Pico’quant Tales

chuut?

Must one refer to one`s ex girlfriend as one?

asim, i think he was referring to pico.
rehan....funny stuff...you had me laughing out
loud.
really really great read. out of lahore but not
out of the context.

rizvi

...the C wali gali got my attention

it`s the only thing that kept me reading, to see why you`d call pico that....

i still haven`t figured it out, need to read it more carefully.

by the way, is it just me, or are there other people out there who`ve never heard of this Pico guy?

interesting read mr. ansari.

Zehra,

Thanks for the clarification. Mio Culpa, Rehan :)

Obviously my privileged Aitchisonian education is beginning to show. Like most of Hoodhbhoys recent article, that too was a big sham.

I had scanned the article, losing interest after the long winded introduction to the characters. Unlike scout it was all downhill for me after the chuut word.

Regards

Asim

Am I the only one who didn`t find this funny? And I think I AM the only one who doesn`t know what the C word means. Have come across it a couple of times in writing and have heard it being uttered as well but have no idea what it means. Don`t think I want to know either. But is it supposed to be something REALLY bad?

Rehan:

I personally found some of your other stuff more interesting. Maybe I`ll appreciate this work better after reading the book you mention? Or maybe watching you ``peform`` the whole thing out will help? :)

Re: Lubna and her queries.

#1. No Lubna you are not alone in not finding this funny and or witty.

#2.You write,..``Don`t think I want to know either. But is it supposed to be something REALLY bad?``

Would you feel the same way about the word ``Vagina`` if you were a gynaecologist? Would it still be reprehensible to you, or even as a lady.

#3 Actually i went back and reread the piece. I dont know whether to shoot Pico or Rehan.

#4 Rehan does Lahore well. This cosmopolitan stuff/pseudo-intlellectual brouhaha he is dabbling with(in this artcile as well as the pakistani intellectual one earlier), is coming across as a search for a new direction, abrwak from the old. Forgive me for being judgemental; Could not help it, being an ardent admirer of Lahore walla Rehan.

Asim

I`m glad that I`m not the only one who has never found Rehan Ansari even remotely funny or interesting. He can write, far better than most on Chowk, but its just not interesting or worth reading.

I`ve never read anything by Pico Iyer but I`ve heard him on the radio, NPR, more than once and, unlike Rehan Ansari, Pico Iyer is screamingly funny. As far as I can tell, Kalpana took offense at Pico Iyer`s gall in writing about HER city, Toronto, without having spent half a lifetime there. This, of course, puts Iyer in the same sordid camp as the Orientalists who imagined an East and then forced us to fit their stereotypes.

Now, why Rehan Ansari can`t stand Pico Iyer, I`m not sure. Professional jealousy? Pico Iyer is famous and Rehan Ansari is not? Pico Iyer is accepted as a literary lion (of sorts, at least in the travelogue department) and Rehan Ansari is not? Because Kalpana was ecstatic at the thought of meeting Iyer? Rehan objects to being misquoted? Ok, understandable but was the misquotation material? We don`t know. Maybe Rehan Ansari just hates people of colour who do not believe that the white man is the source of all ills? Who knows? Mr. Ansari never really tells us.

Or wait, have I missed the point entirely? Pico Iyer is objectionable because Rehan Ansari says he is? Now, Iyer apparently couldn`t wait to get out of there as fast as he could. Frankly, after reading the article, I don`t blame him. As far as I can tell, Tattle was the truly objectionable person in the story but he isn`t the one being called a chuut. Rehan and friends are merely rude.

I suppose its terrible bourgeois of me but I prefer an article I read to have a point. So what is the point Mr. Ansari? Could you please enlighten us?

i was not going to get involved but good god
fuzair....talk about presumptous, ludicrous
statements...

i liked this piece..i thought it funny...but more
than funny i thought it interesting that in the
guise of humor, he has some very piercing
perceptions....of pico, of david, of the situation
and the people he was with....

heres what i found funny..kalpanas comments
about egoless girlfriends...the whole bit about
the momos...david for gods sake..he`s
hilarious...and i really like the way rehan was
able to get across davids character in the
types of questions david asks and the way he
sporadically jumps in and out.

perhaps its too subtle for some...

rehan, write on. i like this stuff.

why is everyone limiting him to pretty pictures
of lahore..this has substance to it. not that
your stuff before didnt...it was more asthetic,
this is more...this is just more.

