like ``impressed`` - since it was impressive I thought I should mention that. As far as saleswomen`s treament of me goes - they just look at me with their big eyes while standing perfectly still (at most swiveling their hips in one place) and nod to everything I say. I have a very loving relationship with shopping. I have noticed salesWOMEN are more eager to help me SAVE my money and never fail to suggest ways of getting discounts or alternatives ... men on the other hand usually hate me (unless they are gay) ... which is fine by me - so salesMEN being nice is often quite suspicious.

I will be walking down the street and I will wonder ``what is the point of life? what do I do with myself? what do I do with that account of mine that has failed to overdraw this month?`` So I go to broadway in SoHo and shop with an intensity and concentration that diverts attention from the flashing ADs. Does that make me an attention seeker ?

I don`t know but when women smile and are nice to me (like today I was at the cafe and I saw this girl wrapping a wrap thing really neatly and I told her so and she said ``do you want me to wrap you one`` and I was like ``ok ... if you are like dying to wrap me one ...`` meanwhile my heart was thump-thumping and my lunch tray was shaking. And I was feeling all nauseous while this girl kept on giggling and so lusciously wrapped that wrap that I was afraid to eat it. I think that made my day as I sat across from her and she gave me her number (I got a number EVERYONE!) and was so easy ... I hate challenges when it comes to cuddling. I am just trying to feel warm here not ascending mount everest ...

Anyways - regarding this gorgeus but easy chic I was soon having images of her riding my shoulders as I ran through central park preparing for the olympiads. Behind every great man is a great woman - I say ... I want to be great.

Sometimes my mother makes me feel like I can do anything - when she is around but I can only cuddle with her for so long - before my father gets jealous ...

``I would say that you are deliberatly outrageous -to evoke reactions but moreso to see who can stick around , how many will not shy away and take it without batting an eyelid, and of course how many women will not leave exclaiming tauba tauba ``

I need a fire that BURNS through wind and rain. Come to me like the dawn through the dismal night just blazing like the sun. So you maybe partially right. I cannot decide if I am weak or strong. But I would like to be strong. I would like to chew and su_ck and drink every source of love shamelessly. Gawd knows I need it. Yes it is necessary for the way I live that my companions should be able to flaunt all social norms. I have lived an inhibited life too long. I would like to be around people who are positive and who encourage me to do ``bad`` things. I cannot have people who hang out with me and say ``how could you do that?`` . My friends are artistic to the point of being insane - and they feel the same way. We may work in suits and crew cuts because we have to survive in the most expensive city in the world (and ``survive`` we do) considering all of us are disowned bas_tards ...

``If you write to impress women then why are you ashamed to show your work?``

I dont know - that is my one weakness. I am trying to work on that.

``post a picture of yourself in a thong it will be much more appreciated ``

Whats a thong ? what I love wearing is this strange underwear I own -it covers a bit of the sack and then has like a strip going back, which fits snugly into my butt_crack :) I love wearing it because its either that ``strange`` underwear or NOTHING - my mother still scolds me for not wearing any underwear -

``Beta (son) everyone can tell you are not wearing any underwear ...``

``But Mom I am wearing a tux over it ... that is layers of repressive clothing!``

``Betay (son) can you tell when a woman is not wearing a bra?``

``Ammi jan!! how can you talk to me like that? ... well actually yes ... and I think they look very good without any ...``

``Ok enough ... similarly when a young mandoes not wear underwear ... everyone can tell ...``

``I dont think so Ammi Jan, i cannot tell ... how can everyone else``

Also - why would I post my nekkid picture on the net? that sounds like such a crude thing to do. I mean that would be typical of some Lassi-ladling-Paindoo (no offence to any paindoos personally I love their honesty and sincerity and straightforward nature compared to the artificial airs of karachites)

``it the constant ref to your need for sexual gratification and extremely subtle references to your body and manhood``

Aray sun chichoray ladkay ... I dont like it when some dude talks about my ``sac-sual`` this and that and my body this and that and my manhood hanh! :(

SOLITUDE

LISTEN .... I myself am frustrated by these idiot clerics .... because what they represent is ridiculous .... and I too rebelled against Islam but the CLERICS and the Maulvis donot represent Islam ... and I realized this when I tried to understand.... if the Quran talks about rebelliousness of women as in 4 34 ... it also speaks of the rebelliousness of men in 4 128...the whole inference that Arabic word used for clot ... has a feminine Idafa gives us the impression that women are not only equal but higher ... similarly it should be clear that HALF WITNESS thing was in the context of time AND WAS ONLY APPLICABLE TO BUSINESS TRANSACTIONS ... In CRIMINAL matters Women`s testimony has to EQUAL to Man`s .... and the Fiqhs suggesting otherwise are basing it on a common illa which can be easily rejected because the context in which that ayah was revealed was

THAT women didnot get involved in business transactions at the time .... today the verse opens a legal option for a house wife who was not involved in transactions .... and DOES NOT IN ANY WAY SUGGEST THAT WOMAN`S TESTIMONY IS HALF OF MAN ..... The tone is overwhelmingly EQUAL!!!!!!

Now the whole Pedophile issue is concerned ......

Prophet conssumated the marriage when Aysha reached puberty .... and there is no evidence suggesting that Aysha was that young an age .... for Arab bedouins did not keep track of age then especially of women .... AND THIS CANNOT BE DENIED.

Aysha shows a high level of maturity in the Hadith literature and even the feel is not of a girl but a mature young lady ... I suspect that Aysha was more like 12 or 13 when she got married .... (the only reason scholars say that she was six is because she played with dolls)

ALSO IT is interesting that a supposed 8 year old can be accused of adultery????

In any event the marriage was consummated at 15 or 16 .... AND THIS IS BY FAR A PLAUSIBLE ARGUMENT!!!

At the death of the Prophet Aysha was atleast 25 or 26 .........

So I see A shiraz that you are indeed a product of same frustration which had plagued me ... I hate these fanatic also ... BUT I AM NOT SAYING THEY MISREPRESENT ISLAM ... THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ISLAM....

In Islam

1)There can be No clergy ... then how can these people claim that role

2)Islam`s political order is essentially and inherently secular... Prophet was an exception because he was also the Prophet of Allah ..

3)I completely agree with you when you say that Pakistan should a tolerant state ... and a secular state .... and that it is not UnIslamic to be a secuular state ...

MY WORD OF ADVICE TO SHIRAZ ....

TAKE AN ISLAM COURSE AT U PENN HARVARD COLUMBIA OR BROWN!

and if you cant come down to Rutgers and maybe take Islamic Ethics .... a course in the formulation of Islamic Law!

SOLITUDE

LISTEN .... I myself am frustrated by these idiot clerics .... because what they represent is ridiculous .... and I too rebelled against Islam but the CLERICS and the Maulvis donot represent Islam ... and I realized this when I tried to understand.... if the Quran talks about rebelliousness of women as in 4 34 ... it also speaks of the rebelliousness of men in 4 128...the whole inference that Arabic word used for clot ... has a feminine Idafa gives us the impression that women are not only equal but higher ... similarly it should be clear that HALF WITNESS thing was in the context of time AND WAS ONLY APPLICABLE TO BUSINESS TRANSACTIONS ... In CRIMINAL matters Women`s testimony has to EQUAL to Man`s .... and the Fiqhs suggesting otherwise are basing it on a common illa which can be easily rejected because the context in which that ayah was revealed was

THAT women didnot get involved in business transactions at the time .... today the verse opens a legal option for a house wife who was not involved in transactions .... and DOES NOT IN ANY WAY SUGGEST THAT WOMAN`S TESTIMONY IS HALF OF MAN ..... The tone is overwhelmingly EQUAL!!!!!!

