A Nocturnal Battle

mahim, theekh hai bachoo..when i said check out machado, no comment.
check him out in spanish not translated.

mohd faisal...and here i thought we would never agree on anything.

:)
rizvi.

SaadPAslam #17:

Thank you for being so refreshingly civil … and understated:) However, to be fair Bina (#10 and #15) did not pluck out those words from thin air. And the meaning she hints CAN be construed out of those words EVEN though they may not have been intended as such (Mahim#13.)

Poetry is ``the measured language of emotion.`` It is “ The art of apprehending and interpreting ideas by the faculty of imagination…” And “Imaginative language or composition….”

The reader can and does filter the poet’s words and ideas though her/his emotive sensibilities --- the latter a reflection of his/her times, society and mores among other things.

From memory, let me illustrate this with a couplet from Ghalib:

Gulshunn may bund-o-bust b’rung-e-dig’r hay aaj
Qoomri ka tauq halqa-e-bairoon-e-durr hay aaj

Ghalib was lamenting about the changed political clime in India with the Raj in ascendancy.

Today, we can take the same couplet and re-interpret it with greater pleasure and satisfaction to lament the plight of the third world vis-à-vis the first world or the stranglehold of conglomerates and increasing globalisation.

Regards,

temporal

PS: a cryptic note to someone: pls. oblige N.

Thanks Mohd. Faisal.

I used intravenous because i like to vary the levels of diction in my work. Words with more than two syllables intersperse nicely with short ones. High and Low diction is what i aim for.

But rhythm is another thing, that could be improved on of course.

I will check out Machado.

Mahim

Nice poem.

I will be rude and give you a suggestion that make more sense in my own well.

``Intra-venous`` sticks out as if it does not belong to your very short meter: you might want to use a different word.

And the end ``full of my life force...`` is very subtle, very beautiful. I have read a couple of your poems before and this is much better than the rest.

If you want to continue writing in this style, you might want to read Antonio Machado (If you haven’t already).

Enjoy writing

Bina; I may have a crude yet simple explanation for your rendition - i.e. metaphorically the same reasons as to why a thirsty traveler sees a mirage (normally an oasis) in the desert.

Mahim

Dont you just love those readers who discover such meanings in your work that never ever occured in your wildest dreams.

Well, when the poet uses words like

bed
desire
mouths
soft
sheath
skin
satisfied
life force

it`s hard to NOT think about the undertones!!! Mosquitos are a clever metaphor. HOWEVER I do know that one can write something and think it only means one thing, only to have others decipher other meanings from it. That`s the fun of poetry - more complex than you`d think.

Don`t take it too far interpreting this writing. I believe the poem was inspired by a warm mucky night in Karachi maybe during load-shedding!!!

Godot`s interpretation was a revelation to me. It`s great to see that the poem stretches itself.

I didn`t realise that the sexual undertones were that strong for so many. Thanks Bina.

Mahim

``Perhaps blood is their desire``

- That about sums up the Indo-Pak relation, as evident by certain posts to Sameer`s article.

``as I lie half asleep, aware only by the approaching warning their wings make``

- I wonder if that`s how the innocent women, for no fault of their own, who get raped in ``wars`` feel.

``as another victorious warrior makes off, satisfied, full of my life force``

- Am I wrong for seeing in your poem what I saw?

Your poem has a lot deeper meaning to it than it appears.

why this hubbub about blood sucking?? shudnt it be the other way round :)

good effort

bugger off

Sounds like a sexual encounter to me!!

Yeah, tell me about it ...(buzzzzzz)

I fail to see this poem (Ouch) as anything other than what it is...(scratch, scratch)

Die machar, Die!!

Mosquitoes are Kamakazi warriors.

Wow Mahim you are really bored in Pakistan aren`t you buddy : )

Peace.

Those vicious ``Macchars`` of Pakistan are not
very easily defeated. The are a truly formidable force.

Ras