Oh For Those Fries!

Dear Ayesha,

I am just one of those millions of women like you who make their own life a nightmare. All our lives we try to look like those gorgeous models/actresses with a perfect figure and skin. I saw this program The View from abc channel a while ago in which Joy, one of the host told the audience that when during a fashion show she hugged her model friend she felt like hugging a skeleton, as all she felt were bones, hard and cold.....

To be honest when did any man ever try to look like one of the stars to make himself desirable to his wife/girlfriend. You know why because we dont drool over a movie star the way they do!

Best wishes

PS. Have you read ``Brigdet Jones`s Diary``?

Interesting article.

Men and women are poles apart. We berate the opposite sex for the way they are and say we just don`t understand them. How many of us have actually tried?

Men, most men anyway, when they look at women other than the one whose live they happen to be sharing at the time, do so for the moment itself. A man may admire Kate Moss, personally,I find her TOO thin, but he remains with the one he has because he knows Kate will never be his. Women don`t seem to understand that, do they? They get all antsy and hysterical, yet they look at guys other than their own with a lusting that men can only dream of.

I don`t see anything wrong in the way you described yourself, Ayesha. But self-loathing is something people have to get over on their own. Somtimes ``the blade`` seems to be the answer but we all know it`s not. If people can`t expect you for the way you are, find someone who will. Or change their way of thinking. Just don`t kill yourself in the process.

well i just want to place couple of questions

i have been to india and i have seen muslims there in worst conditions

why incident of Baberi masjid took place ?

What else you would have expected as a reaction?

What do you have to say about what is happening in Kashmire?

may be i am getting a little bit off the track but still if you can feel so much about indians in Karachi u must have tosay somthing about mislims in india .

pullu #116:

thanx for explaining ``saransh``. i`ll watch it if it`s worth watching.

scout #115, #117:

``I never thought a cyber vomit could elicit such negative reactions from the weaker sex.``

that`s why they`re the weaker sex.

Urstruly #118,

who`s who in that scenario? i don`t get it, i have blonde roots.

RE: Scout

aur Basanti ka Gabhar Singh kay baaray main kia khayal hay.

(p)ullu #116,

*sigh *

tera kya hoga kaliya

Scout #re 115

Welcome back to the appropriate and desired mood. You may deny it, but you were put off ( I didn`t see any valid reason for it); may be you easily are.

Yes, you are right, But for physical strength, Man is actually the weaker sex. Woman is better in handling emotional stress and also has a longer life span. (Mard tho waise bhi aadat se lachar hain...)

In an ideal situation Ratio of women to every thousand men, would always be more. { Ok, that is not the case except in an Indian state, Kerela }

Rahi baat cyber vomit ki. People here, have fought cyber wars defending accusations against their religion, leaders and nations{and hurling more}, that includes You and Me. Phir aapney tho seedha ulti hi kar diya.

And hey, yeh aap mere naam se kyon khel raheen hain..itna pyaara sa tho naam hai mera. May be you are reading/writing it the best that you can. ;)



Lubna #113



Muqabla..? Woh tho hum kar hi naheen rahe the.

Aur kyon bhala....

What is red lightning? Lal, hari, peeli bijliyaan tho mere ghar ke pichwade mein jugnu ki tarah timtimati hain. { taken from film ``Damini`` }

I forgot to add this in my previous post.

Saransh means Summary. If you can, see the movie ``Saransh`` by Mahesh Bhatt.

Pullu

P.S. Kahin mujhe phoolon ki dukaan tho nahin kholni padegi..? ;)

(p)ullu,

I`m just kidding around with you. Don`t get serious.

Lubna,

I never thought a cyber vomit could elicit such negative reactions from the weaker sex.

Dear Ayesha,

Thank you so much for sharing. I am sorry that you had to go through all that. All I can say is that you are a wonderful person and a writer and I wish you all the best in every walk of life because you need it more than I could use it.I want to keep writing on an on about this article and you but I don`t have enough time on my side nor enough pages that I could write on other than my humble and sincere wishes.Hope to see you around and do take care of yourself.Please.

Regards

pullu #111:

aapko asal mein pata nahin tah aap kis say muqabla kar rahey hain.

scout:

don`t think he knew about ``Red Lightning`` :)

Lubna #re 111

Nice to see your spirits intact. Dookan dhoondney nikla tha ki kahin se ulti karney ki awaaz aayee. Mera mann bhinn (as one feels when he sees vomit) sa ho gaya. Main ulte paaon waapis aa gaya, irada badal kar.

Haan, shayad Miss understanding ho gayee thee.

I took your statements with all smiles.But same cannot be said about your behan.

Hum tho hamesha chowk mein hi the..aadat si ho gayi hai, maidan chhorrne ka tho sawal hi nahin hai.

Scout #



``Karwee baatein are more fun and elicit more controversial reactions.``

OOPS! Tho Phir itni der tak main

``Bhains ke aage been baja raha tha``?

{Please do not take the above statement literally, it is an odiom. It only means, jo aapko achhi laghti ho yaa phir samajh mein aati ho mujhe wahi karna chahiyeh tha.}

I would hate to indulge in ``karwee baatein`` for what started as jocular exchanges. :( And I wouldn`t want to continue in the same vein.

Pullu

pullu #105:

pullu bhai aap waapis aagaye? hum samajh rahey teh ke aap shayed jooton ka kaarobar shru karney ke liye dukaan dhoondney nikal gayeh hain. :)

``kahani ka saransh sirf itna hai:

Humour, is not your cup of tea.``

nahi bhai, bus zara misunderstanding ho gayi hai.

(btw, saransh kiya hai?)

bhai aap toh hamari baaton ko seriously ley gaye. aap ney kaha tah key aap khatron key khiladi hai... aur itni jaldi maidan chor kar bhag rahein hai?

You may be close sac. I probably read somewhere that the hip:breast ratio was close to 0.7. However I also read that the statues of females from various civilisations either exaggerated this ratio or underrepresented it. For example, we find H:B(hip:breast)ratio absurdly low in the statues of Khajuraho(too big breasts while too thin hip) while it is absurdly high for Indus valley civilisation.(refer to the famous statue of a dancing girl found in the excavations). May be sculptors like to play around and exaggerate things. Personally I agree with you. The number 1.27 for B:H ratio sounds pretty good. Afterall, I thinks males are more attracted to a girl with proportionate figure, at least in the first sight:) Well, later on, sustainence of this initial attraction depends upon several things.

To conclude I am not satisfied by this simplistic explanation of human behavior solely in terms of evolutionery or survival advantage.

