Just Another Stupid Love Story

..actually as much as i love it as a `mushy love story` and relate to it only to well as the Fozia in the story(my names Fawzia too) - one can also call it `Canada - where everyone`s landing up at in the end.` :)

Excellent!! You are a gifted writer.

Urstruly#

Very captivating.

Although, the thoughts and emotions are beyond my comprehension. (poor guy)

Just few things to notice.

In class fifth you are dissecting cockroack and in class 6 riding BMX (motor cycle or cycle).

Narration and style are very good.

urstruly,
next time instead of tryng to woo me/women over email why not just send me a picture of your wrist? i promise, lust does wonders with me. much more effective...(yes i know, you have no intention of wooing me, or being my friend, or giving me good advice..you just like to email me :))

im with J. two stories. both good. you kept your audience. and i did laugh. (im so hesitant to admit to that) but i liked it..it was simple and ..sweet. (i just said simple and sweet..my god such unconstructive comments).

rizvi.

Urstruly #

Just one more thing.

Ganja Hindu To Nahin Jo Baar Baar Ganja Keh Rahe Ho.:-)

Dear Urstruly,

Absaloutely Brilliant, and exceptionally entertaining !! Full marks on this one !The ride on the emotional roller coaster was very well portrayed.However I too, like many others have commented , think the story could be divided into two, beautiful ones.

However the first thing that came to my mind when you were marvelling on your carpal area , was the names of the carpal bones .When we were studying anatomy it was very difficult to remember the order in which they were placed , being such tiny bones , so some intelligent fellow came up with the following sentence ``SHE IS TOO PRETTY , TRY TO CATCH HER ``. For everyone`s benefit I will put down the names , and show how beautifully they are strung with the sentence .

[ From lateral to Medial ] i.e. if you face your palm , say your left palm, then starting from the thumb , across the wrist , .....

SHE = SCAPHOID BONE

LOOKS = LUNATE

TOO = TRIQUETRAL

PRETTY = PISIFORM

TRY= TRAPEZIUM

TO = TRAPEZOID

CATCH = CAPITATE

HER = HAMATE .

Now this did bring me to a thought! regarding the connection between your erotic wrist and the pretty girl you were trying to catch !!

Cheers :)

p.s. my boys are past the 5th grade now , and you have got me worried .... maybe I should take the P.T.A. meetings more seriously from now onwards , and if the French teacher says ``They are great, an absaloute joy in the class, love them , so funny ``!! should I read more into it than what the eye meets ?

Adaab

My first interaction at chowk. I belong to the urban middle class of Pakistan whose lingua franca is supposed to be Urdish.

Nice article by urstruly. I couldn’t understand one point though. The reader is led to believe at the beginning that the ‘charmed wrist” will be the central theme of the article but it dwindles into obscurity before making an abrupt return at the end. I’m sure I lost track somewhere!!!!!!!

Otherwise, great reading for it brought back those memories ever so vividly.

SM

Urstruly:

`Elemental`, my dear.I am not surprised. I knew you would do this, could do this. Lots more to say, but…

[ “Sometimes it is better not to put your feelings in words because if you do, your words become a mission statement. These words then confine you and they become your liability. Liability is a dungeon where your conscience whips you like a slave driver and compels you to stand by your words. My ‘freedom’ was also short lived.”]

and…

[“But deep down in my heart I knew that I had lost him forever. I wanted him to say something back to me; say something bad about my mother but that son of a b.i.t.c.h never did. He just walked away as if I didn’t exist or my existence meant nothing to him. God! No one had ever denied me like that in my life before. It hurt.”]

God, how do you know? Why do you know? Only because “of greater threshold for the tolerance of pain”?

Will you understand if I share with you something I had written?

A NEW DAWN

Even when I cut my wrists

They said there was no blood --

That is where

They would feel my pulse.

So was I dead

Before I died?

Or did I live

Without any life?

What courses through my veins then?

Let down by something I thought I owned,

I felt ashamed.

I have stopped asking questions.

For the answers don’t tell me who I am.

I shall cut my wrists anyway

And wait for another day

When love will come

In the shape of a sharp enough blade.

urstruly,

must congratulate you on an evocative and thoroughly enjoyable story. not only do you tell a story really well but you are remarkably accurate in capturing the inner states and feelings of a young boy.

sar mein sauda bhee nahin, dil mein tamanna bhee nahin,

laikin iss tark-e-muhabbat ka bharosa bhee nahin,

muddatein hueen kai teri yaad bhee aayee na hamein,

aur tumhein bhool gaye hon aisa bhee nahin

incidentally, i am at a loss to understand why so many ladies present found this to be a ``sweet`` piece. o heartless sex!

CAESAREAN CHILD

I almost hate this story. Like an unfaithful sweetheart it has caused nothing but pain to me. I have been writing this story since November even before I wrote Pinky, and the Day When God Died. I was almost done in January. The original version was 12 pages long and I was scared to death to send such a long story to Chowk where people don’t go over more than four pages. I sat on it for over a month; discussed it with a friend and decided to take my chances. There is a first for everything. Ironically, or should I say, due to a Divine Comedy, I lost this file to the ``I love you`` virus. Everything was wiped out with no back up and no hard copy. I decided to re-write it but couldn’t bring that passion in it that I had the first time. There are two lose ends in this version-the wrists part as some of you have pointed out , and in case you haven’t noticed that there is no interaction between the characters of Fozia and Miss Rabia. Do you think I could have missed that intentionally? Those were the four pages that I couldn’t write again because of my impatience. So here it is a caesarean child who is pre-mature, wrinkled, and ugly who no one likes but his mother. I could have re-written those four pages but it was like asking a mother with labor pains on her delivery bed to just hold it for another day. I couldn’t.

