Loves loved {some not so loved}

hi zehra
so...thts the way u write...i have been reading some of ur work and i am mesmerised......
its good,lovely,and moving...the article abt tht post 9/11...its out of this world....U can feel flattered if u want to....i am impressed
so...just one thing...this curiosity sucks at times....if u could just put up some info abt urself in ur profile,i wud really appreciate that....
waseem

IT WAS A VERY VERY TOUCHING AND VERY VERY BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN POEM.I LOVED IT!!!!!!!

Z Jr.:

you write: ``you start somoeone on their life and they are so happy to be talking and being listened to that they dont shut up. lookin for the middle ground here. buddha said that was the way to go.``

Good on you! Was wondering when this 180 was going to stop. :) And do you *really * need a Buddha to tell u the middle way is the one to follow?!

Z Sr.: Must one REVEAL all (and if so, at what rate?) in order to convince oneself that one is being totally honest? And how realistic an expectation is it for a man -- or woman -- to accept all `imperfections` exactly when *you * choose to bring them out in the open? Wouldn`t it be wise to open oneself up gradually, as the forces of attraction (TLC etc.) grow? Why shoot oneself (or the relationship) in the foot all in the name of an abstract and unrealistic `honesty`? Why hold ppl up to such high standards? Why not trust love and trust to play to their own beat? Why not take the step of being strong enough to give, in the faith that what one gives comes back three-fold?

(Disclaimer: no one is suggesting you make yourself a doormat or martyr)

The really honest thing would be to accept that we all come with our imperfections, but that a love nurtured with patience, respect and caring, will help us overcome those blemishes in ourselves and accept those in others.

rgds,

PM

fzk

``May u find someone who hugs u a lot instead, and now that uve learnt to appreciate it, may u enjoy it wholeheartedly.``

thankyou thankyou for your kind wishes and the same from my side. Done that and off to meet HIM fro a few glorious days. Anticipate a lot of the above ; ) It was real fun getting to know your dark side too and hope we get to do more.

aicha.

Aicha, :)

Me too, i hv similar regrets. :)

Hugs are never enuff :)

May u find someone who hugs u a lot instead,

and now that uve learnt to appreciate it, may u enjoy it wholeheartedly.

Me too.

Glad we get each other.

As for the whole world thing;

i guess ppl like that have the need to be `accepted` by everyone for whatever reasons.

Its like, take me for my past, and ull take

me for my future, for my past makes my present

and my present will make my future.

Yes one shd be careful. And i too am still

learning to be selective.

As for Zehra`s stories, heck, if someone will hold a peice of wirting, maybe fiction maybe fact,

agianst her, the person aint worth being friends with. If they have issues they shd learn to resolve it, and get over it. Not like they wont hav any skeletons? In fact shes making them easier to know her already! ;)Thye shd be grateful! :)

And there aint anyone out there who`s

writing like they really give a $hit abt what will be thot of laterrrr anyway, that predecided, thats why they do so, or they wdnt, right?

Unless theyre very stupid. Are you? Zehra niece?

Hmm?

NOONe IS PERFECT.

Wishing us all love sunshine pretty butteeflies, shady trees, cool breezes, rainbows, and peace...

Zehra Sr/..

ummm interesting!!

``Honesty has caused me some severe pain esp. when ppl i have revealed all to.... Leaves me with a clearer soul. Maybe they werent honest with me in the first place - who wants that?``

aaah - i see what you mean by clearing ones ....

but but let me see if i can be equally vague&crystal clear at the same time : ) - by all means be honest with ONLY the ones you love irresp of whether they love you back or not - but why play out your life history to the ones you dont care about/you dont know/mere accquaintances. conscience - still intact!

``Id rather by loved on being chosen for my entirety. It was their weakness not to be able to withstand my truth and maybe they were too weak to love anyway. What has to go will go, if its meant to, anyway.``

I agree. A relationship should be built on honesty - totally believe that. Cant worry about things backfiring - it is all or nothing - got to accept and ve accepted warts&all and all that stuff.

``while ppl fear shame to tell all, shdnt they feel more shame for hiding stuff, isnt honesty a truer valueable quality then hiding facts?``

I think that is a very natural thing to feel - how one overcomes it is what it is all about. On a rather personal note during what i refer to as the dark ages I prefered not to discuss my personal life with even my closest friends mainly because i felt i needed to come to grips with the changes in my lifestyle first before laying everything out in the open - that is the way i am. Didnt realise talking helps more tahn anything else in the world. Well have X`ed those bridges now - and my main regret is the times i didnt let him put his arm around me/didnt hold hands/hug/giggle about it with girlfriends&other xrated stuff - god what was i thinking!! oh well trying to make up for lost time now : )

Have fun out there but i still say be smart about what you say to whom - aaage tumhari marzi : ) i hope you nto only get the cake but get to eat it too any way you see fit.

aicha

Dear Zehra and Zehra Sr.

You two are class acts. I hope you get all that you seek in life.

EK

fzk khala,
that was so sincere and heartfelt...and right on the money.

one day i wont fear being judged.

thanks :)

zehra jr.