To scout:

If you think mentioning that ``lip thing`` was in bad taste and demeaning feminism, I apologize. Actually I only stated what I knew.

Cheers

(p)ullu #105,

``I don`t know how but I think i touched a raw nerve. ``

What? How? When?

``I don`t know what in my post could make scout vomit.``

chichorapan

``Humour, is not your cup of tea. ``

coffee

``Meethi Baatein`` is obviously alien to you.``

Karwee baatein are more fun and elicit more controversial reactions.

``While I continue to sip my tea with a wry smile on my face, you can continue to ranter in all vanity.``

Vanity kahan say agai beech main? HELLO! Earth to (p)ullu!

``Humney Sau(100) loghon se poocha when a woman vomits what is the first thing that comes to your mind ?``

A chichora guy

re frog goddess #92:

I am afraid you are a little bit off the mark. Big breasts or hips by themselves are not signs of evolutionary advantage. If that were the case then Dolly Parton and Jennifer Lopez would have been the most desirable females around(I know there are some defective homo sapiens who find them desirable for their enormous body parts). The latest research shows that men from all cultures subconciously look for symmetry between the hip and breast size. I think the number was 1.27 or something like that. The research was done by some Indian professor at University of Texas(?) who went out and calculated the ratio for most women that men in various parts of the world found attractive. They all had the same hip to breast ratio. The professor concluded that the magical number triggered impulses in the male brain whereby those women were considered ideal for transmitting the human genes. Go figure.

I guess the area of attraction between the opposite sexes is too complex to be explained on the basis of a single theory.

later

-sac

tahmed..froggoddess..

this has taken quite and interstin turn.

it seemed like the more a guy treated a girl meanly or rude or uncaring the more the girl wanted or was into the dude...or something along those lines...does this hold true to men also...if a girl does it to the guy?`

and what bout..

the unga bunga days when men just grabbed women by the hair, hit them, and raped them..

Pankaj #102, ``Extending your thesis, I have also read why slightly open and moist lips of a woman are arousing for a man. ``

Male dentists really have their work cut out for them. Poor guys.

Lubna & Scout

I don`t know how but I think i touched a raw nerve. Well, I thought it was just a light hearted banter and did not intend it to be anything else. I don`t know what in my post could make scout vomit. { unless she has other reasons }

kahani ka saransh sirf itna hai:

Humour, is not your cup of tea.

``Meethi Baatein`` is obviously alien to you.

While I continue to sip my tea with a wry smile on my face, you can continue to ranter in all vanity.

In the mean time other things happening at the busy chowk are catching my attention.

Jaatey jaatey ek sawal..

{

Humney Sau(100) loghon se poocha when a woman vomits what is the first thing that comes to your mind ?

a. Uska Paon Bhaari hoga(pregnant)

b. Badhazmi (indigestion)hui hogi

c. Suffering from Some disease

e. Koi bloody scene dekh liya hoga

d. Somebody called her for tea/meethi baatein



}

Pullu the incorrigible

RE: FrogGoddess

So does it matter or it doesnt? I am dying with the anticipation.

Froggodess and Tahmed

Also I remember in medieval China(or Japan), females with smaller feet were considered to be more attractive. The Japanese males were so obsessed with smaller feet of women that women had to undergo inhuman pain and torture to hinder growth of their feet. How do you think this is related to increased fertility.



May be MacGupta can throw some more light on this subject. I recollect that he also shares some interest in anthropology and genetics.

Cheers

Tahmed and froggodess

Extending your thesis, I have also read why slightly open and moist lips of a woman are arousing for a man. This is because they stimulate the baser reproductive instincts of homo sapien males by acting as a cue to the moist pink lips of the aroused vagina of a Homo sapien female!

Well.... Anyway I think Marilyn Munroe exploited this technique to its fullest in her photographs and this is now a well known fact.



Such kind of anthropological explanations of the human behavior by ascribing it to the increased reproductive chances and hence survival of the species are fraught with several inconsistencies. Take for example big breasts and bottoms case. It is very well known that the aesthatic standards about the human female body were widely different in various civilisations and changed with time in many cultures. For example proto Australoids seemed to adore women with big lips and small breasts and bottoms. However ancient Indians seemed to be fixated by big bottoms and breasts as is evident from Khajuraho statues. It should also be noted that such standards also changed with time. Can your thesis of larger boobs interpreted synonymous with greater capability of providing nourishment explain it. Several other unanswered aspects arise if we aceept this theory.

BTW my favourite is Aishwarya Rai who has green eyes, medium sized breasts and bottoms. Infact I find big silicon implant breasts repelling.

Cheers

Re: escapist and urstruly

Err... I think people getting happy here for the wrong reason! ;)

Re:tahmed: Morris Berman make interesting reading also on similar subjects. Btw, your claim can only be verified by fellow apes.. I mean men! Are you now happy with my ``thoughts``?

hmm

froggodess....Chaa gayee hain aap!

nice nice..

fRog goDdeSs #92: My compliments on an excellent discourse, professor. Incidentally, on the subject of why men are attracted to women with big bottoms&breasts, I remember reading about it in Desmond Morris`s ``The Naked Ape`` who presented the same thesis. Only trouble is, I dont think men are attracted to women with big bottoms&breasts. Nor are male apes, I think.

RE: FrogGoddess

Phew! Thanks for the affirmation; that`s a releif.

RE: Scout

No just concerned about your well being:

1. Disorder
2. Disgust

Pick one.

Urstruly #94,

Rude aadmi

FrOg GoDdEsS:
[Let me count all the alphabets]:-)

I am impressed by your authentic and clear-cut articulation!

Very Well Articulated Points!

Qoa`rnish

RE: Scout

Why are you vomiting? Tell me one of the two reasons.

urstruly #90,

what?

First a defence of men and why there are different (acceptable) standards for men or women. Someone mentioned ``big breasts, tummy and round bottom``. Remember the only true instinct all biological life has it to perpetuate its genes. Doctors,midwives have been around for only few hundred years. Homo sapiens for about half a million. A round bottom indicates to a man that the woman will dilate better during labour thus increasing his chance of a healthy off spring. The large breasts suggest an increased ability to nurse and provide nourishments. Hence the biological basis for this fixation.

Women are more selective (less promiscuous) because they bear the greater burden of gestation and child rearing.[Newsweek points to exceptions to this rule]. The right strategy for men is to sleep around; for women is also to sleep around but more selectively. Women should look for big

muscular men who can hunt and gather food. Penis size or round testicles are not proxies for it. Hence women don`t talk about it except in disgust

or to drive a point home. Of course since the ``pill`` women are not taking the risk of getting pregnant every time they have sex. Hence an increased propensity among women in the West in the last three decades to have sex with various partners.

