The Dream

Zeenat:

I winced at the awful formatting!

(Chowk Editors: Can it still be fixed?)



Another story in the finest traditions of Islamic heritage perceived and vociferously practised in the land of the believers!

The only redeeming feature perhaps was the ending --- agonising and painful as it was, it was short unlike Saima Sarwar/Imran`s.

Let`s do the ablutions for the namaz-e-janaza to be followed by the prayers for the heavenly ensconcement of the grateful and ungrateful dead.

sadly, impotently,

temporal

Every time I read this writer(which I have done twice), I feel like suggesting her/him to come out of their world of melancholy. The writer`s points are a constant repeat, nothing new. Bringing up issues/problems does not assist in resolving them. Coming up with a route/an alternative/a solution to resolve them is far more effective. Probably the writer needs to develop, an optimistic thinking pattern or the eyes to visualize, ``to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction`` myth. In other words, ``To every problem there is a solution.`` How you implement or excercise is the real test! I`ll look forward to reading something that is a solution to the issues the writer has been raising than another fictional piece.
[The reader can be enlightened on the current affairs/fiascos by CNN/BBC or other channels, but the reader will not see those channels working on finding solutions to ``our`` problems. Something to keep in mind.]

In the meanwhile, I`d like to propose an antidote:

No Comments.

Temporal, Fairdinkum, I give up.

THANK YOU ED

--t

depressing.... I need a dose of positive emotion now.

sadly, impotently, arrogantly bigoted

t

urstruly,
I haven`t read the piece yet...should I?
From the responses, I get the impression that it is gloomy...
I feel a little positive after reading Shandana`s piece, and I don`t want to feel gloomy this week.
Just say yes or no....

Regards,
Fairdinkum

temporal (with a small `t`)...the theme of the story is true ... it haunted me for months before i wrote it out as a fictional story.

zahra ..scout... i`ll make sure my next posting is optimistic ..lets brush the problems under the rug...;)

This ones sure left me sad and gloomy..

guess we need some relaxing,motivating and hilarious ones now...soon...

cheers.

RE: Fairdinkum # 8

On the contrary I was gloomy after reading Shandana`s piece when this one came as a comic releif.

But I would recommend that pick up any Urdu magazine and open the BehnoN ki Mehfil section and read this piece there. Just pick anyone of `em.

Regards

Urstruly,

Against your sound advice, I read it. Yeah, definitely belongs in Akhbar-e-Jahan`s teen auratain teen kahanian.

Zeejah:

An illuminating correction:-

Providing an alternative/ a solution is not at all synonymous to ``brushing the problems under the rug.`` Probably it is your way of seeing things; Unresolvable! An Issue!

This is the second time I have read your repeating theme. I voiced my concerns the 1st time and by mistake treaded on your article the 2nd time, and felt the same.

Kindly do care to develop some insights into enlightening the readers on how can the problems[you have been very activley identifying] be resolved ? Your perceptions ? If it is not your cup of tea, just ignore my comments.

Additionally,

a) If you intended to portray the dream as a ``nightmare`` - Ok, the message was conveyed.

Or

b) If you intended to bring up the maltreatment of women in our society, you did not enlighten the reader on anything! That`s where I`d prefer to illuminate my mind via CNN/BBC than a fictional piece.

Or

c) If your intentions were directed towards the chauvinist community and signal them to look into the mirror, and feel bad, I am not sure of your effectivity in that regard also. [Sorry, I cannot speak on their behalf.]

Note: My thoughts are targetted towards your thoughts typed in black and white, and not towards you as a person. I guess, when it comes to hearing the horrifying and terrible stories like that, I am too sensitive to read them as a fictional piece. Being a staunch believer, I have always believed that there is a resolution to all the issues, whereas, being a problem solver [an integral part of my field]I am out in the world taking steps, not ``brushing them under the rug.`` Have you been looking into that ?

It is the responsibility of a true WRITER to
weave ALL aspects of concern within a society.
Although this work is a part of what I sometimes
refer to as ``The Razor Blade Club`` at CHOWK, it
deserves merit for being well written and to the
point.
Full credit goes to the writer of this story
for hitting all of us readers with her literary
hammer. Bravo!

Ras

PS: temporal, reluctantly, once again I agree
with Reply #1

The ending reminded me of a Malayalam film `Adaminte Variyellu` (Adam`s Rib) from the 80s made by KG George. Its the intermingled story of three women, from three classes, one very rich, another working middle class and third the rich woman`s maid servant. The movie documents all sorts of unsupportable happenings in each woman`s life, mostly to do with unbearable men and their unbearable impulses. Finally, unable to cope, the rich woman loses her character, the middle class woman loses her very sanity, the lowest class woman ends up in a destitute home. But when she faces exploitation there too, for her no folding-sholding, she begins a rebellion. The movie ends with the maid servant leading a procession and the viewer gets let off the hook :-).