All of you, my friends, have been very kind to me to like this anyway. I am deeply indebted to you, but trust me it was not worth your praise. I will definitely write individual replies to all of you by today, as per tradition. Right now I am fighting a soar throat infection and trying hard to keep my drooping eyes open, which are under the spell of cough syrup.

``Miss Rabia got married during the summer brake of that year.``

I think you meant a break! what were you really thinking about?

When, I was guessing about the second half of the story, I was thinking about Sami`s reaction at seeing the couple, and their`s at seeing him. But, yes, some more on the interaction between Fozia and Rabia would`ve been very interesting too.

And good luck, with the sore throught.. I am going through the same thing and can totally sympathize with you.

Sadaf

Aikrind# 1

Thanks for generous comments. I hope # 29 will answer some of your questions. All the credit for this sloppiness goes to my lethargy and frustration. I will work hard next time.

Sarwari # 2

Awww for you comments and thanks for your time barri syasatdaan sahiba :)

Lyahus Riman # 3

Thanks bud. BTW I don’t hear voices in my head anymore. See I was young and stupid and in love. (I am cured without any therapy or am I? :)

Asim Hayat # 4

I appreciate you taking the time to read it. I am glad that it entertained you. One smile a day per face is my mantra.

Hobbyty # 5

I would like to thank you, specially, for your time when you posted info on Syssiphus on the other board. It was very informative. My Greek Mythology is getting rustier everyday. I also like your style of writing and find your posts very informative and logical. I am glad that you are at Chowk . I also hope to have a meaningful conversation with you; last time I was too busy in my cyber-jihad with kuffar and munafiqeen :)

Studebaker # 6

I like Toronto and surrounding areas very much. Housing is great and even better than anywhere in US. The best part is the downtown where you can roam on streets late at night without fear of getting your throat slashed by some mugger for a quarter. Montreal is little bit more Europeon. Meet me in Toronto on the next Eid. I will be the guy with the wrists that every girl you will see will be focusing on :)

Eklavya & Ratiocinator # 7 & 8, Hana #11

Thanks guys for stopping by. I appreciate your comments. Ratiocinator: All of my teachers would either use Channel or Charlie or Nina Ricci in those days. It is said that the memory of smell is the strongest. Do u agree?

FZK or Fawzia # 9

I liked your second post better. Sighs without a disclaimer and a fine print are usually misleading :)

Temporal # 10

Aakhir aap nay dushmanoN waalaa salook kar he dia na. I am not that immature and “ugly” as you think I am. I would really appreciate if you could critically and technically appraise this piece. It will help me write better next time. You have no idea how much I appreciate your analyses. So plz find sometime or I am gonna throw tantrums like…..

On another note: I agree with one part of what you wrote i.e. they are sent as tests from gods and yes to test our believes (in ourselves), I disagree with the second part that they are sent as a punishment. I also believe that if you love them tender you pass all the tests with flying colors.

``yes, some more on the interaction between Fozia and Rabia would`ve been very interesting too.

And good luck, with the sore throught.. I am going through the same thing and can totally sympathize with you.``

What, you too had a crush on your female teacher and your best girlfriiend...lol :)

Apologies. Could not help it. Spring is here, and it joviality in the air.

Asim

An absolutely riveting tale, written with an economy of words that adds to the pleasure of reading it... thank u, urstruly...:)

Adila # 13

I believe in “If you will build they will come”, sometimes it does happen if your belief is strong enough.

Luv
U
(the capital U)

Sorry temporal couldn’t help it.

Jawahra # 14

I reaaaally appreciate your comments. I am always looking forward to critical appraisal. You’ve been more than modest in your comments. Next time plz slay me. I hope # 29 will answer some of your observations-but my sloppiness stays.

Khattar # 15

Khattar Sahib keep your eyes on the road while changing channels on your radio. I will really appreciate if you keep Kamaandaar Musharaf out of this. :) Baandar kia jaanay adrak ka sawad. BTW you’re not the baandar…..

Dost_Mittar # 16

Pehlwan Ji! Oh pehli sat si. Hoon tay ainiaN koo sataaN ais dil tay lag gayaN nay keh dil machar daani wangooN mori mori ho gaya eh!

Reh gayee dooji gaal tay tohaanoN pata eh bachoongriaN no dasna painda eh keh aithay waddaa ustaad kaon eh.

Sadaf # 17 and 30

Saved you some Kleenex eh! Thanks for liking the story. This story was also inspired by “some” actual events. For now I leave you with your guessing game. I might disclose some info later. Bad habits don’t die easy-so what do you think must have happened at the door? 

Solitude # 12

Try to be on the side of truth-i.e. being truthful to yourself first. You will find me among your ranks. But if you choose the other side then we wont let you have what you want? Never under-estimate the people you don’t know.