Marital Rape

how could we control this crime?

Aurangzeb, you are talking about a hideous thing called Marital Rape in a place where dogmatism and bigotry rules instead of rationality and tolerance... the Last Prophet of Islam clearly condemned the woman who refrain from sex when her husband needs.

In a place,where a woman`s testification can never be regarded as equal to a man, where she cannot claim equality in the laws of inheritance... a Marital Rape seems too damn normal!

Masd #1:

Through education, for one.



Not to undermine the importance of awareness of the issue, but really, is there really any chowk visitor who would disagree with the author`s viewpoint?



Now why has this article invoked an image of Solitude smacking his slips?!?

I am glad somebody has taken the time to write about this topic. Sexual crimes are probably prevalent all throughout Pakistan specially areas where people are uneducated and are still within the tenacious grips of social taboos.

I don`t really see a hard and fast solution to this problem or to many other problems for that matter. The root of so many of these horrors in our society is ignorance `Jahalat`. Until and unless people take bold steps to come forward and educate the masses, these minds will never evolve into rational and knowledgable ones.

Aurangzeb:

Why all the prefixes? Date-Rape, Marital-Rape.... Rape`s a rape, right? Just the fact that a `prefix` is added before the word `rape` is acknowledgement of `mitigating circumstances` that constitute `semi-consent`. Bullshit! Rape is a rape. No means no. Doesn`t matter who said no, doesn`t matter when.

Masd:

The solution is pretty simple. Create a society where a woman can walk away from a marriage in a heartbeat. Without any backlash, repercussion, threat.... just walk away.

Latif:

I am amused to read your comment. You said, `Create a society.......?` Please care to enlighten what will that entail? And also make sure that you address the resolution, step by step as I have a hard time understanding the creation of such societies.

Thanks

Just a Warning!

Contrary to popular belief, rape of women (or men) (married or single), by a stranger or a relative (including their husbands) is not sanctioned/allowed by any shariah law (in any of the fiqahs)… those who intend to, somehow, blame Islam for this heinous practice/crime should get their facts straight!

Rape (marital or otherwise) is a social/cultural problem. It is a problem in almost all societies regardless of whether they are secular or religious. Also, marital rape is not unique to Islamic countries.

Aurangzeb!

Although your article is OK, but you failed to give the references to incidences.

Because what incidences you are describing like raping the daughter or gang-rape at least to my knowledge are crime in themselves, which needs to be punished at utmost.

Basing on these crimes which you tend to define as Marital rape as something very sinister I thought only CNN is expert in the task of misleading).

Majority of women and sometimes men are victim to marital-rape (i.e sex against their wishes or not desiring). What is the outlet is better understanding between partners.

The crimes you have mentioned are not marital rape, but crimes. And if you have any connection with WAR then try to work for crimes against women and may be pass a law.

``Rape in a place where dogmatism and bigotry rules instead of rationality and tolerance... the Last Prophet of Islam clearly condemned the woman who refrain from sex when her husband needs.``

Now here`s a good example of how to turn a serious discussion about a disturbing social problem into a mudslinging contest. Be careful ol` chap or you might come back again as a jackass in your next life also.

Aurangzeb,

I agree with what you say. Attitudes towards marital rape are deeply ingrained in all societies. It wasnt until about six years ago that it became an offence in the UK, after much public debate characterised by many of the stances you describe.

regards

Harpreet

Rawdust,

I am afraid you are absolutely out of line in your assumption. The prophet of Islam doesnot do any such thing. On the contrary, he urges restraint, and tolerance towards women.

Kindly read, ``Take back the night`` by Fatima Mernissi.Also if possible please review the Prophet`s admonition to Umar.

Marital rape like Fairindkhum said is not common to Islamic countries or Pakistan. In fact the highest rate recorded a few years ago was India.. and the United States wasnt far behind. Yes this is something which is wrong with Pakistan, but how do you expect us to fix it if you are going to declare that we are evil.

-Yasser

Having four/multiple wives may solve this problem. No man has ever reported to have been `maritally raped` so I think men are ok with that. Simple deduction and induction thus tells us that polygmy on part of men is in line with the `natural` order of things.

If `un-natural` way is the preffered way then I think it is education rather than legislation that might help.

