Pity

#17 Urstruly

I think you need a break from Chowk for a while. You sound very disoriented.

I have a ``tumor-story`` to share with you guys but I think I will write it as an article. Tumor-love is real and true, I can testify that. I can also testify that the love between a man and woman can be as selfless as the parental love.BUT sex usually gets in the way. I think extra/pre-marital sex degrades love down to the satisfaction of a basal instinct only. Love is a psychological need (which I think is a learnrd behavior and not instinctive) that cannot be satisfied with sex alone. However, I truly beleive that in all cases sex is the prime mover.

Anamika #14

``Parental love, on the other hand CAN BE selfless,and sacrificial.It is love that expects nothing in return .It simply is ``.

I am not refuting this by any measure.Thinking why it is so ? the answer is obvious like they say ``Apney khoon ka rishta ``.Biology has its stronghold in shaping this love to the way it is .

In the other kind which is depicted in the article , it can vary anywhere from pure, unspoilt, true, ... lust and heat of the moment.That is where the test stands .It is , and it can be unselfish too.To truly love someone and want them ,beyond just mere passion or a sensous desire is i think not being selfish in the least .What other way can two hearts meet? ... if there is a certain want in that, i dont thing it is objectionable.It would be very unnatural infact if it were not there .

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#13 Shirin

If pure love is the same as unconditional love, then it is rare to nonexistent in romance. The selfishness part is where one covets the other. Parental love, on the other hand, CAN BE selfless and sacrificial. It is love that expects nothing in return. It simply is.

All said, nice story, well narrated.

Asim Hayat # 5

Asim , i was not writing, as if i was encaptured in a love sick kind of a mood , esp. the kind after reading one of those fairy tale love stories .The reason what i wrote was based on personal experiences, where i have been a witness to teen age or younger innocent love bloom, in its purest form , to maturity and adulthood . I have before me a few incidences in our family, which i will relate .It is these incidents which perhaps made me look at the love of the two young hearts in a different perspective .

A cousin of mine , used to join sometimes with her brothers in a game of cricket[ a neighbourhood affair ].If any one of the boys would feel thirsty , they would all come over to my cousin`s place for a drink of water .This age bracket , which i am referring to was [8-12]years apr. My cousin was the 8 yr. old only girl amongst the group.Amongst the guys was a very sweet young boy, then probably 10 or 11 yrs. He was very fond of my cousin, and whenever she would give him a glass of water he would say to her `` when i grow up, i am going to marry you ``.It was all taken as a joke, but known by all the adults .

It so happened that my cousin and their family got posted out of town, and somehow lost touch.Many years passed by , the boy and my cousin grew up. The boy went to college , university, and my cousin got married and went to canada .The wedding was arranged in a big hurry, as the boy was also a relative so really there were not the ``investigation procedures ``, to be done as the case usually is if it is someone unknown. The poor girl landed into misery. Her married life was anything but bliss .With a lot of difficulty , she managed[ after a few years ]to get a divorce .Meanwhile the little boy, now a dental surgeon in Pakistan , had not forgotten his love all this while .He was heartbroken when he had heard the news of my cousin`s marriage and refused to get married after that. As soon as he heard of the divorce , he was ectatic, the boy and girl met , and got married , and are now living ``Happily ever After Mashallah ``, in canada , and blessed with a lovely young son.

Similarly another one of my cousin`s loved this girl in her class. It was purely the playground love , as both were in the early elementary class then. As time rolled by ,both the girl and the boy graduated , and were going to be engaged , when a great tragedy befell the girl. She was diagnosed with brain tumour, was operated ,and during the surgery a nerve was damaged and she lost partial vision in her eyesight .Also the drs. said they were not sure about the recurrence of the tumour .It was indeed a very sad time .But true love stands the test of all weather and time .My cousin did not loose hope .This girl was the love of his life and he was ready to marry her in any condition, overlooking all medical hurdles which came in the way. Eventually , the girl recovered slowly but surely , and the couple got married .Both bride and groom looked so happy , conquering the world .Now mashallah they are doing really well. it has been almost over 5 yrs. since the wedding , the girl is in good health .The endorphins generated through their happiness and love sure did the trick.

