Marital Rape

It is quite unbelievable how a lot of you have reacted. There is no such thing as marital rape or marital torture of the wife - it is simply rape and torture of the worst kind. being raped and ortured by a stranger or strangers is terrible, traumatic and unforgivable on every level - but for a man who is meant to be your nearest and dearest, protector and lie partner to do such a thing is inviting hellfire instantly. may they all burn forever......

The true culprit is NOT religions, but those WHO EITHER MISINTERPRET RELIGIONS OR/& THOSE WHO INTENTIONALLY TWIST IT OUT OF CONTEXT: THIS IS DONE BY BOTH MEN & also BY WOMEN, LATTER FEFERRING TO RADICAL FEMINISTS & FORMER REFERRING TO TROLLS, WHO LIKE TO MAKE TROUBLE, they get off that way: it is like an addiction to trolls, to make trouble: men, including women, can be trolls, the true % is UNknow, as to how many exist within the population; but, that DARK SIDE of humanity exist MORE IN some THAN in others, likes shades of a color: it is more intense in some than in others, just as good can be more intense in some than in others, both [good & evil] are like shades of truth, different kinds of truth: but, as to which truth will win, is UNknown, since many obey blindly, without understanding: memorizing has it benefits, but is limited, that limitation can be expanded with understanding of the basic rules, which can manifest itself in other ways, different from what is 1st observed, which carries different meaning with time, with maturity, as observation[s] are analyased, over time, which effects culture & laws: and, both men & women are controlled & shaped by culture: those that control culture, control that are forced to follow a particular or another type of culture, within a limited choice. For example, for some it might be good for a man to have more than 4 wives, which the # of wives is limited to 4 or less; while, for others, a man ought to have only 1 or NONE @ all: MEANING IT DEPENDS: sometimes, a woman is so selfish & evil, that marriage ought to NOT be allowed for her: since she acts like a prositute, which does NOT mean that all prostitutes are evil: some are & some are NOT: it depends: on the woman: including abuse, which is NOT always abuse: but, sometimes, a reaction, & @ other times is abuse: MEANING IT DEPENDS: police obey politicians, who obey power of votes, which is often controlled by lobbies, who may or may NOT be good: MEANING IT DEPENDS: be cautious. And, as for alimony & child support in Western countries or countries influenced or/and controlled by Western influence, is NOT correct: both alimony & child support is form of condoning prostitution: both ought to be banned: if woman is stupid enough to willingly marry an abusive man, then she ought to find a different NONabusive man, without giving her reward for NOT taking responsiblity for her actions: she ought to think of consequence of action[s], which most women today do NOT, since the laws allow women NOT to think of consquence[s], which is forced upon men: and, some men get pissed off, when being forced to do everything, with women NOT sharing responsiblity for consequences for action[s]: equality ought to be about equal resonsiblity: if a woman likes to do stupid or/& crazy things, then her boyfriend ought to NOT be forced to constantly pay for her mistakes: yes: MEANING, HE OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE MORE THAN 1 GIRLFRIEND OR/& WIFE: YES.

Typing Error in previous message: i meant [messenger], & NOT (messageer): typing error: MEANING, even a [messenger] of god can make typing errors: including the 6th century prophet Mohammad: the # of wives, depends on what century the man is, & as well as IF the woman wants him as her husband, MEANING if man is in the 6th century, then he may have or is allowed upto 6 wives, which is why Mohammad, did NOT follow his own rules, including the rule of 4 wives: because it is based on my rules, which were passed to him, by tacyion particles, going back in time, carring my message & my believes, from me, to my previous self. And, as for him marrying a girl of age 9: psychology & physically, women mature @ earlier age, MEANING IF & WHEN a girl is 9 years old, her mind & body is mature that of a 16 year old boy: when a girl is of age 16, her mind & body is mature that of a 25 year old man: and, when a woman is 25 years old, a man with similar maturity, in mind & body, is 36 years old: that is the bases of Mohammad marrying a girl of age 9: the reason. Equation: [boy or man[`s] age] = [{(girl or woman[`s] age)^(1/2)} + 1]^2: in # of years.