Aicha#74

Then my sentence shdve been, a clear conscience

and guts.. :)

i can relate to what u say and somehow im one of those who babble out stuff too, everything, i know i will be judged and have my fears, but what i truly wd like and i think so wd Zehra Jr, and those like her, is to be accepted & loved in my entirety, evenutally then my fears will end FOREVER (of being judged etc), and i will be who I am, what I am, with who i want to be with- in ultimate intimacy, good and bad - With more wholesomeness in my sharing of self. Nahi?

*phew long sentence! *

No guts, no glory, no pain, no true gain, even in attachments. Love and War :)

Honesty has caused me some severe pain esp. when ppl i have revealed all to, walked away sometimes, and i have often questioned if it was becos i said all?, but no, in the long run, it is best. Leaves me with a clearer soul. Maybe they werent honest with me in the first place - who wants that?

Why wd i want to live with fears and isnt it a form of deception to leave loopholes? Id rather by loved on being chosen for my entirety. It was their weakness not to be able to withstand my truth and maybe they were too weak to love anyway.

What has to go will go, if its meant to, anyway.

Now my meaning isnt to hurt someone by being brash. Just wanted to clear that too.

And then there are those who like living in this world in denials with their rosecolored glasses on- a perfect lil make believe world.

As for a feeling of shame, thats a paradox, while ppl fear shame to tell all, shdnt they feel more shame for hiding stuff, isnt honesty a truer valueable quality then hiding facts?

That varies from ppl to ppl.

Or fears of being understood.

But nothing is impossible, even understanding.

If they really want to understand or be understood.

Sometimes its just plain obstinancy

or denial or selfcenteredness or wanting to have ones cake and eating it too.

Im digressing.. :)

Am i clearer or vaguer or both? :)

rgds,

Zehra Sr.

fzk ``... jab allah se hum kuch nahi chupa sakte hein to aap logon ko kiya fikr ke koi insaan doosre insaan se kiya chupae ya na chupae? It takes a clear conscience to be upfront like that, kiyon? :)))) ``

Fact of life (one that was pointed out to me by my closest friend in a very hurt tone) is that we find it so hard to share out little secrets with the ones we are closest to and can rattle off the same w/o even blinking to absolute strangers. I guess it is the fear of being judged or rather misjudged tahn a matter of clearing ones conscience.

aicha

Zehra jaani,

Agar aap mere naqshe kadmon pur chal rahi hein to

phir patta nahi kahan pohnche geen - hum ab tak chale jaarahe hein, no thikana whatsoever.. :) its nice to know there are others who have taken on the bold adventurous spirit too. :)

keep going, i hope your pagdandi brings u more

love and happiness than ever, regardless anything, eventually. Whatever eventually means, that is. :)

ylh? get a life. :) it was a good honest piece and ure too much of a coward to admit it.

hi farzana, ashes, hunh?

urstruly, u and my niece have v. strange chemistry.

hey bina, how goes it? ;)

Others i will know on chowk in good time :)

Kal ki fikrein chorro yaaron, jab allah se hum kuch nahi chupa sakte hein to aap logon ko kiya fikr ke koi insaan doosre insaan se kiya chupae ya na chupae? It takes a clear conscience to be upfront like that, kiyon? :))))

Zehra, keep writing all, u mirror some us less endowed with writing skills and its refreshing to see the truth of these feelings expressed as is,

so people can relate to it in their own way and therefore not feel alone.

rgds all,

Zehra Sr.

Re: Rsaxena and Scout

Guys,

I was only kidding. I liked the peace here as well :)

Now behaaaave you two :)

Asim

Re: scroutch

``beta, relax, you`re the kid here getting all hyped up when anything related to sex appears in an interact.``

Don`t you have an ounce of creativity?

Isn`t it time for you to put your foot in your mouth and then deny it or try to fudge it?

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Nice flow of words.
Too old now to relate to the content.

Ras

rsuxena #67, ``These kids on Chowk (scout, etc.) may go home and try them.``

beta, relax, you`re the kid here getting all hyped up when anything related to sex appears in an interact.

tsk tsk, baray ho jao...

Re: bijli

``Not knowing your sex,you would feel quiet home in leather thongs ,whip & bondage..how sick sadistic are you ????????????????????????``

Besharam, reserve that kind of language for your Den of Iniquity. These kids on Chowk (scout, etc.) may go home and try them.

Re: Asim

I was gonna let that one fly. After all, there`s more interesting stuff on Chowk than me trapping scout each time her tongue slips and then her backing away from her gibberish and throwing a tantrum...well, you know the cycle.

Damn, now look what you`ve started. This is what you wanted, isn`t it.

- Harimau (oops, I mean RS...$hit, I got caught).

Shah

suzanne is a generic name it could be ...

can understand scout, can understand zehra, can understand purple & all the A`s but Sharayar - hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - no offense intended anyone : )

True Suzanne is a generic name but then how can just anyone fit into her mold. Nope that cannot be for just anybody and everybody.

