Cocoa Butter and Strawberries: Florence Diary

wooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeee!
what a sexy poem :) it made me `nostalgic`for the days when i too could roam unfettered, junglee, alive, and cram every bit of life i found into my mouth.
uh oh...you might have re-awakened my appetite. expect angry mail from my husband soon.:p

zehra, zehra, zehra...i couldn`t sleep so i logged on...and now...well, i definitely can`t sleep now. did i ever tell you that even now ``blood rushes`` when i read ``the temptress at barnes and noble``? well, this work is every bit as good .

loved the imagery, loved the ``lyrics``, loved the...feeling....at times i could taste and smell this poem. a veritable feast for the senses...you go girl.

in the short time i`ve known you, you`ve grown as a writer, as a woman...so much. it`s very exciting to see, y`know...

i think we both had a summer of re-birth. details soon. promise.

-!K!-

dear F. Zehra Rizvi

i found your poem quite sensuous and evocative.

despite the hindisms/urduisms, however, also very occidental in its emotions.

i`m not sure if that`s just me, though.

regards

aakar patel

slink, K and aakar...

thanks...its a personal piece (duhh), written, as i mostly write my other stuff, in a fit of passion (the platonic, inspired, mused kind i reserve for writing)..
it needs revision so im glad you guys didnt nit pick at that stuff..its still a `gut` piece.

im waiting for temporal to come on and cringe :)

slink: is it still zarquon@.....i didnt get a response.
K: email.
aakar: no, its not just you....

rizvi.

Zehra o Zehra:

Why do you do this? Inflict and overwhelm us with your catharsis, this abreaction?

Overall, I enjoyed the poem. You took me back and rekindled those feelings and memories ----I was awed when I walked over those stones and lanes, the balustrades, parapets, gargoyles, the plants in the windows (digression: some one once mentioned that those plants in the windows acted as a ‘matrimonial ad’ -- sort of placed by the parents of age girls to attract suitors) and thought of all those artists, writers, sculptors who spent their lives there. And those exciting, thriving and dangerous times.

Different. Evident early on the corneas of the protagonist are amor-foggy (with your self-proclaimed ....)

[My beef: and you are a sweetheart, you won’t mind.]

Please be consistent with the format --- if you use small letters do it consistently ---- if you want or don’t want to break into caps at the end of a line or stanza please be consistent.

If your ever overcome your Khayyamish reluctance you can re-visit the line splits.

[ The moving finger writes/and having writ/ nor all thy pity nor wisdom/shall lure it back to cancel half a line -- Omar Khayyam]

I cringed -----at boring holes in unwashed eyes --- ugh! you got to seriously have another look at it.

buhat sara pyar,

t

PS: The email shall be answered.
PPS: Wherever you got the notion of aloo-bhujia --it will be ready!

PS:

[im waiting for temporal to come on and cringe :)]

Oye larki! baaz aajaa.

Avoid on air duel between Leopold von Sacher-Masoch and Comte Donatien Alphonse Fran de Sadeçois. :)

``I tasted the fragrance of desire``...PLEASE! Should you chose to use such boring cliches at least stand behind your work. You have put a piece up for ALL to read...don`t hide behind artsy statements that this is a ``personal piece`` and from the ``gut``...vault it in your diary. This is, at best, a Mills & Boon re-hash.

temporal: i knew youd give it to me straight :)
even though i did send this piece in, i cringed when it showed up...felt kinda naked. also not fully formed.
im still figuring out my line formats...i never used to use cap letters at all...its a start :)

nakir: mills and boons would use something more romantic than garlic to create a mood im sure...i just happen to find garlic really sexy. it has to be fresh though :) i like trashy romance novels...everyone should live one as far as im concerned.

rizvi.

Re: Zehra

Well... first of all, welcome back and secondly, keep up the struggle! :)

Your poem was really a throw back to more lazy crazy days which are now just hazy in the memory. Thanks for the memory`s deja vu and for the reminder that once there used to be care free days!

Ciao!

chowk seems to be ``hijacked`` by 4 ppl...u see them in every interaction.....

and...as its surprizing coz what tahmed and stud pointed out,is so TRUE.

zehra,

WOW!!! uneblievable poem..as I read it I could totally picture the thing in my mind, like one of those musical videos where they go through scenes of the romance that she is singing about..you know what I am talking about right? either way..excellent poem, and thank you for making my day...

zehra..

excellent piece of work..the passion that this was written with comes pouring out with each written word..i admire you for putting youreslf out like this, and truly expressing your thought in such a beutifl manner..

hamza

err... excuse me... cocoa butter doesn`t ``smell`` much... tis plain fat... what did you have in mind? Twice...

wowwwwww

the freshness of the lines and the flow of thoughts is so .....COOL!

the images of the poem paint a europeon environ ........florence or barcelona or tulousse ......tres romantique.......

is it like post industrialist......new economy.... kind of romance??

hi zohra......i think u r some kind of a real poet ....or something!

thats your first poem i read.....

n i remembered dh lawrence......

r u compiling a book or some thing?

jay

....laptop and garlic ! so now the desi programmers are polluting the cafes and bistros in Europe ? ..... not that there is anything good about europe - a dysfunctional place with highly unpredictable cusines and predictable bad service ..... the trains do run on time.......is cocoa butter supposed to be sensuous? cappuccino smiles ? .... as a daily visitor to Starbucks I should take a peek under that lid ............ what`s next - ``burbling mountain brooks`` or ``around the rock the ragged rascal ran`` ...... all english teachers should be quartered, hung and beheaded for putting silly ideas in our young impressionable heads ..........

frog goddess, try smelling it off of some warm skin...i recommend between shoulder blades or collarbones.

jamshed...if you want to fund me, sure i`ll compile something..

hamidm if i make brooks babble and ragged rocks run rascal, kill me.

rizvi.