We in Pakistan live in two (or more) very different societies simultaneously.My driver is no more aware of ideas and his surroundings than guys 3000 years ago. People on chowk are hopefully on a different level. There are many in the middle, albeit closer tomy driver. Most people don`t know why we go for the attributes we go for; they go by animal instincts. But it is almost not fair to expect better. But just as sex without conception is barren, so sex without any mental compatibility is too in this day and age. We have after all moved away from caves. But perhaps not mentally. In that we are like slink`s barnyard fowl or any peacock who allocates scarce resources to growing a plumage just to impress peahens. But then again plumage is a proxy for a healthy peacock with good genes, so it makes evolutionary sense for it to do so. It could have used these resources to develop a better immune system, but it is willing to give up a little longer life for the chance to mate with a more desirable female and produce better off springs. One would think we`d not worry about plumage in men and women anymore, but 4 billion years of evolution is not to be ignored.

khatron ke khiladi #88:

hum taras kha kar mu`af karney waaley teh magar aap ney toh hamari behen ko upset kardiya. yeh hum bardasht nahi karsakte!

aap ki baanyee ankh sahee pharak rahi thi. lagta hai joote khaane ka time aagaya hai! aglay jahan ka pata puchha tah na: JAHANUM!

RE: Scout

hummmm, Vomit, eh!

Pullu #88, ``Meethi baatein!..arrey aap kar key tho dekhiyeh...line lag jayegi..aur haan apni saheliyon ko bhi saath lethey aaiyega.``

EXCUSE ME while I go vomit!

Lubna #86 { to scout too }

{ the partners in Joota crime }

Point to be noted your highness:

Man does not forget the woman who has ``rejected him``.

hence aapka yeh thark(argument)

``because he can`t find any other women stupid enough to fall in love with him again.``

- does not apply.

Chaliye aap ne keh diya aayega tho zahir hai aayega ;) lekin woh ``jahan`` ka patha tho aapney diya hi nahin.

You need men so that you can throw shoes at them..! Aap kaun se market se jootey kharidti hain? Wahan tho jootey barrey mehenge milte honge?

Hum mardon ke saath itni na-insaafi...itni bhi zaalim na baniyeh kabhi taras kha kar ``phool`` bhi phenk dijiyey. Naa baney tho phool humse ley lijiyega. Kasam Khuda ki, bada sastha sauda hoga..!

``care to join us? hamara kaam asaan ho jaaye ga. aap saamney hon gain - aap ko ``pyar`` say samjhana aasaan ho ga.``

Patha nahin kyon meri baanyee aankh phadak rahi hai. Haan bhai hai koi, Lubna keh ``pyar`` mein ``doobne`` wala. { I look all around..koi nahin hai } Yaaney ki mujhe hi bulaya gaya hai.

_

_ :0 { hair raising adventure }

Urstruly for explanation ? Why, has he already opened the import-export shop? Poor guy! ;)



You don`t know many MEN with a good sense of humour.CHo sa..ad. Don`t worry, aap rehti kahan hain..CHaliye patha bataiyeh...

Scout # re 80



I don`t need to worry about YLH or Jay. I come to chowk to have a nice time not to spoil my mood or anybody else`s.

Yes, we have differences. Our view can be told once, may be twice, but over and over again...is beyond my capability and comprehension. I just move on to another topic, another person. Simple.

Meethi baatein!..arrey aap kar key tho dekhiyeh...line lag jayegi..aur haan apni saheliyon ko bhi saath lethey aaiyega.

Temporal #78



Nothing is in the air T. Just that itney achhey topic ko bhi logh ghaseent key waheenn ley jaa rahe The.

Aur mere baarey mein chinta mat karna...main khatron ka khiladi hoon.. in dealing with people.

I don`t pray, I dream Louis Bega ishtyle.

Haan...Kate Winslet ho yah Kate Moss ...kya farq padta hai..they all are same..all are lovely.

I firmly believe, there are only two types of women- beautiful and very beautiful.

So you see temporal, not much of a choice. Enzoy!

[ thinking more about the air temporal, we are separated by continents.So what is in the air..?]

Aapka,

Pullu

t #85:

oh! haha! thanks for clearing that up - here i was thinking about subscribing you to a couple of fashion and showbiz magazines as a gift for your next b-day ;)

have a nice weekend...

scout:

yep, we rule! and pullu has no idea how dangerous we short women can be with those platforms and stilletos we wear.

pullu:

sorry to interrupt your tea...

``Man never forgets a woman who rejected him... be....cause he continues to love his love forever.``

because he can`t find any other women stupid enough to fall in love with him again.

``World is in a mess..? Naturally so half the world is full of Women.``

yes, thank god for that, otherwise the world would have been a COMPLETE mess!

``Actually ... We should have more. :) then I won`t need to feel ``Mera number Kab aayega?``.``

beta, aap ka number aayega. agley jahan mein.

``...women will undergo genetic mutation and become hermophrodites. Men will all jump in the nearest well. Main tho waise bhi woh din dekhne ke liye zinda nahin rahoonga...``

you`ll be the first to undergo genetic mutation if you continue like this. aur aap woh din kiya, kal ka din dekhne ke liye zinda nahi rehna chahey gai.

``And what are the different reasons you need men for?``

joote maarney keh liye being one reason...

``Yaar koi Lubna aur Scout ko sudharo har baath main yeh tedhi oongli se kyon kaam chalati hain?``

hum nahi sudharney waaley :) urstruly, please explain to pullu.

``lagta hai iss baar jootey-chappal naseeb mein likhey hain.``

jee haan - kis size ka chaaley ga? mera thora chota shayed parh jai.

``Kabhi chowk ke kisi kone ke tea stall mein baith kar ek cup chaye peethey hue kuch meethi baatein bhi kar liya kijiye!``

care to join us? hamara kaam asaan ho jaaye ga. aap saamney hon gain - aap ko ``pyar`` say samjhana aasaan ho ga.

(btw - you have a sense of humour. don`t know many MEN who do :))

scout #79 and Lubna #84:

Ma`azrat:

When I wrote... “Pity the platform shoes are no longer in vogue. The macho man can add barely an inch while you can still add a 4-5 inch heel.”... I thought it was clear I was about taking about the macho pehlawaan adding inches using those platform shoes not the sinf-e-naazuk :)

Hum itnay bhee ghayab dimagh nahiN haiN! Must be something in the air. TGIF ;)

love,

t

Ashi #73:

``...what I was talking about in the article was actually a serious medical problem that has recently created a big ho ha in the West... women when they feel guilty after a meal tend to slit NOT THEIR WRISTS but their arms or thighs... these women are under the misconception that by loosing blood, they are loosing weight...``

Isn`t that what we were talking about anyway? Eating Disorders?

t-bhai:

platforms not in vogue? ever heard of the spice girls? think you SHOULD get some teen magazine... or maybe ask your kids... :)

[Which bring me to a serious query. After a long trans Atlantic flight when you land at 10pm in zero visibility and 20” of snow on the ground who do you pray to for a safe landing?]

