The Burden of Virginity

I would find the answers to this question a lot more interesting:

What would you do if your blushing bride revealed on your wedding night that she was actually a man?

A. Bismil!

What an absurd question.

You are talking of arranged marriage in our culture. What criteria do you want to apply?

In Western culture these things are known beforehand and virginity is a black spot on your personality.

If I know, I would like to know if you intend to continue your behaviour or enough is enough and now will stick to me.

Why would I marry you in arranged marriage knowing you are same as rest of so called western sluts. Or even why would I marry if there are lots of people like you in the street.

If it is a rebellion on your part, you are most welcome to sleep with me, but not in a marriage bond.

As far as Bina`s question. It is a valid one. The only problem is, can woman take a decision.

But it is probably true that in our culture neither a woman likes such man, nor a man likes such woman.

Bina #83

``What would you do if your blushing bride revealed on your wedding night that she was actually a man?``

LOL!

or a she-male.... LOL :)

What would you do if your blushing bride revealed on your wedding

night that she was actually a man?

Yeh tay lainay kay dainay parh gayey

I have this simple rule to follow.

virgin for a virgin

non-virgin for a non-virgin.

If I am a non-virgin then i dont have any right to ask my bride to be a virgin but if am a virgin and get a non-virgin wife...i will have to forgive her provided she abstains from extra-marital in the future. Can`t send her back to home.

re#84: krashid

Gross generalizations. you`re not seriously suggesting that every woman who has indulged in premarital sex is a `slut` are you ? Exactly how do you define the word anyway ? More than one sexual partner equals ... ? Premarital sex equals ... ? Not living up to your expectations equals ... ?

cheers

dL

the thing about the past, is that there isn`t a damn thing that you can do about it. so as a guy, if mu blushing new bride told me that she wasn`t a virgin i really really hope that i would act in a mature manner, and explain to her that it doesn`t really matter, because her past isn`t what i`m concerned with, but rather the present and the future..

Could you guys please not use the phrase ``Blushing Bride``. Why would a bride be blushing if she had already `been there, done that`-I think the proper phrase should be ``blushing groom`` (in this case)?

Another thing that is really annoying is that the reference in this question, that author asked, is only being made to females (bride) only. Males should be subject to the same rigorous standards.

If anyone`s still interested I`d like to pose the following question to the ladies:

If your ``blushing`` groom confessed he wasn`t a virgin on your wedding night would you?

a) Spit on his face and go home to momma.

b) Feel insecure and ask lots of questions

about ``her,`` or ``them.``

c) Tell him to wait, and go have sex with someone

so that you both are even.

d) Cry

e) Confess your own sins

f) Feel distrustful and wonder if he has Herpes.

g) Pull out a gun and kill him

h) Pull out a gun and kill yourself

RE: Abysmal #91

If I were that bride then I would win my hubby`s heart by forgiving him but I would never tell him that I also used to sleep with his best friend.

PS. and I will try to fake a blush too

dl#93

The question is why do you want to start a new career by telling your groom on wedding night?

I don`t think groom will be happy.

Moreover, somethings are presupposed and any deviation from it creates frustration.

Now what will be appropriate time for discovery, is upto the couple and their understanding with each other over time.

I don`t know why 5 years old mind are allowed to discuss God in a pompous manner?

urstruly,

Do you speak from experience? Did or did your wife (or girlfriend) not sleep with your best friend?

It`s time to lay down your defenses and lay your cards out on the table. How did you feel?

I am reminded of an old Pakistani flick called Saheli.

abysmal..what fantasy world are you living in
yaar?
frankly, i am surprised when a guy tells me he
is a virgin. id be disturbed if my husband said
that to me...
and since the question is reversed i am more
open to it and dude, he shoulda told me a
helluva lot longer than the night we get
married.

id divorce him. there can be nothing worse
than having a blushing man on your
hands...blushing brides, yes i can see that as
traditionally charming, but a blushing
groom...good god...thats a freak show.

im being flippant ofcourse...one needs to
clarify for those who dont get it and attack me
for ....i dont know what you could attack me for
but chowkwalas and their sensitivities will get
to be legendary. divorce is too simple....id go
for the guilluotine.

:)

oh..one other thing..i agree with slink and
jawahara on your article...
i do however, like the issue that arose from
this and most people discussed the question
you asked about instead of focusing on what
youve written...lucky you. youve escaped
unhazed this time...

rizvi

RE: Scout #96

Oh! you broke me down. But let me assure you that I was not sleeping with my husband`s best friend. Happy? :)

Well, joining in late, but read all the replies.

I have to agree with the majority that if you`ve left that question till the wedding night or the next morning, you`ve left it a bit too late. I think relationships should be based on HONESTY. If 1 party starts lying or concealing the truth, its a no-go from the start. If you can`t have honesty with your spouse, your relationship is not worth much in much opinion.

If this happened to me (being a single guy), i might likely decide to spend the rest of the night on the couch by myself, if the person had been lying to me all along before when asked straight forward questions, and only came clean at that stage. Only because i can`t stand dishonesty.

Virginity is overrated. If people are careful (use diaphrams, condoms, HIV tests etc, and unfailingly the pill) the bad conseqences can be minimalized (although the pill does mean weight gain for women). Men peak sexually at age 18, it is absolutely ridiculous to expect them to waste the best (sexually) years of their lives jerking off till they are financially independent etc. So why have a double standard for women.

Frankly, that hymen thinge is a pain in the vagina. Its overrated as well. It can be quite painful and uncomfortable the first time around to deal with for young ladies, and who in their right minds thinks dealing with their bleeding, and the pain of your female partner is FUN for a man? It most certainly is NOT. Takes a while till sex becomes fun. Additionally, my female friends strongly agree that most Paki men need to be, uh, `broken in` before they get married, `to be of any use`. As a group they continue to have all kinds of hangups, `not teddibly into cunnilingus` or if willing, any good at it either. But most guys selfishly want BJs without reciprocity.

Women should make a rule and enforce it. If the Guy has an Ej, She MUST INSIST on the same 1:1 exchange ratio for orgasms, married or otherwise. His problem, however he solves it. Otherwise, its the couch (or worse) for you mister. :)

Love a cold, heartless mistress. Being nice/sweet just don`t get you anywhere in life.

Omar Mirza