My advice is, make some movies, too. If one feels the need to look hard at the depressing stuff, one might as well win some international awards while doing it :-).

Sadhana

Something reminscent of Sidhwa`s `The Bride` here.. of course, I read that many years back and it`s a wee bit hazy now!

Ras #13:

Re: ``PS: temporal, reluctantly, once again I agree
with Reply #1``

Yaara kiya mushkil hay! Apna address bhaijiyay. Hum flowers, rooh-afza ya mitchell ka mango squash ya koi aur jannati mashroob bhaij kar maazi ko madfun kar daingay. Deal?

rgds,

t

Zeejah

Your story was well crafted and full of intensity :intensity of emotions, intensity of frustated dreams, a hysterical satire at the barbaric customs of a society that sent shudders down my spine. A good piece of work.

Cheers

temporal?: thought this was more of a paki tradition than islamic. i read somewhere that a wife of the prophet proposed marriage to him before he did.

u`d never see that in pakistan today .

not overestimating chowkian logic though - especially of those who quote the fair rhymes of `des`ree` !

`spose i`ll join u then.

``I don`t wanna see a ghost

It`s the sight that I fear most

I`d rather have a piece of toast

Watch the evening news

life ooooh life ooooooooooooooooooh life

doo doo do do.``

fantastic ;)

I reckon Zeenat is an excellent writer...Her contributions to chowk are noteworthy. We must not get carried away in criticising this piece. In my view, Zeejah is one of the best in business...

let me just add that while the topic is credit worthy and deserves a platform - i find critical appraisal of the article scant among the replies.

the fact is, the piece is cliche ridden and can become a vehicle for loony leftees.

it bears as much depth as some novelly titled bollywood film like `ishq` or something - and the many scipt permutations they offer.

beautiful young working girl - soon to be medical student drugged into marrying delinquent scar faced villager. who then rapes her. then she kills him.

i can`t really see this developed into palm d`ors material.

(apologies to the author though, it ain`t that bad - just find the replies too passive)

seeya

Zeejah`s writing was excellent. It was just depressing, but that`s alright. Not all stories have to be sugar coated.

By the way sadna, you mentioned making movies?

Pakistani dramas are really excellent when it comes to social issues. Why don`t you watch some.

Don`t look for nonsense songs though ;)

You`ll be disappointed.

Zahra don`t be so harsh :)

scout #21

Don`t take this personally, but I used to watch Pakistani dramas with interest and enjoyment, but the weird thing is, after being aroud chowk, I just haven`t been able summon up the enthu. But do recommend some good ones, I will be interested in looking them up.

Sadhana

A sad story. Surreal. Heard this story before in the form of an urban legend (A friend was told by a friend of a friend of a...of a friend who had this daughter who....). But never quite so powerfully.

But, I am moved to say that, in my opinion, it suffered from one serious shortcoming. Perhaps I`m being a tad oversensitive, but what I read was a very disgusting denomination of the mentally ill and handicapped.

Unintentional I`m sure, but Jawad`s character deserved a bit more depth and consideration. People like Jawad`s character shouldn`t be made into bogeymen. Use of his character to invoke pity and fear was in poor taste.

Temporal wrote (#1):

``Another story in the finest traditions of Islamic heritage perceived and vociferously practised in the land of the believers!``

I really don`t think ``Islamic heritage``,perceived or otherwise, enters the picture here.



-digit

A writer (or artist) is not a social worker, s/he cannot fix society`s ills. The writer (or artist) is like a mirror, reflecting what s/he sees. What they make of it, what they do with it is up to each individual. Some resent the bitter truth; some recognize what has to be done; each reacts in his/her own way.

Speaking for myself, I see the cure for most of the ills afflicting us as:

1) universal education;

2) alleviation of poverty;

3) knowledge of and a demand for ones rights.

How this is to come about beats me!

cliche ridden or not, the basic theme of the story is of an event that actually did take place....but the girl hanged herself in the real story.

Sometimes an author can take the mundane and turn it into something worthwhile. Sadly this one needs to go into the trash bin. No imagination and no wordplay. But worst of all is the hidden message looking for a male hand in everything wrong with women and society. Yeah take penis-envy to new and unfathomable heights. Bravo!!

later

-sac

My last post should have read `demonization` not `denomination`. Ahh, the faith I put in my wretched spell checker.