However thankyou for sharing - very nice

aicha

Re: Zehra # 61

``I could be convinced to try girls though..:P ).``

LOL:

Z, You are awesome! pls dont change! I had taken the lioberty of posting your earlier article about being Muslim in America to my mailinmg list of friends from school. they thoroughly enjoyed the artcile, and expressed their regret that they wish they had met someone like your before they got married. of course they murmured these sentiments in discrete emails, from obscure mailing accounts, lest the li`l mice get caught. :)

thanks for a good narrative. however that stained shirt does stick in my pakistani born and bred mind. :)

Asim

P.S Get over that fellow! There ise after all plenty of plankton in the sea.

Re: Zehra # 61

``I could be convinced to try girls though..:P ).``

LOL:

Z, You are awesome! pls dont change! I had taken the lioberty of posting your earlier article about being Muslim in America to my mailinmg list of friends from school. they thoroughly enjoyed the artcile, and expressed their regret that they wish they had met someone like your before they got married. of course they murmured these sentiments in discrete emails, from obscure mailing accounts, lest the li`l mice get caught. :)

thanks for a good narrative. however that stained shirt does stick in my pakistani born and bred mind. :)

Asim

P.S Get over that fellow! There ise after all plenty of plankton in the sea.

Zebra #61, ``summers here, lets meet up (even though you arent a boy...i could be convinced to try girls though..:P ).``

whoaaa, i`m not that kind of girl, but then, i might reconsider if i get disappointed by another member of the weaker sex (male), or you turn out to be drop dead gorgeous ;)

Asim Hayat #58,

Zehra`s not one of `those` uptight girls who get offended if I fudge their names up and call them something funny. :) chalta hai sub.

About Rsaxena, he seems to be behaving himself so much so that I haven`t really gotten the opportunity to hang him by his err... hair :)

But I have a feeling he`s using a diff. nick (harimau) to let his anger out. THis will get his attention.

Take care, and don`t be disappointed. Patience.

ciao

scout

anika...it is the same person writing. i wrote that piece almost three years back. i am different but also better at dealing iwth all the demons instead of stifling them. i dont have an easy answer but i adore you for saying they are two radically different personas. im not going to answer the question of the ``I`` narration. that would be giving away too much :)

urstruly and aaeisha, quit it.

asim, scout can call me zebra anyday...she can call me anything her little heart desires.
scouty baby, you never met up with me..you were busy taking exams...summers here, lets meet up (even though you arent a boy...i could be convinced to try girls though..:P ).

apparition...thanks..refreshing it may be but the oppostie of the paki secrecy is what im stuck in now, new yorkers confesing all. you start somoeone on their life and they are so happy to be talking and being listened to that they dont shut up. lookin for the middle ground here. buddha said that was the way to go.

rizvi.

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Re #55:

Sharayar Mian (assuming you`re of that gender),

Pehlay tou hum yeh samajh rahay thay kay shayed aap nay ghalati say `Urstruly` kay bajayai `temporal` likh dya. Laikin jab aap nay koi rudd-o-badal nahi kee apni post ko, tou hum yaqeen karnay pur majboor ho gaye kay aap nay waqayee may `temporal` ko hee mukhaatib kya tha.

Pehlay tou aap humay yeh batayain, what is so `hideous` about addressing a person one knows PERSONALLY with a little affection? Had you paid a little more attention, what you call `softness` and `pampering` is ONLY towards those individuals he happens to know on a personal level. And second---unless you know him really well, (in which case I`ll shut up)---with what degree of certainty are you accusing temporal of being `pretentious`? Don`t you think you`re going a little overboard here with your assumptions?

And besides, if the person being addressed has no problem with temporal`s manner, tou phir aap ko itni pechish kiyoun ho rahi hai? WHY? To repeat Bijli`s question, is the whip treatment more your kinda cuppa??? Where the hell do your `sensibilities` run off to when ladies over here are subjected to vulgar and offensive language and references by some members of your species?? It just might come as a shock to you (again, assuming you`re of the typical desi male variety) but many members of the female gender actually like being treated with respect (and sometimes affection by those they happen to know and respect).

HOWEVER, agar aap yeh sab `jealousy` may aakar kar rahain hain, tou phir aur baat hai - I take everything back. And sorry bud - can`t help you there - you`re barking up the wrong tree - from what I can tell, he ain`t like that. :) (If temporal were to address inter-actors like YOU in the same manner as he does some of the ladies, then I`D be very worried and would have something hideous to say!)

Re : Scout and faux pas

``Zebra #24, ``if you are in ny we can meet up..no problem. that would be fun.``

ok i see how it is...sirf larkon say milti hai gandi bachi ;)``

Scout,

Was there really a need to get personal with Zehra and call her a Zebra. :)

Hope you are doing well. I have not seen you and Rsaxena having a go at each other for the longest time in history of Chowk. Are you two resigned for a peaceful coexistnce now? Now, that would be a real shame. nudge! nudge!

Arrivederci

Asim

Reply #: 55

sharayar

[temporal:

your pretentious softness and pampering towards females here is quite hideous!]

