Of Men and Cars

Anne:

…first an overdue welcome back…kahaaN theeN?…yahaaN tou qeh’t thaa…khair….

…while a car can be a potent symbol…of wealth (RR?)…status (Mercedes/BMWs?)…testosterone (Ferrari?)...unharnessed freedom and energy (SUVs?)…it can be more…to some…four wheels powered by the mass produced contraptions that can take one in ‘relative’ comfort from point A to B…

one cruelty for another?…(you said something cruel about a wife past her prime:)…)…in context….for some…(hah…look at the carefully worded parameter!…but....but I didn’t MEAN that yaar, really…)…..yeah, as I was saying…cars have acquired greater permanence than fine specimens of the other gender…in simpler english?…the disposabilty factor is higher for the finer gender…and the reverse….the attachment factor is higher for the transporter!

…like you asked…will not include your spouse in the type-casting…if you spare mine…if and when I ever pen that article on women…protracted negotiations are going on between our lawyers for the correct wordings for my observations…guess what…I am dropping a slight hint?…it may never be written…jaan kis ko azeez nahiN hoti hay?

lve

t

so that`s why they call that black leather thing men put on the front of a sports car a nose bra....it`s about female symbolism....

deep.

I`m saving up to buy a rickshaw. What does that make me?

Your theories are interesting. Here is another theory on men and cars that I recall.

A couple of years ago Joanne Jacobs wrote in San Jose Mercury News that men considered cars as extension of their penises! Hence, she deduced, the smaller a man`s penis, the larger the car he is likely to drive. She wondered why white males prefer to drive Suburbans and Expeditions!!

Absolutely enjoyed this writing.
The OLD CHOWK is coming back!

Ras

(err.. in between cars. Driving an old Mazda MPV)

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Great article! You have men pegged to a ``t``. When is your article on ``female persona extensions`` due out?

Keep up the excellent work.

I`m blackmailing, cajoling, pinning, begging, absolutely dieing for a green foxy with pink and white daisyz painted on it for my 20th birthday...what does that make me? :0)

Nice article. If I recall correctly the novel `Wheels`(by Alex Haley I think) has one of his characters utter something like ``The only reason a man buys a particular car is that he thinks it would help him in getting laid``. Truer words have never been spoken.

later

-sac

Great Article Anne. My obsession is a Yellow Saab Convertible.

The license plate would be ``MEM SAAB`` as it would be a gift for my wife (I would naturally not buy such an expensive gift for myself, but I may drive it from time to time).

Hilarious! I am however a rare version of the female species that loves cars.

Yes I have been known to get glassy eyed upon reading the technical specs of a car... Definatly understand the inherent superiority of a car with the right handling, power and 0-60 values.

What`s the point? One may ask. After all we all just need wheels to get from point A to B.

Yes that is true, and wearing a zirconium should be the same as a diamond because they both dazzle right?

Fozia

You are a pervert, thats for sure.

I am a male, 20 years of age, and I love cars and aircrafts and bikes and machines. But not because i fantasize them for any missing women in my life. I love these machines for the thrill and excitement that they hold of their own.

And you`ll probably never understand the man/car relationship just the way i simply cant make sense out of women going nuts and crazy over clothes.

And you refer to many other things as feminine, like your country, nature etc. Is that fantasizing for the missing female touch in one`s life as well?

Men and women have differnt chemistry, just the way they have different phyisic(al appearance). Normally, boys go for cars and girls go for dolls... thats a universally accepted truth... although with exceptions but the natural trend is obvious... dont know why you cant see that.

Men love challenges, they love to put their physical strenghts and endurance in tests and trials. This nourishes their ego and self confidence. Thats why you see more men in the extreme activities, like mountaineering. Although, women are also appearing with an increasing rate in such arenas, but most of them, i believe, are more due to prove their equality to men rather than due to their own passion-drive.

As for me, as a boy or man, women i cant live without ... I watch them, praise them, love them, AND respect them.

BUT, automobiles are my passion.

Have a good day.

