What I Want Pakistan’s CEO To Do

Urstruly #31

If you can e-mail.

krashid@vsta.com

Urstruly #31

Spoken like a man.

Human dignity, honor, rights are useless and these issues are on backburner.

Now the mantra is killing and raping and call it democracy and secularism.

We have to eat McDonalds and Kentucky fried chickens and to do that keep a blind eye to the rights which are trampled all over the world.

But one lesson I have learnt.

Aaj Woh Kal Hamari Baari Hai.

We are still selling our kidneys, our sisters, our brothers and children for dollars. But it is given a sophisticated name in democracy and secularism.

And any person or group violating the GREAT principles of democracy is bombed, and killed in the name of democracy and secularism.

I am with you.

Pimps of Democracy.------

Urstruly:

A commendable speech, a lot of passion. Are you sending these posts from Gilgit/Baltistan, or have you already infiltrated across the LOC, finding time to interact on Chowk in between heroic feats of valor conducted against the Indian Army. I don`t mean any disrespect to you Sir, and would welcome any criticism, but don`t you think its a bit easy to talk about sacrificing blood from the sanctity of your living room.

For the record, I have no idea who or where you are. If you are a Jehadi, and are actually involved in the struggle from the Pak Perspective, than I apologise to you and take back everything I said. If you are a Jehadi, I would consider you the enemy yes, but would respect your motivation and courage. If however, you are enjoying the comforts of an upper middle class existance in the West or for that matter in Pakistan, than I would question your right to speak of shedding blood. All you do is validate the commonly held Kashmiri belief that India and Pakistan are willing to fight over Kashmir upto the last Kashmiri.

Please don`t give the excuse that different people have different capabilities that they are better suited to fulfill. Thats a cop-out and you know it. In that scenario, you would lack the moral authority to criticize those who seek peace, as just or unjust it may seem to you.

Mr Malik:

The Gym`s definitely a great place for a drink. I miss that old Sikh gentleman who would chase us around if we brought around guests as dependants. I believe he passed away last year. But next time I`m in Delhi, the drinks are definitly on me. By the way, there`s a book in the DGC library called Nation of Fools. Its a humprous take on the Punjabi refugee community of Delhi, Chandigarh etc. Have a feeling you might enjoy it.

Farzana:

I dunno about India-Pak, but this may become one of those never ending Delhi Bombay slag fests we all enjoy so much. Can`t speak for the Willingdon, since I have never been there,but I know the DGC is way better than the Bombay Gymkhana (and the host of other imitation Gymkhanas..Parsi...Dadar etc.) Oh yeah, the swimming pool at the Delhi Gym is called the Lady Willingdon swimming bath. So, lemme see, the people we name swimming pools for, you seem to be naming the club itself??? Humph, and you talk of colonialism..

Why do I get pissed off by your articles. Lets leave that for another day ;) Yes Yes I know how popular you are. People love you so much they always seem to be offering free airline tickets to you :) Wish I generated such love. My vacation plans would be set for all time.

/

Shammi:

That your family was evicted and lives lost is tragic. Millions of persons on both sides have had such experiences. But if that is what Pakistan means to you, I cannot change that. Only you and others who hold Pakistan as being the cause of their travail can change that. Remember, not just Muslims ahd a hand in framing the terms and consequences of the partition. Obviously more than Pakistanis were involved in evictions of both sides. But you don`t have to acknowledge that either.

And yes, you have got it right, I`m proud of Pakistan, of every miserable and beautiful grain of sand, dust and dirt and of Pakistanis, regardless of their shortcomings. It does not mean that I do not acknowledge our failings. You be proud of yourself and Indians.

Entertaining article, as usual.

You have a knack for writing about volatile subjects, in an entertaining manner, without offending people.

Musharraf should try to do as much of what you have stated, except the parajumping (He is 56, and may end up breaking something. Added to this, he is now the President, and Presidents are not even allowed to ride motorcycles, much less parajump). Unfortunately, he only has 2 days in India, and will not be able to do everything.

Since he was born in India, and traces his immediate relatives back to India, he is probably well-versed with the subtleties of the Indian society. I am quite sure he will not have too much trouble charming the Indians. He has already given some interviews to Indian journalists, and is slowly becoming an old pro. He also has an international reputation of being an honest person, even amongst the people who do not support his Martial Law.