Now the whole Pedophile issue is concerned ......

Prophet conssumated the marriage when Aysha reached puberty .... and there is no evidence suggesting that Aysha was that young an age .... for Arab bedouins did not keep track of age then especially of women .... AND THIS CANNOT BE DENIED.

Aysha shows a high level of maturity in the Hadith literature and even the feel is not of a girl but a mature young lady ... I suspect that Aysha was more like 12 or 13 when she got married .... (the only reason scholars say that she was six is because she played with dolls)

ALSO IT is interesting that a supposed 8 year old can be accused of adultery????

In any event the marriage was consummated at 15 or 16 .... AND THIS IS BY FAR A PLAUSIBLE ARGUMENT!!!

At the death of the Prophet Aysha was atleast 25 or 26 .........

So I see A shiraz that you are indeed a product of same frustration which had plagued me ... I hate these fanatic also ... BUT I AM NOT SAYING THEY MISREPRESENT ISLAM ... THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ISLAM....

In Islam

1)There can be No clergy ... then how can these people claim that role

2)Islam`s political order is essentially and inherently secular... Prophet was an exception because he was also the Prophet of Allah ..

3)I completely agree with you when you say that Pakistan should a tolerant state ... and a secular state .... and that it is not UnIslamic to be a secuular state ...

MY WORD OF ADVICE TO SHIRAZ ....

TAKE AN ISLAM COURSE AT U PENN HARVARD COLUMBIA OR BROWN!

and if you cant come down to Rutgers and maybe take Islamic Ethics .... a course in the formulation of Islamic Law!

Re: Athar-I am -NOT-insecure Shiraz

Mine on the other hands does look appealing - atleast I would like to think so - I thought I should mention that just for your information

Thanks for the info, it was much appreciated..now my life is complete......

Insecure you are not...which is good cuz insecurity is never an attractive quality but neither is vanity...no I take that back, I like vanity in a person, substantiated egos...not come look at me I am sooooo great that I am drooling all over my self....slurp..slurp..

Baby I am so outrageous ... I am ashamed of showing my work to women (which why I write by the way) Yes, have no mistake I write so that I can impress women



If you write to impress women then why are you ashamed to show your work?????....and pray tell how do you go about impressing through your writings....is it the constant ref to your need for sexual gratification and extremely subtle references to your body and manhood...if that is the case just post a picture of yourself in a thong it will be much more appreciated .....

At the risk of sounding like a shrink and continuing the paternalistic psychoanalysis that has been done by others....I would say that you are deliberatly outrageous ...to evoke reactions but moreso to see who can stick around , how many will not shy away and take it without batting an eyelid, and of course how many women will not leave exclaiming tauba tauba......you are basking in all the attention..right??????

Anyways I haven`t explored the pandora`s box on your website...but i am sure it will help to break the mo notony of my other reading material.

Nushmia

P.S I missed the thundering applause...

And I think you are too easy a target for salesmen!! :)...and you must be every saleswoman`s dream come true ..:))

``Will look forward to reading more of your stuff...if it has some of the wit and outrageous sentiments that your posts had :)``

Baby I am so outrageous ... I am ashamed of showing my work to women (which why I write by the way) Yes, have no mistake I write so that I can impress women. I breathe so that I can admire them a breather longer. Maybe not all women - just the women who pay attention to me - who are affectionate towards me :)

As far as ``wit`` goes I personally do not think I am witty I just feel I am kind of witty without knowing it. For e.g. I will be saying something and everyone around me will be giggling and rolling all over the floor (in class) and then I have to stop and ask everyone ``What is so funny?`` and that makes them laugh even more. So I just throw my hands up in the air and go ``I guess someone around here has to be funny``.

Also someone called me a `clown` on this forum. I don`t know what I did to deserve that. Was I juggling? or walking around with a painted face ? I mean I can live with ``witty`` without wanting to be witty but if you call me a clown ...

This is SUCH a typically Pakistani thing. The moment someone descends from a stage amidst thunderous applause (after singing some song) someone always has to say ``Well Pakistan does need a ``gawayya`` ...`` I mean ``gawayya`` is NOT a nice word for a ``golokar``(singer). Words like ``you are such a joker`` are not nice either. My mother likes to call me ``Shiraz Kahani Baaz`` (shiraz the story teller) I mean is that a nice thing to say to your son after forbidding him from singing lest he become a ``gawayya``. I tell you there is no positive encouragement for struggling artists in this world.

Wait till I tell her about my acting career - all her ``mera beta umrika main ungineer hai`` (my son is an engineer in america) Isn`t there a terrible word in urdu for actors ? something that implies effiminate nature ? something that casts doubt on my wide and stout and thick girth of my manhood ?

``I just realized that it is not A Shiraz`s fault ... ``

I agree with that whole heartedly :)

``he is just someone who has rebelled against what he saw ...``

You mean to say we have met ? I have seen you? Well you see, I see many people and seeing people is not bad if it weren`t for the way it see-saws out of my memory. It`s like I am on one end of the see saw and all these thousands of people are on the other end and then suddenly I jump off the see saw and these people come crashing down and out of my memory. Some of them really get hurt through contact with the ground.

`` it is our fault that we have let ourselves deteriorate to this extent ... ``

You are right. I think you should rectify that. Go to a really really tall building - stand on its edge and then look up (towards Allah subhanawatalah) then all you have to do is pray ``Oh Allah everyone has deteriorated to a really bad extent except me- I simply want to remain in your ``gowd`` (lap)`` with these words just jump into Allah`s lap. And don`t forget to remove your watch and clothing and mail them to me (The Taliban called they want their cloths back) I wouldn`t want you breaking your watch. Why ? because you are such a nice and upright Muslim boy (who is so good at following Islam) and who sees around him all these people who are bad at following Islam - everyone except you has created ``monsters`` like me and the Taliban and everyone around you has ``deteriorated`` . Sad, but true.

But maybe you are too humble to say ``I am upright and I understand Islam correctly`` maybe you do feel that you should be included in the ``our fault`` part. In that case dearest brother in Islam what better way to get closer to Allah than jumping into his lap from a really tall building?

:) It`s just an idea. Guess what? I don`t even have to take credit for it. You were coming to that conclusion all along - all by your brilliant ``deteriorated`` self :)

ciao, and tell those 70 houris (eternally virginal) women in heaven I am really envious and having a terrible time in hell with all those sinners & drinkers and party-going people (like Ghalib, Einstein, Mick Jagger, Marilyn Monroe, Zeba Bakhtiar, The Playboy Playmates etc.)

Re: http://rd4.lhric.org/writings/writings.html

Quite an interesting collection of writings and rantings, overall. Naturally, there is an article on `Islam`s pedophile prophet` ... inter alia, which firmly establishes his credentials ...

It does not seem poorly researched, in fact much of the stuff seems well researched. Athar Shiraz Siddiqui/Solitude, is making a valuable contribution to academic enlightenment of all desis by doodling on the net. Its a real pity he hasn`t tried the Paki newspapers for publication of his stuff ... perhaps he should try approaching Dawn magazine ... folio@dawn.com, no doubt he may be the first, proud, Chowkwalla to get a fatwa next to his name ... that should afford grounds for a political assylum case ...

I just realized that it is not A Shiraz`s fault ... he is just someone who has rebelled against what he saw ... it is our fault that we have let ourselves deteriorate to this extent ... that we have created Monsters like Shiraz .... whereas the Taliban are the products of the ``Pendulum effect`` on the other side .... A Shiraz also is the product of the same Pendulum effect but on the opposite side ......

