Last Kiss

Dear Hussain Burhani:

A short, simple, and penetrating poem that even a person like me could appreciate. Well done!

Sincerely, Bilal Ahmad

Very nice. I hope it`s not based on personal experience....if it is, I am sure the words only partly reflect how you must feel.

Beautifully written !The subtle changes in the feelings are well portrayed .

I shall be looking out for your work ! well done .

Shirin

Hussain,

At your age you ought to be thinking of the next first kiss.

Hello Hussain Burhani, I saw your name it rang a bell and after seeing that you go to school at Emory I knew it was none other than the guy who I know and have to talked to once on the phone long time ago, yet never met, I guess the people we both know are Fatima and Shanza, anyways a well written poem, hope you are doing well buddy!

Take care.

Welcome to CHOWK Hussain!
A Well written poem here.
I`m sure glad that more KGS people are discovering this site and contributing to it.

Ras

Hussain:

A very warm welcome to Chowk. Loved the ebb and flow. Please contribute more.

later

-sac

ahmadb #1:

You wrote “A short, simple, and penetrating poem that even a person like me could appreciate. Well done!”

Since it is evident from your replies on your boards that you read every interact and pay special attention to the words, I would ask you some questions. And since you are not only a gentleman but a scholar also, I hope you’d ignore this questioning mode.

The poet writes:

I
it`s been so long
all that time has seeped away
all that solitude
i hope you feel that way

The first line is obvious. The second and third together indicate that the passage of that time has diffused or done away with the loneliness.

Q1: Whose loneliness?

Moving on, loneliness can be replaced by company. If loneliness has withered away, than whoever was lonely has company now. Since there are wistful, alluring references later on, let us assume that the poet is writing about two people. (We will ignore for now whether they were lovers, parent and child or two friends.)

Q2: Who has company now? One or the other or both?

Q3a: What feelings the poet is writing about?
Q3b: Has he succeeded in linking this line with the rest of the poem so far?
Q3c: What is he hoping for?

III
anger has turned to hurt
the heart lies broken
and the angels are crying

Q4: Why are the angels crying? (Treat this as a deceptively simple trick question.)

IV
hurt has turned to desire
it waits so patiently
frozen in time as life goes by

The passion turned into anger(stanza II) which turned into hurt (stanza III). This hurt turned into desire (stanza IV.)

Q5a: What is the difference between passion and desire.
Q5b: Do you agree with the stages in this transformation?
Q5c: If you disagree, give reasons.

Q6: Why does this desire has no choice but to wait patiently?


V
and that box has been locked
and the key swallowed
yet it steals the heat from my veins
making me so cold
i know you feel that way


Q7: Which box is being referred here?

Q8: How does the key steals or takes away the heat from his veins?

Q9: How can you be certain the poet knows how the other one feels?

Q10: How has this thought been communicated by the other to the poet?

And after you have gone through the above.

Q11: Is this a short, simple poem?

regards,

temporal

PS: Hussain, welcome to Chowk. Please keep writing.

i have always loved poems in CHOWK but your lines are touching and deep.i hope we`ll get to read more stuff like this from you.

p.s i am planning to go to Emory too.

Next time Mr.Burhani gets the urge to write and then the itch to publish it,he should get his true worth tested by doing the following:

1)Use a moniker such as Allah Rakha.

2)claim that he went to the Kharadar madressa.

3)sprinkle it with words & phrases which show his passion,desire,hurt & anger about muslims & Islam.

4)Avoid any semblence of being westernised.

It might be an eye-opening experience for him and his KGS schooling might bring some realities home.

He might think of planting his last kiss on `Literature` and start writing essays & articles instead.

temporal # 8: I will definitely get an ``F`` from you if I had to answer your tough questions. Here is something just for fun: a telephone conversation.

(M)

Tamam um`r tera intezar hum ne kiya

is intezar maiN kiss kiss se pyar hum ne kiya

I hope you fell that way

(F)

Tum se bichharh ke hum bhi muqaddar ke ho gaye

phir jo bhi der mila hey usi der ke ho gaye

I hope you feel that way

(M,F)

Mujh se pehli se mohabbat mere....

Likewise!!!!!!!!

uMmmmMMmMm...find it pretty ordinary...no offence though:)

temporal

.... it is bad enough having to suffer poets and fools - do we also have to suffer critics graciously ?

..... at the risk of showing my ignorance, i must admit that i never quite saw the point of poetry.... was poetry invented because of a shortage of paper and ink?.... or was it a devious way to get around a tax on words and complete sentences ? ....or was it invented to torture future generations of hapless students made to look like fools by cranky welsh spinsters?...what does a poet hope to accomplish by leaving a lot of white space ? is the reader supposed to fill it in ? ..... and talk about poetic license - is it a license to torture plain old rational folks and publishers and english -101 students who are struggling with calc-1 ..... as a child i was made to memorize the following gibberish - i didn`t get it then and i don`t get it now :

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan

A stately pleasure dome decree:

Where Alph, the sacred river, ran

Through caverns measureless to man

Down to a sunless sea.

So twice five miles of fertile ground

With walls and towers were girdled round:

And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,

Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;

And here were forests ancient as the hills

Enfolding ...enfolding ... enfolding

........ some nights i still wake up in a cold sweat, racking my brain for what the heck was enfolding ... enfolding .... that`s it !

... enfolding sunny spots of greenery

phew ! what a relief ... and still trembling from the ordeal i try to go back to sleep...... ! i still don`t know what a sinuous rill is and don`t care what ails christabel`s mastiff !

temporal #8 I think I know the answer to your question 4 ``Why are the angels crying?`` - They have been following too many chowk discussions. Right, professor?

Dear All

`` at chowk you are welcome to read write and think``

can all of you make an effort to be friendly and kind or is it against the rule here...

regards

zara

hamidm #14 If poetry was a means for tax evasion, as you suggest, BB and NS would be competing for the title of poet laureate. You also pick one of my favorite pieces of poetry to illustrate your various points, but unfortunately leave out the best part:

``...A savage place ! as holy and enchanted

As e`er beneath a waning moon was haunted

By woman wailing for her demon-lover !...``

Of these lines, a famous critic (whose name I cannot recall right now) wrote that in all of English literature ``These lines are pure magic, the rest is only literature``.