In Sanity

krashid, re. #43 and #63,

A simple sorry would have done it, yaar!

You touched so many emotions, thoughts, feelings, .. and you left them at that. you didn`t try to answer all questions, or resolve all issues. Thats why the piece works so well.

And you`re a gifted writer.. ``Well, there’s no ayah here today and no mirchi. And I hear your love is better than ice cream.``

sensualpaki (#60):

“My moniker? Sensualpaki--well I am of Pakistani and I can be quite sensual I think...what`s the problem?”

No problem at all. If anything, lovely… I mean, I think the Taliban too are a bunch of sensual guys participating in an orgy, and a certain gentleman who comes to every Board I visit to specially point out that I get my jollies here, I even consider his obsession as a ‘crime passionale’. That is how we women with identity crises cope, after taking the Ulema’s divided opinion into consideration on other issues, of course. Btw, why hasn’t anyone ever asked whether Indian women give head? Sigh.

Oh, I am usually accused of finding symbols in everything – at last count I said I found snakes a sexy. And when I decide to take things literally, I goof up. I apologise for missing out on the idiomatic expression “Tell me about it!” and instead going all out to give you a blow-by-blow account (you needn’t thank me coz you didn’t ask). What to do? Engliss is not my mother’s tongue (it is pink; yea, yea, inherited it, though mine is smeared…with vanilla ice-cream). And when I travel to those parts, instead of picking up the nuances of the language, I do what the Queen does – get people down on their knees. Er…curtsy…courtesy.

“As for wondering if pakistani girls gave head--(or wanting it)--I`m sure I`m not the only guy in the world who has had that thought...”

Right you are. And if I juxtaposed “looking for head and thanking Allah at the same time”, I guess I was going by the experience of having had a long telephonic chat with this Paki in England who soon after his maghrib namaaz held forth on precisely the subject you mentioned. Of course, I do know that your 1-2-1 with Z had nothing to do with fellatio. I was just playing ball, that’s all.

“I like your posts!” … Tell me about it :)

Ras Siddiqui(#59):

“Farzana #54,

I do not usually intrude but am somewhat (remotely) interested in the outcome of this one-on-one discussion. (The alternative is another round of discussions on Kashmir)”

I always like your use of words, Ras. Outcome? Let us both wait and watch. The one-on-one is not with me, as you know.

Regarding another round on Kashmir, who’ll buy it and what should be the chosen poison? You are aware that the moment I open my mouth, a horde is ready to aim and shoot. Sometimes, I do feel like asking them, as Mae West so memorably did, “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Besides, where militancy is concerned, I do not follow the standard missionary position.

Anyway, I am less ‘remotely’ interested in both the subjects than you are. Incidentally, for the first-ever time, my post was censored. The dreaded F word with all the asterisks in the right places vanished. So “disdain for the all-consuming (insert word omitted)” left me wondering when they will decide that even my name spells trouble. I can see the storm trooper having just discovered kick-ass already getting ready….or may be not. He is busy trying to find flames in the ashes.

Gosh, and here we are talking about simple oral stuff. What a life.

Zehra:

While you are still hot…with the flu…thought I’d keep the Board lubricated.

Re: krashid

I think you`ve already won the ``Village Simpleton`` title on Chowk.

Now go put together your next disjointed sentence in English on the park bench.

Re: Farzana`s taking the little English prick (Senseless paki) to task...

``I apologise for missing out on the idiomatic expression “Tell me about it!” and instead going all out to give you a blow-by-blow account (you needn’t thank me coz you didn’t ask). What to do? Engliss is not my mother’s tongue (it is pink; yea, yea, inherited it, though mine is smeared…with vanilla ice-cream). And when I travel to those parts, instead of picking up the nuances of the language, I do what the Queen does – get people down on their knees. Er…curtsy…courtesy. ``

Farzana,

The above is simply priceless. The paki englishman thoroughly deserves your wrath for his mindless ``bakwas``.

And what a ``sad b *a *s *t *a *r *d`` that ``little twat`` really is; BTW, that`s ``English speak`` for ``a pathetic creature`` for the less internationally travelled amongst us, in case the buffoon takes it on him to explain his Queen`s English to us peasants, once again.``Jolly Good, old girl. Got to go for me high tea now.``

``People who keep wondering if XYZ girls give head(and that too on forums), seldom get it(pun very much intended)`` (Lord Confucious, an honourary Brit)

Asim Hayat,

Chichoun ki mallian, Pakistan

... astaghfirullah! ...... i can`t believe such language coming from good muslims like asim and farzana ........ do you know that you guys are headed for jahanum in a handbasket ? ....... now, before go too far down this slippery path, let me remind you what allah told gabriel and gabriel told the prophet and the prophet told us :

[24.2] (As for) the fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them, (giving) a hundred stripes, and let not pity for them detain you in the matter of obedience to Allah, if you believe in Allah and the last day, and let a party of believers witness their chastisement.

........ lest you despair - there is life after the the striping .......

[24.3] The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatress or idolatress, and (as for) the fornicatress, none shall marry her but a fornicator or an idolater; and it is forbidden to the believers.

........ and they lived happily ever after .