This guy is pervert and is not ok .... Please hospitalize him!!!!!

#: 68 ilovemoney ``My remark was not meant to be racist, I just find the idea of a black shalwar kameez as weird as the idea of a shocking pink with gold thread jeans would be``

Forgive me if you thought I interpreted them as racist. I was merely trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Mein ``baath ka bathangar`` Bana Raha thah ( I was making a ``talk-angar out of a talk``)

#66 (satyavadi) : ``bold ho kar bhi tumne kounse DESI gul khila liye ab tak. VILYATI LILYs to shayad bohat khilayi hai tumne, lekin DESI GULAB nahi khila paaye tum ab tak. :):)``

(To transliterate for those who hate transilterating and then translating: Despite your boldness what Indo-Pak-Bangali Flowers did you flower? Foreign Lily you probably flowered a lot but Indo-Paki-Bengali flowers you could not flower yet)

phew just doing that made my head ache. Actually I do not think I have flowered or flowered flowers in ANY category, country or race. Some may think I have done flana or flana (this or that) but that took a lot of effort. For some reason everyone I know thinks I am doing great in the women`s department. I LOOK like I am doing well because my friends are doing better but they don`t sound too happy with whatever they are doing (so they are doing bad). I learned very early on through experiences with Muslim women that the extremes of mistreatment. It crushed my soul to be called ``desperate`` and ``needy`` and immoral and ``westernized`` simply because I wanted affection. Unlike them I did not have parents to cuddle with ... unlike them I did not have relatives around me showering me with attention. But it was not the fault of the Muslim girls either - they are very very afraid.

Afraid of Allah, afraid of repercussions from their families, their relatives their fathers and mothers [honor killing , abductions (I was abducted), tortures (been there) , mental brainwashing (been there)] Last night I met Hani -an egyptian Muslim who apostasized. His one lament ``my community did not give me love``. So I am not the only one who was short on love and affection from my community. I dont know about the rest of you guys - maybe thousands bearded men go down on you every day- maybe hundredsd veiled women lift their burqas to make your day every night- maybe you get to cuddle and kiss women in the latrines and then go back to your segregated corners after touching each other to pretend like you don`t do all that ``dirty`` stuff. I dont know. I know no one told me the way to the latrines :) and I had to go really bad.

So I am very glad I have found honest people : men and women who are not afraid to touch and hold me in public. Sometimes though I become sad because they talk about family and they talk about high school friends and sweethearts and lover`s lanes and evening gowns and fingers on delicate glasses and music (that EXCITES) and art (not calligraphy) and people who are desperate like me - things I never had nor ever will - and why ? because we are pure and we dont like the ``dirty`` stuff.

When you mention the ``lilies`` mention them with reverance because they are people who carry their pain in a dignified way, and (the ones I hang out with) share their love without seeking parental, clerical, national, communal approval. I think that is cool.

again please

This guy makes controversial statements to extract a response .... he craves attention ...let us Not pay him any attention ... all people after reading this email stop replying!

Solitute, I`m confused by your remarks. Why are you equating love with sex? What happened to friendship?

Re: Solitute

My remark was not meant to be racist, I just find the idea of a black shalwar kameez as weird as the idea of a shocking pink with gold thread jeans would be

``or regret the fact that I missed the sight of a sexy body in Armani!!!!``

Well I am sure there were other people dressed in Armani but not all bodies in Armanis look sexy. Mine on the other hands does look appealing - atleast I would like to think so - I thought I should mention that just for your information. Its cuz I work out a lot (like 80-100 push ups a day) and the lady I cuddle with (some people like to call such creatures ``girl friends`` -I can`t because she is older and already has a boy friend) thinks I have a ``sexy`` body too. I dont know if I look sexy in an Armani though. I hope I do. Atleast that is what the salesman at Emporio Armani said ``You look like a greek god`` - I know everyone else may think that the salesman was just buttering me up for his comission BUT he was not the only salesman who has said that - I have heard nice things about me from other salesmen too - and they ALL can`t be wrong ... *gulp * ...

Athar-I-am-NOT-Insecure-Shiraz.

Shiraz #50:

You said:

````Wish I was as bold as you are.. But then thee is a consolation..bold ho kar bhi tumne kounse gul khila liye ab tak.. :)``

Wow, this should be the quote of the week ! and then we should print it on the Pakistani Flag ``bold ho kar bhi tumne kounse gul khila liye ab tak`` (despite your boldness what flowers did you flower?) ``

Thanks for commending my comment.:)

But, in light of your subsequent postings on this forum, I think I should correct my comment. So here goes the revised version:

bold ho kar bhi tumne kounse DESI gul khila liye

ab tak. VILYATI LILYs to shayad bohat khilayi hai tumne, lekin DESI GULAB nahi khila paaye tum ab tak. :):)

there is no more consolation (despair!!):).

Isnt this right ? Hope to hear your comments on this one.

Satyavadi

PS: Before any of the ladies here brand me anything out of indignation, a clarification is in order. I may not be a feminist, but I am no sexist either.peace.

temporal #62 please restrain yourself from personal attacks on the writer and unsubstantiated labelling of his opinions.

To SOLITUDE

READ what I wrote down there !!!!!

To Digits ...

I hate Jersey City because my Ex Girl Friend lives there....and I dont like the general crowd over there....

Thanks for the advice ..

but see someone has to stop someone like A Shiraz FROM MAKING SUCH RIDICULOUS STATEMENTS ...

I mean freedom of speech IS A GREAT IDEAL ... but there has to be a DISTINCTION between A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION BASED ON FACTS and JUST pure SLANDER with no NO FACTUAL BASIS!

R U READING SOLITUDE??????

#60

clarification: the reference to last line is that to Shiraz`s ``faction`` story`s(fiction+fact/2) last paragraph.Please check it out again.

Please also read my last paragrapgh as ...style IN which,instead of ...style WITH which.

Thank you.I`ll try to be careful next time.

Before passing judgement on Solitude/ a.k.a. A.Shiraz Siddiqui one would do well to familiarise oneself with his outlook -- @http://rd4.lhric.org/writings/writings.html
---that he has so thoughtfully provided earlier. Their is a warning on the site alerting to `Adult Material`.

Alas there is none for Poorly Researched, Biased and Confused Material. Am specifically referring to his writings on Islam and the Prophet.

rgds

t

Am I really bold ? WOW :) you guys just make me want to look at my face in the mirror :)

Well you have to be bold in this world you see - because they say ``A faint hear never won a fair lady`` - now honestly speaking I am just looking for anyone who looks like a lady (being the sexually deprived desi Musalman boy that I am)... fortunately for me I am in a country where you can actually touch a woman`s arm without getting raped by her gun-toting-relatives. I just came back from a party and the fact that women touched my arms, my shoulders and that I could brush my hands against their softness ... it brings me to tears of joy - I never asked for more than the permission to look into their eyes and be able to touch their bra strap while ballroom dancing. To be able to inhale the gallons of perfume they doused themselves in. Girls are so silly :)

Guess where I get my ``bold``ness from ? From all those gay men who call me to say `` Is it true what they say that you are really cute?`` I mean what am I supposed to say to that ? ``Yeah dude, I haven`t really looked in the mirror lately but if you say so - I guess someone has to be cute around here ...`` They really boost my confidance. Just a little bit of affection from a stranger can go far. Seriously though sometimes I walk down the street and look at people sleeping on the foot path (side walk) and I see boys and girls who ran away from perfectly happy and wealthy lives.

Why ? because they said ``we want something better``. Here you have in America people who have everything yet they will leave their parents, leave their religion, criticize their country and go to live in hovels so that they may have their dreams. You can say ``I am ok with this because it is God`s words - I guess there has to be some wisdom in it - even though it make me miserable`` or you can be ``bold`` and go ``I dont care which God or culture or religion or holy book says that - it is criminal that we should live without love``.

I love the people here for always being self critical - for always wanting more - and I know we as human beings (NOT jews, hindus, christians or Muslims) are capable of change too - radical revolutionary change. That is what I have to offer to you - the exhortation : evolve or perish.

digit:#59

Goood advice to ylh.

But,I think you are the one who is taking solitude/shiraz seriously.Do you not agree that there is room for clowns too in our community?Very few readers/listeners try to learn Islam from him nor does he profess that he wants to teach.If the guy can talk in public about the spousal abuse then you should understand how much pain he feels inside to camaflouge it as sarcasm and laughter.

As far as I can read him he desperatley needs assurance and really never wants to abandon Islam.Those who want to never critcise it,they just fade away into the oblivion of secularism/nihilism.

Someday someone will be able to show him that one`s personal experience does not invalidate a creed.The presence of rampant crime in US has nothing to do with its Declaration of Bill of rights OR if the dollar bill says `In God we trust` it does not mean that there are no cons or counterfeiters in the country.

Despite Shirazi`s/Solitude`s(doesn`t this handle tell you something) roller-coaster writing I must commend him for keeping a watch on what he is saying.He never used profanity and tried to be comicaly careful in matters religious.He may be a clown but he is not crazy.

Ba Khudaa deevana ba-shudd,ba Muhammad hoshiar!!

PS:I just can`t help pointing out to the readers the sardonic style with which the last line has been written.Suddenly you screech in your tracks & stop laughing....& you empathise with him.



wassalaam

In response to ylh:

I hate Jersey `cause it`s dirty. Your turn to

tell me why you hate it.

In regards to solitude, don`t bother.

Do something more productive with your time. Those familiar with his rants and raves from soc.religion.islam knows he often misquotes, embeds nuggets of fact within large bodies of fiction, often usurps lame polemics touted by anti-Islam Evangelicals, is definitely anti-Arab, and and in general isn`t a character to take seriously.

``Wish I was as bold as you are.. But then thee is a consolation ..bold ho kar bhi tumne kounse gul khila liye ab tak.. :)``

Wow, this should be the quote of the week ! and then we should print it on the Pakistani Flag ``bold ho kar bhi tumne kounse gul khila liye ab tak`` (despite your boldness what flowers did you flower?) What is it in our society that prevents the bold from flowering flowers? Is it the conservative prohibitive strictures that crush our soul? Is it the moral values taught to us since child hood ``don`t look at women ... never look into their eyes, they are temptresses and are going to hell and they will take you with them``. Is it the fear induced in our people ``love and we will call it adultery or zina and stone you to death or lash you or crucify you or starve you in a house till death overtakes you``? What is it that causes every bold and ambitious man/woman to leave the ISLAMIC Pakistan ? I wonder.

A funny piece! I really don`t give a crap if it was ``rough around the edges``, it kept me engaged and laughing. After so many boring articles, it was a breath of fresh air.

More importantly, I read the replies and Solitude continues to be funny, and very very bold.

Please keep on writing.

To all with pickles up thier arses shouting for respect for this person or that: relax! Life is so much fun if you can laugh a little. On the other hand, Solitude, you know what happens to little Salman Rushdies for blasphamy? Afghani and Irani men running after you.... scene from deliverance ``Squeal like a pig, boy!`` *shudder *

Lyahus

Obayashi is JAPANESE CHRISTIAN

Solitude

One more thing

Please try taking a course on Islamic Law and its formulation at any of the good Universities ....

ADVISED ...UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA ...OR HARVARD ... OR COLUMBIA....

AND YOU will see why Islam remains BY AND LARGE INTERPRETTIVE ....

let me QUOTE PROFESSOR OBAYASHI in his work on Religion and Politics ..

``Jehad was inside the Islamic tradition always closer to ``Bellum Justum`` (Just war) and has nothing to do with the christian concept of Holy War``

A highly interprettive statement you might say???

Some AUTHORS TO READ

who have done authentic research work on Islam...

Montgommery Watt

John L Esposito

George Hourani

Rhinehart

Karen Armstrong

And the fact that ISLAM never had nor will have a clergy says something about its TRUE NATURE !!!!

TO SOLITUDE ...

It is not the question of interpretting Islam.

You either very limited grasp of knowledge about Islam

First of all ... as far as racist ideology is concerned ....

Have you read about the Bilal Habshi ?????

Have you read about the coutless slaves in Islam who became rulers later on????

