Of Men and Cars

Interesting hypothesis …… Given my drab taste in cars – I should expect my better half to be a sultry six foot cover girl – but Alas… ( and fortunately for me) my ineptness at handling Life in the fast lane ( both behind the wheel and otherwise) – perhaps it is just the right mix….
Coversely Speaking my better half has a strong preferences for all the finer things life including automobiles…..- which I assume has more to do with competing with the Jones….( but given your theory - it perhaps explains her preferences in men J))))


Come to think of it I do have a thing for a XJ6 or a nice Aston Martin– ….. Well it will have to wait until my damn CISCO stock shows any upward momentum!!!!!

lol..thoroughly enjoyed the article and the posts!

although i believe shak80 got a bit carried away as i am sure the author doesn`t seriously believe in all that she has written:)

and yes aNny i would love to ride your foxy, provided you bring it to lahore:)

regards.

Anne,

please excuse me for going off topic on your board. My previous post on ``Women ``, was quite touching when i read it , and wanted to share it with all of you !

Thank You,

sa :)

Happy Mothers Day !

I want all the ladies to read this, it will really boost your ego, because it is so true.It is a bit long but try to read it fully !

How God made Women

By the time the Lord made mothers ,he was into his Sixth day of working overtime.An Angel appeared and said, ``Why are you spending so much time on this one``?

And the Lord answered and said, ``Have you seen the spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and left overs ,have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stnds up,have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands``.

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one ``Six pairs of hands !No Way ! said the Angel.

The Lord replied ``Oh it not the hands that are the problem.It`s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have !``

``And that`s just on the standard model?``the Angel asked.The Lord nodded in agreement.Yes, one pair of eyes to see through the closed doors as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows.Another pair at the back of her head to see what she really needs to know even though no one thinks she can.And the third pair are here in the front of her head.They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word ``.

The Angel tried to stop the Lord.``This is too much work for one day.Wait until tomorrow to finish ``.

But I can`t the Lord protested ,``I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower ``.

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman ``But you have made her so soft Lord ``.

``She is soft ``, Lord agreed ``but i have also made her tough .You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.``

``Will she be able to think ?`` asked the Angel .

The Lord replied ,``Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate ``.

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman`s cheek.

``Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model.I told you , you were trying to put too much into this one ``.

``That`s not a leak.``The Lord objected .``That`s a tear!``

``What`s the tear for``? the Angel asked.

The Lord said that is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her dissapointment, her loneliness, her grief , and her pride.``

The Angel was impressed ``You are a Genius ,Lord.You thought of everything ,for WOMEN are truly amazing.Women have strengths that amaze men.They carry children, they carry hardships , they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.They sing when they want to cry.They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.They fight for what they believe in .They stand up for injustice.They dont take ``no`` for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.They go without new shoes so that their children can have them.They go to a doctor with a frightened friend.They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel, and cheer when their friends get awards .They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.Their heart breaks when their friend dies.They have sorrow at the loss of a family member , yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes.They`ll drive, walk, fly, run or e-m you to show how much they care about you .The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!Women do more than just give birth.They bring hope and joy.

They give compassion and ideals.They give moral support to their family and friends.Woman have a lot to say and a lot to give !

[To be passed on to the women friends to remind them how amazing they are ....]

Yet another thing a woman needs to compare herself with just to feel reassured about herself... insecurities can lead to interesting analogies

tahmed321 #30, ``And the first and last time I will

say that ultimate word is now - Lamborghini. Said it, done that. And nothing happened. Not even a flicker of excitement around the old midsection.``

damn!

How could you not feel anything for that Italiam beauty? You can`t be human. I saw my first Lambourghini in Cannes and I was awestruck. Couldn`t stop staring. One doesn`t get to see them in NY, just the same old Porsche Carreras or BMW roadsters driving wildly to Midtown.

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Aaaaah! Cars . . . well . . . fact remains that in the Bombay of the `70s a worn out old 2-door Standard Herald aka Triumph Spitfire was more than enough to keep one going into gigolo mode . . . as of now I have bought a `69 Merc 200 for 13000/- rupees (300 dollars) . . . just about wheezes along has leather seats huge aircon stereo by Telefunken AND other stuff . . . am busy cutting it up and making drawing room furniture out of it . . . bar out of the bonnet, centre table from the engine upwards, working windscren wipers as wall hanging etcetc . . .