AAhaan,

So brutal,mcgruff,hard &tough Se *xually assaulting demeaning women ,must be your cup of tea.Not knowing your sex,you would feel quiet home in leather thongs ,whip & bondage..how sick sadistic are you ????????????????????????

Apparition

- In my observation the transition from lover to pal only takes place when one is not willing to let go and is ready to settle for tidbits and scraps.

ouch just reading that hurt !!! us mere mortals !

All reasoning aside it is just better to plant a bomb under zaalim-insaan`s chair and be done with it rather than dragging it on.

aicha

temporal:

your pretentious softness and pampering towards females here is quite hideous!

Zebra #24, ``if you are in ny we can meet up..no problem. that would be fun.``

ok i see how it is...sirf larkon say milti hai gandi bachi ;)

wait till I tell Lubna...

reply #48, apparition

``Isn’t it difficult to find a person just about anywhere who would exhibit his personal life for all? Zehra`s boldness is definitely commendable and refreshing. ``

this has nothing to do with Zehra or her post but someone `exhibiting` their personal life does not necesarrily mean they are bold, they could be seeking attention, they could be about i-me-myself or just got trying to hmmmm show off?

repeat, no reference to Zehra.

refreshing? how? dont we all know of so many such bold who everyday at lunch table would sit and let the world know when was the last time they did it and how his/her husband is that and this and mother in law said that or this....writers do it all the time too, i mean look at all the autobiographies or even lit in form of autobio. out there.

Re: Apparition

``In my observation the transition from lover to pal only takes place when one is not willing to let go and is ready to settle for tidbits and scraps.``

Exactly. Once you cross that line between friend and love, it`s all or nothing. Dancing on that line is almost sadistic in some ways. This let`s-be-friends-after-we`ve-been-more-than-that rarely ever works; I`ve seen many a friend try and fail (as have I).

zehra, anyone

good stuff; I just need to ask a question here, if the author is the same person who wrote `` growing up an american muslim `` way back sometime, and if so how come the radical difference in the two personnas and the attitude to life -among other things? I understand about how the I in narration is supposed to be seperate from the I in real life but even those earlier posts seem to be from a completely different individual. sorry about being so uninformed, I just started interacting here a short while ago.

Aeisha

I am not as indicisive as you think I am. See I`ve made up my mind, agreeing with you, that nothing is for sure on internet. And see I agree with people too:)

Thanks for the free psycho-analysis. I do keep all analyses of my personality in my little scarp book and revere them whenever I am lonely and sad and bipolar etc.

In my observation the transition from lover to pal only takes place when one is not willing to let go and is ready to settle for tidbits and scraps.

What about the lurking pain and tension that caused the break up in the first place ????????

And Bina and Zehra lets be honest, why think of this as a characteristic of Pakistani society??? Isn’t it difficult to find a person just about anywhere who would exhibit his personal life for all? Zehra`s boldness is definitely commendable and refreshing.

Re Godot

People who resist love are the ones who need it the most :)

P.S The piece was a treat to read.

Aiesha!

:)
I have two comments on your post``

1. Laholwalquwat, when did I question the capabilities of women writers, poets etc. All I asked was that I wanted Zarda and I am presented with Pallao all the time. Not that I dont like Pallao but I cant eat it all the time. It is just a matter of taste.

Let me be more candid here-I want to understand a women`s feeling of ecstacy that comes with the fulfilment. And by God by ecsatcy and fulfilment I dont mean ``that`` (so keep your fingers off the keyboard Zehra :)). It is the feeling of contentment and joy that I want to understand. That`s all. Chowk has been blessed with some of very good writers. I hav already mentioned Saima Shah, Bad Girl, and Anne. Have you read Zeejah`s ``Puppet``? I read it with a jaw dropping awe. Jawahra is also blessed with good writing skills. Farzana`s poetry is excellent, I am leaving her political analyses out of discussion for now-not that they are bad or good but we are only talking literature here. Bina Shah has excellent writing skills only if she learns to resist being tabloidish. And Scout, she writes well, her poetry has a feeling-and then there is Zehra.

2. I suggest that you get in line in order to run a psychoanalysis on yours truly. The list of people of have and who want to do that is long. I usually get at least one assessment of my personality per day. Have you people ever thought that I may be too lazy to have more than one handles or may be I just dont care about my image or may be I just like to speak my mind or may be I am just poking people or may be I am just playing poker with the people or may be....

re Missfit #40:

``An intelligent rich man.........``.

Lets not kid ourselves shall we. ``A rich man`` would be more appropriate considering the rest of your post.

re binifer #41:

Cyber-relationships(whatever that means) are for the ugly......Jesus!!

later

-sac

saad, nope never but if you are in ny we can meet up..no problem. that would be fun. you can e- me at fatimazehrarizvi@hotmail.com.

urstruly...sheer genius? such effusive praise. and the what the hell comment...i dont know man, i thought this was a pretty upbeat poem. i mean im at a good place, i think.

perfidy...no kerouc..no catcher in the rye. i dont like those books...i just cant relate to a white male growing up.
though i do love joyce. and portrait of an artist as a young man...that more about alienation and metaphors.

sac, mothers in relation to daughters is just too good of a connection to let go of.

rizvi

``Does every woman have that one relationship that was so good, that it got even better 6 months after it was over?``

you must be one of those very few lucky ones ... i liked the nuances of your opening para ... i liked the thoughts running helter skelter through your words ... i liked the ``four cities too late, three golden opportunities too early`` choice of words.