Amusing read... reminded me of my best friend in school,who`s interesting comment on cars i would like to share:`Driving a car is like making love to a woman...`His more explicit description i cant exactly post, but all i can say is that he got a whack on his head and had to do my calculus assighments for a whole week:)

And since there`s an online survey taking place regarding the four wheelers that chowk readers drive...i drive a blue daewoo (or as my mum would correct me..`i fly a blue daewoo` !!)

-Hana

RE: Author

Hey, I haven`t seen a whole lot of Saabs or Jeeps, but what I do see is the mass marriage tendency in desiz to AQUIRE, OWN, AND ENJOY WITH ALL ITS RIGHTS AND GAS MILEAGE OF A FREAK`N CAMARY.

You go to a desi function or a social and all you see is this CAMARY car dealership in the parking lot. What I want to know is why are desiz so much OBSESSED with TA-YO-TA KAY-ME-REE...???

cheers

Huh? “I’ve come up with a theory. It’s a deep, psychological thing.” Is this deep psychological theory anything new? A whole goddamn study was conducted way back in the 50s and people have been going at this female symbolism, with the advertisers at the helm, since monkeys discovered nuts, and men discovered them too. About upward mobility, seduction, fears…it is all there. About hidden persuaders.

What I am amused about is that worldy-wise chowkwallas are getting into top gear as though they have not heard about all this before. I wish the writer had made it more anecdotal; I am also sorry to say that going by the interacts, this article will only further solidify a stereotype. Look at how these guys are between cars, getting laid and being cute husbands. For he who is saving up to buy a rickshaw, I can only say that it makes you a potential rickshawalla, who will be paid for driving both men and women round the bend. And yes, you will suffer from the anguish of having one wheel less, or one more leg, depending on how you look at life :)

As for me, I think a car is a man: Whenever I try to start it, it jerks; it has an indicator to tell you how much it runs and how fast, but not how well; it swerves when I try to steer it in a certain direction; and I end up banging it when and where I don’t want to. And, of course, HE always splutters to a sudden halt. Want more? Naaahhhh, you like your comfort zone of soft leather seats and slinky dinkies.

PS: I forgot to tell you that in India where I live we still have to change gears with our hands.

So…one for the road…

Farzana

Re: Ali1

``Hence, she deduced, the smaller a man`s penis, the larger the car he is likely to drive. She wondered why white males prefer to drive Suburbans and Expeditions!!``

And why you drive a stretch limousine.

Tell me bout it man...my bf is raving about his beat-up mustang 24/7 though i have to admit tht its annoyingly cute....

p.s. nothing beats an LS 400...now that car is DA BOMB!!!! (I shud really stop watching `Top Gear` and concentrate on my exam =p)

Interesting and funny article.

Cars - perfectly sensible choice to aid the males (ok females too) in sexual selection. Bright plumage and all might be fine for other species but strutting around in mithai-pink-polka-dots might not work quite as well for ours.

aicha

Hi, all. First of all, thanks for the compliments, and I’m glad most of you enjoyed the essay. I can’t resist responding to those of you who didn’t, though.

Shak80: lighten up, guy; I’m not trying to make any profound (or original) social statements here. Just kidding around, poking fun…

Farzana Versey: ditto. Your comments about your car were really funny, especially the verb choice “jerks.” Hmmmm….

And while I’m at it, a word to our dear veteran Temporal:

“kahaaN theeN?…”

yeheen thhay, khamosh tamashaee bunnay baithay rahay kuchh arsa… thanks!

--AS

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Re Farzana Versey #15

Ms. Versey:

Chowk is becoming too cute, but there is room for that too. I hope you will send us a report on the elections in India and while I realize you don`t do requests, a article about social lives of Muslims in Mumbai or any other Indian city would be facinating.

This is refreshingly a different read here at chowk.Thanks to Anne for providing it !

I would like to make two points regarding cars and me .

1. I give more emphasis to colour than on the model to an extent, esp. after I saw a turquoise blue Beemer driving around victoria !I see it everyday now , really feel like closing my eyes since the owner comes to pick up the kids at the same time from school as i do.velly velly painful !My black golf , though still a baby in front of it somehow holds more grace !!

