Desi Olympics 2000

RE: Ras Siddique

I wish you hadnt open the stink hole. I always thought that you were above that.:(

Ras:

There are better events than Gilli Danda. Here’s my top ten.


NEW OLYMPIC EVENTS: FOR SOUTH ASIAN EGO

10: Who’s first out of a closed railway crossing.
9: Pigeons: 32 mile marathon.
8: Pigeons: 400 m dash over loc.
7: Pigeons: 2x50 m over Girl’s college fence.
6: Most assorted vehicles covering 10km/day on an undivided road.
7: Most posts on any Desi E-zine (only after ISI/RAW contain Yasser)
6: Highest tally in 24 hours cross border firing. (uniformed personnel only.)
5: Most killed in unarmed/civilian plane shooting.
4: Mosque/temple demolition competition.
3: Highest kickback deposited in numbered accounts.
2: Quickest time to jam a jumbo toilet in flight.
1: Mine is indeed bigger than yours competition

---t

59/1 = 59
1/0 = ?

:-)

one has to admire the pakistani journalists’ capabilities in displaying such jehadic fervor while criticisizing india even in sports. Bravo!

you are so right mr siddiqui. India should not be allowed to become a member of the unsc - for it failed to win medals in the olympics. And while you are jehading for it, it would only make sense to launch another mini jehad for the removal of canada from the g8 - for winning less gold medals than ethiopia.

And why worry about whether the chinese can code or not? As long as they can steal it, you can rest easy. Just a bit of land here and there, and they would pass it on to you as well!

Have you given the ny times or the sj mercury a try, mr siddiqui? a journalistic talent like yours with such a penetrating grasp on world affairs surely deserves a wider audience.

temporal:

why the preferential treatment, sir? no critical review of the article from `english` p.o.v. :-)

Re Kabaddi--during the Asiad in Beijing, it was introduced as a trial sport. The chinese sent a group to India a year or so before the event. Incidentally, they beat India to win the event--though the gold did not figure into the final Asiad count.

Olympics are staged to honor ‘First World Athletes’ .. and that is the bottom line .. sure one can argue that few African and under developed European countries (Romania) countries get those medals .. Look at the Athletic events , there is Volley-Ball and Beach Volley-Ball, Baseball and Softball and hell now they have all these stupid sports in which Americans and European excel .. Why cant we have Cricket as an Olympic sports .. It did show up as an Olympic sports in 1900’s Olympic .. the only match played then was between England and FRANCE! Now that brownies have stepped in the ring with 1.7 billion + and always growing sub-continental fans why cant we have one day Cricket with regular and tape ball .. why not .. han The Americans and Europeans have started playing it yet thats why JIMBO … even Kabadi and Somo ( I bet we can win a Somo medal if we pick a Gunjranwala Pehlwan) why not .. American Fatso softball team can play Kabdi well ..

And to top that all .. more like a root cause is the non existence of sports culture in the subcontinent region .. parents, society does not approve or encourage the youth to participate in Sports … for the ones who some how come in sports/athletics there is no coaching and infrastructure .. well I can go on and on

BUT (a big butt like the one that Pitcher of American softball had) the event is a representative of American And European athletics … not subcontinent or other countries (except for China and Japan) who some times get a ‘candy’ for participating .. Thank you very much third world athlete you might wanna buy a Trampoline to win a medal in the next Olympics!

ras siddiqui,

As RSaxena would say, we don`t have proper sewage systems in the area, who cares about the Olympics.

:)

t-bhai #2,

hehehe, you`re turning into a desi Letterman.

hilarious!

There is a black youngman from some African country who immigrated to Canada few years ago. He came in contact with some Sikh youth in British Columbia (I wonder how did that happen:-)) and started playing Kabaddi with them. He is such a good player that no Kabaddi tournament in North America is complete with out him. They have named him Tofaan Singh with affection. Obviously he can pick the whole Indian team and carry them past the line.

Guess what? Tofaan Singh has what it takes to be a sportsman. He also wrestles and have won a Gold Medal in Sydney for Canada.

Most of the Punjabi papers are finding solace in the fact that atleast ``their`` Tofaan Singh has won the medal:-)

I wonder if any of our Rustme-hinds and Rustme-jahans of the the past actually took panga with soemone outside their state.

temporal #2.

I agree that if the Olympics were culturally sensitive, they would include the events you list and Gold Medals would we showered upon our South Asian Jawans. I would therefore not stop with ten events geared to give South Asians a chance to show their talents. Here are the next ten:out from exhaustion.

2. 100 meters freestyle: The one who reaches the airport ticket counter first, having broken

1. Discuss Throw: The aim being to continue to discuss and argue after competition has dropped through the line and pushed aside weaker opponents, wins. Those pushing aside women with children get special mention.

3. Long distance marathon: The aim being to steal money and run as far away as possible. The race starts in Islamabad, and the finish lines are at either London (for silver medal) or New York (for gold medal) airports.

