In Sanity

Re: hamidm, #41

Why would someone who comes from a stable family and who has a good relationship (more like a friendship) with his/her parents would contemplate suicide?

I think there is a direct relationship between a family that is stable and caring to those who commit, or even contemplate committing, suicide. That is, I believe the more emotionally stable and caring the family, the more emotionally stable and happier its children.

What I know of you from your posts, hamidm, you have nothing to worry about. You probably are a wonderful father, and I bet your daughters adore you. And I can probably say it safely that they would not do anything to embarrass you, or would do anything that you would not want them to do. You must be instilling very good moral values in them.

hamidm, as Dominique tells the atheist Howard in `The Fountainhead`, you are very religious in your own way. Good for you.

........ this is scary stuff for a father of two beautiful PAPs .......... as far as i am concerned, they can do whatever they please as long as they never, ever, contemplate committing suicide or marrying a fob from rutgers ............

Zehra,

I really enjoyed your article. It had some very poignant and powerful passages. Some would call me a BBCD, perhaps then i can empathise with you more...perhaps I can`t. Am I a Pakistani or a Brit? I feel Pakistani but I don`t know much about Pakistan! My accent, many of my views are more British..but at the same time I have a strong belief in Islam..I have never questioned it.I thank Allah for that! But often i have been torn between my religious duties and the bright lights and fast living of british life...

Someone mentioned post-masturbatory guilt...tell me about it!

You know suicide is something I have thought about but never seriously--certainly not as seriously as you describe in your article (then again perhaps a lot of this article is fictional? Is it?)...I think life is the greatest gift from Allah...too precious to lose...and of course it is forbidden in Shar`iah...:-) (I`m a Sunni--dont know about shia law though regarding suicide...)

Oh yeh, I didn`t think that Pakistani girls gave head...certainly the girls i`ve been with haven`t (apparently I`m missing out on something REAL good!)..perhaps the girls in the USA are more liberated sexually? Or is it just you?!

:-)

Keep on writing...you are great fun to read! Actually have thought of submitting an article to chowk myself...

Anyway, I`d love to discuss with you one-to-one

email me on sensualpaki@yahoo.com

zehra,

nicely written, convincing in its portrayal. i saw it as a work of fiction but after reading some of your posts, perhaps not.

i have no first hand-knowledge of suicide but i kinda imagined people committing it would possess a f * * *-the-world attitude. they don`t give a damn about ice cream, or toenails painted red. nothing matters at that point. they don`t care; they`re past the point of feeling anger about prom queens and religious upbringings. that`s why the ending felt a little abrupt, a little disjointed, to me.

but that doesn`t explain suicide notes and kamikazes, so once again... i don`t know. and i guess you do. maybe i just wanted more nihilism.

and i felt you on the muslim part. it hit a little too close to home.

and a little side note to akber (#15) - you do need to say more. nice way to take a person`s emotions, pain, outlook on like - and reduce it to a four-letter-term. `ABCD.` how original.

please keep writing, zehra. don`t listen to the political yahoos and the other folks with agendas. some criticize for the sake of criticizing.

nabeel.

PM,

In the context of what Asim and I were talking about, this current piece is also drivel and meaningless...

YLH

Zehra,

Pakistanis are usually very accepting to those who accept them. In any event, I heard you are doing a

film on ``Partition`` at Upenn... Hope you present both sides of the story...

:)

YLH

Re: Zehra

The article seemed like a dream sequence...interesting...almost real...but will it matter when I wake up?

Ciao!

yaar, yasser, that hurt the most...mujhe
american keh kar out the window kardiya.

that is the whole problem you see...i am and i
am not. they ask over here, do you go back
home often? back home ( pakistan) they dont
accept me as one of theirs. that whole shpiel
on take your foreign ideas out of here you
arent one of us is what pakistani`s will say to
me..not umreekans. (sac, so you see the PAP
comment need not apply to me...god waht a
horrible term that is)..
im not saying that i can waltz in and pretend to
know all it takes to be a pakistani living in
paksitan but god, when i do come home how
about listeneing instead of assuming foreign
bred, no good.

most everyone has assumed that im having
identity issues in the states...been there, done
that. i live in nyc, immigrant center...i ride my
exocticness for all its worth.
hope this is making sense...im heavily
medicated ( no, not prozac, tylenol cold and
flu)

rizvi

Yasser:

re. ``Disgusting as ever... good job``

Good hedging! :-)

If I am to believe your #33, I have to find a way to ignore #28, or indeed convince myself that ``these `meaningless` stories`` and other references to ``drivel`` didn`t include the current piece.

rgds,

PM

PM

The comment was in response to Asim Hayat... it was not particularly intended at F Zehra Rizvi, who is an American.

I personally liked the story... hence my earlier comment

``Disgusting as ever, good job.``

sincerely

YLH

Ras Siddique

No I am talking about Karachi`s own poetess, Noshi Gillani. She died of a heroine overdose in 1995/6. It is also said that it was suicide. Her life & death later was glorified and now it is portrayed as a symbol of the plight of intellectual woman in Pak.

Unfortunately I do not have any poetry at this time to share at this time. I like her poetry

So we are talking about two different people.

Asim Hayat #2

What literauture you expect from a certain category of people.

Empty life and whatever life presents pen it down without thinking.

Or it is probably a cultural crises of women first time exposed to a liberitarian society. In that case although it is not creative writing but depicts the life in better way.

I agree with you that life has many manifestations even in America for all sorts of Pakistanis. On Chowk life has only one manifestation.

If you blame chowk staff, that is bad. Jawahara has written to my reply already that it is the choice of Chowk staff. And I have absolutely no plan to refute this claim.

re. Yasser, #28

Get a grip, will ya! This has nothing to do with Pakistan or being Pakistani.

----

Is it just me or is Yasser overplaying his Youthful Indescretion card

If you`re seriously gonna make any inroad into the Pak politcal machinery, hope you lose some of that sophomoric attitude... remember, a man with many times your achievement, much-admired, and half your smugness still didn`t win didly at the polling booth. If there`s anything the Pakistni voter hates more than an incompetence, it`s probably arrogance.

So, my sincere advice to you is to try and accept that there are areas of experience you can`t relate to...and that is no reason to fear and deride them.

good luck...

rgds,

PM

After reading this, it seems as if only a female can truly depict the tearing up of the lumpen fabrics of social order/behaviour- particularly that of the immigrant american community which claims to be secure but is acting defensively simultaneously.

Thankfully the piece did not end up glorifying it all.

Asim Hayat,

Pakistani Intellectuals are representative of the disappointment that our society has faced for the last 2 decades. Most of them are now just capitalizing on this disappointment, cashing their cheques...

The Pakistani Nation and the Nation-state, faces a dire crisis... but the threat is not from the outside, but from the inside... constantly depressing drivel that the so called Pakistani Intellectuals vomit on this board is most alarming.

These ``meaningless`` stories, written to show the world that ``I am a creative person``... are indicators... of a national psyche... we have nothing better to do but think up rubbish.

-Yasser Hamdani

Disgusting as ever... good job