In Sanity

Re: Zehra Rizvi, #120

``godot..challo, atleast you`ve started to write/talk about it.``

I love the way you insert the Urdu words when you`re writing in English. Very natural. And inspite of it all, Zehra, I really like you. Really.

I asked a friend who is a doctor, he may be wrong. But if you are leaking blood while committing suicide then apparently you feel cold, not warm. Sorry, lady, this one looks like it is all in the head . . .

Zehra,

I take it you are only 23 years old. Why is your mother, being the educated lady that she is, pressuring you at such a young age? If you are not running around altu faltu, do not get married yet. Besides you still have five or six more years of sexual experimentation to enjoy. You never know, you might marry a man who takes the six out of the sixty nine. And if that happens, you`ll be on the losing end unless you follow the route Lorena Bobbit took.

missfit. you have me giggling...yaar, my mother was always available..she worked nights after we all went to bed.
im telling you...im not a black and white open and shut case...i think i write and articulate most of my ideas to showcase that, to bring it up and talk about it...mostly to shake things up. paradoxes are great.
the thing my mom is most ambitious about is getting me married..that activity is centered around me so i dont feel too neglected by it.

godot..challo, atleast you`ve started to write/talk about it...here i am sticking my scrawny neck out all by myself. chowk is one big voyeristic pleasure ground.

arif...the fun on chowk is calling people names and pretending you know the kind of people they are and making basless assumptions...where would chowkwalay be without that? its what makes chowk soooo unique. the bashing. i was ready otherwise i would have used a psedonym. i think i needed this story to be about me though.

farzana...don`t you love it how we get the title madame as soon as sex is associated with it?
madame zehra...sex column eh? farzana you up for it?

rizvi

well written piece. i`ve never quite understood why people begin talking about the author instead of what they`ve written. odd... the automatic assumption that everything someone writes is autobiographical and even if that`s so, that gives the reader the license to comment on any and every aspect of the writer`s life. personally, i identify with a lot of what zehra wrote, and well, i happen to think that the paradoxes are kinda cool which is perhaps why i`m no longer suicidal. oh, and then there`s love :).

a.

Re: Zehra Rizvi, #110

``what kind of sex are you people having?``

Speaking for myself, better than you can imagine. No holds bar. But I don`t go around talking about it, especially in a public forum. [Yes, it`s me, the hypocrite.]

Zehra,

Children who desire attention partake in naughty activities. They do not attempt to commit suicide. There is a difference between childhood attention grabbing tactics and childhood depression. I am willing to bet that your mother was not very ``available`` during your childhood.

Perhaps she was too busy working and you reflected the lack of maternal love through a subconscious depression that manifested itself into a suicide attempt. Children of ambitious career oriented parents (where children are often put under the care of a third party) are more prone to unreasonable bouts of rebellion. Another common trait amongst these children, when they grow up, is that they seek to distance themselves from family members (esp. parents) both physically and emotionally. This is my opinion on the matter and an attempt to analyze your situation. In no way is this an attack to criticize your family. Please do not take offense.

Kamran9999

Welcome back. Where u been?

Urstruly (the original), ditto. :)

Zehra - 110

``ask a man how he feels about kisssing those lips....``

did taht!! No ickiness there - teh shameless pig!!

``don`t worry...you don`t have to kiss yourself after you`ve given head.``

i`ll try v hard not to : )

``someone told me this world was full of people having bad sex....i thought it an exaggeration but my god...this is alarming.``

V V true. Read sometime somewhere on the net half of Singapore`s population couldnt tell whehter they had had sex - as they had no idea what sex was about. But then am a bit more worried about things closer to `ome.

