Pity

Godot, re. #26

I visited the `Dinner Guest board to see the incriminating evidence. Found none. Sir/Madam, I really think you`re overreacting. I see no `racism` operating in joking about the improper use of language (as associated with a race).

Or perhaps you are not aware of the biblical significance of the ``I am Who I am`` assertion?

Btw, temporal miaN, it`s WHO, not WHAT.

...though I`d rather have WHAT! :)

rgds,

PM

Sameer,

I`ll pen a reply to you post later, time permitting.

The beginning was absolutely beautiful but i really hate it when people who are bitter want others to be just as bitter . Whatever the couple has is special even if it might only be for a short time and most people would treasure this time regardless of the outcome .

Urstruly# whatever......

``Love is not in man`s genes it is a learned behavior which was taught to him by women. Over the centuries it might have caused some genetic abberation in some of of the men-quite possibly in poets and gays.``

ha ha ha ha ha!

regards

Harpreet

Dear Urstruly,

I appreciate the honesty in your post.Much more than ``Decent guys doing noble causes``.I may even tend to agree with you!The genetic modification between the two sexes however true it may be ,sadly does have an element of a feeling of loss in it !

Take care ,

Shirin

Urstruly, #27

What gibberish! Who let you out of the cave?

PM #22:

[....hmmpphh! So where is that temporal guy anyway when we really would like to hear from him???...]



THUS SPEAKETH
THE VICTIM:

PARTIALLY
ON LOVE

(Thank you Pat. As a life long student of the aberrant behaviour of the Devi I can share many a insight. This is a wide canvas. Need to narrow it down.)

If I were to take all available descriptions of Love, personify it, and arbitrarily divide that person at the waist into two, this is what we may find in the top half.

I love my car. Takes me to the gas station. She loves gasoline. Once filled, she takes me where I want to go. And back so I can indulge in other loves.

I love words. Look for them in books written with love and passion or hatred and fury by authors who have experienced the various manifestations of love.

I love moderation in excess and hate hatred, also in excess. And I find the latter-- hatred --- not excess rather troubling at times.

I love peace. Peace and tranquillity enable me to reflect on other things I love. Nature and its mysteries. Why there is so much hatred overflowing in us desis. To twist an old dictum -- where there is hate there is love? Only here it seems we are mostly awash in Hatred not Love. But I keep probing for the elusive love here. And often, and unexpectedly I succeed in finding it here.

I love friends in the narrowest sense of the word. Am lucky in that I do have a few of them. Could not dream of living without their loyalty, concern, affection, thoughtfulness and support. Could not thank them enough. Thank you M! Thank you others. You know who you are. I depend on you.

I love plants. They exude pleasure and peace of a different kind. They are serene and unobtrusive, undemanding and uncomplaining. They give off oxygen. And they depend on me.

I love my neon tetra. She has an attention span of fifteen seconds. It intrigues me to think about what she may be thinking as she swims in the aquarium from end to end. Perhaps it makes sense that she has short attention span. Or existence may be unbearable for her. I also wonder if she is capable of loving me back. Or of thinking.

Allow me to share a secret with you. Sometimes I love being left alone. Mainly so I can indulge in a lifelong nurtured passion of doing nothing. As if I have this innate urge to be called a lazy bum. Sometimes I steal a moment or two on a secluded beach in the Caribbean from Mother Nature and usually gloat over those stolen moments for a long time after returning to the frigid North.

Pat, these are some hurried observations of the Love I have felt and experienced from the waist up in the allegory.

As for ‘hmmpphh!’ can I associate this with a certain horizontal noise made by animate and inanimate objects? This kind of love, intrinsically but not totally experienced from the waist down, has intrigued me since early teen years. (Oh, don’t be alarmed. Experts tell me it is normal!) And have been personally collecting lustful and climactic experiences, observations and impressions for the past many years:) In this never-ending quest I have come to certain conclusions that modesty prevents me from properly and adequately sharing here.

Nashaa pyar ka
kabhi kabhi
nafrat kay nashay say
baRRh kur talkh hota hay.

Pyar aur nafrat
paat haiN ik hee chuckki kay
pistay haiN jub is chuckki maiN
tou mohabbat-e-asli ka pata patay haiN.

Aa’mayzish hay yeh mohabbat
---sahara, saa’ya, saath,
qurbat, chahat, zaroorat,
garmi, beemari,
yakta, milaap, andaisha, lam’s
mooskurahat, shar’m, soorkhi...
lakh roop haiN iskay
aur zindagi?
Ek hay woh!

regards,

temporal

PS: Godot, yaar lighten up. You are mistaken, I am not the one who has claimed piety. Or prophethood! :)

PS: And a warm welcome to you Paritosh, please keep writing.

Does Dayakar have anything better to do than to check out other people, and then agonize over it? Why should the couple listen to Dayakar? Did they ask for his advice? Can`t he mind his own business? This piece sounds like a plot for an Indian movie!

The story started out promisingly, with the wind and the sand imagery. Then, starting with the second paragraph, whoooosh, like fast air out of a balloon, it died pretty quick. Pity.