You have without any concrete evidence charged Muslims with introducing slavery in Europe ....

it existed in SPAIN MUCH BEFORE THAT ....

Roderick`s treatment of the Jews ????

ROMAN INVASION OF SPAIN??????800 YEARS BEFORE ISLAM???? HOW CAN YOU MAKE SUCH a ridiculously innaccurate and false statement ... based on no historical knowledge whatsoever???????????

Atleast do some research?????? PLEASE.... before making such generalizations????????

Muslims were seen as the SAVIOUrs of Jews and other minority faiths in Spain ....read some neutral authors ..... READ JOHN L ESPOSITO ....

Read Watt ... FOR GOD SAKES ... READ SOME BOOKS ...SIDELINING THE FACT THAT SLAVERY IN ISLAM HAD A DIFFERENT CONNOTATION AND THAT IT WAS NEVER ENCOURAGED BT TOLERATED AS AN EVIL WHICH WILL SLOWLY SUBSIDE ......... A slave in ISLAM had to be treated equally atleast inside the Islamic tradition.

You have destroyed HISTORY

and made judgements without any merits......

DID YOU KNOW THAT DURING THE CRUSADES ... THE ORTHODOX CHRISTIANS AND JEWS ACTUALLY SIDED WITH THE MUSLIMS AGAINST LATIN CHRISTIANITY ... FOR THEY HAD VIEWED MUSLIM RULE AS MUCH MORE TOLERANT .....

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE ABBASSIDS AND THE OTTOMANS IN RELATIVE COMPARISONS GO DOWN AS THE MOST TOLERANT OF ALL EMPIRES ?????????

I DONT WANT TO ARGUE WITH YOU MY FRIEND ... YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO YOUR OWN OPINION BUT PLEASE FOR GOD SAKES GO AND READ ABOUT ISLAM FIRST AND THEN MAKE AN OPINION .....

IT IS EASY TO TAKE THE EXAMPLE OF TALIBAN OR SOMEONE AND CONDEMN ISLAM .........

WHAT IS HARD TO DO IS TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHETHER THEY REALLY ARE ACTUALLY IMPLEMENTING ISLAM THE WAY IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IMPLEMENTED ..........

AS MANY HISTORIANS SAY ... EACH IDEOLOGY SHOULD BE JUDGES ACCORDING TO THE WARTS OF TIME .... NAME ONE RELIGION OR IDEOLOGY BEFORE THE DEVELOPMENT OF MODERN SENSIBILITIES THAT IS MORE TOLERANT THAN ISLAM .... AND NOW THAT THERE MIGHT BE SOME CHALLENGES THATS WHEN WE BRING IN A REINTERPRETTATION OF THE SAME ISLAMIC LAW ... AND IT HAS LEGAL MANIFESTATIONS ....

USUL UL FIQH IS A TIME DEPENDANT PHENOMENON ...

??? HAVE YOU BOTHERED TO READ ABOUT USUL UL FIQH ..... the whole legal system and science that Muslims have used over centuries and now neglected which has led to our present day condition and totally fanatic groups like Taliban who are nothing more than a PENDULUM EFFECT ?????????

I AM DISGUSTED BY THE Charges that you made because most of them are totally baseless ....

I hope that you go and read before making such obnoxious declarations!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE ABSTAIN FROM MAKING STRAWMAN FALLACIES ... BECAUSE YOU ONLY ARE RUINING THE NAME OF YOUR OWN PEOPLE ......

Solitude (prefer solitude to shiraz)

I found your account hilarious (sarcastic or otherwise)... it held my interest till the end (that is a big complement since my attn span is less then 15 sec) I was interested in seeing how the evening would end.. would have been happier for you had your evening ended with some pakistani girl ravishing your body like you soo badly crave.......

I almost ended up going to this party but opted for a more personal evening ...after reading your article and some of the comments I cannot make up my mind whether I should be relieved at not going or regret the fact that I missed the sight of a sexy body in Armani!!!!

Anyways, your account of encounters (or lack thereof)with hip gyrating gharara walis was amusing ...and like you said your self keep Islam out of it. I can`t understand how the discussion here turned to Islam etc...sheesh how did everyone get started on racism and black aramani....becomess black american becomes black veil and throw in some taliban and the name of the Holy prophet (pbuh)...it seems like another attempt by all to outwit the other and display what they assume to be a rare insight into God knows what, that only their profound declarations and exclamations are testimony to their superior neuronal pathways....Ok Ok all those topics are earth shatteringly important and deserve to be discussed and brought out into the open...but that has been done (and will be done) on almost all articles on chowk.....I don`t get the relevance here.....the poor guy (oops more ``taras`` from a paki female) just wrote about how he spent an evening and his observations.....can we leave it at that without waging jihad on all and waging counter jihad on all who wage jihad......

Will look forward to reading more of your stuff...if it has some of the wit and outrageous sentiments that your posts had :)

Nushmia

Re: http://rd4.lhric.org/writings/thanksgiving.html

Solitude,

I REALLY ENJOYED reading this! 4 Stars to your sense of irony & humour! (g)

We Must hang out sometime in NYC over the summer ... i can always use a new friend. E-mail me at Laptop00@aol.com whenever.

Aside from a little proofing, i don`t see why Chowk couldn`t publish this? We need MORE SUCH Amusing Fare!

regards,

Omar

A bold piece i must say,though written in a crude manner. anyways,it made good reading..especially coming from an ABCD(American Born Confused Desi).

regards,

Malik.

From TFT

``Barakati in trouble

Daily Pakistan, reported that Maulana Ghulam Muhammad Barakati had insulted the Holy Prophet PBUH. A number of citizens in Gujranwala alleged that Barakati had said `strange unworthy things` about the Prophet PBUH in his speeches and therefore deserved death under law. He was also accused of being a RAW agent since only RAW could persuade a Pakistani to do such a foul deed.``



I think Shiraz is also a RAW agent. Only RAW could persuade a Pakistani to do such a foul deed or writing something funny about EID.

This piece was meant for my family members who badgered me with ``so what did you do over eid? so what are you doing now? so what will you do tomorrow?`` I barely expected it to be published leave alone admired by people. So I am very pleasantly surprised and pleased. I have noticed that when I write with the least fore thought (just write write and write) I write quite comprehnsibly.

Hmmmm...don`t know what to say. Couldn`t finish the whole piece...was bored out of my mind halfway through! I thought the piece was over sarcastic and quite rough on the edges.

#29 (Mannyd): MalMal Is Muslin?

Didn`t know that. Not too good at the fabric to fabric translation but velvet rhymed with veil (which is not really a dupatta but I dont care).

# 26(zaynab): Sorry, I make a lot of unintentional mistakes - and I am often misunderstood too for e.g. somehow no matter how much I express my love for women I am perceived as ``sexist`` (by atleast one woman a year) or ``gay`` (by atleast 15000 men a day.

(I am like the prison warden now, calling everyone by their serial numbers)

# 40 (cherroo): or shall I say the chest-gyrating-femme-gharara-fatale (don`t think I didn`t notice you hon) how do you know we are talking about the same tall-gharara wali ? there were others (i dont remember what they were wearing - I mean who cares ? its coming off anyways)

Its possible that I could be talking about someone who was ogling me and yet was unattached. What made you think of the one with the fiancee?

If you were trying to dash my hopes (then pardon me for thinking ``badly`` or expecting ``immoral thoughts`` out of a Muslim woman) and rest assured they have been dashed a long time ago. I do not expect anything but a repressively chaste attitude from Muslim women. That is one of the reasons why I find little beauty in them. But they could be beautiful. If I do not amount to anything in my life - I will not mind that IF I can just be the siren that draws a woman towards promiscuity, strength, independance and sexual liberation. It does not mean I am on a crusade to promiscui-fy the Muslim women. I would much rather (and already do) give love to the women who are easy. I am sorry I even mentioned Islam. I am a writer not a theologian. I have provided sources for way too many people for years. I am done with that. I don`t want any more trouble or attacks or arguments. I am foremost a writer who does not want to alienate his readership or his body from his (non existant) soul.

# 7 & # 39 (Satyavadi): ``The girls wont be nearly as good as the Pakistani ones,`` -

Are Indian women ``horny`` ? are they affectionate? I do not care what they look like , what they smell like (I am gifted with an impaired sense of smell and a very muscular tongue) as long as they ``easy friends``. A society`s progress is measured by the love that circulates around. The more easy the women are in a society the more it will progress in comparison to its puritanical neighbours- the stronger that society would be ; for I would lay my life down for the one(s) who love(s) me but never for some deity , some country, some religion (not anymore).

# 36: Want to read about the wonderful people in Chicago ? http://rd4.lhric.org/writings/thanksgiving.html

#16(tahmed321): ``Now go write that book you have inside you. `` Yes sir, whatever you say sir! But pardon me Sir, if I say so Sir, that it will certainly not be under my real name. I heard Rushdie is coming to NYC (for the one he loves)