Now this may sound like a typical ``Mills and Boons `` replay, even hard to swallow , but every bit is true .

True love does exist in this world .How about giving the benefit of doubt that those two teenagers could also live happily ever after .

Maybe i am a romantic myself at heart , or maybe it is these incidences which might have moulded my thoughts !

Though i entirely agree , every case of two tenagers bunking school, and romancing on the beach does not land ``happily ever after ``, but lets just for a moment wish for them and their alikes that it did !!

Regards ,

Shirin

welcome to chowk. a great story. very ironic.

Dear Paritosh . . . do you think they were discussing the Kashmir issue and laughing over it, and if not, then why not, and what was or were their religions etcetc . . . hey only joking . . . neat tale . . . Zen?

Thanks folks, for the nice comments.

It was Dayakar`s past experience that made him cynical about others` joys and not necessarily the correct view point, if there is anything as a correct view. The irony, of course, was that each pitied the other.

But I am glad that all of you read it seriously and thought of facets that I myself did not have fully in mind. Thanks.

- Paritosh.

re. Asim #4

``Besides, pure love is an oxymoron, except in the context of parents and children. All adult love is selfish, and motivated by our desire to to be recognised, appreciated, and last but not least, a way for nature to do its dirty laundry. Procreation sans limits.``

So what places parental love above the `dirty` realm of nature anyway? Isn`t it still all about biological imperatives for survival of species?

Okay, how about we both drop the word ``all`` above in favour of ``most(ly)``

Yours searchingforitagain (sigh!),

PM

By the way, were you a part of that anti Valentine`s day demonstration in India?

I saw a news report (I think on the BBC) showing parts of the uprising.

One group of these Indian citizens were actually chanting ``chummay chummay nahi chalaingay,`` and were burning posters portraying young lovers.

It was the funniest thing.

I thought about that, reading your story :)

What a simple yet complicated story.

Nicely written too.

Dear Paritosh,

Welcome to Chowk! Enjoyed reading this piece as a commentary on the kind of cynicism that has perhaps been around as long as romantic love has.

hmm...... ``But there was no use telling them now. They wouldn’t listen to him, even try to understand. They would laugh at his fears, his pity. It could happen to others, not to them, not to their special love. Their unique everlasting eternal love.``

I would argue that their love was indeed special, inasmuch as no one else were feeling THEIR feelings ... maybe there`s a lesson there for all of us... how to treat each moment as `special` and unique-- our very own!

`Eternal` love? Yes again. (Linear) time, you see, loses its meaning altogether in the eternity of the moment of rapture. at least whilst it lasts, its `forever`.

Make sense??

Keep writing.. you`re obviously gifted.

oh, and hope Dayakar isn`t you.. I mean.. to be that cynical at 24 is such a, well, pity.

best regards,

PM

Re: Shirin

``However i am a bit dissapointed at pure love being portrayed and seen in a negative way``

Is it pure love which is being depicted in this excellent piece. I think not.

Besides, pure love is an oxymoron, except in the context of parents and children. All adult love is selfish, and motivated by our desire to to be recognised, appreciated, and last but not least, a way for nature to do its dirty laundry. Procreation sans limits.

Teenagers could hardly understand what love is, let alone `true` love. Adults are in love of the idea of being in true love, not necessarily realising that there is not any such thing.

Ironically, enraptured in true love, :)

Asim

Dear Paritosh,

This is a beautiful piece.However i am a bit dissapointed at pure love being portrayed and seen in a negative way.

Love has no age, no restrictions ,no limits , if pure , innocent and true .

It is a form of worship, something very sacred , and should be regarded as so .

I feel pity for ``Dayakar ``, being deprived of this , and not feeling the joy in seeing this , rather the flip side of it !! too bad !!

Shirin

i wonder, was it dayakar`s innate negativism/cynicism that made him blind to the beauty of life or was it a previous experience that caused him to put down the joy in the presence of another person`s being?