However, considering the fact that every Indian-Pakistani discussion, from hygiene to kebabs, eventually somehow or the other, ends up on Kashmir, one would have to assume that Kashmir is the only roadblock between India and Pakistan (although there is an outside chance that the actual roadblocks are kebabs, hygeine, trade etc., and should thus take precedence over Kashmir) So that is what needs to be discussed, and solved. Once that is solved, everything else will handle itself very quickly, and Pakistanis and Indians will probably become allies. However, the vice-versa is not true.

Condolences regarding your cousin. I have not met a single soldier, in any country, who ever willingly wants to go in to fight civilians. They are ordered by their political masters and the civilian public. In the end, the public and the political masters, leaves the soldiers holding the bag, and blames them for everything. Not to mention the fact, they get killed also. It is a lose-lose-lose situation.

I hope Vajpayee seriously wants to discuss Kashmir. Otherwise, not much will change. Pakistan has now accepted that it only wants what the Kashmiris want, and has no territorial ambitions over Kashmir. Kashmiris themselves are willing to accept limitations, as long as they have a say in the limitations. India is the only party that is stuck on its atut-ang stance, and defines Kashmir under the only document in the world that recognizes it as a part of India, i.e. the Indian Constitution. Hence India has to keep hundreds of thousands of soldiers in Kashmir to ensure this stance.

If India were to do the decent and humane thing, and allow a referendum (like the Canadians did in Quebec), your cousin would still be alive, as would tens of thousands of innocent Kashmiris. Kashmir would either be independent, part of Pakistan, or part of India. And I can make a bet the day-to-day lifestyles of the average Indian contributing on Chowk (who has more than likely, rarely if ever, been to Kashmir) would not be affected, one bit. How many Pakistanis, born after 1971, are actually affected by the fact that East Pakistan was at one time part of Pakistan? Very few, if any.

It is all a matter of ego and misplaced human rights definitions.

Veeresh 26

Veeresh

``Triple meaning`` - My apologies in that case. It seems I really did not get but one layer, if that.

Farzana Versey 27

Farzana

That most of us look alike is not the issue. What do we have in common with AtaTurk that we don`t have in common with Maulana Azad? Farzana, we paid a huge price for this real estate called Pakistan, (As we should have), Maulana Azad has in league with those who would deny us to ensure a still birth. AtaTurk may be thousands of miles away, but he displayed no hostility towards us just for being.

Pakistanis want to develop an identity or put emphasis on ``not Indian`` precisely because Indians display a institutional, almost congential hostility towards us and our ideals.

The difference is in our free choice with regard to whom we wish to identity with.

That this ``reeks`` of insecurity, yes I suppose it does. Drowning in a pool of ``Indianness`` is something many Pakistanis seek to avoid. You know, like you be you, not like me.

I realize this is belaboring the point, but I honestly am so bewildered by the attitudes of so many Indians. What, after so many years, is so difficult to internalize about our desire to chart a seperate course? Just what about acknowledge and respect our differences so that we can acknowledge and respect our similarities, is so difficult for Indians to understand. Even siblings are different from one another.

anyways -

Bong Dong

I don`t know what it was you had written or what language that was in, but put in English. I am sure it will be instructive to Pakistanis and more than one or two Indians. Perhaps, it too, is multi dimensional, in which case, it might have been wasted on me.

Re: Hobbyty #23

``Indians hold that we broke ``their`` country, never acknowledging that we charted a course that is our right to. ``

My family was evicted, involuntarily, without any choice in the matter from what is today Pakistan. In the process, over 30 people were killed, property looted, or abandoned. Is this also something that you are proud about the course that you `charted`?

Hi sadna . . . # 29 & 30 . . . ir-reverance forever towards everybody especially gods with feet of clay especially those in jackboots or articifial knees . . . more I promise you more . . . thanks for trying . . . as for UrsTruly, what`s biting him now?

JAMHOORIAT KAY DALLAY (Pimps of Democracy)

Dear Readers!

Today I`ve come here as a businessman. I buy and sell human beings.