2.Have any of you felt the sensitivity , while sitting in full luxury behind the steering wheel, and suddenly having to brake....to save a squirrel who was deciding whether to cross the road... or to go back the path, and for that split second paused in mid road ? The heart skips a beat just thinkng about the possibilities ! So I choose not to drive a car which does not have the anti lock brakes !!

Funny how everyone`s priorities are so different .I guess that is the reason why this world is so interesting and not just a big sea of monotony !!

Btw , some people are failing to understand the hormonal differences between man and woman.I strongly suggest to read `` Men are from Mars , Women are from Venus ``!!

sa :)

hobbytv #22:

Do you do requests? An article about the social lives of Hindus in Pakistan, especially rural Sindh would be extrememly fascinating. Maybe you could write it for us?

Anne:

May I use this board?...thanks...for those visiting the GTA this weekend....

____________________________________________

DRISTI: Festival of South Asian Documentary Films

May 12th & 13th, 2001. Toronto

Innis College Theatre, 2 Sussex Avenue
(St George Subway - Sussex and St George across from Robarts Library) University of Toronto

www.dristi.org

The Canada-South Asia Collective (CSAC) a collective of volunteers from South Asia and Canada, is proud to be initiating DRISTI - the 2nd Annual Festival of South Asian Documentary Films in Canada.

Presented by South Asia Left Democratic Alliance(SALDA) with financial support from South Asia Partnership - Canada, the second edition of DRISTI will build upon the success of last year`s festival. DRISTI attracted a wide cross-section of people, reaching out beyond South Asian communities to include those who wanted to learn more about this part of the world.

The Festival will present over 20 outstanding contemporary South Asian
documentary films which provide an in-depth treatment of pressing South
Asian subjects, including the threat of nuclear war, displacement of
indigenous peoples, history, activism, culture and lifestyle.

This year`s festival will show some documentaries never before screened in
Canada. Documentaries include The Bee, the Bear and the Kurubas - which
examines the fate of the Kuruba community displaced from their ancestral
homeland after the creation of a forest reserve; Kumar Talkies which explores the relationship between a small North Indian town and its only movie theater that is a depository of fantasies, myths and escape. Another film, entitled My
Migrant Soul is a poignant an moving testament that traces the tragic and
universal story of a Bangladeshi worker in Malaysia; A Season
Outside is an award winning film essay on conflict and non-violence.

A special tribute screening will commemorate the work of prominent Canadian
filmmaker James Beveridge (1917-1991) who had a long-standing connection
with India. Along with his wife Margaret he made several films about Indian
classical music. Jim Beveridge played a key role in setting up of the Films
Division in India. As the Chair of the Department of Film & Video at York
University, Jim was responsible for the creation of the Jamia Millia Mass
Communication Research Centre in New Delhi.

Made thirty years ago, The Musicians of North India films still hold their
own as educational, informative and entertaining works. The films focus on
four giants of Indian classical music - Bhimsen Joshi, Amjad Ali Khan, Pandit Jasraj and Vijay Raghav Rao.

DRISTI is Toronto`s only film festival that showcases South Asia`s vibrant
documentary scene and highlights the fact that socially conscious film is
playing an increasingly important role in the consciousness of people
thinking and talking about South Asia.

For more information on tickets and screening schedule please visit the
website: www.dristi.org

or contact:

Sanjay Talreja (416) 532 -3122

Ali Kazimi (416) 763-0246

Re Siraj 24

I do not live in Rural Sind and don`t know any Hindus and must leave your request at that.

Cute! Nicely written and fun.

Shirin Ahmed #23, ``Have any of you felt the sensitivity , while sitting in full luxury

behind the steering wheel, and suddenly having to brake....to save a squirrel who was deciding whether to cross the road... or to go back the path, and for that split second paused in mid road ? The heart skips a beat just thinkng about the possibilities ! So I choose not to drive a car which does not have the anti lock brakes !!``

You seem like a very sweet person for thinking in this vein, and I mean that sincerely. May God bless this world with more cautious drivers such as yourself who think of animals as well as human beings.

