Diary of a Moustache

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RE: Directly to you? How?

matha@foliage.com

Aur hona Qila Qamaa maThay ka....

Don`t send any email bombs, OK?

Almira # 34

That was cruel.

I wonder why beautiful people are always accused of being cruel. Urdu poetry is full of cruelty of the blessed ones and a lot of heart patients whose condition is worsened by you know who.

matha #33

Directly to you? How?

I`m actually trying to increase the number of replies to this article. :) We`ve made it to 33!

34 with this message. And you thought I was interested in your follies ;)

RE: The Umar Sharif Brotherhood

Do you really think I am from a Sharif family?

This reply forum has turned into a mukaalma between the two of us, and feels like EdInternet.

Feel free to forward any questions or concerns about my khaNdaan directly to me. I am sure one of the Chowkwalas would help you with it.

matha #29,

I got ittt! Mujhe saari baatein samajh main agaeen! Are you Umer Sharif`s brother?

mathaaaaa,

I just got the ``PS: I`m a bhungee in laalkurti``

joke.

I`m going to die laughing.

I`m a little slow but I do get them eventually :)

matha #29,

aapki baatein mujhe bilkul bhi samajh main nahi aeen. ya to main bahut hee bewaqoof hun ya aap intahaee zaheen. dudh patee wali chai mujhe pasand hai. aap mera mazaak to nahi ura rahay?

RE: Safayee nisf imaan hai

Now that the joke is lost (perhaps in the jungalaat somewhere), I must admit that there is a hidden message, and quite unintentionally so.

If you have ever visited laalkurti you will realize that I don`t work very hard. That translates to a lot of free time which I spend mostly at the Bhungee Chimaar Cafe, perusing internationally-reputed magazines like Ghilazat (English) and kaChra (Punjabi). I especially liked the article about personal hygiene called ``mut lai, galee suNsaaN ay.`` Do you like dudh-pattee?

Aap ka baal-safaa,

maTha

matha #27

a bhungee in laalkurti? fascinating!

Is there some hidden message in that description?

:)

Do you have any equivalent ``hot wax for the soul`` ?

-arun gupta

sobia #19,

Thank you very much. :)

sabah #20,

Thanks, I think we all are confused in some way or another.

Urstruly #21,

Thank you for the kind words. That sounds like an excellent book. I`ll make sure to look it up.

Beauty might play a role in the start of a relationship. But that doesn`t mean it`s effects last. After getting used to the outward physical beauty, what sustains a relationship is beauty of character and spirit. I believe in limits to everything. Getting rid of some unwanted facial hair for a boost in self esteem is nothing compared to the extremes some women go to in order to attain a sense of ``beauty.`` Their problems lie deeper than a slight lack of self confidence.

tahmed321 #22,

Thank you, I also see this article heading towards oblivion, but then what doesn`t with time. :)

srinath_p #23,

Thank you fellow East Coast``er``

It`s heart warming to see such positive encouragement for an amateur writer :)

matha #24,

That was hilarious. I especially liked the Laat kay Jungalat. What a great sense of humor.

Thanks.

Hi Almira,

Expressions written in most beautiful way. The zest(moral) is even more positive. Keep writing such thoughts and make this world a happy place to stay.

Cheers

Srinath

P.S: I work as software consultant in east coast.

As this article heads towards Chowk oblivion (aka Prev. 10), let me join the chorus of appreciation for an entertaining article.

Dear Almira!

The most powerful part of your article is the synopsis at the bottom. You are quite right in saying that the way we look dictates our attitude towards life and happiness.

Woman is the last creation of God. He put his best efforts to make it the most attractive and beautiful among his creations. It is also her God given right to manipulate her appearance to look at her best-though I have never seen an ugly woman in my entire life.

I would also recommend you and the other readers a book that just hit the shelves titled ``Survival of the Prettiest`` by Nancy Etcoff (Anchor Books, www.anchorbooks.com). In my opinion it is a good read for all ladies and those gentlemen who worship beauty and also like to discover their feminine side.

A couple of quotes taken from that book that might interest readers.

``The human face is really like one of those Oriental gods; a whole group of faces juxtaposed on different planes; it is impossible to see them all simultaneously``---Marcel Proust

``I can not say often how much I value beauty as a quality that gives power and advantage.... It takes first place in human relations; appears in the foreground, seduces and prepossesses our judgements, excercise great authority, and is marvellously impressive.``---Michel de Montaigne

By the way the article was a very well written one. But your synopsis got my attention more. I guess it is right that, ``beauty is in the eye of beholder``

Best regards

Almira, excellent piece! I really enjoyed reading it. You`ve successfully touched upon a subject which most women fret about! Hope to see more of your work on Chowk. :)

Thank you, chowk, for publishing my naive attempt at writing. And thanks to all the readers who appreciated and responded to this autobiographical tidbit :).

shandana: Thanks for the kind words and welcome.