Strange thing is: 25 years ago my then girlfriend would have donned overalls and done some gas cutting with me.

25 years on, my now wife is about to leave home on a long vacation and her attitude towards cars leaves me depressed.

Aaaaaaah!! Cars.

Oh well.

Maybe snazzier keyboards are the latest make-out symbols now? I got a flexible waterproof one lately . . .

Farzana # 29

``Lei aie phir yahan pey , kismat humain kahan sey ..`` see how nice it is to talk to you , how could i ever say any nasty things to you , esp.`` hormonal differences `` ? no, no, not meant for you , infact not meant for anyone in particular. Its just a good book , and i suggested it for those who have not read it .I think it should safely be included as a text book in psychology and related subjects .

Regarding ``Would love to psychoanalyse that -turqoise blue ...hmmm public forum mein bata dein ``

``Qasid key atae atae khat aik aur likh rakhoan, mein janta hoon woh kiya lekhian gey jawab mein`` :)

``Tell me , is this Victoria of yours close to seattle ``?

Yes it sure is ! one can take a ferry from downtown victoria to downtown seattle , it is called the ``Clipper ``. runs daily and i think the journey is apr. 1 1/2 hrs. long .

``Last year i took a ferry to San Juan Islands ``

Wah ! did you do whale watching there ? it is pretty spectacular to go in those zodiac boats [ inflatable rubber boats ] and get to watch sea lions, and killer whales from close quarters .I would recommend everyone who comes to victoria to take that trip !!

``I met a lady who was waiting to take the boat to Victoria, which she insisted was a wonderful place , with wonderful people .Now do you imagine it could be the same one :)

For sure a big Yes !! The people here are just fabulous ,and so the reputation of the town holds its glory !!

Scout # 28

Thanks.Life is very precious in any form ....

Tahmed #

``What`s wrong with me doc ``!!

I think you have a clean bill of health , at least from me :)



Could not agree more with you , regarding all cars seem the same ! my kids and husband just choose the car,[ they know my 2 requirements and i am happy to receive the car keys ``ghar bethae bethae ``, after a small test drive .In any case Victoria being such a small place and ``drivers are always needed ``, they do the added courtesy of bringing the car to your house to test drive, so i am spared of the misery of going to those ``car show rooms `` with those horrible streamers and over enthusiastic sales people .

They all do the same thing ,the cars i mean ... so why the fuss .... :)

Take care folks ,

sa :)

Incidentally, ignore the ! in ``s!ucks`` in my previous post. The Chowkidar, aka the Mosque Man (the latter is my humble contribution to the Islamization of Church Lady), at Chowk kept rejecting my entire post when I used the word without the !. So I added the !, thereby permitting the offensive word to slip by unnoticed (kind of like a lecherous female sneaking by the Chowkidar in a veil).

I must say that whoever programmed Mosque Man has a one-track mind: Mosque Man sees a railway engine huffing and puffing and pistons moving, and he thinks it is something bad, very bad. He sees a glorious fountain, and his mind goes somewhere else...

I admit it. I am a man, and feel nothing about cars. No testosterone surge when I see a cute car. The words BMW mean nothing. Jaguar? Why do they all seem to have balding accountants sitting inside them? And the first and last time I will say that ultimate word is now - Lamborghini. Said it, done that. And nothing happened. Not even a flicker of excitement around the old midsection.

To me a car is a piece of metal that gets me from here to there (when I would rather he here than there anyway). It is a thing that gets me a ticket it I do 55 on a 35 mph zone (not to mention a scold from my 13 year old). I admit I do perform a road test once in a while on the highway to if the speedometer needle still moves, but feel no thrill.

Any fancies I may have had for the convertible (complete with freely flowing-hair wild spirit on the passenger seat) were put to rest when I realized what it was really like when I saw this guy in a convertible with the license plates reading ``Rain S!ucks``.

I always wear seat belts, even in Pakistan! I have forgotten the number of funny looks I get when my friends and family in Pakistan see me put on my seat belt - like ``is this man a coward? is he planning an accident? something fishy going on.``.