Definitely not who pullu`s probably praying to right now.

Urstruly #76:

hehe... funny... think you ARE on some pills.

shankar #72,

WELL SAID!

Urstruly #77,76,

Have you been talking humor pills lately :)

Pullu #75, ``Yaar koi Lubna aur Scout ko sudharo har baath main yeh tedhi oongli se kyon kaam chalati hain?``

Woh kya kehtay hain, seedhi ungli say ghee nahi nikalta?

``Kabhi chowk ke kisi kone ke tea stall mein baith kar ek cup chaye peethey hue kuch meethi baatein bhi kar liya kijiye!``

Stop reading those women`s digests. By the way, I don`t think Chowk has a kona jahan ``meethi meethi baatein`` ho sakain. If there was one, who do you think YLH, Jay, and RSaxena etc. would engage in sweet talk with?

By the way, you`re post was hilarious.

Lubna #69,

Yeah short women rule! (high five) :)

t-bhai #70,74,

First you don`t know who Kate Moss is, then you don`t know who Kate Winslet is, and now you don`t know platforms are in vogue? HOLY MOLY. You should start reading ELLE. By the way, if I was a guy, I`d go for Kate Winslet. What a face!

Regarding Kate Moss, you said ``woh jo skeleton tumharay kamray kay ik konay main rakha hu`a thaa oos ki behan hay.`` hehehehee

pullu #75:

Agar aap Khuda ya Bhagwaan par yaqeen rakhtay tou hum du’a kartay kay aapki jaan bachch jai.

[Which bring me to a serious query. After a long trans Atlantic flight when you land at 10pm in zero visibility and 20” of snow on the ground who do you pray to for a safe landing?]

Grab a sleeping bag and some change of clothing and head for the local Amnesty International Office. That’s the only place I can think of to brave out what is (surely) going to be hurled your way.

[Yaar, aaj kiya ho gaya hay sub logouN ko? Hmmmm... must be in the air]

Urstruly #77:

Hmmm.... must be the last few on planet earth not to have seen Titanic. And it is not that I don’t watch movies. Only good ones! My favorite is the home made 120 min. long colour video of the other yours truly sitting on a rocker smoking, pontificating, gesticulating, and ......Oh, I could never tire of watching it in fact I will go now and ......

regards,

temporal

RE: Temporal#74

yeh doosri woh hay joy Titanic kay saath doob marnay say bach jaati hay and her `heart goes on and on`....

RE: Ashi #73

The subject is not only suicidal but also paranoid delusional. The fact that the subject insists on adopting the personality of one Akram and not her real self that is Ikram suggests the seriousness of her condition. In my expert opinion a close monitoring of the subject is highly recommended.

Lubna #re 63

Male psyche...! I know women have not understood it yet! Man never forgets a woman who rejected him... be....cause he continues to love his love forever. { taaliyan taaliyan bhaiyon... taaliyan } Boy, do we ``fall`` in love, humney tho janata ko mitti mein milte dekha hai.

World is in a mess..? Naturally so half the world is full of Women.

Actually ... We should have more. :) then I won`t need to feel ``Mera number Kab aayega?``.

But going by your`s and Scout`s many replies ... according to the theory of evolution...women will undergo genetic mutation and become hermophrodites. Men will all jump in the nearest well. Main tho waise bhi woh din dekhne ke liye zinda nahin rahoonga.

And what are the different reasons you need men for?

Yaar koi Lubna aur Scout ko sudharo har baath main yeh tedhi oongli se kyon kaam chalati hain?

India-Pakistan,Hindu-Muslim, Mera Minority aur tumhara Minority, Gandhi vs Jinnah se waisey hi hum puk gaye hain aur ab yeh Man vs Woman...pheeeeeeew!

Kabhi chowk ke kisi kone ke tea stall mein baith kar ek cup chaye peethey hue kuch meethi baatein bhi kar liya kijiye!

p.s lagta hai iss baar jootey-chappal naseeb mein likhey hain.

Frog goddess #re 67

Women`s sense of humour...? Extremely rare..and I have had the fortune of knowing some Women who had a good sense of humour.They could actually understand humour. GREAT! ;)

Lagta hai ab jootey-chappal ke import-export ki dukaan kholni padegi.

Chai peete hue

Aapka

Pullu :)

JB:

Yeh paRRho gay tou tumhara mood aur bhi kharab hojai ga.

From the latest Chowk Poll: Men like Kate Moss more than they like Kate Winslet.

Yeh doosri bhee kaun hay humain nahin pata! Woh pehli kay baray maiN tou yaarouN nay batadiya tha keh woh jo skeleton tumharay kamray kay ik konay main rakha hu`a thaa oos ki behan hay.

chalo bhago,

t

Hey guys…. And now it`s my turn.. believe it or not, I went through all 63 replies and ended up feeling like the vomit my baby sister decorated the dining room table with….. what in the whole world gave you guys the idea that I attempt to commit suicide in the article… .. pleaseeeee.. I love life far too much for that.. and while men may be ok for running errands and petting, they are not worth slitting wrists for… now if I was a lesbian and my pardner dumped, that would be a different story….. I might even slit both my wrists then…..what I was talking about in the article was actually a serious medical problem that has recently created a big ho ha in the West… women when they feel guilty after a meal tend to slit NOT THEIR WRISTS but their arms or thighs… these women are under the misconception that by loosing blood, they are loosing weight….. it has now been proven that loosing blood has nothing to do with weight loss yet a lot of women continue using the blades…. Guess I should have elaborated a bit more….anyway, it`s great to be here……. Ayesha Javed Akram…. And oh by the way, if any member of the chowk staff is reading this, please note that it is Akram and not Ikram

I`m a psychiatrist in private practice in a small town in Michigan. I`m getting very alarmed at this epidemic of eating disorders & distorted body image. This has pervaded in every strata of American society. I`m reading that women in India are also succumbing to this madness. In fact, now that globalization is an accepted fact, this nonsense is spreading faster than AIDS. I read an article where they surveyed women in China during the 60s. 90% said they were satisfied with the way their bodies looked to them. A similar survey carried out in the 90s revealed only 10% of Chinese women were satisfied. The difference was that companies like Revlon, Avon etc etc started their ad campaigns in China.