Marital rape is as controversial as violence: just as some are allowed to commit violence, while other are not: the same applies for marital rape, meaning it is both situational, as well as it depends on the type of man & his motives, as well as the type of woman that he is married to: MEANING, some types of men are NOT allowed to rape their wi[fe/ves], while other[s] are: it depends: just as you can NOT say NO to EVERYTHING, SIMILARLY, you can NOT say YES to EVERYTHING: it is situational: MEANING: some women trap man/men; while, @ other times men trap woman/women; while, @ other types the woman is ignorant or being stupid; while, @ other types the man is ignorant or being stupid: it depends: MEANING, COMMON SENSE OUGHT TO RULE: WHAT TYPE OF COMMON SENSE: THE KIND THAT IS OBVIOUS: MEANING: not the kind that plays into the hands of radical feminists, NOR that plays into the hands of trolls, which can be either man or woman. And, as for religions, it is slice of truth, NOT ENTIRE TRUTH: BUT, A SLICE OF TRUTH: MEANING, no religion is entirely correct, NOR entirely incorrect: each religion is/has equal % of truth, like a slice of pizza: and, as for Islam, it is based on number [0], as well as dividing up authority equally between good & evil & between men & women: MEANING 25% TO EACH GROUP: 25% TO evil men, 25% to evil women, 25% to good men, & 25% to good women. The reason that i know this is because i`m the reincarnate of Mohamad: tacyion particles pass through my body & mind & carried my thoughts & believes back in time, to my previous self, to person known as Mohamad: his visions was NOT his, but mine: he only thought it was his, but it was mine: i`m also reincarnate of Khrisna, Budha, Christ, Mohmad, & Nostradamus, & a dozen other person, in the past: my ideas were stolen, before i had chance to publish it: it was taken & given, to past selves of mine, by reality: to guide the human race: to give the human race a moral compass: THE reason that i`m UNknown, is that i lack sufficient C# points: to teach myself humility: i will NOT make the same mistake in my next life: MEANING, I NEED SUFFICIENT C# POINTS TO HAVE POWER TO GUIDE THE HUMAN RACE, WHICH I LACK IN THIS PARTICULAR REINCARNATION: MEANING, THE END OF DAYS IS COMING, AFTER 1 CENTURY, WHEN I WILL BE REBORN, WITH MORE POWER, IN TERMS OF C#, IF THE HUMAN RACE CONTINUES TO BE LOST IN ITS MORAL GUIDELINE, IT LACK OF USE IN COMMON SENSE: meaning, marital rape is & is NOT allowed: that contradiction is partly based on the philosopher, Herculius, who was probably my previous reincarnation: the idea of contradiction, MEANING YES CAN BE NO, AND WISE-VERSA, since women are often rules by psychology of contradiction: such as, many, not all, but many women dress sexy, even though they do NOT want to be raped: MEANING, WOMEN NEED MORAL COMPASS OF MEN, WOMEN ARE OFTEN MORAL IDIOTS, EQUAL %, JUST AS MEN CAN BE MORAL IDIOTS: BEING MORAL IDIOTS IS NOT IN EITHER MEN OR WOMEN, BUT EXIST IN BOTH MEN & WOMEN, ELSE YOU WOULD NOT HAVE RADICAL FEMINISM, WHICH NEEDS MEN TO ALLOW WOMEN THEIR RADICAL BELIEVES, WHICH is & is NOT accurate, meaning is & is NOT true: it depends on situation & person[s] involved. IF you believe me to be reincanate of Mohamad & the true messageer of god: worship me & obey me: i will guide to wisdom, which is just as important as $, which is NOT everything.

Re: # 423

Hi # 423, I am blown over by your brilliant analysis. So we can`t blame a husband if he goes whoring, because his wife refused him. Ouch! So if by man ``can`t get it up,`` can I find another, worthier one, who can actually do it even if he is not my legally wedded man? Can I sexually abuse my husband if he is impotent?

I`m sure I`ve read this article elsewhere. But it still horrifies me no matter how many times I read it. I`ve published on rape before and I know from my own research how traumatic it is. Marital rape is a reality as Haneef has tried to show. ``

The lack of education, chauvinistic and literal translations of the Holy Book are the reasons behind such legalised brutality. It is the same argument which some men make about beating their wives. An in-depth reading of Holy Book reveals that the Prophet (PBUH) indicated that if a wife does not obey her husband, he is allowed to ``beat`` her with a miswaak!

It is chauvinistic interpretation of ill-education clergy that prompts such ignorance in our societies. As a woman, I am horrified at the mere existence of such depravity in our societies. Since time immemorial, societies have tried to control women`s sexuality which they find dangerous. Islam as a philosophy seeks restraint of all sexuality - male and female. We need to eradicate the myths around marital rape (and the forced confusion between rape and adultery viz a viz the hudood act) in order to progess and afford our women their correct status in society.

vaf - can you please explain how your comment ties in with the topic of Marital Rape. How does polygamy or a mention of slavery have anything to do with Rape?