Consider this post as a `Want Ad`. Dear Reader! I want to buy your sisters. You Sir! Are you listening? I am looking for girls just like your daughters. Ma`m! I also like to buy your baby. Hey Miss! Are your father and brother on sale? I will pay you good money. If you want American currency I will pay you a dime per head; and if you want local currency for your `merchandise` I will pay you Rs. 6 or 7 depending on where you live, India or Pakistan.

Hey you people! why are you looking at me like this? I am not crazy. I am not asking you anything unusual. I am just a businessman. Why you find my offer so unbelievable, so offensive?. Joseph was bartered for a bail of cotton; wasn’t he? I know that it was old times, biblical times, and prehistoric times when men and women were sold like cattle. But man has been selling himself for ever now, he sells himself because sometimes its hunger, sometimes its burden of responsibility, sometimes he is sold against his will and sometimes it’s the peace that he barters himself for. It wasn’t prehistoric, biblical, and old times when a whole nation was sold just for Rs. 6 per head. That nation thought that they would get peace; a release from the fear of hunger, and probably dignity. They kept quiet hoping that they would somehow manage to preserve their dignity. So the deal went through. The Kashmiri was sold for Rs. 6 per head in those days by British to the Hindu dogras.

My Dear Kashmiri Brother and Sisters:

How naïve you were. How did you expect to have dignity when you wear someone else`s reins? It has been over a century now that the darkness of the night into which your forefathers had pushed you, does not end. The choices that a nation makes, keeps on haunting it for century. This is the price you had to pay when your forefathers chose to keep quite-keeping quite did not bring them food-keeping quiet did not bring them prosperity and it definitely did not give them dignity that all human beings deserve. Instead they were pushed around, smacked around, and kicked around. There are some things in life that come before anything-they come before your family, your friends, your livelihood, your honor, your dignity and even your God and freedom is one of them.

Kashmiris learnt their lesson the hard way. It took them a while to say that `enough is enough`. I know that you had a choice; you could take the opiate of so-called democracy and be like 650 million shudras living like insects having no dreams no dignity and no concept of equality. I know that you had a choice to live in this golden cage of so-called secularism that your oppressors show you while raping your mothers, sisters, daughters and wives. And I know that you finally chose to die rather than being someone`s shudra. I respect that. My Brothers and Sisters! This world is blind. It has chosen not to see your blood. It looks the other way when Hindu kills your children, rape your women, and burns your house down. The new world morality blames you when Hindu steals your livelihood, denies you your right to breathe. I understand when you gasp for air and scream and appeal to the world that this democracy is denying you your right to life; this gloutine of a secularism is chopping your tongs off if you dissent. Now that when your oppressors have tested your resolve in every way possible; now that you have shown the world that your thirst, your hunger for freedom is way more than those Jamhoriat kay Dallay, Britishers could have ever seen in Irish freedom fighters; and now that you have shown the world that your nerves of steal are stronger than Palistinians, Chechens, Afghans, Vietnamese, Iranians, and every nation on this planet who had ever stood for itself, they have come to sell you again. Promising peace again.

My Dear Kashmiri Brothers and Sisters!

You are at the crossroads of history again. There are forces out there that want to extinguish the flame that once showed you that `you are somebody`. They want to shade the light again that showed you the way to the self-reliance; the self-reliance that elevates a human to a level that is only next to gods. They are placing their bets on the table and the bets are on nothing but on your heads; the bet is on violated honor of your women; and the bet is on your children who were slain like lambs. I think you know that the delusions of grandeur have corrupted your oppressors absolutely; this delusion has taken away the last shred of human decency; I also know that you understand that the absolute power has corrupted our (Pakistani) rulers absolutely too. I know that you understand that the Pharos of this time and age are preparing for your auction again. I know that that they have taken your silence as a nod of agreement. But they don’t understand that any peace that doesn’t prevent murder, rape, pillage, and slow genocide is a travesty. Any peace, that does not guarantee that you will get your right to speak your mind, is a farce. And any peace that comes by shredding your motherland into pieces is a deception.

My Brothers and Sisters!