Fairdinkum: -

Your likeness for the writer`s work was duly noted! I am in no way obligated to agree with you and I suggest vice versa. With that said, please do not assume that anyone ought to agree with you in anyway! Got it!

Dear Zeejah,

I am sorry that you had to write this.

It must have been very painful. I am not going to make any comments other than thank you for writing this article so well.Very kind of you to share and we hope that we learn from it rather than pointing finger at the writer.

Thank you and keep the good work going. By the way your ``Enchanted forest`` was also a remarkable experience.Take care and hope to see you around .

Cheerio bye.

RE: Zahra #28

The writer got atleast one person motivated; that is YOU, Zahra. Don`t you think he did his job well. All my life I always beleived in that one tiny little raindrop-the first drop.

Re:Zahra #28

Zahra Bibi,
I hope you are well.

RE: Reply #: 16 temporal

My e-mail address is:

ras@chowk.com

Rooh Afza will be acceptable but ...

Ras

Zahra #28

I agree with the spirit of your post..:)

cheers.

I`m afraid this article was a bit...typical. However, I believe that it carried an important message: maybe it is seeming typical to us because we have heard of and seen too many Farzanas and don`t want to be reminded of their existence any more. Just a thought.

Zahra #28

Good post. Just consider, IF there was a telephone in the village, IF there was an abuse hotline, IF there was someone at the end of the hotline who could be sent to to help file and pursue a police report, or at least create a stink, taking care to avoid the wellknown legal/other pitfalls in cases of this kind, then future Farzanas in our countries would be just a little safer, though this one had to pay the price.

Sadhana

Temporal #1 wrote:

``Another story in the finest traditions of Islamic heritage perceived and vociferously practised in the land of the believers!``

Come on, you have to be kidding!!!

The prophet said, ``Pursue knowledge even if it means going to China.`` Any parents denying the girl`s education are acting in an un-Islamic way. The prophet`s wife Khadija was an independent businesswoman--he LIKED educated women.

Forcing marriage on any person, especially a woman is un-Islamic. A well-established hadith: A woman approached the Prophet and outright refused a match for herself with a well-respected person. The Prophet agreed that the wedding could not take place (because she did not agree), but expressed his surprise. She replied that she was not serious in refusing the would-be suitor, but had only said ``No!`` to emphatically establish the fact that the woman has an equal right in independently deciding her fate.

As for rape, I won`t even go there.

This story represents the heritage of mis-guided muslims...Who knows when we`ll get our act together...

Zeejah #26:

real writers don`t just reflect reality; they also hint at solutions. They go that extra step, which is what separates them from journalists. good writers just make it look subtle.

Re: princes

True Khadija was independent business woman but that was pre-islamic era!!!!

sadna #22,

Some good ones are Waaris, Khuda ki Basti (based on the novel), Sitara aur Mehrunissa, Aahat, Asavari, Ankahi, Tanhaiyan, Marvi, and others that I can`t remember off hand. There`s a good website that reviews dramas:

http://website.lineone.net/

princes #37

Well said!

Princes,

It was a relief to read your thoughts, good to hear that some are mentally alive. I hope the writer gains some insights from these interactions.

The prevalent irony among our people is - lack of:-
a)farsightedness
b)mental agility

They can see, write, read, listen, talk, smell, eat, drink, but they resist thinking. Personally, I abhor reading a weak flow of thoughts, no matter how damn articulate it may be! Anyway, one does not have to waste one`s time reading everyone. [

And he said: Speak to us on Giving ?

Re: Criticism on this piece

My first reaction after reading this piece was as follows:

“Urstruly,
Against your sound advice, I read it. Yeah, definitely belongs in Akhbar-e-Jahan`s teen auratain teen kahanian. “
Yes, it is not the best piece of writing I have ever read. And yes, it’s not subtle or spellbinding. And yes, it is not a very good example of breath-taking story telling…. I agree that it diminishes the pain and suffering that Farzana went through, and so many others like her have to go through in that unfortunate country we call “land of the pure.”

However, this is a true story, and despite it’s literary shortcomings, I appreciate the courage with which the author shared her experience with us.

Albert Einstein once said:
“When you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor”

And the following is for the mentally agile and farsighted lady – replace “man” with “woman” and “he” with “she” where relevant (with thanks to Brat):
“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.``

-- Teddy Roosevelt

PS. Some mentally agile people probably missed the subtle sarcasm in temporal’s comments when he said, ``Another story in the finest traditions of Islamic heritage perceived and vociferously practised in the land of the believers!``

Zahra #41
``I am tring to inculcate sense of responsibility and having a vision.``
I`m really happy to hear that, good for you. May your numbers increase.