Unfortunately I killed a beautiful ferret once, while driving an ABS car. It froze in the middle of the street at night, staring at the car with wide eyes. I couldn`t sleep that night.

Wonder how people have the heart to kill people.

I`m thinking about turning vegetarian.

Anne (#20):

Hey, Shak called you a pervert; I did not, so don’t “ditto” us:) Besides, I did not say I disliked the essay, just had a few quibbles and thought it would be dishonest not to share them! I enjoy poking fun and kidding around too, but, since you have got into Urdu mode with veterans, let me say ke yeh jo feminism ka bojh humne apne kaandhe par utha liya hai, woh to aisa sitam hai jo banaye na bane aur bujhaye na bane……(I can hear the screech of “filmi dialogue bund kar” from miles away).

Besides, I asked for anecdotes…perhaps just darned curious, that’s all. Of course, I don’t have to repeat that I have a dirty mind, do I?

hobbyty (#22):

[“Ms. Versey:

Chowk is becoming too cute, but there is room for that too. I hope you will send us a report on the elections in India and while I realize you don`t do requests, a article about social lives of Muslims in Mumbai or any other Indian city would be facinating.”]

Do I do requests? That is cute. Depends on whether you want reggae, the blues or folk. Or do you prefer cover versions? Ah, now why is it that when FV decides to do a cute number she is reminded of her political responsibilities? And who will really be interested in the assembly elections in India? As for social lives of Muslims, I am being badgered about it for quite a while. Funny, when I write from the Muslim perspective, it is called a ghetto mentality and when I don’t, they say I wear blinkers.

All this is driving Ms. Daisy crazy or perhaps she is just lazy. (The driving reference is to justify such digressionary chatter on this board!)

Shirin (#23):

[“Btw, some people are failing to understand the hormonal differences between man and woman.I strongly suggest to read `` Men are from Mars , Women are from Venus ``!! “]

Aha, kya aapka ishaara hamari taraf to nahin tha?? Hormonal differences? There are emotional, intellectual, mental, physical differences as well, and I wonder if men are indeed from Mars, what are they doing here? (Women ARE Venus, so the flip argument will not hold.)

About your point regarding emphasis on colour, I would love to psychoanalyse that – turquoise blue…hmmm….public forum mein bata de?? Tell me, is this Victoria of yours close to Seattle? Late last year I took a ferry to San Juan islands and met a lady who was waiting to take the boat to Victoria, which she insisted was a wonderful place with wonderful people. Now, do you imagine it could be the same one :)

The next point about sensitivity was rather touching. I had a horrible experience once late evening in a small lane when an old couple were walking ahead and I had to swerve; naturally being me, I overdid it, and hit the wall on the opposite side. The strange thing is that the couple were not even aware of what had happened, and I was sick all over the place. A group of sturdy men whose building wall I damaged of course came to rescue me. THIS squirrel was saved!

Got your note on the other board; my Chowk Chanakya thinks posting the email address, given what he calls my “other profile”, which means the nasty one, could be a problem. Would love to keep in touch, though. Should we wait till my reputation has improved a bit? Or should we wait for it to get worse? Or….

Love,

Farzana

Re Farzana Versey #29

whenever you get over the crazy/lazy mood. Give us Observation. No political responsiblity, blinkers are part of any observation, so we`ll take them too.

By the the way, what is a ``chanakya``?

I admit it. I am a man, and feel nothing about cars. No testosterone surge when I see a cute car. The words BMW mean nothing. Jaguar? Why do they all seem to have balding accountants sitting inside them? And the first and last time I will say that ultimate word is now - Lamborghini. Said it, done that. And nothing happened. Not even a flicker of excitement around the old midsection.

To me a car is a piece of metal that gets me from here to there (when I would rather he here than there anyway). It is a thing that gets me a ticket it I do 55 on a 35 mph zone (not to mention a scold from my 13 year old). I admit I do perform a road test once in a while on the highway to if the speedometer needle still moves, but feel no thrill.

