In Sanity

I am saddened by your thoughts. These are exactly the worries God meant us to avoid when the Islam was declared to be our religion. Had you had true and proper guidance in the very beginning- had a sagacious mother to explain your code of life; ypou would have been unaware of these troublesome thoughts. Like they say: Never say never, and It`s Never Too Late, you are young and vulnerable, but Islam can save you IF YOU KNOW HOW TO ASK ALLAH`S HELP.

Best Wishes.

fzk:

shouldn`t that be ``s``bhaji? :-)

Bhaanjiji i also like the way uve spoken up for yrself to missfit/misfit...missfit/misfit, get a life! :) fawziaaapi

Bhaanji, im sho impressed -dint know u had it in u, finally discovered it and am damn proud of it.

jusht my shtyle! i am bowled over,darling.

Hey u know if u ever have a serious thot like dat u can talk to me first okay? Been there, done that,etcetc ;)

-fbaji

harimau,

I`ve started the ``penis god worshipping society``. I promise you, you`ll forget the powers of Viagra when you accept the awesome power of the lingum.

First meeting is tomorrow. We are going to elect a president. I`ll be very glad to throw your name in the hat, if you like. I`d also invite you to read my article on ``Penis god`s therapeutic effects in psychiatric illness`` in the American Journal of Janitorial Psychiatry. Darn Chowk censors turned it down.

We penis god worshippers are fun loving people. Everybody`s invited. The penis god is also extremely liberal. No restrictions on what devotees can eat. The only food items NOT allowed are gurda masala & Rocky Mountain oysters. Only depraved people eat those things.

Chowk Staff,

Please honor the sensitivities of us penis god devotees & not censor our posts, like you have in the past. There are NO vulgarities in us pious people. Considering the fact that you have posted articles on masturbation & ``giving head`` by besharam desis who pray to the penis god only in their fantasies & dont have the guts to come out of the closet (or under the bedsheets) & worship openly.

YLH #134

Phir Pakistan.

Is there any institution in Pakistan apart from Maddressah.

Asma Jehangir was educated in Pakistan! We often forget that.

YLH

PM: Kamran, Welcome back. Where u been?

Patrick, life got in the way. But I plan to push it aside to focus once again on what`s important. Soon enough . ;)

Let me step out of the light now. This is Zehra`s party.

Z, the City was good to me, even without Korean food (had decent Indian on 2nd + 6th, Haveli). Next time I`ll give more notice. Hope the desi hitchfest was fun.

-!K!-

. . . oh, ok, jerking off and feeling warm while dying and feeling cold. Go into some of the ancient texts and the relationship between death and the ultimate orgasm gets clear.

. . . on another note, let me assure all the young people on this board that, properly handled, sex after marriage can become even more fun than sex before marriage. But for that you got to have sex before marriage. Therein lies the problem, head or no head, before or after, with a lot of desis the good parts about sex are usually all only in the head till they/he/she get married.

(Sighs) Queen Victoria does not know how beautifully she rogered our middle class.

I think we all need a quite a bit of learning! and sensing that you are quite educated in the art of enjoyable/fun/good sex, I`d say enlighten us!

Re: Zehra Rizvi, #124

Zehra, my post in response to your article was, well, what`s that word, no, not blunt...that`s it...cruel. I can be very cruel to others at times. Like aggression, that is also in my nature. But eventually...and this happens without exception...my goodness triumphs over my badness. It was in that context...thinking about my first response to your article...that in spit of it...I wrote my reply #120.

``...maybe you mean in spite of not wanting to like me you do...``

Not only I want to...I do.

uh sorry..wrong window

Reply Saxena Sahab # 176

``You seem to believe in an entirely new and compassionate religion which looks nothing like Islam. Even your countrymen will agree with that.``

You dear sir are sadly (gladly?) mistaken. Tahmed sahab believes in the true spirit of Islam

which is based on humanity love for all (Yes u too!) and being good human beings before anything else. The jehadis and mullas you all love so much are not what Islam is all about. They are what people will pick out and bych about but please keep in mind that they do not represent Islam- they are just a sad misguided bunch.