Forget my professional life. I see this in my personal life too. The other day I was furious at my 14 yr old daughter who announced that she would only drink skimmed milk rather than whole milk. The child has the perfect body weight for her age & height, but she thinks she would look better if she lost 10lbs.

I have ongoing arguments with my wife. I`m perfectly satisfied with her figure. However, she wants to lose weight too because she thinks she`s too fat. In my eyes she looks more attractive than the day I married her 19 yrs ago. Sure she`s gained a few pounds since then. But by no stretch of imagination would I consider her fat.

The argument I get from women (patients, wife & daughter included) is that it doesnt matter what other people think; they have an inner representation of what their ideal figure should be. If they dont achieve it, then theyre doing something wrong. Of course, their ideal figure is what is splashed on the covers & ads in contemporary women`s magazines.

I`m furious at the damage done by these ad industry types . Who the hell are they to determine what beauty should be? Nature has given us an instinct to look good to attract a mate. Once a couple falls in love, looks should become less important as time passes. After all, even Miss Universe will not look as good with the passage of time. But there is a multibillion dollar industry that wants women to feel unattractive, so they will continue to buy their products.

Have any of these Madison Ave types ever figured what men want? I`m not talking about the pseudo-sophisticated men of GQ; but ordinary Joe-schmoos like me. Kate Moss is a complete turn off to me. In fact none of the figures of these supermodels are attractive to me. Sure some of them have pretty faces, but the whole package--pardon my crude profanity--is a ``khade lund ka dhoka!``. (Please dont pounce on me, scout:))

If I had to fantasize a naked Kate Moss, I`m liable to throw up rather than drool.

Am I a freak of nature?!

Ms. Ikram,

This boyfriend character has EXTREMELY poor taste. I`ve yet to meet a desi guy who drools over Kate Moss. But this BF might be a gora for all we know.

Never heard of ``heart sinking to the buttocks`` (or thru the buttocks?). Very innovative.

Pls. keep writing at chowk.

Lubna #69:

What was that - vanity thy name is ......:)

Pity the platform shoes are no longer in vogue. The macho man can add barely an inch while you can still add a 4-5 inch heel.

Arun Gupta or the Happy One: What are the stats on average male heights on either side?

love,

t

hey scout!

don`t lose heart - just visit pakistan. major boost to confidence as far as height is concerned. i`m 5`2 as well and every visit to pakistan helps me become less conscious about the fact that i`m short. even the heads of the guys constantly staring at women are at eye-level! :)

t:

what was it - gidhatun fitnatun?

Laughter is usually a great medicine to help us(as in women, just for this artcle guys, no offense) cope with some of the realities in our world. The writer`s story was so sweet and funny, at first- that never-ending struggle with stopping at KFC on the way home- maybe an emotional need (for men and women); And then as the harsh reality cut in- an almost suicidal play with those blades may be a deeper depression that surfaced in those few minutes in the bathroom.

So many issues surround this woman and sadly her only outlets are periodic visits to fast food places- small sanctuaries in subarban america, and regular handlings of sharp objects in the corners of her home- a home with `loved ones` that unfortunately can not even imagine of such happenings or maybe choose not to.



Isn`t it unfortunate that this woman sense of self is determined by a `fiance` that she thinks she is not good enough for? Why does she not have the self-worth to find a man that is worth all the wonderful things that she has to offer? Why is she reduced to a lesser life?

This aricle that may get passed lightly, and then soon forgotten by some as another woman`s sob-story, is actually a quiet cry for those willing to listen. A lament to the society for all that is wrong in this woman`s world.

Maybe someday enough pleas will have been made...

s

Why do women wonder that a woman`s mind or her sense of humour dont even enter into a guy`s calculus when he is talking and thinking about her. There can be a ``like`` (sense of humour , intelligence etc.) and there can be a ``like`` (``round tummy etc.``) but i doubt one can locate a boundary where one ends and the other begins. I think the two likes form a continuum. I know of no relationship that has survived merely on the physical.

Re#46: I am not Ayesha!¿

re: dettol

Not to tread on slink`s sensibliities or anything - but I really do like that one ;)

Lubna #63,

hehehe, you rock!

``Most of the desi guys do take it for granted, regardless of their looks, that they can end up with the prettiest girl around.``

The trend now is for the girl to be pretty and educated (bring in the money honey).

``most women in Pakistan are not as demanding of men as far as appearances are concerned as the men are of women.``

I rejected a proposal once because the guy had dimples (shirley temple type), but I couldn`t tell that to my parents, so I told them I got bad vibes from him. I know it`s awful, sorry God :(.

To even things out, I also have been rejected for my appearance (my thigni 5`2 frame). :)

God is just.



scout

pullu #44:

``A woman never forgets a man who loved her and a man never forgets a woman who has rejected him.``

Says a lot about the male psyche doesn`t it?

``Life for Men ought to be simple..

Khana,Peena,Sona aur Mona.``

Ji haan. Iss say ziyada aap mard hazrat ka zehen bardasht bhi nahi kar sak ta. Otherwise the world wouldn`t be in the mess it is in right now. ;)

sac #58:

Men should (I never said they shouldn`t - like you said: better for women) and a lot of them are. I agree with you 100% about the need for the majority of desi males to work on their looks. Most of the desi guys do take it for granted, regardless of their looks, that they can end up with the prettiest girl around. Mainly because most women in Pakistan are not as demanding of men as far as appearances are concerned as the men are of women. Priorities are different - women would rather go for the personality or have someone who`s financially secure, etc, while men have to have a gori lambi larki (no matter how dumb she is). Desi guys are so obsessed with looks they can`t even stop staring at the ladies on the streets.

``But then I forget who needs men.........?``

Bhai, humnay kab yeh kaha? Without men guzara mushkil hai. ;) Don`t worry - we need you guys just as much as you need us women. For different reasons.

-Lubna

Zehra #51 & Scout #53:

hehehe.

well..thankfully i am still almost a decade away from being in a position to weigh my options:)

but well scary it is,even if Zehra` version of the song is read;

``aik garam chai ki pyali hou

koiee us ko bananay wali hou

chahey gori hou ya kali hou

seena say laganay wali hou..``

and scarier if scout`s version is accepted;

``Ek thappar marnay wali hou

Aasman say zameen pay laani waali hou

Koee duniyadaari seekha nay waali hou

Haywan say insaan bananay wali hou``

hey btw. have you seen the movie `bachelor`?/

regards.