Fuzair #7,

ouch...

rehan, what do you have to say about this?

please speak up before we`re brainwashed by fuzair`s accusations.

I thought that Pico`quant was one of many kinds of chilli peppers-like Jalopenea and red hot ones.

Re: Zehra #8

I guess you are correct. It is entirely possible that Rehan Ansari is too subtle for me to understand but, being too ignorant to know that I am ignorant, I shall stand by earlier statements.

Regards.

Re #6:

Asim Sahib - aap ka kis mun say shukria ada karun for point #2? I shall forever be grateful to you for that morsel of knowledge you so politely threw this way - has made SUCH a profound difference in my life. sigh.. To answer your question - no, it would not - the context it`s being used in is different - in fact, the word itself is different - you wouldn`t hear a gynaecologist replacing ``vagina`` with ``c-nt`` now would you? (the latter being a word I WOULD find reprehensible) Oh well, at least you were polite about it... :)

I agree to some extent on your point #4 though.

sorry - fail to see the piquancy here!!!

Lubna,

I fail to see how knowing the meaning of this rather insignificant, cliched, and highly abused word, could have such profound repercussions on anybody. Having said that, i am glad that at least some of the mystery is lifted from this pedestrian word, fro yourself

This word`s sole redeeming feature is that its an integral part of the rites of passage for a young pakistani male;given the fact that we tend to make such good misogynists later on in life. By repeatedly rinsing our mouths with this noun and numerous other nouns (naturally derogatory in nature to our womenfolk), we take delight in the transition from being mere boys without control our wet dreams to men who know their place in a misogynist society like ours; where women are merely second or third class citizens at best, and are simply there to cater to our puerile whims. Sad, aint it?

And i see the word chuut being used casually, (as if it is the mark of a literary giant), somehow elevated to a literary acceptance amongst the well-read, the thekedar of our culture, who define our morality. It makes me sick.

I am perhaps sticking my neck out and perhaps begging to be labelled as one;for you know, Lubna, the same word is used by some men as an insult to other men, equating them to the parting of lips. A woman! that is all she is to some men.

Sincerely,

Asim

Asim #14:

[I fail to see how knowing the meaning of this rather insignificant, cliched, and highly abused word, could have such profound repercussions on anybody.]

--Aray mian, ever heard of sarcasm? Okay, I admit it was a poor attempt but you could have used your brains for heaven`s sake! Why would such a word make a differnce in ANYONE`S life?! Obviously I wasn`t being serious! sigh.... why does everyone always take my words at face value when it isn`t my intention to be serious? :(

Oh well... moving on... I don`t mind coming across such words in a context where there is a NEED for them - whether it`s in a literary work or in a conversation or in a movie. But when publicly thrown around in an offhand manner then yes, I do find it quite disgusting.

As you pointed out, it IS very interesting how most of the offensive words used are derogatory in nature to the female. I`m not talking about any one language - I`ve noticed this is true of all of the languages and dialects I`ve come across so far and from what I`ve learned through people I`ve met who speak different languages. Another thing I find interesting is how most people, when they come across a new language, are so interested in learning the offensive words in that language. Especially men. Countless times have I had male friends asking me for the translation of some Urdu or Punjabi swear word (the meaning of which I`m not even sure of most of the times) they`ve picked up from somewhere. Sad.

* * * *Aray mian, ever heard of sarcasm?

Nahin to. What the devil is that? You really have to excuse me on account of my sub par desi education :)

* * * *Okay,...but you could have used your brains for heaven`s sake!

Reckless speculation has been the demise of many an intelligent person. :)

Happy Holidays!

Asim