Judging from the fact that I fall a bit short of being a female gorilla, waxing in general would be deadly for me. So I stick to the basic razor :)

By the way, I love your writing. I just read your piece about doctors in The Friday Times. Most MD`s are the same in the US as well.

veerish: I can grow a moustache on a second`s notice in case it becomes a major feminist movement. Nothing to worry about there.

temporal: Thanks :). Hey it`s not threading, it`s waxing and it will lead me to a better life, worry free.

Sheheryar: Speaking of male breasts, is there something you are hiding from us. Come on, divulge :). Just kidding. Thanks for the kind words.

Kabuli: Forget shaving. Why don`t you sport the ``George Michael look.`` Or you could just pretend to be some lovesick Devdas :). A poetic soul.

anarchistan: Did you know Donnie Walberg was the

guy who killed Bruce Willis in ``The Sixth Sense.``

He`s not dead after all.

futema: Thank you! I agree with you totally.

People made me notice and detest my moustache, it didn`t really bother me until they did.

taimurmalik: Thank you thank you, you are too kind, really toooo kind :)

subuhi: I`m glad you can relate to me in that sense. But I wouldn`t start waxing my daughters so early. It`s too painful for young children.

I`d let them decide for themselves when they are in their teens. Thanks for the appreciation.

ali: I think burkha`s are kind of romantic. I wish I lived in Lucknow in the 1800`s with a lover who`d give his right hand to catch a glimpse of my ``chandsa mooch wala mukhra.``

sadaf: We decide what`s important to us in regards to our appearance. It is affected by society, but the decision is ours. Good luck with the hair removal battle :)

Lubna: Right on. We should make a Hairy Women`s Association ;) Just think of all the things we could accomplish.

hamidm: No NOOOO I`m not a Punjabi film heroine.

I`m only 5`2, and of medium build, and I cannot shake my tush for the camera.

sarwari/aisha: I read ``The Bluest Eye`` a long time ago. It was a good book although I liked Morrison`s ``Beloved`` much more. Unfortunately the world is not perfect and we are affected by societal standards of female beauty. But I don`t believe that getting rid of a damn moustache is a big deal. And I`m sure having a moustache doesn`t marr a woman in the eyes of the world. For me, it was just an uncomfortable situation and I`m more confident now. Small price to pay :)

Solitude: Flattery or sarcasm? I can`t decide :)

I`m from New York.

musafir: Thank you thank you. :) I thought that something had to be written about female moustaches, thus I did. Otherwise it`s a taboo topic, especially amongst males, by females.

SORRY ABOUT THE LONG RESPONSE :}

Dear Almira,

You have expressed your fear in a very beautiful, postive manner.I `m glad that you are out of it after going through all those horrible procedures and nightmares. And, you are right that the way we look dictates our attitude towards life and happiness.(by the way looks could kill).One should do his/her best to be always positive and confident.

Thank you for sharing your personal

experience. Keep it up and hope to read more articles by you.

Cheerio bye!

awww ... you made my heart melt with that story ... where are you - you beautifully exquisite girl ?

Almira:

Salams. I really really enjoyed reading the article. It`s very well written. I do agree with you in that, if something is an obstacle to the way you percieve yourself, it must be removed. Although it`s a pity to know how propotional one`s need for ones own ``prefection`` is to the idea society defines as perfect.

``obstacles are those wiered things we see when we take our eyes off the goal``

I think once we begin to realize what beauty means and how appearances can be fake, and once we focus on creating beauty rather than displaying it, we begin to feel beautiful and that really reflects our inner beauty to the rest of the world.



My classmates told me, ``those who say beauty lies within are just trying to cover up their own ugliness`` :)

I know someone who has a dark upper lip that makes her look like she has a slight mustache. Yet something about her makes you know she is intelligence, and confidence mixed and brewed for ages. All the rest of the ``pretty`` (fair) girls looked like a pale shadow in front of her.

I was always conscious about the way I looked, and my perception totally changed. Phenotypic, instant recognition is what primates do, lets evolve! For a real change in the way we judge by looks, Read Tony Morrison’s book, “The Bluest Eye”.

