Anything But Vacant

wow....i`m still holding u to a copy of that future book.

i remember the fetus part from a post of urs.

excellent writing!

raw emotion and imagery.

obviously unsettling so good for you to get that
across.

whats the inspiration behind it?

sometimes raw enough to take away from
wha tyou are writing...its like you got carried
away to show putridness.

rizvi

An interesting descriptive piece. Really hard hitting. I wish you well with your novel.

Dear ya`ll,

Please accept my apologies for a few of the grammatical mistakes. The Chowk staff never e-mailed me to let me know that it was accepted. I only posted the thingy a few days back. I had the proper version ready but I guess it won`t be coming up now.

To be honest, this was just a cut and paste job, a few bits of narration from here, a few from there, a couple of introspections and all of these have been given the 1st person view. This isn`t therefore, any of the particular chapters. It will also lead one to think, ``why is that Kamathipuran prostitute so smart`` etc.

Once again sorry.

Omar Phoenix.

Hey Rsaxena, (from my last post)

Who`s the real stupid? Ha Ha.

Fantastic!!! Do I see an Anti-Rushdie in disguise? I had thought from your other article that U were a Pakistani. Why India?

Once again, absolutely brilliant writing. I don`t know where to start from, there are so many good bits there, bits that I`m sure will be quoted in future books.

Ummm, don`t quit your day job, although I sincerely hope you are a better pharmacist than you are a writer. Crudity is not being honest. Its simply being crude. The shock value is minimal because its all been done, far better, a hundred or a thousand times, before.

Omar,

Shades of brilliance here; you`ve obviously got talent, but....

There`s a fine line between good erotica and simply prurient writing. The latter is usually marked by explicitness. Not that I dislike prurience in it`s own right, but the Pulitzer it isn`t gonna win you.

oH and another thing, (yeah, like you asked for my critique! :-) ), political agendas don`t often lend to the quality of a supposedly empathetic narrative.

Take Care,

PM

OmarPhoenix: I read the first sentence (where you proclaim that the article contains adult material) and read no further: you cant have anything interesting to say if this is the best you can do to attract attention to your article.

Re: TAhmed

I agree...this is just a silly attempt to draw attention through shock value. What results is boring, predictable filth...filth can be interesting too but this ain`t it.

Pulitzer or not, graphic purulence or not, if you`re writing this good at 21 years of age, can`t see how you could not succeed later on.

I personally didn`t feel repelled by the writing, I was mesmerized by the words and imagery.

Bravo again.

Enjoyed the narrative/excerpt?.

A little dialogue(even as an imagined one)in the narrators` mind not only provides a relief to the monotony of ``I`` but can also add locale-colour and texture to the format AND a respite to the eyes too.

A friendly comment.

Anxiously waiting for your novel.When I was your age I did not even know how to compose an original resume`.

__________________________________________________

WASSALAAM

Dear Omar,

You can work wonders with your eloquence and imagery then why opt to paint the under-world. I know that there is a world down below, a world that lacks sun-dappled ponds, misty meadows, rainbows, Leprechauns, turnpikes, and social security, but that world is so limiting and limited. There are only nine circles of Hell, according to Dante, whereas up here, even the sky is not the limit. You try to expose devil; the devil doesn’t change; the devil changes you. So leave the devil where he belongs. Do good for temporal ones.

I hate to sound like Abba Ji; I ain`t that old either; only that I have learned my lessons the hard way.

Good luck for your future endeavors.

Dear Zehra,

No inspirations, it all started off with a Sci fi novel which somehow turned into a desi novel.

Did I get carried away, probably yes. I have a bad habit of not pressing the brakes when they’re needed.

Thank you.

Omar Phoenix.

Dear Zehra,

No inspirations, it all started off with a Sci fi novel which somehow turned into a desi novel.

Did I get carried away, probably yes. I have a bad habit of not pressing the brakes when they’re needed.

Thank you.

Omar Phoenix.

Dear Neurogen & PM.

No, I have no political agendas. I listen to Lenny Kravitz for God sake, the man who spreads super love vibrations. The only thing I can spread is butter.

Yes PM. I agree with you. But then, like I said this is a chop and paste job from various parts of the book. The result is something very concentrated but if you were to dilute these text ‘patches’ over 600 pages, then I’m sure it won’t seem political or erotic. As I said before, these narrations were given the first person’s views and yes, I agree, they’re not very effective.

I started off by choosing Pakistan to write about. I was a student when I started, didn’t have much cash or time to spend a month in Pakistan so I resorted to using the Internet (unreliable) and travel guides etc as my initial sources of information. To put quiet simply, there was much more information on India than there was on Pakistan. I had to make that decision which was purely on business grounds.

Does it then fell like I’m jumping on the Indian bandwagon. Maybe so but then, that’s purely a business decision.

PM and neurogen, feel free to rip into the work if you wish to, as long as it’s constructive criticism. I actually appreciate the comments as I’m a nobody and feel that it’s stupid to get offended if somebody offers advice. All advice is good advice.

Take care and Thanks.

Omar Phoenix

dear omarphoenix,

interesting and powerful writing that will probably be easier to absorb once it`s diluted over the 600 pages that you mention. g`luck! i must say though, that lenny kravitz is a fake...more shadow than substance..bottled super love vibration if you like :)

urstruly,

for once you write something i agree with, or rather am beginning to agree with..the bit about dance with the devil and he changes you rather than the other way around. as a writer who has spent most of her writing time in the `arms of the devil`, i find the echo of that realization you mention beginning to sound in me. and i feel a curious sense of loss almost...as if the breaking of my unspoken pact with him will take the spine out of my writing. do you know what i mean?