To me a car is fine as long as I dont have to notice it is there, dont have to take it to the garage where they are bound to find out that the brakes are almost gone. I put up with the ``gas refill`` ritual, but just barely.

What is wrong with me, doctor?

Re Farzana Versey #29

whenever you get over the crazy/lazy mood. Give us Observation. No political responsiblity, blinkers are part of any observation, so we`ll take them too.

By the the way, what is a ``chanakya``?

Anne (#20):

Hey, Shak called you a pervert; I did not, so don’t “ditto” us:) Besides, I did not say I disliked the essay, just had a few quibbles and thought it would be dishonest not to share them! I enjoy poking fun and kidding around too, but, since you have got into Urdu mode with veterans, let me say ke yeh jo feminism ka bojh humne apne kaandhe par utha liya hai, woh to aisa sitam hai jo banaye na bane aur bujhaye na bane……(I can hear the screech of “filmi dialogue bund kar” from miles away).

Besides, I asked for anecdotes…perhaps just darned curious, that’s all. Of course, I don’t have to repeat that I have a dirty mind, do I?

hobbyty (#22):

[“Ms. Versey:

Chowk is becoming too cute, but there is room for that too. I hope you will send us a report on the elections in India and while I realize you don`t do requests, a article about social lives of Muslims in Mumbai or any other Indian city would be facinating.”]

Do I do requests? That is cute. Depends on whether you want reggae, the blues or folk. Or do you prefer cover versions? Ah, now why is it that when FV decides to do a cute number she is reminded of her political responsibilities? And who will really be interested in the assembly elections in India? As for social lives of Muslims, I am being badgered about it for quite a while. Funny, when I write from the Muslim perspective, it is called a ghetto mentality and when I don’t, they say I wear blinkers.

All this is driving Ms. Daisy crazy or perhaps she is just lazy. (The driving reference is to justify such digressionary chatter on this board!)

Shirin (#23):

[“Btw, some people are failing to understand the hormonal differences between man and woman.I strongly suggest to read `` Men are from Mars , Women are from Venus ``!! “]

Aha, kya aapka ishaara hamari taraf to nahin tha?? Hormonal differences? There are emotional, intellectual, mental, physical differences as well, and I wonder if men are indeed from Mars, what are they doing here? (Women ARE Venus, so the flip argument will not hold.)

About your point regarding emphasis on colour, I would love to psychoanalyse that – turquoise blue…hmmm….public forum mein bata de?? Tell me, is this Victoria of yours close to Seattle? Late last year I took a ferry to San Juan islands and met a lady who was waiting to take the boat to Victoria, which she insisted was a wonderful place with wonderful people. Now, do you imagine it could be the same one :)

The next point about sensitivity was rather touching. I had a horrible experience once late evening in a small lane when an old couple were walking ahead and I had to swerve; naturally being me, I overdid it, and hit the wall on the opposite side. The strange thing is that the couple were not even aware of what had happened, and I was sick all over the place. A group of sturdy men whose building wall I damaged of course came to rescue me. THIS squirrel was saved!

Got your note on the other board; my Chowk Chanakya thinks posting the email address, given what he calls my “other profile”, which means the nasty one, could be a problem. Would love to keep in touch, though. Should we wait till my reputation has improved a bit? Or should we wait for it to get worse? Or….

Love,

Farzana

Shirin Ahmed #23, ``Have any of you felt the sensitivity , while sitting in full luxury

behind the steering wheel, and suddenly having to brake....to save a squirrel who was deciding whether to cross the road... or to go back the path, and for that split second paused in mid road ? The heart skips a beat just thinkng about the possibilities ! So I choose not to drive a car which does not have the anti lock brakes !!``

You seem like a very sweet person for thinking in this vein, and I mean that sincerely. May God bless this world with more cautious drivers such as yourself who think of animals as well as human beings.

Unfortunately I killed a beautiful ferret once, while driving an ABS car. It froze in the middle of the street at night, staring at the car with wide eyes. I couldn`t sleep that night.

Wonder how people have the heart to kill people.

I`m thinking about turning vegetarian.

Cute! Nicely written and fun.

Re Siraj 24

I do not live in Rural Sind and don`t know any Hindus and must leave your request at that.