``The Bluest Eye illustrates the possible consequences of entirely depending on external conditions for self-image, for in attempting to satisfy a paradigm that differs so radically from reality, African-Americans may destroy their essential nature. And in denying their natural gifts (or, as Morrison calls it, their ``funkiness``) in order to placate white expectations, African-Americans accelerate their self-destruction.``--Review by Karen Carmean, 1993

Once again, it was a great read!

Wassalam,

-Aisha

whats `sugaring`?

.....oye, muchh nain te kuch nain ..... anyone remember Naghma, Firdous, Zammurad and Aasia .... buxom belles who were the were the darlings of Punjabi fim fans .... moustache and all ........ beauty lies in the eye of the - at least that`s what National Geographic would have us believe ..... a bone through the nose ? Anyone ?

Thorougly enjoyed the article. You`ve touched a topic I`ve been thinking about lately. :) And not just moustaches, but all types of unwanted hair and the ways we torture ourselves to get rid of them. Electrolysis, shaving, waxing, sugaring, threading, bleaching, plucking, tweezing, creaming.. need i say more? Appearences do matter, but who decides whats attractive and whats not?

Anyway, hope to hear more from you.

Almira,

He he, loved it, loved it....... so funny and so true! Another seldom discussed battle we fight

(and win!) on a regular basis. I`m so happy for you and your new-found self esteem! :) Reminds

me of the pride I felt in my victory when I first got rid of my moustache years back.

And NOW I understand why I used to hide behind books and dread facing people as an

adolescent - it was the moonch!!!

- lk

Did you consider the shuttlecock burqa?

I really enjoyed this - who can forget the first time you see yourself without a moustache? It`s a moment filled with guilt (what will mom think?) and absolute delight (oh my god! so that`s what i look like under that!). My own moment happened at a girlfriend`s house in KDA, where her mom ran a beauty salon. We were both 12, and i was always envious of how my friend was so perfectly turned out compared to my own hairy, bespectactled looks. I just didn`t expect it to be as painful as it was - afterwards, i looked at myself in the salon mirror, a little girl with wet cheeks and a pink upper lip, and decided, much like you did, that it was worth it.

Incidentally, my mom didn`t freak out. Which brings me to my next point - i have decided, quite firmly, that when i have daughters i will take them to be waxed and threaded from the time they are a few months old. I`ve heard the Chinese do it, and dammit, don`t we deserve as much (or as little) as the Chinese?

great article..a bold one that too..

nice choice for a first on chowk..

you have succeeded in identifying yourself as a daring person..welcome welcome....

regards,

Taimur.

awwww, shooo shweet. best part about the story was the johnny nash song. didn`t donnie wahlberg, late of the new kids on the block, once say he loved chicks with big hairy moustaches?

the truly definititve question of our times, courtesy of slink:

``how do you feel about waxing in general?``

Almira, have you heard the golden rule for guys?... Never ever ever comment on a girl`s facial hair. I was told this by a guy.

I enjoyed your piece. And I agree with you that appearances do matter. If your appearance is affecting your self-esteem, then you should make a change if you can. However, don`t you think that we are overly concerned with appearance since society places so much emphasis on it? Your moustache may not have bothered you unless others had not commented or pointed it out. Bottom line in my opinion: we should determine what lengths we want to go to for our desired appearance. You have to be happy with yourself first before others can appreciate you.

And Veeresh...hmmm...I seriously doubt that a moustache on a woman will become a symbol of the feminist movement. As long as men are around, that`s a longshot. :)

All the best!

Almira,

A hilarious piece. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Moustaches ( beards also) sometimes are painful and bothersome for the `darker` sex too. I hate having to rip off the bristles off of my face every week. It is quite painful no matter how fine the razor is. Would you believe me if I said I too considered electrolysis for my face? But my pocket and the electrolocist wouldn`t agree.

Kabuli

Almira:

FINALLY A GOOD ARTICLE! Congrats on producing some original thinking and a very amusing (yet true) piece. However, I will add that on the opposite side there are boys with breasts. Pity one cannot wax them off!

Again, really enjoyed it.

Almira:

Welcome to Chowk.

Enjoyed the tribulations.

This `threading` will lead to where?

zmm,

temporal

PS: zmm -- zair-e-moonch-mooskurahat.

What happens if some day you want a moustache back, I mean, it may become some major feminist statement of the new millenium or stuff?

dear aamira,

parts of your article had me snickering, the ending had me laughing out loud. you`ve touched upon something many women worry about, but hardly ever talk about. what an entrance :) i welcome you and your moustache to chowk.
two seconds of pain is a small price to pay for a boost in self-esteem. how do you feel about waxing in general?


shandana