Any fancies I may have had for the convertible (complete with freely flowing-hair wild spirit on the passenger seat) were put to rest when I realized what it was really like when I saw this guy in a convertible with the license plates reading ``Rain S!ucks``.

I always wear seat belts, even in Pakistan! I have forgotten the number of funny looks I get when my friends and family in Pakistan see me put on my seat belt - like ``is this man a coward? is he planning an accident? something fishy going on.``.

To me a car is fine as long as I dont have to notice it is there, dont have to take it to the garage where they are bound to find out that the brakes are almost gone. I put up with the ``gas refill`` ritual, but just barely.

What is wrong with me, doctor?

Incidentally, ignore the ! in ``s!ucks`` in my previous post. The Chowkidar, aka the Mosque Man (the latter is my humble contribution to the Islamization of Church Lady), at Chowk kept rejecting my entire post when I used the word without the !. So I added the !, thereby permitting the offensive word to slip by unnoticed (kind of like a lecherous female sneaking by the Chowkidar in a veil).

I must say that whoever programmed Mosque Man has a one-track mind: Mosque Man sees a railway engine huffing and puffing and pistons moving, and he thinks it is something bad, very bad. He sees a glorious fountain, and his mind goes somewhere else...

Farzana # 29

``Lei aie phir yahan pey , kismat humain kahan sey ..`` see how nice it is to talk to you , how could i ever say any nasty things to you , esp.`` hormonal differences `` ? no, no, not meant for you , infact not meant for anyone in particular. Its just a good book , and i suggested it for those who have not read it .I think it should safely be included as a text book in psychology and related subjects .

Regarding ``Would love to psychoanalyse that -turqoise blue ...hmmm public forum mein bata dein ``

``Qasid key atae atae khat aik aur likh rakhoan, mein janta hoon woh kiya lekhian gey jawab mein`` :)

``Tell me , is this Victoria of yours close to seattle ``?

Yes it sure is ! one can take a ferry from downtown victoria to downtown seattle , it is called the ``Clipper ``. runs daily and i think the journey is apr. 1 1/2 hrs. long .

``Last year i took a ferry to San Juan Islands ``

Wah ! did you do whale watching there ? it is pretty spectacular to go in those zodiac boats [ inflatable rubber boats ] and get to watch sea lions, and killer whales from close quarters .I would recommend everyone who comes to victoria to take that trip !!

``I met a lady who was waiting to take the boat to Victoria, which she insisted was a wonderful place , with wonderful people .Now do you imagine it could be the same one :)

For sure a big Yes !! The people here are just fabulous ,and so the reputation of the town holds its glory !!

Scout # 28

Thanks.Life is very precious in any form ....

Tahmed #

``What`s wrong with me doc ``!!

I think you have a clean bill of health , at least from me :)



Could not agree more with you , regarding all cars seem the same ! my kids and husband just choose the car,[ they know my 2 requirements and i am happy to receive the car keys ``ghar bethae bethae ``, after a small test drive .In any case Victoria being such a small place and ``drivers are always needed ``, they do the added courtesy of bringing the car to your house to test drive, so i am spared of the misery of going to those ``car show rooms `` with those horrible streamers and over enthusiastic sales people .

They all do the same thing ,the cars i mean ... so why the fuss .... :)

Take care folks ,

sa :)

Aaaaah! Cars . . . well . . . fact remains that in the Bombay of the `70s a worn out old 2-door Standard Herald aka Triumph Spitfire was more than enough to keep one going into gigolo mode . . . as of now I have bought a `69 Merc 200 for 13000/- rupees (300 dollars) . . . just about wheezes along has leather seats huge aircon stereo by Telefunken AND other stuff . . . am busy cutting it up and making drawing room furniture out of it . . . bar out of the bonnet, centre table from the engine upwards, working windscren wipers as wall hanging etcetc . . .

Strange thing is: 25 years ago my then girlfriend would have donned overalls and done some gas cutting with me.

25 years on, my now wife is about to leave home on a long vacation and her attitude towards cars leaves me depressed.

Aaaaaaah!! Cars.

Oh well.

Maybe snazzier keyboards are the latest make-out symbols now? I got a flexible waterproof one lately . . .