Have you read Chandra`s ``Golden Gate`` ...

cheers

dL

Zehra, if i may use this space for a sec...

To all Karachiwalay:

check out apnakarachi.com

sac Reply # 34

like you guys have these cyber relationships and find it hard to get over THEM?

jeeziz

It is better to invest in a good (not to mention ever faithful) vibrator, than to endure the nuances of romantic love or lust. Women will not attain their fair share of sexual or emotional satisfaction in a relationship with a man. Let us not waste our time losing ourselves in unfruitful labor. A word of advice to Zehra: find an intelligent rich man, procreate to produce more female offspring, and build a solid career. Become a legacy all of your own. If a male wants to tag along, let him. But once he invades into the delicate paths of your mind, lose him.

RE `` Hingol #38

``Is this friend of yours gay by any chance?``

Pretty astute observation.

A very nice work indeed.

Is this friend of yours gay by any chance?

ref bijli

slightly off topic

speaking about flying vehicles (people) in the Ramayana/Mahabharata anyone here read Eric Von Daniken`s stuff?

zehra:

do you ever go to the dastak things?

Zehra:

Mr. K got it out of his system a year or so back. For you it seems to have taken longer. In return we do get to read some very enchanting words. This one for some strange reason reminds me of Parveen Shakir. Same multi-layered textures and self-effacing excuses of sensual guilt....

later

-sac

P.S: If possible, next time please leave your mother out of it if you can :)

``Strumming your pain....

singing your life with his words``

.....roberta Flack

nice work there fzr

killing you softly?

THE CASE FOR SPIDERMAN JANAM—BHOOMI



Now that the Babri masjid has been demolished and foundation stones laid for a Rama temple at the location claimed to be the Rama—janam—bhoomi (Rama—birthplace), it is time that other great personalities such as Spiderman, Wonderwoman, Tarzan, the Incredible Hulk, Sherlock Holmes, Rambo etc are also given their due honour. They must also be considered as real heros as Rama of the Ramayana myth; no Hindhu would have reasons to deny that these characters did not exist as well. The only difference is that Rama of the Ramayana fiction (myth) originated in India while the other fictional characters originated in the west.The fact that these imaginary characters were ‘born’ in the Christian west should not prevent anyone from recognizing the fact that they are all avatars (reincarnation) of Hindhu mythical deities, and hence should not stop the Hindus from building temples to honour them. Therefore, the BJP, VHP, RSS and other Hindu organizations should turn their attention now to this overdue religious duty and help correct this great injustice.By the way, one of my Sri Lankan Hindu friends recently brought to my attention some facts which would make our American friends look like dwarfs in space technology. Our Lankan friend claims that thousands years ago, that is, long before the Americans even dreamt of space travel, the Lankans were engaged in space flights. For proof, he says one has to just read Ramayana. According to Ramayana, the then Lankan king, Rawana, came to know that Sita, the wife of Rama, was a ravishingly beautiful woman. The lustful Rawana, flew over to India, and brought Sita to Lanka, all by space flight. He kept her as one of his concubines for as many as twelve years. Rama, the avatar of Shiva, remained helpless all this while until Hanuman, the mythical monkey, invaded Sri Lanka and rescued her.The same Lankan friend claims that the invasion of Lanka by the Indian army a few years ago, has deep rooted historical relevance. He is absolutely convinced that all those invading Indian soldiers were not human beings, but avatars of monkeys. For proof, he says one has only to look at the animal—like behaviour- of the Indian soldiers. No other proof of would be necessary.According to a news item in the October issue of “INDIA TODAY”, a monkey in the city of Varnasi in Uttar Predesh had died. The local Hindus promptly recognized it as an avatar of Hanuman and took it on a royal procession on the back of an elephant for its final rites.

Coming to think about it, King Kong, the gorilla, is also an avtar of Hanuman. There is no need for any doubts about it; otherwise, can someone explain how King Kong could have climbed Time square, the world’s tallest building and tore it down to pieces, if he were a mere gorilla? Too bad the Americans don’t understand this. The Time Square must indeed be demolished and a temple built in its place, the rightful Hanuman—Janam—bhoomi.HOME

Why are Indian Hindus so obsessed with MONKEYS.In the west Monkey is viled as immitating creatures good for nothin original.

Sunday May 13, 12:51 AM

``Man-monkey`` triggers panic in suburban New

DelhiYahoo! News

· Breaking News

· NEW DELHI, May 12 (AFP) - A man masquerading as a giant monkey is suspected of behind a string of crazed attacks which have triggered an exodus from an industrial suburb of New Delhi, Indian police Saturday.

The police revealed the bizarre case after another resident of an enclave of the township of Ghaziabad was seriously ``mauled`` Saturday by what local residents said was a ``man-monkey`` on the prowl.

