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Lalita Pandit June 15, 2000

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#6 Posted by writer_77 on June 19, 2000 6:10:52 pm
Lalita,

nice thoughts. liked ``Time blackened

brick`` and also ``red sun sand``

I can feel the sadness and death. New and fresh.

Hamidah



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#5 Posted by ai on June 18, 2000 8:09:42 pm


Sounds like a romantic mortician`s

advertisement.



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#4 Posted by Neurogen on June 16, 2000 11:26:32 pm
What is this? A paragraph stretched to a poem. Needs more work in my opinion



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#3 Posted by taimurmalik on June 16, 2000 11:44:38 am
improvement required::))



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#2 Posted by Ras Siddiqui on June 16, 2000 10:36:46 am

A warm welcome to Lalita, a first timer on CHOWK.
I enjoyed this writing very much.
Don`t necessarily agree with Temporal but then
again I often don`t agree with Temporal....

Ras

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#1 Posted by temporal on June 15, 2000 1:49:32 pm
Lalita:

Welcome to Chowk.

(Some highly subjective thoughts.)

I enjoyed this till “....without thought.”

From “She imagines......” to “from the sea” looked a bit out of place. I understand what you are trying to say contextually but I cannot quite put a finger on this out of place feeling that it gives me.

Perhaps, if I come back to this another time......

regards

temporal




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Interact Index

    #6 writer_77
    #5 ai
    #4 Neurogen
    #3 taimurmalik
    #2 Ras Siddiqui
    #1 temporal

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