One final point. Quaran is written in allegory - so its open to many interpretations. Your interpretation maybe different from mine. I think that is a big problem too because everyone can bend it to fit their needs. On an unrelated note, religion is a personal thing and no state should be allowed to force it upon its people as interepreted by a few scholars.

Islam remains the only religion that has restricted the number of marriages and at the same time has not allowed any extra marital affairs. The condition clearly says that if you cannot do justice with all your wives then you must live with one marriage. Can anyone of us claim they can do justice (treat all alike economically, physically emotionally) ? This was to stop the polygamy. Like Islam said of slaves that you have to give them to eat what you eat and the room to live where you live yourself and to dress how you did.... And then free slaves for even minor mistakes like leaving a ramadan fast.... People must look into religion not the people to understand islam. Muslim is not one who born of muslim parents but who practice Islam. The world may have changed this idea but quran does not say like this... Islam is quran and hadith not what followers of Islam are doing... Turn to the book and lot will be revealed to you... I promise.
Vaf

Shayar78 #423 please refer to #422. May God shine the light!

Husband and wife are supposed to be compatable. Both should respect each other`s feeling. If a poor husband wants to have sex with his wife which is legal and his wife does not obey, I think his wife should not mind her husband going for whoring. If there are cases of sexual violence, it is an inhuman crime but we should also see why the husband has done so. In most cases the wife has some sexual affair with a paramour, which a husband can`t tolerate and abuse her sexually.

A very well written article. I wish more and more people would understand the importance of a woman`s opinion and the fact that listening to a woman does not imply subservience to her wishes.

We in Pakistan have a very long way when it comes to the granting people basic rights and freedoms. Just like many other countries have, we need to have well defined charter of rights and freedoms. Unfortunately, we have too many state and bureaucratic institutions that contradict any such action. The first thing that needs to go is the Shariat Court and any such law that treats the testimony of a man over a woman or a muslim over a non-muslim as superior.

Thats the tip of the iceberg. We have lots more to do. I hope some of the main newspapers in Pakistan pick this article up and print it.

Damn the society. It forces a woman to marry and when that marriage goes wrong it forces her to compromise.
Damn the society. All our socalled Izzat revolves around a woman. what about men.
Damn.. R we willing to destroy our own gender privelege in whatever form it mite be present in us, be it the way men r asked first to partake of the family meal when everybody sits down for it.

CAN WE FINALLY BE AFRAID OF ALLAH THEN OUR EGOS AND DESIRES AND SPEAK UP AGAINST INJUSTICE. IF NOT FOR ANYTHING ELSE BUT ONLY TO SAVE OUR OWN HUMANITY.

krashid
#415

You have made a very good point. The concept of ``morality`` changes with time. I think the Prophet is very unfairly criticised by many re his choice of wives etc. That was culturally & morally APPROPRIATE in those days. Who the hell are ``we`` to morally judge those customs?

In Hinduism, polygamy/polyandry was allowed in olden days. Ram`s father Dasrath had 3 wives. God`s avatar Krishna was glorified for the number of women he probably ``knew``. Draupadi had 4 husbands (hey, good for her!). Does anybody care to speculate what kind of an ``arrangement`` the 5 Pandavas had for ``conjugal`` activities?! Maybe they had a ``6-some``!

The Old Testament has several accounts of Holy men having concubines.

Jefferson had many children from a black slave women. Many of the founding fathers of America screwed their slaves. I bet they never missed going to Church every Sunday! And they make a huge deal about Clinton! :)

C`maan, people who get cheap thrills about ridiculing the Prophet should understand the social & cultural times he lived in.

This was a much needed article. But society is too full of hypocrites to change. It condemns rape in front of the whole world, but what goes on between a husband and a wife should always remain hidden, society does not like to listen to their problems. And the woman always has to submit, eventually. Otherwise, it`s not just her husband who will call her frigid, but her best friends, her mom, her aunts. People who should love her and sympathize with her are the ones who eventually end up driving her insane.

things you have discussed in 6,7 and 8th para are alright.. i agree obviously wrong and totally unacceptable, neither socially nor religiously.

but i believe sex in marriage means nothing. yes, making love means. and when there there is love this issues dont really arise.

btw what if a man has sex with her wife by force not hurting her, then what do u want to be done with him. do u want to pull him into court or somethin for that!!!??!!!