Taimur.

Could someone please tell me whether ``Zehra`` and ``Zahra`` are the handles of the same person. Because I know one of them hangs those people upside down who misspell her name/handle.

I am a safety conscious kinda guy-that`s all.

re lubna #38:

I think men SHOULD be insecure about their looks. Considering the physical shape of the majority of desi guys who consider themselves God`s gift to women that would be a welcome change for the women-folk don`t you think? But then I forget who needs men.........? Playgirl is probably surviving thanks to a largely desi readership :) The rumor is they wanted to bring out a desi version but couldn`t find enough desi models :)

re slink #45 and specualtion about my nick:

I am so sorry that my nick has contributed to upsetting your primordial pH balance. I have been trying very hard for the last few days to come up with a new one. I`ve narrowed down the choices to `lavender`,`jasmine` and `dettol`. Please let me know if any of these still offends your sensibilities or forever hold your peace.

Thanks for your kind words. Till the next conflagration.........

re dL:

death-wish? You know better than that.

re Zahra:

I am still waiting for your reply.

later

-sac

Mista 321

You write:

* *aNy, you write ``p.s= is it just me or are most of the ppl here arguing just f0r the sake of arguing?``

It`s just you. * *

``er...umm... what`s a sac?``

u sure bout that?

oh and thats anNy with two a`z...(cant beat em, hell!join em!)

Dear scout (#11)

I am sorry if you were offended by my contribution. I was however, merely referring to the exact physical attributes she describes herself as having whilst looking in the mirror...read it again and see (8th paragraph). Of course I would not usually use such language addressing a stranger on Chowk, but I felt that it was not out of tone with the piece.

I was also trying to make the point that what Ayesha sees as perhaps her physical imperfections (breasts bottom tummy)as compared to the skinny skeleton Kate Moss, are in fact things which are sexually alluring in a womans body not only to me, but to most men I know.....I guess my point was Ayesha, you are a real woman with a real womans body....take pride in it because I for one consider it more appealing than the waif.....

Hope that clears up the misunderstanding

regards

Harpreet

Forget Kate Moss & never turn down a zinger.
Welcome to CHOWK but no razor blades please.
We already have enough Pakistanis committing
national suicide here.

Ras

anamika #52,

:(. Why drag me into the ``sac`` controversy?

Ask slink.

As far as I know:

``sac (sk)

n.

A pouch or pouchlike structure in a plant or an animal, sometimes filled with fluid.``

But seriously, I think ``sac`` stands for his initials: eg: salman ahmad chaudhry, sohail ashraf chugtai, steven aaron connely, who knows....I`m just guessing.

hmm..all i have to say is..does Miss Ikram has a web presence....

i was wanted to look at her pic or something...

buss aisay hi...

Zehra #51

``aik garam chai ki pyali hou

koiee us ko bananay wali hou

chahey gori hou ya kali hou

seena say laganay wali hou..``

You forgot to mention these lines:

Ek thappar marnay wali hou

Aasman say zameen pay laani waali hou

Koee duniyadaari seekha nay waali hou

Haywan say insaan bananay wali hou

PM #49

``er...umm... what`s a sac?``

Ask Scout. She knows.

taimurmalik:
male desi `friends` have said to me, when i think its time to get married and settled down, i`ll go talk to my mother. she`ll find me a beautiful rani and i`ll get married.

how much of a thinking process, difficult decision making and weighing of options goes into that?

its a freakin` acquisition, not a marraige...
i heard a song from i dont know which indian movie..goes something like this:

aik garam chai ki pyali hou
koiee us ko bananay wali hou
chahey gori hou ya kali hou
seena say laganay wali hou...

it gets worse where the hero of our song sings about his woman waiting for him at home, dinner on the table, decked out and ready for some of his superior lovin`

scary, isn`t it?

aNy, you write ``p.s= is it just me or are most of the ppl here arguing just f0r the sake of arguing?``

It`s just you.

Dear Ayesha Akram:

Loved it.

``He was too busy concentrating on the rosy – tanned parts of her, on the curve of her waist, on the sweep of her hips, on the thrust of her pelvis``

hmmm...well isn`t that claiming to know a little bit tooo much about the male psyche..

I mean for all you know..your fictional fiancee` might just have been faking the whole thing trying to make you jealous..

I am sure Ms.Kate was there in his mind long before you entered his world and that he must have weighed his options vvverrry vveeerrry carefully before getting engaged:)

keep writing.

regards,

Taimur.

er...umm... what`s a sac?

How come no one said anything about Harpreet`s stupid little #5 while my #11 (in response to #5), elicited the ``had kardi`` from Pullu and a ``boy oh boy`` from Satyavadi?

Devi #43:

My apologies. Wasn’t trying to avoid or ignore you. A previous interact # or even a simple ‘t’ would have sufficed. These days my PPP (Premonitory Psychic Pager) is mostly quiet. May be the batteries:)

Come to think of it, must make a mental note to have the hard drive between the ears re-formatted. Too many clusters of memories, here and there. Affects the mental performance. Animal instinct are thankfully unaffected. So .......... like I was saying ........oh yes ..... your post #12: .... your article?....your contribution?......what I usually do?......kindly elaborate.

(Oh! By what I usually do you mean THAT ---- please be rest assured ---- save for certain jay thackeray I don’t have a mean bone in my body --- we all have to have exceptions so the rules fit in --- have explained before I do THAT in a very subjective and positive way --- always encouraging the creative to be more creative though not at the expense of negligence and disrespect at the altar of Devi of Words.)

Tell us you are not Ayesha ?!

love,

t

PS: Shandy #45: I empathise with your primordial concerns. Hope sac sacks it.

sac #37

you`re absolutely right, i apologise. i`ve also been wondering what it is about interacts with you that makes me babble about cyclones and armpits, and i`ve come to the conclusion that it`s your choice of nick. `sac`..it just provokes a very primodial reaction in me. i shall do my best to fight it, i`ll beat it into a corner with my feather duster.
as for the clarification regarding your first post, well, all right then. just as long as you dont make any generalizations..`cause you know i never make those :)

lubna #re 38

Sorry for barging in. But since you included MEN, I choose to respond...only to agree with you in toto. Male species too is very conscious of its` looks. The difference is that they most of the times avoid discussing the topic. Men generaly talk about what they are good at. So if they are handsome, (like my friend, who stands still anywhere he sees his reflection)then they are very sensitive to their appearance. Rest prefer to put a brave indifferent face.

Trauma of rejection...i read this somewhere..