``Overlooking that aspect``
Not really in general, I have to say. Maybe on this thread, yes.

Anyway, its a puzzle how and why so many(though not all),welleducated and wellinformed people with all the right attitudes and motivations in our countries tend to be `outsiders` with limited influence on the harsh everyday realities of the same system that after all created them, too.

Sadhana

scout #39
Thanks for the names and the website. I`ve seen Ankahi and Tanhaiyan, I`m not sure these were really aimed to present social issues in any compelling way ?
Sadhana

Wow! ... i know i am no great shakes as a writer... tho i do try hard! ... but this story seems to have got zahra bibi going... :)

critical appraisal always leaves the writer out, concentrating on the strengths and weaknesses of the writing itself... right?

Sadhna #44

“Anyway, its a puzzle how and why so many(though not all),welleducated and wellinformed people with all the right attitudes and motivations in our countries tend to be `outsiders` with limited influence on the harsh everyday realities of the same system that after all created them, too.”

I don’t know about India, but in Pakistan (and I suppose in most third world countries a similar situation exists) we have a small minority of ruling elite. They are also well educated and well informed, and they have devised very clever ways of keeping the majority of well-informed and well -educated & ill informed and uneducated people at bay. They regard people of Pakistan and the ‘state’ as two separate entities. State consists of the ruling elite and it is always fearful of the people… People are considered a threat and for the greater glory of the state, they are controlled and brought into submission by various tried and tested methods. The most effective weapon is violence. If they (anybody from the majority) insists on having a greater say, or if they are too enthusiastic about changing the harsh realities of every day life, they are threatened with, and more often than not, subjected to violence… I have been there and done that! Apart from violence, there are many other ways to keep the majority ‘outside.’

Perhaps you are aware of all this and a lot more, and understand these issues in greater philosophical / academic depth – and perhaps this is all too simplistic, ‘un-witty’ and ‘un-cool’ an explanation for you, but that’s how I understand it. I am sure one day we will be able to change things… small steps…. one at a time…there are things you can do even if you are an ex pat…and many people I know do their bit…whatever they can…even a letter to the local high commission expressing displeasure over government’s refusal to change the ‘honor killings’ laws is better than doing nothing….and believe it or not, but I started getting replies from them a couple of months ago….a pleasant surprise indeed!…I don’t agree with their explanations/excuses, but hey, at least they are listening and making an effort to reply…. It’s a start!

How will it all change? What are the steps we need to take? Will it all happen itself because of market forces and economics and technology and changing times and various other factors? I don’t know. I believe in evolution rather than revolution…a catalyst to speed up the evolutionary process would be handy…..However, the renaissance we are all waiting for may not happen for quite a while. It may be slower than what we would like it to be, but I am sure it will happen!

fairdinkum #46

Thanks for your reply, including about your experience and others`.

I agree that evolution is better than revolution. I just hope `right-thinking` people can do all it takes, (in both India and Pakistan) esp. wrt fundamental principles they believe in, say, such as equality for all and the sovereignity of representative government.

And at the very least, in both countries, one would hope the moderate public would stir itself to develop a little more nuisance value on every issue which affects them adversely whether dowry deaths or unemployment or `religious`/political intimidation.

Sadhana

It is unfair to evoke the name of the `Land of the Pure` in connection with every fictional account of rape. Let us look at this in this context:

If you have watched the movie, `Prem Rog`, in which a young widow is raped by her brother-in-law, would you in honesty, conclude that all Indian brothers in law treat their sisters-in-law the same way? I don`t think so!

Therefore, it is unfair to come to such a conclusion from a piece of fiction about `The Lan d of the Pure`.

To the writer: You tried your best to condemn others of their sins, but succeeded only in exposing yourself as part and parcel of the same society.

You senteced the heroine to death, because she was raped. Honor killing???

Your mind could not concieve `life after rape`, where she could redeem what she had lost. Avenge herself. Defeat her enemies. No, she was raped, so she had to die a sudden and meaningless death

shahgul #48,

Good points!

Re: actually, shahgul, this is not altogether fictional .. neither are the newspaper reports about what happens to many unfortunate women in squeaky clean land...the land of the pure...oh yeah!

Zee

WHat can i say..I`m gobsmacked at the content but amazed my yr writing..yet again you have written to touch the soul..this has got to be your best yet...the sadest thing...this being fiction i assume is not far from many truths in our part of the world...may we all learn a lesson and if possible go someway, whatever possible to eradicate such torture..

lov always da Twerps friend:))