More than a dozen people have been hospitalised with fractures and severe injuries as a result of the attacks since April 28, many of them from falls while running away.

Local police said that despite an operation to arrest the disguised mischief-maker, the suspect was still ambushing residents at will, but neither robbed or sexually assaulted his victims.

The Press Trust of India (PTI) described Ghaziabad, a sprawling township of around 150,000 people some 35 kilometres (22 miles) north of Delhi, as in an absolute panic.

``There is certainly absolute panic in the city. I and senior police officers are taking the rounds of the city and we have deployed a lot of personnel,`` said Ghaziabad police chief Prashant Kumar.

``Somebody is playing a mischief by wearing a mask. There is absolutely no scientific basis to the stories,`` he said, referring to rumours the attacker was a modern-day Frankenstein.

One witness, Ganesh Jha, of the Maharana Vihar Residents` Association, claimed he came face to face with the ``huge man-monkey`` and saw him jump 20 feet (six metres) in the air.

``We were taking an evening walk when we walked into this huge man-monkey. The monster sprang up 20 feet from a crouching position and grabbed the branches of a tree and vanished before me and my children could even scream,`` Jha told AFP.

PTI and the Hindi-language Hindustan daily said Ghaziabad was deserted, with its once-lively shopping malls closing before sundown in fear.

Thousands have sent their children away from Ghaziabad and many office-goers were staying indoors, the Hindustan said.

Many local residents are saying the attacks are by a genetic scientist who experimented on himself with an unspecified and untested serum. Police have discounted the rumour as rubbish.

Speculation of a killer ``stoneman`` rocked Calcutta eight years ago following the murder of a dozen homeless people in the eastern city.

The mystery ended with the arrest of a serial killer who used large rocks to batter his sleeping victims.I REST MY CASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday May 13, 12:51 AM

``Man-monkey`` triggers panic in suburban

New DelhiYahoo! News

· Breaking News

· NEW DELHI, May 12 (AFP) - A man masquerading as a giant monkey is suspected of behind a string of crazed attacks which have triggered an exodus from an industrial suburb of New Delhi, Indian police Saturday.

The police revealed the bizarre case after another resident of an enclave of the township of Ghaziabad was seriously ``mauled`` Saturday by what local residents said was a ``man-monkey`` on the prowl.

More than a dozen people have been hospitalised with fractures and severe injuries as a result of the attacks since April 28, many of them from falls while running away.

Local police said that despite an operation to arrest the disguised mischief-maker, the suspect was still ambushing residents at will, but neither robbed or sexually assaulted his victims.

The Press Trust of India (PTI) described Ghaziabad, a sprawling township of around 150,000 people some 35 kilometres (22 miles) north of Delhi, as in an absolute panic.

``There is certainly absolute panic in the city. I and senior police officers are taking the rounds of the city and we have deployed a lot of personnel,`` said Ghaziabad police chief Prashant Kumar.

``Somebody is playing a mischief by wearing a mask. There is absolutely no scientific basis to the stories,`` he said, referring to rumours the attacker was a modern-day Frankenstein.

One witness, Ganesh Jha, of the Maharana Vihar Residents` Association, claimed he came face to face with the ``huge man-monkey`` and saw him jump 20 feet (six metres) in the air.

``We were taking an evening walk when we walked into this huge man-monkey. The monster sprang up 20 feet from a crouching position and grabbed the branches of a tree and vanished before me and my children could even scream,`` Jha told AFP.

PTI and the Hindi-language Hindustan daily said Ghaziabad was deserted, with its once-lively shopping malls closing before sundown in fear.

Thousands have sent their children away from Ghaziabad and many office-goers were staying indoors, the Hindustan said.

Many local residents are saying the attacks are by a genetic scientist who experimented on himself with an unspecified and untested serum. Police have discounted the rumour as rubbish.

Speculation of a killer ``stoneman`` rocked Calcutta eight years ago following the murder of a dozen homeless people in the eastern city.

The mystery ended with the arrest of a serial killer who used large rocks to batter his sleeping victims.

Z -

Thanks for taking my point so well. I take yours equally well. The secretive nature of most Pakistanis (men and women) is born of necessity. I read something Kamila Shamsie said once, that because we are conservative and repressed here, writers learn how to say things using elaborate metaphors. Useful exercise or cowardly hedging? I`m not sure...

B.

Zehra!

I have two comments on this excellent piece of yours:

1. SHEER GENIUS

The honest expression of sensuality turns this small work into a work of art only because there is a sheer genius of a mind behind it. BUT I hate to be a grandma here and tell you that expressing sensuality is like walking over a sharp blade stretched over an abyss (pul-e-siraat). The temptations are high and they are bound to supress the genius sooner or later. Anyone can be Erica Jong but keeping your genius intact is an incredible feat.

