Residue of a Spent Time

Pallavi:

First, a warm welcome.

We need bold, daring and creative folks here.

Oh, loved how you painted THAT union of mind and body. The ‘nailing’ in second line conjured both images well.

The pleasure of fleeting moments against a background of our desi morality that brings ethical whims to the forefront at THAT time is enchantingly captured by you. Good phrase -- anxiety of the imminent. Great one word line - prick!

I will share with you another poem by a desi friend of mine, same age, gender and aspirations as yours.

Scorpion

I could spend hours
Stroking your hair with my fingers
Your serpentine curls streaked with white gold

Days on end melting
Under your firm, large hands
As you smooth away the knots from my shoulders

No accounting of time necessary
We could eat, and drink, and smoke, and talk
As we did all day, yesterday

I could wax poetic,
Wane lovelorn
Dream generally fitful dreams of you
And your self-confessed vengefulness

But when we kiss again
My intense One
Send your tongue`s dragon deeper into my heart

And let your finger`s serpent dive
Into cesspools on whose shores
It sat shyly, questioning
Poised to enter
___________________

Welcome, once again. [Don’t be dismayed by adverse inter-actions, if any. This is an intersection where all kinds of people traverse.]

love,

temporal

from Pallavi`s poem:

``nailing hard and deep.``

``pressing hard against the dome of sensitivity.``

``yet

dig into the living with that excruciating

prick

stretching for miles``

``to make a yard of a wound``

from temporal`s friend`s:

``And let your finger`s serpent dive

Into cesspools on whose shores

It sat shyly, questioning

Poised to enter``

Some ammuniton for the moral brigade to rant against.

BTW, like both the poems.

Satyavadi

Interesting.

Sounds a bit like my college going daughter describing a particularly hairy bus journey from defCol to DU . . .

Pallavi

Enjoyed this quite a bit.

``Vision offers pleasure/ perception and/ later ethics, damn it though``

So true.

Thanks for sharing.



t

Enjoyed your friend`s poem, too. ``My intense One`` made me wince, though. As, I`m sorry to say, did this:

``The pleasure of fleeting moments against a background of our desi morality that brings ethical whims to the forefront at THAT time is enchantingly captured by you.``

I know it`s just a reply, but still. You of all people... Anyway. Structure aside, I found the sentiments of the sentence quite interesting. Especially ``ethical whims``. If the poem itself doesn`t stir up the holy rollers, that sure will ;-)

BTW, got your hands on White Teeth yet?

Regards,
Jonathan

``Residue of a Spent Time``?

Title is trying too hard to be creative.

I could not exactly fathom the mood of the poem. I tried though. But there are parts which do hold you.

``present endures the anxiety of the imminent``

anxiety of the imminent..(couldn`t help agreeing with it)...may be because of the curiousity as to

HOW the imminent would pass us by.

``prick stretching for miles``

...hmmmm it can.

Nice one.

Are you inspired by any particular poet..?

pullu

liked both the poems...though temporal`s contribution was definately more thought provoking:)

keep writing.

Taimur.

veeresh #5:

Malik sahib, sounds like ..... well, never mind!


Jonty #6:

How are you? Or should I say where are you?

----smiling-----

you caught it right on --- try saying it without using orgasm! --- high rollers? ---- moral brigade?

The answer is no, for the last query.

rgds,

t

stretched for miles...the highway to heaven, ending in hell!

Good stuff!

The poem is short and good.

But just one question to whom it may concern:

If I pose as a journalist/writer from the subcontinent and write a poem/article hinting at sex or just plain out saying the word (Rehan Ansari`s Lahore Diaries XV), will it be guaranteed publication?

A cousin of mine sent in a beautiful poem about mid-life crisis which hasn`t seen the time of day on Chowk, but has been published and applauded on American (gora) publications.

What is it about the educated desi community and using ``sex`` as a provider of ``shock`` value?

Or is this just a sexual revolution desi style, but thirty years late?

Powerful imagery. Very nice, Pallavi. Looking forward to reading more from you.

Scout @13

I agree with you.

At least in literature, chowk should take the services of a person who knows about literature.

A piece might be simple and yet highly literary.

My mind sets on temporal for this, if he can spare his time.

Although I am well versed with Urdu literature and mainly read translation from other languages, but on chowk apart from few good selections, most of them are good for a school magazine.

It is not criticism. Different persons are suited for different things.

scout #13:

WHAT’S WITH SEX AND THE DESIS?
--or--
[

t-bhai #16,

PHEWWW. After reading your post I`m suffering from a bout of performance anxiety. (will my reply be as good, as lengthy, as thorough, as ``deep`` as yours). Let me recover...(breathes deeply)....

Okay here goes, you said `` sex is deliberately underplayed in our conscious human make up -- more so in our uptight desi context than in other societies -- ``

So maybe the reason why almost anything with reference to sex is published on Chowk, is that the editors of Chowk want to loosen the collars of the desi mind when it comes to this taboo topic? Maybe if we repeat the word `sex` again and again, we can open up people`s minds to it?

But I personally haven`t read an article yet which drives deep into the fears of desi society

when it comes to such matters.

``Show me a girl/woman there who has not been fondled once. (And yet when Shandana wrote candidly about that experience some folks here at Chowk reprimanded her!) Countless friends have told me each time they step out in the public there they FEEL they are being stripped of their clothes by ever-following staring eyes.``

I don`t know if this is due to the suppression of ``sex`` in Pakistani society. Don`t men of all races/nationalities engage in such behaviors?

The same thing that happened to Shandana could happen to any woman in any country where the legal system is weak, police power is weak.

Latin America and Africa for example.

``I would urge and vote for a more open examination of our sexual biases, thoughts, impulses, within the boundaries of decency.``

I couldn`t agree more, but I don`t see that happening on Chowk. All I see is anecdotal references/experiences of sex. Nothing going deep into the heart of the matter. Nothing exploring the desi mind and analyzing what makes us do what we do, and have the inhibitions that we do. Can`t someone write something meaningful about this issue instead of falling prey to this desi phenomenon of pseudo-erotica?

``As for assertion of thirty years I would like to know how you fixed that time frame. Anyways, whatever the time frame, it is never too late for a realistic desi examination of sexual mores.``

With regard to the thirty years, I had the Western sexual revolution of the 60`s and 70`s in mind. You are right, it`s never too late to examine the issue. But here, on Chowk, it seems like the issue is being skirted, not analyzed.

``As for the poem that was published elsewhere but not here: I would definitely be interested in reading it.``

I`ll email it to you after I ask my cousin for permission.

I know I missed responding to many points in your reply, but if I had replied to all, I`d have been here all night :).

take care

scout