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tahmed321 #30, ``And the first and last time I will

say that ultimate word is now - Lamborghini. Said it, done that. And nothing happened. Not even a flicker of excitement around the old midsection.``

damn!

How could you not feel anything for that Italiam beauty? You can`t be human. I saw my first Lambourghini in Cannes and I was awestruck. Couldn`t stop staring. One doesn`t get to see them in NY, just the same old Porsche Carreras or BMW roadsters driving wildly to Midtown.

Yet another thing a woman needs to compare herself with just to feel reassured about herself... insecurities can lead to interesting analogies

Happy Mothers Day !

I want all the ladies to read this, it will really boost your ego, because it is so true.It is a bit long but try to read it fully !

How God made Women

By the time the Lord made mothers ,he was into his Sixth day of working overtime.An Angel appeared and said, ``Why are you spending so much time on this one``?

And the Lord answered and said, ``Have you seen the spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and left overs ,have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stnds up,have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands``.

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one ``Six pairs of hands !No Way ! said the Angel.

The Lord replied ``Oh it not the hands that are the problem.It`s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have !``

``And that`s just on the standard model?``the Angel asked.The Lord nodded in agreement.Yes, one pair of eyes to see through the closed doors as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows.Another pair at the back of her head to see what she really needs to know even though no one thinks she can.And the third pair are here in the front of her head.They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word ``.

The Angel tried to stop the Lord.``This is too much work for one day.Wait until tomorrow to finish ``.

But I can`t the Lord protested ,``I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower ``.

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman ``But you have made her so soft Lord ``.

``She is soft ``, Lord agreed ``but i have also made her tough .You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.``

``Will she be able to think ?`` asked the Angel .

The Lord replied ,``Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate ``.

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman`s cheek.

``Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model.I told you , you were trying to put too much into this one ``.

``That`s not a leak.``The Lord objected .``That`s a tear!``

``What`s the tear for``? the Angel asked.

The Lord said that is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her dissapointment, her loneliness, her grief , and her pride.``

The Angel was impressed ``You are a Genius ,Lord.You thought of everything ,for WOMEN are truly amazing.Women have strengths that amaze men.They carry children, they carry hardships , they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.They sing when they want to cry.They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.They fight for what they believe in .They stand up for injustice.They dont take ``no`` for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.They go without new shoes so that their children can have them.They go to a doctor with a frightened friend.They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel, and cheer when their friends get awards .They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.Their heart breaks when their friend dies.They have sorrow at the loss of a family member , yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes.They`ll drive, walk, fly, run or e-m you to show how much they care about you .The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!Women do more than just give birth.They bring hope and joy.

They give compassion and ideals.They give moral support to their family and friends.Woman have a lot to say and a lot to give !

[To be passed on to the women friends to remind them how amazing they are ....]

Anne,

please excuse me for going off topic on your board. My previous post on ``Women ``, was quite touching when i read it , and wanted to share it with all of you !

Thank You,

sa :)

lol..thoroughly enjoyed the article and the posts!

although i believe shak80 got a bit carried away as i am sure the author doesn`t seriously believe in all that she has written:)

and yes aNny i would love to ride your foxy, provided you bring it to lahore:)

regards.

Interesting hypothesis …… Given my drab taste in cars – I should expect my better half to be a sultry six foot cover girl – but Alas… ( and fortunately for me) my ineptness at handling Life in the fast lane ( both behind the wheel and otherwise) – perhaps it is just the right mix….
Coversely Speaking my better half has a strong preferences for all the finer things life including automobiles…..- which I assume has more to do with competing with the Jones….( but given your theory - it perhaps explains her preferences in men J))))


Come to think of it I do have a thing for a XJ6 or a nice Aston Martin– ….. Well it will have to wait until my damn CISCO stock shows any upward momentum!!!!!

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hobbyty (#32):

[“whenever you get over the crazy/lazy mood. Give us Observation. No political responsiblity, blinkers are part of any observation, so we`ll take them too.

By the the way, what is a ``chanakya``?”]