``A woman never forgets a man who loved her and a man never forgets a woman who has rejected him.``

you say:

`` Haan bhai, pakaa pakaya khaney ki aadat jo hai. Can’t you guys do ANYTHING without our help? ;)``

Ji bilkul sahi farmaya aapney. Kam se Kam Main tho kuchh nahin kar Sakta aur karna bhi naheen chahta.Dupattey ki chhaon mein i prefer to cuddle like a pup purring and licking her cheeks. :) Oh NO!! I am dreaming again....

dullabhatti #re 27



I always knew that women are interesting.

I understand that God first made Man then when he was confident enough, he went on to make a Woman.

Scout #re 11

Hadh kar di aapney...! ;)

Life for Men ought to be simple..

Khana,Peena,Sona aur Mona.

{mona darling is any girl}

Pullu

Dear t:Please (re) read #12. I guess i forgot the ``dear t`` part.

w0man!

finally sumone who luvz that zinger as much as i do!!!wat say we meet up and worship it together sumday?

hafta run...i hear the new deal...250 for all u can eat...caaaaaaalling

anNy

p.s= is it just me or are most of the ppl here arguing just f0r the sake of arguing?

Eating disorders due to an obssession with appearance are a sign of a deeper malady. A girl/woman should not depend in such a life-threatening way on the vagaries of others, men or women or magazines for her own feelings of self-worth or feminity.

What if the cause of estrangement were more serious and took place later in life when more was at stake for the woman, in terms of years of love, trust and shared life? Would it make sense for the woman to consider herself worthless enough for razor blades, then? The same argument holds good for men, too.

The fact is that the final word in defining a woman`s feminity or the bigger issue of self-worth ought not be granted by a woman herself to another without a good reason, which I can think of, is love and respect. Then I could agree, the woman is vulnerable for no fault of her own. In most other situations, men and women ought make peace with their own limitations, easier said than done :-). And unfortunately women reflect the mores of the society they live in, as much as men do. Having an influential advertising industry helping set those mores doesnot help.

Its interesting to notice that many men do feel they hold the right to define a woman`s feminity, even of relative strangers. This sometimes reveals itself when there is a difference of opinion on any matter, as a clinching argument to put down the woman, a reference to her `unwomanliness`.

Patriarchal societies defined the identity of a woman for her, by her birth, by her beauty, her marriage, by her children, but then there was some security and autonomy within those limits. The `protection` of those hard-to-impeach boundaries is now diminishing.

IMO, men are similarly circumscribed wrt to others defining their identity for them, but its much less or nothing to do with their masculinity and more to do with their `situation` in life. Now a release from that awaits a `mens liberation movement` , if only they would take time out from obsessing over women :-).

In conclusion, life is not fair and we all do out bit to make it so. And as someone`s placard said outside a beauty pageant `swimming-suit contests are unfair to all women`

Sadhana

slink #32:

Cynicism aside, I blew it initially. I should have known. The doctor who violated my body recently told me about food, weight the whole nine yards.

I should have been extra sensitive and perceptive. I wasn’t. Ayesha carried the narration forward in a deceptively disarming way. By the time blood oozed I was thinking funny Jawahara.

But then what do I know, a man?!

fozia talked of self worth. The way we see issues though our cultural gender oriented prisms it is more than that. Quite fascinating and complex riddle it is.

[..i think you should swap life threatening experiences with arif :)] ---- some day before they lower the casket, promise.....for now can’t hack a flight of over five/six hours...but do tell Arif ...anything behind a skirt and for the sake of flag arguments cut little ice these days...and should and DO work both ways ... same goes for promiscuity ... some engines warm up instantly some take longer ... god, I didn’t create the genders(!)....yes, yes ‘we`re all territorial’

‘but i`m rolling off the issue lane...’ may I? Why do so few of the 50% of 140 milllion can carry themselves well in shalwar-kameez? Surely, it is more than posture awareness....

love,

temporal

jbutler #31

JB:

Dair aayadd; droost aayadd :)

I blew it big time didn’t I? Khair ---- haiN aur bhi ghum zamaanay maiN Kate ke siwa.

Mahajirzadeh has compartmentalized Life in four requisite intermingling chambers: company, food, book and sex. What more can a transient in Hotel Earth ask for? (Work? Heck --- that’s a different orbit!)

Good Company: to play, learn, teach, converse, discuss, sort out, identify, resolve issues generated by existence.
Good Food: whatever the taste buds dictate. Caveat: eat to live not live to eat.
Good Book: really, there are no ‘bad’ books. Using the Shaikh Saadi dictum --- (one can learn from the naive and fools as well mistakes and errors the sane should avoid.)
Good Sex: any consensual act (within broad societal parameters.)

Big time hug and welcome....

---t

re slink #33:

As usual you seem to reserve special treatment for me.Please lighten up.If you had read my post carefully you would have noticed(I hope) that the subject of my ire was that small subsection of women who want it `all` and at the same time too!! Yes there are women being married to the Koran in Pakistan and yes there are women who are chopping off body parts of their husbands and getting off scot-free but that was not the topic under discussion.I had also pointed out the importance of cultural factors in the whole marriage business which you`ve tried to discount.I am merely pointing out the hypcocricy of the feminist banshees when the luck of the draw takes away 36-24-36 to 32-36-24 and men are blamed for the aftermath. God must be male. That`s it.

later

-sac

temporal #17 I think the ladies did not mind one bit. After all, worrying about bodily imperfections - real and imagined - is kind of cute and even healthy for these ladies (unless they carry it to extremes, as in this article, when it becomes merely sick). It is the men who wrote earlier about this article who need to start worrying about themselves, I think: folks who have a belly and a double chin and are proud of it; others who ogle women in malls and are proud of it; others who passed derogatory remarks on someone who has done them no harm (Kate Moss in this case, whoever she is).

sac:

Can someone please tell me what would it take for the less than `genetically gifted` MEN to stop feeling insecure and stop caring about what the world around them thinks about their appearance?

Why do we always leave the male species out of the equation when it comes to discussing looks? Regardless of their looks, most of the guys I’ve known and do know are just as obsessed and insecure as women when it comes to this department. Sometimes it`s at a subconscious level but the insecurity is definitely there. And there are countless men out there who’re suffering from eating disorders for the same reasons as many women. Men are just as susceptible to low self-esteem and misconceptions regarding the perfect figure as women. You mentioned Brad Pitt – he’s Kate Moss for a lot of men. Women stop eating in vain attempts to emulate her while men workout and pump steroids to become like him. The fact that women are more open about this than men is a different matter, but it’s not fair to continue singling out women when it comes to issues related to appearances.

