The Burden of Virginity

CENSORSHIP ON THIS BOARD !!!!!

krashid

Nobody is allowed to do anything. They just do it anyway. Personally, aside from seriously precocious brats I haven`t come across pompous 5-year olds (I`m pretending to miss the sarcasm - in case you miss it - unless of course I misunderstood completely) ... out of the mouths of babes or hadn`t you heard. Maybe if more 5 year olds began to discuss God we`d be able to escape the boringly insular discussions of the 50 year olds.

Besides my question was not whether it makes sense to start another `career` as you put it by airing the past - but the implications of your statement - sex outside of marriage = sexual profligacy for want of a better word. ... anyway, i think the `blushing or otherwise` wife would be a nut to tell her husband on her wedding nite ... assuming the marriage was arranged it should be left alone until or unless both subsequently develop a relationship that allows them to talk about their respective escapades (although whats good for the gander is not always good for the goose as most have discovered to their cost) ... if its not arranged well then - if you haven`t talked about it yet - er better not !

cheers

dL

Arranged Marriage Horror Story

Bride & Groom (both of desi origin) lived in Canada in different provinces, both from well settled families, introduced, and married with a sumptous wedding reception by all accounts. Bride home in 3 days on the pretext of her close relatives sudden death.

Never goes back. Gossip has it that Bridegroom

had his Canadian gf living in his house all along. Refused bride`s request to move to another city.

Anyone got any others to contribute?

I would say `` Honey that was your past. Let us talk about living OUR future lives together happily. It is all about being happy. Petty things dont matter.``

Cheers,

Mann

Well, joining in late, but read all the replies.

I have to agree with the majority that if you`ve left that question till the wedding night or the next morning, you`ve left it a bit too late. I think relationships should be based on HONESTY. If 1 party starts lying or concealing the truth, its a no-go from the start. If you can`t have honesty with your spouse, your relationship is not worth much in much opinion.

If this happened to me (being a single guy), i might likely decide to spend the rest of the night on the couch by myself, if the person had been lying to me all along before when asked straight forward questions, and only came clean at that stage. Only because i can`t stand dishonesty.

Virginity is overrated. If people are careful (use diaphrams, condoms, HIV tests etc, and unfailingly the pill) the bad conseqences can be minimalized (although the pill does mean weight gain for women). Men peak sexually at age 18, it is absolutely ridiculous to expect them to waste the best (sexually) years of their lives jerking off till they are financially independent etc. So why have a double standard for women.

Frankly, that hymen thinge is a pain in the vagina. Its overrated as well. It can be quite painful and uncomfortable the first time around to deal with for young ladies, and who in their right minds thinks dealing with their bleeding, and the pain of your female partner is FUN for a man? It most certainly is NOT. Takes a while till sex becomes fun. Additionally, my female friends strongly agree that most Paki men need to be, uh, `broken in` before they get married, `to be of any use`. As a group they continue to have all kinds of hangups, `not teddibly into cunnilingus` or if willing, any good at it either. But most guys selfishly want BJs without reciprocity.

Women should make a rule and enforce it. If the Guy has an Ej, She MUST INSIST on the same 1:1 exchange ratio for orgasms, married or otherwise. His problem, however he solves it. Otherwise, its the couch (or worse) for you mister. :)

Love a cold, heartless mistress. Being nice/sweet just don`t get you anywhere in life.

Omar Mirza

RE: Scout #96

Oh! you broke me down. But let me assure you that I was not sleeping with my husband`s best friend. Happy? :)

abysmal..what fantasy world are you living in
yaar?
frankly, i am surprised when a guy tells me he
is a virgin. id be disturbed if my husband said
that to me...
and since the question is reversed i am more
open to it and dude, he shoulda told me a
helluva lot longer than the night we get
married.

id divorce him. there can be nothing worse
than having a blushing man on your
hands...blushing brides, yes i can see that as
traditionally charming, but a blushing
groom...good god...thats a freak show.

im being flippant ofcourse...one needs to
clarify for those who dont get it and attack me
for ....i dont know what you could attack me for
but chowkwalas and their sensitivities will get
to be legendary. divorce is too simple....id go
for the guilluotine.

:)

oh..one other thing..i agree with slink and
jawahara on your article...
i do however, like the issue that arose from
this and most people discussed the question
you asked about instead of focusing on what
youve written...lucky you. youve escaped
unhazed this time...

rizvi

urstruly,

Do you speak from experience? Did or did your wife (or girlfriend) not sleep with your best friend?

It`s time to lay down your defenses and lay your cards out on the table. How did you feel?

I am reminded of an old Pakistani flick called Saheli.

dl#93

The question is why do you want to start a new career by telling your groom on wedding night?

I don`t think groom will be happy.

Moreover, somethings are presupposed and any deviation from it creates frustration.

Now what will be appropriate time for discovery, is upto the couple and their understanding with each other over time.

I don`t know why 5 years old mind are allowed to discuss God in a pompous manner?

PS. and I will try to fake a blush too

RE: Abysmal #91

If I were that bride then I would win my hubby`s heart by forgiving him but I would never tell him that I also used to sleep with his best friend.

If anyone`s still interested I`d like to pose the following question to the ladies:

If your ``blushing`` groom confessed he wasn`t a virgin on your wedding night would you?

a) Spit on his face and go home to momma.

b) Feel insecure and ask lots of questions

about ``her,`` or ``them.``

c) Tell him to wait, and go have sex with someone

so that you both are even.

d) Cry

e) Confess your own sins

f) Feel distrustful and wonder if he has Herpes.

g) Pull out a gun and kill him

h) Pull out a gun and kill yourself

Could you guys please not use the phrase ``Blushing Bride``. Why would a bride be blushing if she had already `been there, done that`-I think the proper phrase should be ``blushing groom`` (in this case)?

Another thing that is really annoying is that the reference in this question, that author asked, is only being made to females (bride) only. Males should be subject to the same rigorous standards.

the thing about the past, is that there isn`t a damn thing that you can do about it. so as a guy, if mu blushing new bride told me that she wasn`t a virgin i really really hope that i would act in a mature manner, and explain to her that it doesn`t really matter, because her past isn`t what i`m concerned with, but rather the present and the future..

re#84: krashid

Gross generalizations. you`re not seriously suggesting that every woman who has indulged in premarital sex is a `slut` are you ? Exactly how do you define the word anyway ? More than one sexual partner equals ... ? Premarital sex equals ... ? Not living up to your expectations equals ... ?

cheers

dL

I have this simple rule to follow.

virgin for a virgin

non-virgin for a non-virgin.

If I am a non-virgin then i dont have any right to ask my bride to be a virgin but if am a virgin and get a non-virgin wife...i will have to forgive her provided she abstains from extra-marital in the future. Can`t send her back to home.