2. WHAT THE HELL

God! Jesus! What the hell! It seems that none of the the lady authors and poetesses on chowk ever seen a good day in their whole life (couple of exceptions are Anne, Siama Shah, and Bad Girl; I wonder why they dont write much). Such doom and gloom is chocking, or may be its just me. For heavens sake for once write something bright and shiney.

nasah #489 ``It was about time. Lock him up and throw the keys in the Chenab.``

Agreed. I think the mullahs have exposed themselves to be paper tigers in Pakistan. A few months ago, a few shouts from a mullah in some boondock in Pakistan would have the generals scurrying over to calm him down. Not any more. Now they go behind bars.

as you thrive on interaction, any thoughts on

kerouac or the beats

Of course I am still too much of a traditional thinker to do that `kuri rakhda e` stuff.

Take care and best wishes

wow, responses responses.
this is why i love chowk by the way..the interaction with people. what amazes me is the many many ways in which people will view, understand and read the work.

farzana i thought youd like it :) i look forward to your responses to my work...you always find something or add to it somehow. thanks :)

masd, thank you. i dont think ive seen you respond on poetry before..glad it moved you :)

scout, :P

narain, ylh, perfidy thanks. nahin thakhti

saadpaslam...multiple this time...thats always better i think.

fozia, ahh fozia. i liked your response the most. and i could give you a nice long drawn out response explaning everything but i think it all comes down to.....mindgames :)

hobbyt...always memories. never the real thing..i am changing that though...living in the now and realizing how good it is :)

patrick...nyc kab awo gay? i would love to meet you, yaar..(bring the 12 step manual with you).

bina: whatever slink says is the gospel as far as im concerned.
i dont see it as masochism....but your point is well taken. i like being taken apart this way..it helps me see me as others see me. and i love that my work be described as raw and uncensored.
this secretiveness is very pakistani. its something i avoid. the worth of a person is pakistan is measured by how much information they can gather about another person while giving out the least bit of info about themselves. i sort of understand why though in pakistan...its the right to remain silent otherwise everything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.
these arent pages from my journal by the way. those would go more like this...

dear diary, today im wearing my blue dress with pink bows in my hair. i ate tuna fish for lunch and after writing this im going to go out to the new sephora store that opened up on 5th ave. won`t that be fun? there was a cute boy who looked at me for a millisecond on the street...i think he has a crush on me...i`ll have to ask next time i see him. i know where he lives since i accidentally followed him home...he lives on 43rd street...i think its fate...4 plus 3 is 7 and as you know, 7 is my lucky number. i hope his apartment is nice so that once we get married and i move in i`ll be happy there. i`ll write again tomorrow and let you know how millisecond boy proposed. love always, zehra.


!K!...i could lie and say no...that was you (parts not all) BUT that was like 2 years ago...

fzk khala....adaab arz hai. ap kay footsteps main hi chal rahee houn.

i think that covered everyone who needed covering.

rizvi.

Rizvi -

Feel as though I am reading pages from your diary. Am not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. Somehow in my own writing I always feel there should be a difference between the ``I`` of reality and the ``I`` of narration. Why, you say? Perhaps it is my secretive nature (hee hee, T) but to put the raw, uncensored me out there on the page and let everyone have their way with her seems to me masochistic. Unless you like your jinns with tonic, as Slink says.

B.

whats wrong with wallowing taimur?

rizvi, a delight to read, as ever. aap thaktee nahin?

`Do you think it is as painful for a phoenix?`

Damn right it is lady. You tootie fruties have no idea what real pain is. Still, everything has a price and the fertile ashes given in the deal have been good to me. Reeeeeaaal good!!!

Take care

I put a spell on you!

because you`r mine!

Good stuff, again? Is it him you miss, or what you felt you were, those many months age?

Z:

``The Evil Knevil in me says,

What the hell? Why not?

What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger``

heheheh ... if, darling, IF it doesn`t kill you!

Thought about the 12-step? :-)

rgds,

PM

what a poem!!!

he was stupid that he lost u first time and more stupid when he tried to get you second time.

hehehe.

don`t tell me you still haven`t gotten over him:)

nice one.

As always you wrote from my heart.

The came. The laffed. They loved. They loafed. They Left.

Good work - yet again, darling.

fzk/.. (Zehra Sr.)

Interesting, read, Z. Was that me, by the way?

-!K!-

What pathetic piece of nonsense...:)

Characteristic of Ms Rizvi

-YLH

Interesting...

re: zehra #6

``why is it ok that the bronte sisters imagined whole lifestyles but i cant? ``

Your writings express certain emotions and your interacts the opposite.

Mindgames? Yes? No? Maybe? Maybe not? :)

Fozia

I see that you continue to be obsessed with your ex. This isnt your first writing involving him. Whats with that?

Dear Ms. Rizvi,

The resident critic at chowk was very cryptic with his comments this time. But if it helps, I thought this was an excellent piece. Very well written, and very expressive.

.... laholaywalquwat !

........ centuries ago ban zhao said :



`` a woman should choose her words with care; avoid vulgar language; speak at appropriate times; and not to weary others with much conversation ``

...... centuries later mulla omar did what was necessary to implement these ancient chinese words of wisdom ....

.... but then bob dylan ruined it all by saying

``Well, that woman I got, man, she does just what she feels``

Even the most liberal of all have censor!!!