In this world where now human beings would rather have a burger from MacDonald than to work hard to save your lives; and in a world where people would rather have their Walmarts than to speak against an oppressor who shreds the honor of women and children like they are worth nothing; do not consider yourself alone. I am with you. My sisters I swear to the sanctity of your chaddar that is still as sacred and as pure as the wings of angels I will not let them sell you, your men and your children again. As long as a single Muslim in subcontinent has a red blood cell in his veins he wont let it happen again; as long as he remembers how Ghaznavi told us that human life is worth more than an insect, he will come fight for you; As long as a mother keeps on telling her son how Abdali saved us, he will keep on coming to save you; and as long as one single Pakistani remembers how to die like Syed Ahmad Shahid he will come die for you; and as long as one Pakistani who has a tongue in his mouth and remembers Mujadid Alif Saani he will die speaking for you. I promise you that.

#29
I meant ``Well, then better present him with some Khaddar spun during the freedom movement. It will scratch satisfactorily in the humid weather and remind him of symbolic sacrifices made by many people, of British-spun comfort and the trappings of colonial wealth.``

veeresh
1. Race course : something to do with Ms Sonia Gandhi and the Congress? And who are you calling donkey here:)?

2. No clue. OK parajump will show India or the Taj from the air? Something to do with UP elections and Vajpayees niece?? Or the Mughals? Dharamshala is to do with Tibet and the Dalai Lama?

3. Drive around and see how fixing roads which kill people is a more urgent issue in India? Didnot Vajpayee talk of a National highway plan?

4. Ambassador : learn about frugal swadeshi? Well, then better present him with some Khaddar spun during the freedom movement. It will scratch satisfactorily in the humid weather and remind him of symbolic sacrifices of British-spun comfort and the trappings of colonial wealth which many people adopted as part of the movement.

5. My sincere sympathies. As someone else hinted, ask him to bring along a mujahideen`s widow or mother. Maybe he will learn something from her on the way over.

6. So that Indians over 60 can stop getting in the way with their nostalgia and get real? So Indians under 21 can realise there are no horns and cloven hoofs, only the same species homo hungryus?

7. same as 4

8,9. No riddles here?

American chop suey: You can get a horse to water, you cannot make it drink. Havenot the Balkans taught them anything yet? And btw, I havenot seen American chop suey in the US, its seems to be Indian speciality :).

Ref Veeresh:

bong-dongs #17: O please transalate kind sirji?

Well I was letting Mr Hobbyty know that he was right I have nothing in common with a bigot like him (I though saying it in Marathi would emphasise the point :-)

Stuka (#10):

Hey, don’t apologise for not bringing in Kashmir etc. The Delhi Gym is like the LOC. Have you seen the fights there over who should step where, and the army takeover? Thanks for pointing out that the blankets are not smelly. I forgot that since the whole place stinks, the cobwebby smell of the razais is smothered. What do I have against the place? Because it is “colonial”? (Hmph, not colonial enough, if you compare it with hamara Willingdon in Mumbai, which is for ladies and gentlemen not retired fossils quarreling over antiquity.) Because they have a dress code? (Hmph. What dress code? Only last week I was there, without prior planning, so dressed casually and believe me I was better trussed up than the behenjis calling out to the bearers, “Raja, zara paani-shaani milega ji?”)

Btw, why do my articles piss you off? Just want to be the exception? Don’t you know I am universally loved around here? :)

Cheers?

Veeresh (#11):

You call me infidel, non-believer only because of the reference to an engine-less Merc? I am sure it is in good order, and I hope sincerely that more of the good things in life come your way. But, I was merely suggesting something for the CEO/President, and a khaali dibba was a potent imagery. Drat…you are angry with me :(

Yes, I have been had by that Fatehpur Sikri bloke…so what’s new?

[“I do think most of us in India, and not just Russi Karanjia or MJ Akbar, can and could say what we pleased.”]

Since I am not arguing over whether We can as opposed to Them, truth to say, have you thought about the subtle manoueverings? The outcome? Only because Pakis are watching us, we need not put on this holier-than-thou face. Talking of which, how about declaring ailaan-e-jung with Ras Siddiqui over the superiority of our kebabs? Can they make anything close to kakori? As regards a joint freedom struggle, I did not differ with you. I only think that BOTH sides must be made aware of it. And “we are not of the same background” is a constant whine even from those on our side.

Ab ghussa thook do. And I love your gaddi, ok?