Not what is Chanakya, but who is Chanakya? He was the political guru of Chandragupta, the king of the famed Maurya dynasty in ancient India; considered the equivalent of Machiavelli, and he too wrote a learned treatise on governance. One of his famous exhortations was to the vaishs (business community) who he felt ought not to try and become kings when they could jolly well buy them! How apt his observation is even today.

Btw, the reference to my “Chowk Chanakya” was metaphorical and more to do with sagely advice than anything else :)

Your persistence regarding my observations on the social/political issues in India is touching. I think there are worthier people around. Besides, Chowk does have something of mine in the pipeline, and it is interesting simply because there is so little of me in it! However, I think the cute mode will continue for a while, so why don’t you just loosen your seat belt and enjoy the smooth ride?

Shirin (#33):

Of course, you wouldn’t be nasty, but hormonal references can hardly qualify as that :) We know there are differences. Like Conan O’Brien said, ``A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh.``



About that book, ‘Men are from Mars…”, there is another good one, ‘Only Love is Real’ by Dr. Brian Weiss; it is about soulmates being reunited across births. Ab yeh mat kehna ke hum mumbo-jumbo ki patree par aa gaye. Par agar kismet ki baat ho sakti hai, then I am sure the ‘past’ can be brought back to life. Or, at least a recognition of present unvoiced thoughts, as you quote, “``Qasid key atae atae khat aik aur likh rakhoan, mein janta hoon woh kiya lekhian gey jawab mein`` :)”…which means I must keep my mouth shut and not reveal your turquoise blue secrets! I am dying to know what you think I would have said…

And thanks for ‘How God made women’. Tough job, na?

Studebaker (#35):

[“Farzana# ? Na salam na kalam ? Allah yeh tumhe kya hogaya hai Agar hum se koi aleel hui ho to Gustakhe mauf ho .

Ajnabi ??”]

Tauba! Muafi kis baat ki? Salaam-kalaam ke liye socha nahin ke yeh jagah munasib hogi, magar ab lagta hai ke wohi hota hai jo manzoore khuda hota hai! (Anne, I am beyond even apologising for the digressions now!)

Of course, I could analyse your moniker, if you want:) But instead I shall tell you about the fond memories I have of Willy Loman and his Studebaker in that brilliant play, ‘Death of a Salesman’; it became such a potent symbol of his life, something he has to clutch on to to physically and emotionally survive. (You and Shirin have some discussion going about Sun signs? Libra? My guess is you are Scorpio or Taurus and Shirin is Virgo or Pisces.)

Aur jo kaarawaan ki baat chhedi hai…well I suppose I can do better then “Gaadi bula rahi hai, seeti bajaa rahi hai”! But cannot think of any moving wheel shairs…brake fail ho gaya hai :) Kisi shayar ne theek kaha hai… “Jo aur kuchch nahin to taaza dard hi mile…Main ek hi tarah ki zindagi se tang aa gaya.”

For those who care...

Since many of you are in women/mother mode, may I suggest that you take a look at temporal`s tribute to `desi mothers` called MAAn SAY at Speaker`s Corner or `The Sage` board, where I first caught it. There is scope for discussion on this one...Studebaker...kalaam mil gaya!

Shirin #33 They say if an extraterrestrial observed earth from space, it would report back to it`s leader that the dominant form of life on earth is made of metal and rolls on four wheels. Sometimes when it is scared it lets out a cloud of black gas.

Scout (I forget your #) So you were awestruck by the Lamborwhateverweenie. Aside from the price tag, I cant imagine anything about that care striking my awe. You go overspeed you get a ticket. You drive around, you need a gas refill. You drive around some more, you refill the maintenance shop`s pocket. You park it, and some idiot puts puts a dent and you refill the body shop`s pocket. How is it different from, say, a nice Toyota Corolla that graces the streets of every city in the world and hardly ever breaks down. I am telling you - expensive cars are for suckers. (PS Final word is an experiment to see if Chowkidar catches it - see my previous post if this is confusing).

tahmed321 #43, ``So you were awestruck by the Lamborwhateverweenie. Aside from the price tag, I cant imagine anything about that care striking my awe.``

Pardon me, what`s there NOT to salivate over in that car?