As much as I hate to admit it, Pakistani men, including myself, have a perverted and abnormal

view of women and sex. We dont think twice about

brutalizing weaker sex or any other segment

of society which cannot fight back. These same specimen of manhood are seen grovelling in front

of the `gora` men and even `gora` women because

we all know the pecking order !

re. Latif #3

``Why all the prefixes? Date-Rape, Marital-Rape...``

Good point, but...

The context does change things a little... the line between consent and `No` can be very blurry in a the complex relationship that marriage often is.

Anyway, by the same token of argument, I think don`t see why prefixes (or synonyms) are needed for `abuse`... Sexual abuse, for instance. This is just abuse pure and simple... an extension of the power play that operates in general in a scoiety. I think Foccault makes the same point.



krashid #8: Good point, that last para.



ylh: ``In fact the highest rate recorded a few years ago was India.. and the United States wasnt far behind.``

Yes, but don`t forget that most of these offenses go unreported in Pakistan. In any case, one shouldn`t even TRY to compare the scale of the offence in Pakistan with that in the US. (Mainly because the attitudes values towards the issue differ so greatly)



re. Urstruly #12:

``Having four/multiple wives may solve this problem. No man has ever reported to have been `maritally raped` so I think men are ok with that. Simple deduction and induction thus tells us that polygmy on part of men is in line with the `natural` order of things.``

I take it when you say polygamy you mean polygyny. Induction (from the natural world, ie, other species) suggests polyandry (that is one female to multiple males) to be more commonplace than the reverse. I wonder what your stance is on human polyandry!?

Also, I`d be interested if you could elaborate a bit on that last sentence. What deductive reasoning are you applying?

Finally, if one man is allowed multiple (concurrent; not serial) spouses, given that male-female longetivity is about equal, doesn`t this infer that some men will be left wifeless? Or is male homesexuality somehow divnely factored into this equation? :-)

regards,

PM

As I`m a final year law student, I think I can contribute in this regard -

The legal foundations of the disregarding of rape among married people is from [1]``..statements made by Sir Matthew Hale, Chief Justice in 17th century England. Hale wrote, ``The husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract, the wife hath given herself in kind unto the husband which she cannot retract`` `` - this position has been followed in the Indian (and Pakistani) Penal Codes enacted in the late 19th century. These Codes have not been repealed or significantly amended. Preliminary research has revealed that marital rape was criminalised in only 8% of the United States at 1978 - but in 1984, New York judge Sol Wachtler criminalised marital rape in a landmark decision but it was not until 1993 that marital rape was criminalised in all 50 US states.

I`d like to correct Harpreet #10 - [2]marital rape was criminalised (so to speak)by the House of Lords in 1991, and was confirmed in a court decision delivered in 1993.

Some friends and I started a website on Indian law - www.indialawinfo.com - and the Indian position on the issue of marital rape is discussed in it [3].

I`d like to collaborate with any interested parties in Pakistan in a discussion / academic exercise / exchange of ideas on the subject - I`m particularly curious about what accepted Islamic jurisprudence has to say on the matter.

Peace

Aniruddha Karim Shankar

karim at indialawinfo dot com

References

[1]http://www.vaw.umn.edu/Vawnet/mrape.htm

[2]http://www.info.gov.hk/basic_law/english/messages/97.htm

[3]http://www.indialawinfo.com/cgi-bin/faq/category.pl?parentid=275&custid=&showq=1&icon=

p.s. - Our website is undergoing some teething troubles so please be gentle and use Internet Explorer *yuk * - comments, criticism and (venture) capital welcome ;)

I agree with fairdinkum, rajanjua and ylh on this one.

Marital rape is not indeginous to Islamic countries only. It`s prevalent everywhere. The people who are bringing religion into this discussion are using this board as an avenue for their personal prejudices.

As for the article, Aurangzeb, you bring up very valid and sad points about our society.

I think more support groups are needed for women suffering at home. One for every community, with the counsel of doctors, nurses, social workers and psychiatrists. A group that is available, anonymous, and that works in conjunction with the police to punish these men and offer these women shelter and protection.

I don`t think this is a hard undertaking, if only more people would invest in such a concept instead of filling their Swiss bank accounts and wasting money on luxuries and entertainment. I partly blame the rich (especially of Pakistan) for the poor state of society.