4. Ach-thu: (Exotic name, like jiu-jitsu, for a local sport) Largest volume of spit on other guy`s face (or religion, or ethnicity, or whatever else you think the other guy considers personal business). Contenders from India and Pakistan, having been well trained on internet, are expected to make a clean sweep.

5-10. Gotta go: Fail to live up to word (I win this one, since I got to attend to some unimportant business now).

temporal #2. (This replaces my previous post which I screwed up while sending hurriedly).

I agree that if the Olympics were culturally sensitive, they would include the events you list to show their talents. I would therefore not stop with ten events geared to give South Asians a chance. Here are the next ten which would cause gold medals to be showered upon our South Asian Jawans:

1. Discuss Throw: The aim being to continue to discuss and argue after competition has dropped out from exhaustion.

2. 100 meters freestyle: The one who reaches the airport ticket counter first, having broken through the line and pushed aside weaker opponents, wins. Those pushing aside women with children get special mention.

3. Long distance marathon: The aim being to steal money and run as far away as possible. The race starts in Islamabad, and the finish lines are at either London (for silver medal) or New York (for gold medal) airports.

4. Ach-thu: (Exotic name, like jiu-jitsu, for a local sport) Largest volume of spit delivered on other guy`s face (or religion, or ethnicity, or whatever else you think the other guy considers personal business). Contenders from India and Pakistan, having been well trained on internet, are expected to make a clean sweep.

5-10. Gotta go: Fail to live up to word (I win this one, since I got to attend to some unimportant business now, and so must stop at 4).

Re: Ras

A slightly different article from you!

I am not sure what you were lamenting about! You really did not except India or Pakistan to really win anything, did you? :) LOL

There is one sport in, which India and Pakistan excell and I think, it should be included in all major international events. It is called Babulethon! Who ever is the most obtuse and the most prone to making a mess out things, should be awarded the gold medal for sheer stupidity and incompetence!

I am not sure about the composition of the Indian contingents, but Pakistani contingents have more officials than actual sportsmen! Being over paid; over weight; overly vain and excelling in mediocrity, nothing hopeful should be accepted from them!

Ciao!

I think somewhere along the way we have all forgotten that the purpose of the Olympics is not to win, but to participate; to walk the 400m on the opening day. More than an being an athletic competition, the Olympics show us how commmon boundaries - that is, the quest of man to better himself (faster, higher, stronger) - transcend all else.

Baron whateverhisname, the father of the modern Olympis daid something along the lines of ``It is not winning that is important, but knowing that you tried your best``.

Rafay

PS: Sorry if this throws a spanner into an otherwise fun (and witty) reply thread.

concerned #3, why such knee-jerk reaction? Ras is so very accurate about the failure of us. Let us face it. This is really a shame, but until the governments in South-Asia clear up their mess and set the priorities, this will happen every four years!

Regards

Sure, we performed dismally at the Olympics. But I am proud that for the first time in Pakistan`s history, we fielded a woman athlete, Shazia Khan (I think that`s her name), in track and field. Bravo Shazia!!!!

Dear Ras Siddiqui,

Enjoyed the funny aspects of your piece. Well written too!

You forgot to mention that my country (now Australia), a tiny nation of 17 million people, won a massive total of 58 medals (16 Gold, 25 Silver, 17 Bronze) - 4th on the list of medal telly, ahead of all European nations (except Russia) and all Asian nations (except China).

Merely 6 days after the Olympics, when Olympic mania subsided, the council of Australian scientists and researchers condemned the Australian government for spending an estimated 15 billion dollars on sports, and related areas in the last 4 years or so as opposed to a mere 1.6 billion on scientific and other research. For the last three years, the prestigious Australian of the year award has gone to sportsmen.

I have no idea what kind of money is spent on European athletes and US athletes. I suspect billions of dollars… Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to compare India/Pakistan to these giants (in terms of resources, not population)? Forget about billions, how many millions of dollars are spent on training, coaching, providing world-class facilities etc. to the athletes from subcontinent?

I thought, I should set the record straight for the benefit of your American born daughter. I am sure she`d understand :)

concerned #3:

welcome back... so you still can`t resist pelting your favourite `song man`, can you ?

Cheraym,

Hi,

I won`t have bothered to put a reply here, but for ras`s attempts to link sports to politics. On one hand, we hear the pakistanis criticize india about refusing to play cricket with them. `we should keep sports separate from politics` is the argument put forth by them. Then there is an about turn and sports performance is linked to eligibility for unsc, counterweight to china, ability to code/uncode, and everything else on earth.

But for the words `saffron brigade, emerging superpower, claim to unsc, moral support` and such, this article would not get my attention. Is there anything new in this that is not said after every olympic?

Crypto,

Hi,

Thanks for the welcome. I am sure a song would be forthcoming to reduce me to smithereens! Can’t wait for it.