May 12, 2001

Dartmouth Expels Fraternity Over Articles

By CAREY GOLDBERG









Join a Discussion on Ideas on Contemporary Education









OSTON, May 11 — Dartmouth College officials permanently closed a fraternity today for publishing a newsletter that named and derided some of the women who it said had sex with the fraternity`s members and promised ``patented date rape techniques`` in a future edition.

``Zeta Psi undermined fundamental values we hold dear,`` the college president, James Wright, wrote in an open letter about the fraternity that published the newsletter. ``When such conduct violates our standards, the college must take action.``

The decision came at a time of rising discontent among critics of the fraternities and sororities, known as Greek houses, that dominate the campus`s social life and have mixed Dartmouth`s reputation for academic excellence with a reputation for ``Animal House`` antics.

The critics have been complaining that the administration has failed to live up to its 1999 pledge that it would overhaul the frat-house social scene, and the Zeta Psi newsletter, they say, exemplifies everything that is wrong with some houses` culture.

Last week, 101 faculty members signed an open letter to the president and the trustees saying that they continued to teach ``female students and students of color who suffer from institutionalized practices of sexist and racist humiliation that fester largely unabated within secret fraternity culture.``

``We ourselves have never felt more disappointed,`` they wrote, ``by the administration`s failure to address the systemic and incalculable harm that both our students and our own pedagogical work suffer by Dartmouth`s acceptance and support of structures that promote such attitudes of entitlement and disrespect.``

Zeta Psi`s national organization, based in Pearl River, N.Y., declined to comment today on the college`s decision, as did the 48-member fraternity on campus. Members have previously defended the newsletter — The Zetemouth — as satire.

Under the college`s decision Zeta Psi is permanently ``derecognized`` on campus; members living in the group`s house may stay until June 10, and no meetings or social activities will be allowed in the house. The fraternity has seven days to appeal.

In general, campus sentiment has been against Zeta Psi. On April 18, when the campus newspaper, The Dartmouth, broke the story about the newsletter, about 250 students protested on the fraternity`s lawn.

``I have complete faith in this decision,`` Melissa Heaton, the junior who found the newsletters and brought them to the attention of The Dartmouth and the administration, said today, though ``I think it`s sad it had to come to this.``

Some on campus said the decision violated the fraternity`s free speech rights.

``I think that they should be punished,`` said Dan Pollock, a senior, ``but they shouldn`t be permanently derecognized. Because what it comes down to is humor, albeit poor humor.``

University officials countered that the issue was one of community standards. Dr. Wright wrote in an open letter that he had warned fraternities and sororities that they would be expected to prevent racist, sexist and homophobic behavior.

The campus newspaper printed photos of parts of the newsletters, which were meant to be given out at the fraternity`s meetings and destroyed afterward. Names and some parts of photos were blacked out.

It did not help that a newsletter promising date-rape techniques was issued in the middle of the campus Sexual Awareness Week.

College officials emphasize that they have indeed been taking steps to change the campus social life, from planning new dormitories to adding social programs. But ``Greek`` culture is deeply entrenched at Dartmouth, where about half of all upperclassmen belong to a house, and alumni resistance to change is strong in some quarters.

Today`s decision was not the broad crackdown some have demanded, but it did seem to put other Greek houses on notice. Jim Larimore, the dean of the college, said today that while he would not say the decision was meant as a warning, other organizations ``should certainly view this as a strong statement about what we expect and what we will tolerate and what we will not.``

This confirms my view that ``love`` is nothing more than a four-lettered word, and that only fools for it, ie, those who have nothing better to do.

you need a beating :)

Re: Zehra #6

A ``friend`` is a ``friend,`` a love is a love - the two shall not mix. (Although I suppose a love should be a friend too but that`s just semantics now - the two are very different things.)

Zehra:

STOP! 6 months after it is over, you can feel that the skin you have shed is the one you are walking on. He is walking on. Funny how lingeries becomes metaphors ....discardables? sensual wonders of a potent past? what?

``I feel afraid feeling safe with him.``

``three golden oppportunities too early``

Damn, damn, damn...how do you know? Why do you know? Love you for it, and feel like hating you for it, but...

``Do you think it is as painful for a phoenix?``

Yes. Have risen. Can taste the ash. Am the ash.

Hmmm...it is the sound of resonance.

Farzana

wow, this has been in the chowk pipeline for a while now. reading it now, the whole section with the not again not with this one can go. out of sync. needs to be shorter somehow.

t-bhai...im almost afraid to ask to explain the hmmmm`s. :) ouch kiss baat ka?


rsaxena...no, just the opposite.

------
why is it ok that the bronte sisters imagined whole lifestyles but i cant?


z.rizvi.

It reminds of fake lovers intense in public, with conspicuous marks on necks when coming at job..

Nearing divorce at home.

Why not advertize it in New York Times.

=== Interact Filtered ===
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Thanks for proving so poetically that erstwhile loves can never be just friends. It`s all or nothing.

Z:

...hmmm...

...hmmmm...

...hmmmmm...

...hmmm?

...hmmmmm?!

...hmmmmm!

...hmmmmm:)


love,

temporal


PS: ouch!