Shirin # 25

I agree that lust and love are two different things. But as far as male species are concerned lust is the main driving force behind love. In other words the lust uses a vehicle of love, respect, and understanding (and all such nice things) basically to fulfill its need. Love, respect, and understanding are just means to that end.

I also think that the ideas of love, respect, and understanding (b/w men and women) are an ``invention`` of the female species. As it is said that necessity is the mother of invention; The necessity at the time when notion of love was ``invented``, was that female species needed someone to take care of them while they themselves couldnt. I think those times were around pregnancy and childbirth. Off course I am talking about the time when we started living in caves.

All of the above makes sense when you observe the behavior of female species now when they are ``independent``. Those who are most independent consider sex as rape even if it is with their own spouses. Usually that is number one item on any Woman Activist group`s agenda. It is also intersting to note that (I am using the word independence in the sense of non-dependence) women`s independence almost always comes at the cost of love. But what is more intesting is that they blame it on men whereas man was not capable of loving in the first place. Love is not in man`s genes it is a learned behavior which was taught to him by women. Over the centuries it might have caused some genetic abberation in some of of the men-quite possibly in poets and gays.

Re: PM, #22

He`s recovering from that racist joke of his that he posted in Kaneez Rehman`s ``The Dinner Guest.`` That ``joke`` of his gives an insight into his mind that hides behind the facade of an enlightened being he puts up. What a Pity!

Urstruly # 17

I feel love is a twin word for caring,sharing , respecting each other.The finality of how one telescopes into it varies individually.

If love and sex are inseparable as you feel, is it love or is it lust ?

I would love to read your tumour story too !!

Thank you for relating to some of my thoughts though :)

regards ,

Shirin

Studebaker # 13,

``It would be great injustice to the decent guys who despite Not having those infatuations or love since childhood do those good things , mary a girl with multiple sclerosis [ a girl ur name sake shirin in chicago ] or a nurse paraplegic wife without abandonment , with love happening AFTER marriage ``

... Clearly there are a few things to be recognised in the discussion here .

Well to go and marry a physically challenged girl, is a very noble thing to do. However it should not be out of pity , but love for that person, a care for that person and a desire to make her happy .If all this is possible in marrying her before falling in love with her, I salute the intention, and the underlying sincereity in the act. Realistically speaking how many guys would actually do that ?

``adolescent crush infatuation are normal but to attribute such nobel actions to it , is a bit too much ``.

Kindly elucidate !

Regards ,

Shirin

Patrick: Interesting discussion about love, pure or unconditional. In general, I would agree with what most have been saying about love. Obviously, the love between boy and girl is not as blind as you might think. Both parties involved actually subconsiously measure and analyze several factors before falling in love. Sometime these steps take few seconds and sometime very long. Procreation, without a doubt, is main instinct. Have you ever wonder why most love affairs will not involve disabled, paralyzed, not considered pretty and, of course, usually not across cultural boundaries.

There is a grave downside to love which most people do not think of. That is, how does it effect others-not directly involved. Take for example the true motherly or fatherly love for their child. In places like Pakistan, parents would like their child to be admitted to the best school they can afford. The number of students that can be admitted are often limited. Out of love, they might trample at the right of another more deserving one. Love here leads to corruption. Another parents eould like to feed their children best, hamburgers, chicken or steak. Basically more love parents have for their children, more animals will be killed because afterall life eats life. I wish there was a way to ask all the goats and sheep a simple question: what do they think of Abraham`s love for his God and his boys Issac or Ishmael? A simple love story has been responsible for yearly holocaust of couple of particular species of animals. Not just animals, humanity has also paid price many times for blind crazy love for nation/ race etc. (Hitler was crazy (in love) about his nation).

Here is a true recent story from my family, I thought you might enjoy. My brother is very comitted Muslim and prays five times a day. He also has a 2 1/2 year old son who is very attached to his dad. Somehow this child has realized that when daddy turns his head right and then left; it is the end of prayer and he can play with his dad again. Many times when my brother has not finished his prayer yet, my nephew comes behind my brother and tries to turn his dad`s head right or left because child can not wait for his dad to finish his love for God. Which love is more important? For God or for son. I know so many cases where love for God comes at the expense of loved ones. Many middle class families has tough time meeting the demands of their children and various excuses are used. But same parent go out and try to buy a healthy goat/ sheep for Eid-love of God.

Only acceptable true love must be absolutely harmless to others and that is speculative love. All practical loves will step on somebody, somewhere, somehow. The object of love in speculative is imaginery as in meditation. It is for self satisfaction and unlike boy-girl love, the object of love is not involved because it is imaginery.

Here is another example. I truly love my mother. She has recently suffered a stroke and currently hospitalized. My love for her is meaningless to her right now. I am here in US and she is in Islamabad. For my own satisfaction in this love relationship, her condition is effecting all my activities including writing replies at chowk. I have not listened to any music or turned my TV on for 4-5 days now. But all my actions do absolutely no good for her. This is self imposed and in a way similar to speculative love.

urstruly.. can`t wait for your story.

Paritosh:

Very well written. Loved the ending. Write more.

later

-sac

hmmpphh! So where isthat temporal guy anyway when we really would like to hear from him???

Paritosh, I enjoyed reading this simple, ironic piece. Quite beautiful. And inadvertantly (?) funny, or was that intentional?