Re : Hamidm & good muslims

I know they are an esoteric entity; yet they do exist. For most of us it is an oxymoron, being a good Muslim that is. Yet if i do others no harm, and try to do the right thing, and obey all laws , and earn a halal living in this firangi mulk, and maintain my ``sufed-poshi``, and if my religion were not Islam but say something else. Would that mean i would still burn in the hell fires, compared to those dime a dozen Mullah who revel in their hypocrisies, who salivate at the sight of 16 yr old gals at mixed gaterings, and who offer to make nikaah between such girls and and 52 yr old men,without the slightest of ``compunctious visitings of nature``.

That all non believers in Islam are going to hell, without any sort of checkinmg, and that we despite our numerous shortcomings would get to enjoy houris with skin softer than rose petals and orifices too numerous to allow multiple orgies for the faithful, or with landhoors if one is so inclined, is sort of hard to buy.

but we have a lot of people who buy it. So the men get the beautiful boys``, and the ``Houris``. what do the women get for their having suffered abusive marriages and ingratitude, and for being taken for granted. U know it seems our biasses for discrimination, alos continue in the hereafter. From learned sources i am ionformed that good muslimahs are entitled to be reunited with their husbands. One must stop to contemplate if the said husbands are enjoying the bounty of houris, with flesh softer than rose petals, and perky breats, and numerous orifices of pleasure, what need do these have for their wives. But i digress.

Yet, despite it all, I believe in a life hereafter, and all the stuff that goes with it. Though I am not worrying about it 24 hrs of the day, as opposed to making myserlf a better person thru learning the white man`s science, and knowledge.

Sincerely

Asim

P.S Apologies for being open and honest. They say its best to let out ones inner demons from time to time.

Farzana:

``Btw, why hasn’t anyone ever asked whether Indian women give head?``

Because we know they do!!! It`s expected, we are the land of Kaamasutra.

PS. Prudes, take it easy.

RSaxena #68

Looks like you have started to live in humans ultimately and are learning some manners.

Good for you.

PM#

Probably it was a feeling of guilt to comment after reading half the article in my first reply.

Only a sufferer knows the pain.

One of my mentor said to me and will remain always with me ``Although I cannot feel the pain as you, but I can help you in whatever way I can``.

Asim Hayat #71, ``From learned sources i am ionformed that good muslimahs are entitled to be reunited with their husbands.``

Oh goody! My aka, my sartaj will be reunited with me in heaven, and he`ll pick my pudgy self over those ``rosepetaled-perky-breasted-with

-numerous-orifices houris.``

I`d rather go to hell and dance with John Travolta.

Cuerpo de mujer, blancas colinas, muslos blancos,

te pareces al mundo en tu actitud de entrega.

Mi cuerpo de labriego salvaje te socava

y hace saltar el hijo del fondo de la tierra

Fui solo como un tunel. De mi huian los pajaros,

y en mi la noche entraba su invasion poderosa.

Para sobrevivirme te forje como un arma,

como una flecha en mi arco, como una piedra en mi honda.

Pero cae la hora de la venganza, y te amo.

Cuerpo de piel, de musgo, d leche avida y firme.

Ah los vasos del pecho! Ah los ojos de ausencia!

Ah las rosas del pubis! Ah tu voz lenta y triste!

Cuerpo de mujer mia, persistire en tu gracia.

Mi sed, mi ansia sin limite, mi camino indeciso!

Oscuros cauces donde la sed eterna sigue,

y la fatiga sigue, y el dolor infinito.

And do you know what she was wearing? God forbid I let my girls be seen in that get up! How could she?

Anyone would think they were discussing a navel baring, navel piercing little bohemian. Turned out to be an amreeka returned girl in red jeans. The words allah and rasool were whispered in the same breath as the forbidden `red`. Blasphemous, positively blasphemous.

Why doesn`t her mother stop her? She`s probably out of her control. Besides it serves her right for sending a girl abroad - to amreeka of all places. We told her. We told her it was wrong. We told her it was madness, but did she listen? No. What did she expect, but a bey sharam, bey haya (sans shame, sans modesty). Now look at her. God in heaven, she even has male friends. I saw her getting into a car with one - with my own two eyes. Will this girl stop at nothing? Has she no shame. She was at Asia`s yesterday; sitting on the takhat in her low cut kurta, with her horrible short hair. I was so upset to find my son, my only son sitting beside her. And she was laughing. With her mouth open and all and everyone could hear her. Oh it was awful - I couldn`t bear it. I told him to get up right then and there. I saw her expression. Oh, she had guilt written all over her face. She knew what she was doing, the little tart.

How will she ever marry? That`s what I don`t understand. Her poor mother must worry so. Look at her. She`s so dark; no self-respecting mother would allow her son to marry her. And those features - positively wajibi -mediocre, at best, if she`s lucky so they said.

...

asim

`` Would that mean i would still burn in the hell fires, compared to those dime a dozen Mullah who revel in their hypocrisies``

........ i hate to disappoint you, but the answer is ``yes``...... but from what i hear, hell seems to be one hell of a place for a fun-loving guy .... who wants to be closeted with asif naqshbandi, the tabligi jamaat, snotty-nosed boys and houris who look like anjuman and who don`t do you-know-what ?

re. rr #78

That was beautiful!

re. scout #72



That was fun-nee. Didn`t know you had a funny bone that big.

PM

rajanjua #76,

tu eres estupido...