``You go overspeed you get a ticket. You drive around, you need a gas refill. You drive around some more, you refill the maintenance shop`s pocket. You park it, and some idiot puts puts a dent and you refill the body shop`s pocket.``

I see my car as a recluse, a resort on four wheels ;). It`s there when I need it. If I have a fight with someone, I can go sit in it and chill. If I feel restless, I can go for a drive to the beach or the local supermarket for some ice cream while simultaneously listening to Iqbal Bano or Bob Marley. That`s as good as life can get on a weekday.

``How is it different from, say, a nice Toyota Corolla that graces the streets of every city in the world and hardly ever breaks down.``

You got me there. I`m waiting for my Toyota to break down. I got excited when I saw the `check engine` light go on in my car. I made my appointment with the local service dealer, but the morning of the appt., the damn light went off, and the car was fine.

These things are `dheet.`

``I am telling you - expensive cars are for suckers.``

I wish to be one of them some day.

It`s just my own notion, pardon me if it makes waves ....

Giving too much importance to ``Branded Expensive Stuff ``, be it clothes, accessories , or even cars for that matter does reflect a certain degree of insecurity within that person.

With due respect to all who may think differently.

sa:)

Farzana # 44

Bilkul ghalat ! I am neither of the zodiac signs you guessed !! try again ....

RE: the turquoise blue ....

``Kaan rakhtae hain, yeh dar-o-deewar, Raaz ki sab baatein sun lein gaien ``....

not here :)hope you can survive till then ...or shall i ?

love,

sa :)

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Scout #46 ``Pardon me, what`s there NOT to salivate over in that car?`` (car being the Lamborweenie).

First: Does not satisfy any of man`s base instincts (hunger, thirst and some others).

Second: Does not satisfy any of man`s higher instincts (science, arts, literature).

Third: Ita speaka ina Italiano.

Fourth: Tha doora opena upa and giva knocka outa puncha ona chin. Why no opena likea normala automobila?

shirin ahmed #47, ``Giving too much importance to ``Branded Expensive Stuff ``, be it clothes, accessories , or even cars for that matter does reflect a certain degree of insecurity within that person.``

oh come on, i think you`re taking it all a bit too seriously, it`s just a matter of `shauq.`

we all have out little weaknesses.

Ms Shamim, if i may intrude for a sec...

To all Karachiwalay:

check out apnakarachi.com

scout # 51

yes i agree that it is a ``shouq `` thing also.

P.S. my shouq is dining out, and blowing it over vacations... somehow i do not give too much importance to things as such.

sa :)

Car trivia:

Inspector Morse drove a Red and Black classic Jaguar because he appreciated art.

Warren Buffet drives an old Buick because he values money.

Feff Bezos drives an Accord because of its price performance ratio.

Bill Gates drives a specially designed Porsche because he loves machines.

Hayat Mohamad Sherpao used to drive a classic Mustang 65 because to impress Benazir.

Ayub Khan got a Nazi style glass-top Mercedes custom made because he wanted to look powerful.

Baghwan Shri Rajneesh always rode a Rolls Royce because a god has to maintain his image.

Lieutenant Colombo drove a beat-up convertible because he wanted to project the impression of a bumbling slob.

It is hard to tell the size of their penis but one can judge the size of their brain.

ronin #54 ``the vietnamese got rice rockets``

?? What is a rice rocket? a Harley Davidson fueled by fermented rice perhaps? Or an extra-spicy bowl of rice that ``rockets`` a guy straight into the men`s room (or even to the women`s room in case the guy was too narrowly focussed on the immediate situation to read - as one man I know did, but that is another story)?

thanks, everyone, for your interesting and entertaining comments.

Palwashai: that was funny! pukhto pu-ay-gay?

--AS

It is hard to tell the size of their penis but one can judge the size of their brain.

Well there are some taht indicate the size of the brain and then those that indicate the size of the penis : )

But - Morse - too bad all things good have to come to an end.