Sheyla

I think I understand what you are trying to say. ( I used the word ``understand`` just to complete the sentence). But in my opinion the last thing that a person who is contemplating; or one who has tried but failed; or even if you are related to one who has succedeed; is to keep quiet. I think it is our moral obligation to intervene if you find one from the above catagories. I think a person from the first two catagories particularly are trapped in a circular loop of thoughts that only bring him/her to only one conclusion. It is like a hamster trapped in a wheel who runs but goes nowhere. If you intervene you can break this loop. I am no psychiatrist therefore I have no idea what will be the result of an effort if such thoughts are glorified or tonned down as the author did in this article? Probably, it may tone down the moral detterent as well-so it may back-fire. I dont know.

I am only sure of only two things ``intervene`` and ``no one deserves or have right to take his own life``.

re Zehra #110:

There was some link posted earlier that claimed that most Indian men are extremely bad lovers(something that can be applied to Pakistani men too, I am sure). Now we have the shocking revelation that most desis are having bad sex. Being the fortunate member of the male variety, I thought all sex was good(silly me!!). I think its time for the ladies to take matters into their own hands...how about Madame Zehra and Farzana doing a weekly sex-ed column in Chowk for the us the bad-sex, lack of stamina infested desis? All those in agreement say kneel......

later

-sac

P.S: I`d be more than delighted to volunteer my (in)adequate services when threesomes are under discussion.....

Interesting comments.... Personally, people who are contemplating suicide have a lot more interesting things to say than the self righteous ones.

As for people in pakistan not having the best sex... its all a frame of mind.. one man`s blessing is another man`s curse.

Zehra #110

Is it some form of revenge on monogamous impotents.

I have never realized that Shiism has so advanced for equality of men and women that it is now allowing Muta`a for women also. Does a man need to be widow or not you did not clarify. And the man will bear the child or not is also not clear also.

I will give you a sincere advise. Don`t marry for the sake of people or your parents. You will not only ruin your life, but the life of your husband and will shatter your family.

Once you decide to raise a family, then think about marriage with all its attendant responsibilities.

shelya...if it`s not written about and only
whispered about it, its such a taboo that it is
never talked about....when its never talked
about, thats when its really dangerous.
people are ashamed and so helpless that
they see no other way out...that`s just not right.

missfit...at the age of seven i was being
stubborn and wanted attention...i will not
believe that most people at some point in their
life have not thought about ending it.
and don`t presume to know how people who
are having sex feel about each other...are you
only going to allow us one love in our lives
now?

studebaker...not once have i said i got the end
of any short stick. i think my helplessness
and (i dont like that word helplessness...im
going to exchange it with humanity and feeling
for that)...i think its universal. ive felt it in
pakistan, in nyc, in florence in toronto....there
are those god damn days when i wake up and
think, why the hell should i strive again today if
this man sitting in this subway car can`t even
find a place to pee?
it wouldnt have mattered where i grew up...
not that it should matter but we moved back to
pakistan...my parents did the opposite. dont
flag me down or close this up so easily...its
not that easy and i will not let people make it
black and white....its gray and its murky and
maybe there arent solutions....just hope and
goodwill. which is what most people are on
the short end of.

aicha..ask a man how he feels about kisssing
those lips....don`t worry...you don`t have to kiss
yourself after you`ve given head.

what kind of sex are you people having? i
would so badly love to open up a sex ed non
profit for men and women in pakistan....after
reading these responses, perhaps just for
people of pakistani heritage the world over.
sad, a whole nation struck down this
way....can we blame zia for this too? islam
never said have bad sex so, its just the
people.
someone told me this world was full of people
having bad sex....i thought it an exaggeration
but my god...this is alarming.

say it isnt so.

rizvi

Farzana,

That was hysterical:)

{{But I am hurt when you add...``in India i.e``. Are we any less than our Western counterparts? As Ghalib would have said, ``Main bhi mooh mein zabaan rakhta hoon....``}}

Oh well, just to clarify, I`m married to an Indian woman; so I know what they (at least one) does or doesnt.

{{About your penchant, I was wondering whether your penis god is lodged in your foot.}}

huh? why?

.

there is no creativity...no art..in writing about suicide...it`s no joke..don`t use it as an avenue for creative writing.....

from a person who lost a sibling due to suicide