#15 (Omar1974): ``What I fail to understand is why you didn`t show up drunk`` I did that once (at some function) and the same guy who called me gay overtly turned his nose up in contempt as though I was suffering from some disease (actually it helps me loosen up and become less uptight and I talk to people much more easily) - another guy just stopped talking to me & walked away the moment he realized that the drink in my hand was not just cranberry juice.

# 10 (zehra): ``isnt this your second chowk piece shiraz saab?`` wow somebody who actually read my first piece? most of my stuff is incomprehensible. You must love me if you actually sat through that story.

# 7(satya): ``I do not belong to any Muslim students` association and am not a Muslim, so hopefully the Abbaas, wont stone me `` - My dear friend I have some bad news - the Bhais and Abbaas of our communities are quite protective. They are ever ready to kill and mutilate if someone dares to look at their sisters (I was like that and actually have a broken nose out of it). They forget that their mothers and sisters need love too- and that they can make their own mind and that their are men (just like them) who need the love of their mothers and sisters.

#: 5 (jazba): write about it ... that is usually the best revenge.

#4: (dawood) Actually the ``taras khao`` part is not hard to invoke out of a Pakistani girl. They are always looking for pets. I just get down on my knees and beg - the hard part is getting their love and affection (not out of ``oh bechara let him taste me a bit`` kind of charity) but out of a real carnal, sexual desire for my body (and buttocks) and my arms and my eyes, and my tongue and ... I love it when women use me for my body and my looks (wish that happened more often) but instead the good ole Muslim woman always goes ``aaanh I like that you are a smarty pants ... heehee and that you make me laugh ...`` I mean there are thousands of men who are smarter than me and funnier than me but there is NO ONE who has a body like I do (thanks to my genes and the ``accidental`` death of my twin brother [ *evil grin *]) I love it when complet strangers just come up and grab my behind - or my arms or my ...

I notice one thing in my fellow Muslims (for which I love them) they would rather blame themselves (or the interpretors) rather than question Islam (the ideaology that engenders and cultivates and brainwashes them ; that encourages their violent, misogynistic, racist behaviour)

They would rather blame and kill each other (for interpreting Islam ``wrong``) than question the words that create such an attitude.

You blame pornography for a rapist`s actions (``brother if women wear little cloths then they asking for rapist to attack them! Brother watching porn will make you rapist! it excite and frustrate you to become rapist!``) but you do not blame Islam-ography for the actions of assassins, Taliban, Mullahs, Terrorists, child molestors, mass murderers, slave-traders (did you know the Muslims of Spain introduced slavery into Europe?) - you instead say (``brother it is not fault of Quran it is all Saddam`s fault``)

On the flip side of the coin you do not applaud the individual effort of scientists (who were accidentally born Muslims) who happen to be Muslims and associate it with Islam. You give Islam the credit for the discoveries (inventions)of alcoholics and womanizers and zindiqs (apostates) ``oh Islam was so great brother because of following it we were in golden y-age! we ruled world and discovered khimyat, bia-low-ji- Islam great and good good``. You ignore that the best and greatest of all Muslim scientists were persecuted by Islamists and clerics and the scientists themselves were barely practising Muslims. If you want to read more on this read Hoodhbhoy`s works Why The Scientific Revolution Never Happened in Islam http://www.chowk.com/bin/showa.cgi?hoodbhoy_dec2397

And his works on Muslim Scientists.

As far as assassination of Poets go to :

http://www.answering-islam.org/Muhammad/Enemies/

under Asma Bint Marwan and Abu Afak. Read also : http://rd4.lhric.org/writings/poetry.html

zaynab:#26

Do you know that Shiraz & Solitude are the same person? That is all I tried to point out.Please do not take him so seriously.Read my post again.He is a very good muslim but has become a mulamtee .Such kinds try to reach the TRUTH by self-deprecating themselves no end but never abandoning the roost.Islamic literature is rife with such examples.I love this guy.He is kind of the Desi version of Robin Williams--motor-mouths, caring-creatures.

Otherwise:

Jis ko ho deen o dil azzeez uss ki gulli mein jayee kyun.

(if one is so worried about losing ones faith then why should he even venture near)(``the event``)

He seems to me the most confused Desi but who has turned this confusion into an omellete.This is an omellete of inhereted theology and acquired.ID.syndrome(ID=identity ;)] and is now kind of wondering how to be `Staying Alive` five times a day on a mussala while at the same time peeking sideways if a gharara is sashaying(shuffling ?).

zehra:Try to rein him in ;).

wassalaam

To Shiraz... #37

Though addressed to some one else, it was a great read. Specially that thing about brushing whatever with the ghararas:)

Some sense of humor you have.

Wish I was as bold as you are.. But then thee is a consolation ..bold ho kar bhi tumne kounse gul khila liye ab tak.. :)

btw, i repeat my unsolicited advice. try an indian function. i know indian girls have something special for paki guys, god knows why.

Cheers!

Satyavadi

``I rush into the soothing arms of alcohol`` - Also if any of you think I am an alcoholic (glugluglugluglug --- aaaah) ... then KnOw ThIs ( *hick *) ... i Am Sooooo NoooT ( *hick *) an Alcoholic. JuSt SeTtInG ( *hick *) the uhhh ReCoRd Str8 .....

cherroo, thanks for reminding me about my moves on the dance floor [ *grimace *] I am more into Tango and Salsa and Swing (ballroom stuff) but am completely lost in the freestyle world of disco dancing. All ISLAMIC holidays SHOULD be devoid of all intellectual, artistic and ``ungodly`` talks. Intellectual because Islam scorns upone anything that is outside the Quran as a source of Knowledge (for everything is complete and perfect within that book) - Artistic because Islam scorns upon music (``instruments of satan``, ``Excites``) it derides paintings (``living beings`` in particular) it forbids sculpture (``idolatory``) and threatens writers (the orders by the prophet to assassinate poets, authors , critics and their subsequent execution) And ofcourse Islamic functions should not have ``ungodly`` talks (for obvious reasons). I will be happier if these functions were morbid (``we will all die tomorrow brothers! the fire of hell is waiting to eat us for our sins! life is short and its a test so pray! and donate to the Jihad in Algeria, Turkey, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Saudi Arab, Lebanon, Turkmenistan, Philipines, USA ...`` ) and boring (``now we will narrate the story of Abu Bakar which you have heard 150000 times before but it doesnt hurt to hear it again``) Art, music, intellectual and ungodly things should be reserved for the INDEPENDANCE DAY of a SECULAR Pakistan. We should find those days more enjoyable than any Arabic festival. As for art, book readings and ghazals being ``tacky`` - I will have look up what ``tacky`` means - but I enjoyed them (really) not to mention brushing up against your ``gharara`` (was my intention all along). Lastly it was Emporio Armani (none of that Exchange stuff) that v-neck alone was over $300 :) So which one of the ``ghararas`` were you ? the chest-gyrating one? or the hip-gyrating gharara? or were you the ``I-am-dancing-even-though-it-looks-like-I-am-standing-still`` ghararas? wait ! could you be that tall gharara with the face of Nazia Hassan who kept staring in me humble direction ? oh that will restore my faith in every diety if it were true. I am sorry I could not talk or engage you in anything- as I said I had a very tangible fear of committing some religious, cultural faux pas (which in Islamic cultures is ``talking to a non mahram`` of the opposite sex) Now you might say the function was rather ``modern`` to be so uptight or Islamic- and I will agree but still I hate being stared at (by men who think I am going to sleep with the first woman I talk to) and I hate being different(from the other men who seemed to be dancing with themselves) Atleast I was dancing ``close`` to where the girls were ... let me have that much atleast ... atleast i made an effort to get out of the ``bhangra`` group of men ...

Re: Zaynab#23

Zaynab,

You are absolutely right about the wonderful qualities of African people.. And yes, they were one of the earliest people who joined Mohammd`s Islamic movement. However, when you say that most desis are racists or that they don`t have a clue about Islam, you are generalizing..Perhaps you didn`t like solitude`s sarcasm at the expense of Africans, but two wrongs don`t make a right...Also, I don`t understand why you keep referring to Africans as ``blacks``....desis are black too....I am black..if you have south Asian descent then you are black too...