However, your point re women branding men as “shallow and mean” for having unrealistic expectations of them as far as physical appearances are concerned, while they themselves have even higher expectations of men, is valid to an extent. It must be tough on men to struggle to meet these expectations and still face the trauma of rejection. But then it’s not any easier on women either like slink pointed out.

Urstruly #15 :

``It is in their hands to change the perceptions of a man about a ``perfect`` woman. `The hands that rock the craddle......` you know what I mean.”

Haan bhai, pakaa pakaya khaney ki aadat jo hai. Can’t you guys do ANYTHING without our help? ;)

Most of us women have conditioned our perceptions of the “perfect” man according to our needs and desires. For a lot of women looks are not a part of these, while for others the wallet is not a feature. Are the desires and needs of men as shallow as Kate Moss?

-Lubna

sac:

what have you got - a death wish ?

Ayesha:

This left me feeling bothered. If the issue you`re trying to highlight is eating disorders, I hope this is a fictional account. Otherwise the girl needs to get some serious help. Call me insensitive but I`ve always failed to understand the logic behind most of the reasons given by those suffering from eating disorders for their condition. The reasons you seem to be giving are Kate Moss and Men. As sad as it is, perceived notions of the perfect figure and the opposite gender are good enough reasons for most of those who’re suffering from these disorders. Talk about low self-esteem. Are they really worth giving up the fries for? In fact, is there ANYTHING worth giving up food for?

As for the writing, it was well written but I think you over dramatized the story from the razor blade part onwards. Also, your attempts at humour could have been worked at more. But please do keep contributing. It was an interesting read. And thanks for that piece of info on goat tongues – I know someone on whom I’d love to try that. Only problem: goats not easily available where I live.

-Lubna

sac...

``no self respecting woman admits to having a lack of suitors.`` i dont think anyone with any kind of self respect, whether woman or man, would brag about their suitors. anyone who does so is indeed shallow. also, if your comment is directed at women in general (as opposed to the oh so traditional examples of classic eastern woman we have on chowk), the only point you succeed in making is that you live in a box... a very small box..in somebodys armpit...and the sweaty hair follicles are obscuring your vision and prventing you from seeing that in our part of the world a significant percentage of women have no part in deciding who they`re going to marry. agar rishtay ki baat hoti hai to everyone doesn`t traipse merrily to the boys house and watch him bring in tea or lift up the napkin over his head to examine his features. might i also suggest you scan the matrimonial section of any newspaper. ``my sister..fair..beautiful..domesticated`` as opposed to ``my son..MBA..seeks fair, pretty girl with eastern values and a green card.`` it`s entirely possible we have a genuine complaint.women are still being married to the koran.
however, that doesn`t mean that men are the only ones who`ve contributed to the establishment and subsequent maintainance of the status quo.

ayesha,

welcome to chowk.it`s good to see you writing about something other than movies.
my initial response to the article was to wonder whether the use of humour actually took away from such a theme, after scanning the replies i see i was wrong. other women seem to have understood. do keep posting on chowk.

temp..about the reference to the days when you were inexperienced and naive and actually gave honest answers to the questions your wife asked you..i think you should swap life threatening experiences with arif :) the best defense he has offered to date is `just because you`ve ordered doesn`t mean you can`t look at the menu,` a statement that makes me see red because it`s all too easy to indulge ourselves under the umbrella of `we men can`t help it.` of course you can. what makes men think they`re the only ones drawn to..well...anything that moves. someone made a reference to a newsweek with sex on the city on the cover, another recent issue carried a story detailing how recent discoveries suggest the female is generally the more promiscuos of most species. you could argue that our traditions are based on a realization of this and an unwillingness to share the fruits of sexual independence, otherwise why set up a structure that divorces women from opportunity?
if y`ll wish to ogle at one woman when in a relationship with another one at least be subtle about it. we`re all territorial in one way or another, just because women dont pee on trees to mark the boundaries of their kingdoms doesn`t mean they dont want respect for it`s borders.

but i`m rolling off the issue lane. the issue is eating disorders, and quite frankly i dont think thats a problem in most of Pakistan yet. unless not eating healthy food or having to give the prime half to a male member of the family can be considered an eating disorder. if anything, being thin in pakistan is frowned upon, people see a skinny woman and they want to feed her. if kate moss came to pakistan she`d probably be force fed.

women talking about food, big feet, small breasts, bad posture etc is no more trivial than men releasing testosterone by engaging in pointless cyclical arguments about religion, kashmir and politics that have little to do with compassion and reason and more to do with scoring points. there`s a certain kind of barnyard fowl that swells it`s chest and flutters it`s plumage...
anyone who takes this article as representative of every womans mindset is only demonstrating their ignorance of all things feminine. we`d like to give you this much importance, we really would, but of the 500 women who`ve commited suicide in pakistan so far this year, 60% did it because of economic despair.

re zahra #18 and scout(who as usual is causing a storm in a teacup):

``Why should a woman(or man) get married?`` I think the answer is dependent more on cultural factors than most of us believe. Pushing aside our home countries, out in the west I agree that there is no absolute reason for one to get married(temporal`s ode notwithstanding :) Since there is more of a level economic playing field, one sex should not have a greater urge to tie the knot than the other. Reality is maybe a little different. When someone who famously proclaimed ``A man to a woman is what a bicycle is to fish`` gets married at the ripe old age of 66 one stops and wonders why? I don`t have a problem with women proclaiming their independence from men. What I have a problem with are the reasons given for hating them. Men are accused of being shallow and holding women to unattainable physical standards hence bulimia and anorexia and low self-esteem..........and further on we read juvenile attempts like this to heap scorn on their favourite targets.

Here is what amuses me to no end. No self-respecting woman(married or unmarried) admits to having a lack of suitors. Most of them are proud of the fact that they turned down so many of their potential beaus for various reasons ranging from baldness to lack of financial ambition. And yet when men turn down women because they lack the looks of Cindy Crawford or the figure of Christy Turlington they are branded as shallow and mean and out to destroy the self-image of the women......HUH?????? Nobody stops and thinks about the ``jazbaat`` of those potential suitors :) Shouldn`t they be lining outside GQ magazine complaining about the hits to their self-esteem?

When women look for Brad Pitt look alikes with a wallet to match they are looking for brain and brawns and when men look for Sonali Bindre`s missing twin sister they are accused of living in a fantasy world ........HUH????

Till the time evolution,cybersex or medicine renders one of the sexes completely useless in the grand scheme of things I am afraid we are stuck with one another. And unfortunately me and my brethren will continue to be held responsible for the ``plight`` of the bulimic women-folk.

later

-sac

P.S: Now will you please answer my question?