``Why do so many Muslims have a tough time accepting what is utterly wrong in their religion and discarding it instead of trying cover it up with it-is-a-misinterpretation arguments?…Christians admitted the Crusades were wrong and moved on. Hindus accepted that the caste system was wrong and made it illegal``

At the risk of sounding obnoxiously self-righteous may I say that we do not find anything ``utterly wrong`` in our religion. You talk of the Hindu caste system. That Islam deems ALL men equal should make a point in our favor here. I will not get into the crusades since I`ve had enough of that in history class to last me a lifetime and its grandmother.

There are parts of the Quran that are misinterpreted by well meaning and not so well meaning people but then something of such a high exalted level isn`t everybody`s piece of cake. A certain amount of maturity and sensitivity is required of one for such a spiritual task i .e understanding and more so preaching from the Quran and it is this that tahmed sahab has been displaying since the last 20 posts or so. Please keep in mind that Islam is a beautiful religion and not what you get to see and hear on CNN.

Zehra,

Do not get upset dear child. I have no basis not to like you, even if you would like to believe so.

Regarding marriage, it is the beginning of the end for the woman. Love does not exist except in the minds of young idealists like you.

I know you are a free soul and like to tell people you are, is language such as ``fooked up`` really necessary. A simple ``messed up`` would have been sufficient. It saddens me to see intelligent young folks use such language.

Shankar (#109):

[“Farzana, That was hysterical:)”]

You know how afraid I am of this term :) Everything is hysterical about me on the other Boards. I wonder if Missfit would say something about that. You know, neglected by mother, gives head, loses it…will naturally squirt out stuff… Well, at least I know where I am coming from.

[“{{About your penchant, I was wondering whether your penis god is lodged in your foot.}}

huh? why?”]

Because you had said, “Sigh..why do I have this penchant of opening my mouth & putting my foot in it? Esp when I`m proud to say I REFUSE to entertain the penis god in it?``

Hope I haven’t said anything offensive. Gosh, not here as well!

Sac (#113):

[“Being the fortunate member of the male variety, I thought all sex was good(silly me!!). I think its time for the ladies to take matters into their own hands...how about Madame Zehra and Farzana doing a weekly sex-ed column in Chowk for the us the bad-sex, lack of stamina infested desis? All those in agreement say kneel......”]

Firstly, did you consult the ..er…member? Two, now the ladies have to use their hands as well…whew! Three, even if we did start a sex-ed column, would the exhausted desis be able to keep up?

Well, kneel anyway… you just might hit pay dirt.

Zehra (#120):

[“farzana...don`t you love it how we get the title madame as soon as sex is associated with it? madame zehra...sex column eh? farzana you up for it?”]

I think he said Madam, but trust us with our filthy minds to give it the French touch (deep soul and all) – Madame, very Flaubert. Sex column? Wonder if I have the head for it… Anyway, I did an Agony sort of column in Bombay and also for one of those nanga-punga magazines and my first sentence read, “I am not anyone’s bloody aunt.” Well, you may not qualify, but imagine me, auntieji, telling little truant boys about how to go down gently into the night…

Hey, you want to give it a shot? You can tap me for feedback at some point. At the moment, my lips are sealed. Hmm…

Farzana

veeresh babu, why do you want me to spell everything out yaar? not you too..sniff sniff...im slowly losing all hope.
the character masturbates and is thus warm even though she should be cold.
happy?

godot...in spite of what? i dont remember provoking you...hmmm...maybe i have. or maybe you mean in spite of not wanting to like me you do :) thats sweet.

missfit...my mom has her reasons....and even if im sitting altu faltu, thats certainly no excuse to get married..and i never plan to set a time limit as to what age or in what phase of my life years of sexual experimentation must start or stop..that`s very silly of you to bring up as a definitive thing that one must do before marriage...as if after marriage it`s all downhill. i would hope not since i plan on marrying somone i love.
maybe what you meant to say is that for someone like me (shamless immoral young person that i am) marriage is when i will settle down and become more mature and stop giving head and become a good moral useful person of society.
say it like it is..you don`t like me and you htink im fooked up...that`s fine...im glad you do. or what i mean to say is that if somoeone like you thinks that somoeone like me is fooked, i feel like im doing something very right.

:)

rizvi.