Take care,

Cheers,

Fairdinkum

Solitude,

I think you misunderstood, i didn`t actually mean to Yell at u like some school boy,(grin) so don`t be offended. I love your article, and your reply #52 on `Pakistan in the Year 3000` especially, with which i am in total agreement. (Go take a look)

``But Shiraz there are Mullahs who are good and I like them``

Frankly, i have not yet met a Mullah I liked. All i`ve ever recieved at the hands of Mullahs has been child abuse, thankfully, only physical (since i wasn`t enrolled in a madressah), and a closeup view of their ignorance, sloth and stupidity. My own childhood experience with Mullahs, atypical of other people`s i`m sure, has only succeeded in instilling in me an utter contempt, hatred and ridicule for them, and their methods. Mullahs know nothing about real Islam and neither do the Taliban who have given it a bad name. Wahabbi extremism is not the only brand of legit Islam, and i have a feeling this is the foreign, alien brand, Taliban-lovers such as FARANGI KUSH want to impose on Pakistan, rather than the Sufi mysticism or Whirling Dervish brand which are much more accomodating of the human spirit, and require no state enforcement. I`ve seen the repressed and intolerent Saudis up close as well (both in the U.S & in S.Arabia and what a contrast in their actions!), and have little but contempt for them and their holier than thou attitudes of superiority towards others.

In fact, Institutionalized religion stultifies the human spirit, and stagnates, just as Islamic thought over the past 1000 years has done. Therefore, Secularism, the seperation of the Spiritual from the Temporal, offers the best solution for Muslims to progress, in my view. Mass religion degenerates to a lowest common denominator approach, substituting orthopraxy for spirituality that can enrich people`s personal lives. We need no fatwa (legal Opinion) to celebrate Basant!

regards,

OMAR MIRZA

Ylh,

it wasn`t a personal thing, i just had a point of view about your poetry that differed, it doesn`t mean i differ with EVERYTHING ELSE you might have a view on ... nor was the fob remark honestly meant to be insulting in any way, it was just an observation. What i question is the motivation behind your writing the poem ... it just seemed odd of all things you could write, given your fob status, to be worrying about the social problems of a society in which you are an Alien.

Nor am/was i telling you WHAT to write, as you seemed to think.



regards,

O.M

I HATE JERSEY CITY ........

Digit you tell me why you hate Jersey City and I ll tell you why I hate Jersey City ....

-Yasser Hamdani

Omar Mirza

I am glad that you are in agreement with me! :)

Like I said ... You have always misunderstood my intentions in the past and made it a matter of ego

-Yasser Hamdani

``Any questions? Is THAT Clear?``

Why does everyone talk to me like I was a small child or their student : `` Shiraz X + y = z, any questions young man ? is THAT clear?``

Thanks a lot everyone. And you are right all those Ulama who spend hours learning the Quran and who write the ``tafaseer`` for each other - are ``taliban`` and obscurantists and fanatics. And you are right and so is Abdullah Bin Abdullah and Abdullah Bin Abdullah Bin Abdullah except the people who devote their lives to really practising Islam (in Afghanistan and NOT in America) ``But Shiraz there are Mullahs who are good and I like them`` Well so you may like Mullah A and Abdullah Bin Abdullah may like Mullah B and there we have a wonderful sect, schism, fiqhs, shias, qadianis - and ofcourse intersectarian violance. Isn`t all this great? all this attempt to interpret and re interpret some 6th century ``plagiarism``? and then dividing based on these interpretations and then torturing each other based on the others` interpretation. Ofcourse that is what makes things interesting in a world where you cannot talk to a woman without the presance of a Mahram. If you threw all of this overboard and drowned all the books and the Mullahs in the Sea things would be soooo boring - just like in the west (where the clerics and religion has little to do with government) . Have fun reopening the veil vs. spousal abuse (4:34) debate ``But this is not part of Islam`` ``But you are wrong this IS part of Islam but you are not interpreting it in my way`` ... so while you bicker over how exactly Islam tells us HOW exactly one should wash their hyne , bottom, behind ... I will just try to shake it and not seem like a gay man ...

Shiraz Sahib,

Enjoyed reading your memoir. Excuse me for nit-picking, but Malmal is muslin. You probably mistook it for Makhmal, heavier stuff and more difficult to fly like a kite on a windy day.

Anyway, keep writing.

Shiraz Sahib,

Enjoyed reading your memoir. Excuse me for nit-picking, but Malmal is muslin. You probably mistook it for Makhmal, heavier stuff and more difficult to fly like a kite on a windy day.

Anyway, keep writing.

For once, i am in agreement with Ylh, regarding the veiling of the prophet`s (Pbuh) wives, this was a SPECIAL EXCEPTION BECAUSE they were his wives, the rules for them were different and not applicable to everyone else, similarly he was allowed 9 wives, because he was allowed to by G-D, and furthermore SOLITUDE, if you or anyone else calls him by any name which someone marrying a 9 yr old girl would be called today in response ... i shall just scream!

Kindly understand that just because the prophet (pbuh) did something special ... does not mean that THAT SOMETHING is an example for the rest of us to follow ... no, he was Allah`s prophet (pbuh) ... there is a distinction between every THIS something that he did, and THAT something that he did, but the THAT something for which there was a special rule just for him, is NOT SOMETHING for you & I to follow.

Any questions? Is THAT Clear?

This is your brain ...

This your brain after being subjected to the 6 books which have overshadowed the Quran, in the hands of obscurantists for centuries, and distorted Islam`s progressive Spirit through a reactionary, feudal, clerical manipulation of the religion and sustituted form over substance, and reduced the religion to a lifeless set of

ablutions, devotions & ritualisms.

Omar Mirza

In response to ylh:

Yeah, come to think of it I hate Jersey City too...

I hate Jersey City

and in passing .... the sarcastic comments that

solitude made about prophet Muhammad are most displeasing ....

because .... no where in the QURAN is veil prescribed for women and even the Hijab is subject to debate ... plus the openess of women in their dealings with people of that time is a clear example of the status that women enjoyed in 7th century Arabia especially during the Prophet`s time .... so PLEASE READ THE QURAN FIRST ... Even the quote from the Quran is wrong ....

I wonder why people make these comment ... to sensationalize perhaps???????

zaynab:#23

Thank you for a good ribbing/rubbing to solitude.Now he won`t know whether to laugh or cry.

He seems to be Ok as Shiraz,but Jackyll/Hyde

fashion his demons in his closet start haunting him when he goes into ``Solitude``.

He seems to be the most confused Desi around.Poor guy can`t love them,can`t leave them.

But his engine revvs.So there is always hope that he drives in the right direction & to the right places.

``I must mention that it was a very well organised event and a large number of people managed to have a good time!!! ``

I was amongst that ``large`` number of people. I loved the artistic, tabla, dance, poetry(ghazal), dinner part. I just missed the non muslims and a little diversity (just whining here it was purrrfect)... Suggestion : wouldnt it be cool if we had the holi and diwali people over along with the norouz people mixed in with those uptight Catholic chics - not to mention the bearded rabbis who look down upon us for being ``goyam`` (and likewise) not to mention male and female strippers and those (really) gay men and women and blacks and the nazis and the mullahs and then EVERYONE COULD KISS EVERYONE ELSE AND FEEL THE WARMTH INSIDE AND GO : WOW! I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE LIKE ME capable of giving me pleasure ... that would be so much better than fearing them.

``First, let me say your writing ability leaves much to be desired!!! ``

First let me say your writing ability leaves much to be desired!!!

No? Yess yess :) good good :)

``I can`t believe you even thought about wearing black to a Pakistani party``

Well my mother wears all black veils (thanks to my father and the Prophet Mohammad SAW) sometimes she doesn`t even have to wear veils her ``Gori``ness is duly blackened :) (thanks to my father and the Prophet Mohammad SAW- 4:34 Holy Quran) Black is beautiful ? I heard that only after coming to the USA. For some reason we force our women to wear it but detest everything dark with a passion. I read in a NYTimes article an interview with a typical Japanese boy who said something like ``well i will open a tanning salon when I grow up because girls like dark skinned men``. Wow! they and all the ``immoral white people`` sometimes really know how to make a ``black`` person feel good. Since I have started hanging out with my american friends I have almost forgotten the color of my skin. Whereas my people - my family and my Pakistanis never made me forget it (even though they were only joking about it). Most black americans try to turn to our holiness thinking it is about equality and anti-slavery and 4 wives. Most of them approach us thinking our community will allow them to love the women who shun them - and how disappointed they are. I know black men who converted to Judaisim simply because they hated and feared the hypocrisy so passionately.

``just harness (not restrict) it a little more :))``

Dear Ms. Rizvi pray inform us how we will go about harnessing me ?

;))

Mohtaram Farangee Kush:

I agree that the article does not qualify for either fiction or nonfiction, it falls under memoir writing. Luckily or unluckily, I have read some of the author’s work in the past. He narrates very well and has an interactive style. When a writer jots down his thoughts, performs fine-tuning and then disseminates his work, it is natural for the readers to read the article, comment, critique, recommend and/or simply be indifferent.

I opted for commenting and critiquing. In doing so, I may have focused on critiquing but that is my prerogative!

I felt the author has very heartlessly described the Bapsi’s episode. Cracking India was based on 1947’s partition and Bapsi read out some excerpts from her book. She also mentioned some scenes that were difficult to picturize due to their “Nau-eyyat”. The arrival of the much-awaited train from Gurdaspur, with only dead and mutilated bodies of Muslim Women, was one of the most touching scenes. I watched this movie in Asia Society two years back with a hall full of Americans. I do not remember talking to anyone who did not break into tears watching that scene. It was a very tragic scene.

Bapsi Sidwa is a Parsi , a minority in Pakistan, and also happens to be from my alma mater in Lahore. I have great respect for the lady. The fact that she had her religious celebration the same day but still joined us for the Eid Party & then went to hers, was an appreciable gesture.

I feel the author needed to be a little sensitive before becoming overzealous in picking the “pieces ” of a question and adding to this “intellectual memoir”.

That’s it!

``What offended me most was the manner in which you denigrated a writer of Bapsi Sidwa`s calibre and marginalised her words by one sweep of her ``Parsi`` background...``

There is something called sarcasm. I respect Ms. Sidhwa. I love minorities, and underdogs and those who have to face prejudice. I say that because I am myself a minority in Pakistan. I think it is great that the leader and founder of our country was a minority ``non muslim``. He knew what it was like to be hated. That is why he wanted a secular country but the feudal-military-clerical alliance assassinated a moderate secularist Liaqat Ali Khan and renamed Pakistan in 1956 to an Islamic Pakistan where Ahmedis dont have equal rights, hindus are regularly persecuted (the persecution of Muslims anywhere else is no justification) and shias are gunned down in their bargahs. I think Parsis and other minorities can help us turn things around. But I was employing sarcasm. I do not know what it means either but a lot of people seem to think this piece is ``sarcasm`` ? I usually look up meanings of words in dictionaries.

One funny story. Now go write that book you have inside you.

Shiraz (my dear fellow New Yorker),

They will put a fatwa out with your name on it soon ... still its good to know you`re out there in the Big Apple too, resisting Satan and the temptations of Farangi Culture by attending Paki-Eid functions in N.J designed to save your soul in the hereafter ...

Talibanization is inevitable, resistence is futile ... jahannum is around the corner ... inebriate yourself with the spirit of Islam ... all you truly need is an anguthaaa chaap biwi or 4, to produce you 9 kids (contraception is a Zionist conspiracy) ... and you`ll realize its not soo bad ...

What I fail to understand is why you didn`t show up drunk on the Eid Spirit (there`s a marketing gem of an idea, like Eid-Nogg) before the party, brother.

It seems i had the Eid you wanted to have, and I spent it in desi company ... though not at a desi function or dnner of any kind. And I had fun w/o gajar ka halwa or Sivayaan too ...

Wah`Salaam!

Omar Mirza

isnt this your second chowk piece shiraz saab?

funny but rough in places..you have it in you..just harness (not restrict) it a little more :))

i enjoyed it. sarcasm is my faveorite type of humor.

rizvi

Enjoyed the restrained humour Shiraz.You have what it takes to tell a story well.Thanks

ZAHRA:

This is not a reportage or a journalistic coverage of the event.This is the report about a person`s view & feelings alongwith his prides & predjudices.Isn`t that what colors the sketches of Life itself?

This guy has an ability to look at things in dimensions other than regular.I like the convoluted imagery.

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wassalaam.

First, let me say your writing ability leaves must to be desired!!! I had a hard time following your cliched language, but then I gather you have not been to writing school.

What offended me most was the manner in which you denigrated a writer of Bapsi Sidwa`s calibre and marginalised her words by one sweep of her ``Parsi`` background. I wish you had taken the time to understand the depth and intensity of her words and had been able to measure the respect that she has for our culture and our history. Something that I am sure you will not be able to appreciate let alone understand.

Your jibes on the function itself are too transparent! I must mention that it was a very well organised event and a large number of people managed to have a good time!!!

Oh Well

I hate Jersey City aNyWaYs!!!!

I HATE JERSEY CITY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm, let`s see...didn`t really laugh. Most probably because I have a dry sense of humour. Well, I guess you`re on the first rung of the literary ladder. Your Pakistani nature shows through the article. Us brethren have a habit of looking around our environment, see what everybody else is doing and then we copy it. Halal butcher shops, Leather jackets, grocery stores, doctors, Imran Khans, you name it. Let`s take the Chowkwalas, all we ever do is take the piss out of ourselves, weather it be Pakistan or Islam etc. etc. I guess you`ve done the same. Congratulations. You`re now a true Pakistani

Still, your article`s better than mine is so I can`t really talk.

Best Wishes

Omar Phoenix

I`m glad that you were finally able to make
it past the CHOWK Editors. But Shiraz Ji, just
don`t get too carried away here.
Enjoyed this writing. But I Will remember this week.First the Clinton lecture and then another Siddiqui on CHOWK. Reality has finally kicked in. The world is changing. What next?

Ras

Ylh, the function was not in Jersey city. It was in Lake Wood (I think). I live in Manhattan but had to travel a really long distance just to get there (path trains plus over $50 in cab fare). When I arrived at the Hoboken train stop I discovered there were no trains going that way over the weekend. So I had to make my way to the function with a cab driver whose command over the english language was as shaky as his command over the wheel of the car. When I was not shivering from the cold (he did not understand when I asked him to turn on the heater) I was shaking from the prospect of become part of some 18 wheeler.

Hilarious reading!! I can`t believe you even thought about wearing black to a Pakistani party...

Very funny.. Cant stop laughing!.

Now I know, why all the Pakistani guys flock to the Diwali and Holi functions organized by the ISA in my university. Where else will they

get to dance with girls.

May be I should attend my city`s Eid function, whenever it comes again. The city mosque is right next door to me.

And then I can dance with all the Muslim girls -- hopefully Pakistani girls, as I prefer them--- all alone with no competition from other guys. Good idea isnt it. I donot belong to any Muslim students` association and am not a Muslim, so hopefully the Abbaas, wont stone me and Allah wont throw me in the fires of hell, for dancing with girls :)

People any Pakistani function coming in the Detroit area, please let me know.. seriously.

And Shiraz, attend an Indian Students Association function - Diwali or Holi or Dandia, in the university xlosest to your place.The girls wont be nearly as good as the Pakistani ones, barring a few, but you will get to dance with desi girls. Think about it.

Satyavadi

hypocrisy , confusion, and a sordid tale of our DENIGRATED state...shameful!

wish we could think!

Wow, I thought they would never accept anything I ever wrote. Who was the unfortunate soul who allowed the publication of this ... this ... joy-filled misery ?

Refreshing and funny!

Please keep writing ....someday one of the pretty pakistani girl will ``Taras Khao`` on you!

Shiraz:

I have attended this Eid Millan in person and will totally disagree with your implied sarcasm. Y