MT (#12):

[“#4 , What is the need to reply in swahili or some other language? I understand that some Indians and Pakistanis have made eastern Africa home , but Wwahili is about as unitelligible to Indians as Pak intransigence.”]

Firstly, it would be nice if you addressed me by name, rather than a number, as I have not done anything to hurt you. Strange that you have to take a jibe at a joke. That is a double whammy. Pak intransigence is unintelligible to Indians? That sounds like Swahili now. Good. You are learning.

Gymnosophist (#15):

I guess that man at F. Sikri is the descendant of the one you mentioned…and yes, things haven’t changed much. History does not just repeat itself, it is a continuum. I must confess the first time I saw that man dive, I was disgusted, but my relatives told me that it was his only means of income, and that is how I should think about it. Next time round I saw it as just some acrobatic feat.

Popcorn (#6):

Your well-meaning optimism aside, I think you are making a sweeping generalization when you say, “Lets hope some balance prevails on both sides, more so on the Paki side, since I am convinced reading chowk for quite some time that most Pakistanis do view India as enemy # 1 which is not the case with most Indians.”

This is just not true. Have you been seeing the posts by our people? They are equally, if at times not more, venomous. Why look elsewhere…just look at bong_dong’s note (#17) to hobbyty. I wonder if you understand Marathi, but it effectively reveals that we are no angels. Worse, some don’t even have the courage to say it in a language that would be understood by the ‘enemy’.

As for poverty being the main enemy, do you believe if both the nations were rich there would be no political crises and all the biases would disappear?

hobbyty (#8):

[“Majority of Pakistanis and Indians have no mutual history other than mistrust and suspicion. Any effort that seeks to assert upon the Pakistani that India is anything but a

adversary or enemy, is an effort at obfsucation…The respect for this difference, this respectable, proper distance, is an acknowledgement of reality and a good place to start.”]

Mistrust and suspicion do not negate mutual history; rather, it consolidates them. On the one hand you say the past is the past and then you talk about being an adversary, forgetting that it is the past that has made us adversaries. Okay, accepted we are different (and how do I stop the stray comments of, “Oh, you look like a Paki”; on a good day it graduates to Afghan refugee as well?), but how different? Honestly, what do you guys share with Kemal Ataturk that you do not with Maulana Azad? Allama Iqbal’s “Saare Jahan se achcha” is even more popular than our national anthem because it is simple and emotional. This does not in any way demean our Indianness. Your identity is safe and distinct, but by hammering home the point once too often, it begins to reek of insecurity. And this applies to my countrymen and women as well.

sadna #9: you`re getting warm, though I assure you I may be tongue-in-cheek, I`m not devious.

Stuka #10: on the Delhi Gym, great place, great bar, especially if you have friends who are members and pay for you. Farzana is from Bombay, so I guess they wouldn`t know the historical value of colonial blankets.

MT #12: Swahili would be a good language in which to try and solve the Kashmir problem. The Pakistanis can have Swahilistan as well as Saurav Ganguly (saving him on airfare on his return from Zimbabwe and Bantustan)

Shah #13: Sir, I think you may be intelligent and you think I may be wrong. Maybe I am wrong.

Tahmed #14: My point on Major Abhimanyu Sikka was to drive home a point on whose grandson in India`s history he was. Also, your condolences accepted, and thank you for your sentiments, which are no longer restricted to ``silent majority``.

gymnosophist #15: This jumping into wells thing seems to be catching. Got to explore the deep rooted reasons.

palwashai #16: Your take on current leaders in India opening MacDonalds all over is good, and the Americans last practised it by offering supermarkets to Vietnamese generals.

bong-dongs #17: O please transalate kind sirji?

taimurmalik #18: Chief, all I want is for my family, my tribe, my city, my state, my nation, my sub-continent, my continent, my world, my universe . . . to do well. I got a small role somewhere, I try to play it. In the bargain I try to tell my neighbour that maybe we can like make a common septic tank instead of doing it on each other`s carpet, and then buying new carpets every month?

ylh #19: Thank you, and we all need to thank Prem too. As for RSaxena . . . well maybe he will meet his equivalent of a Prem/Parvez someday too, and then let nature take its course?

adnan_672 #20: Matters not what he ends up doing as long as he tries to do something. But yes, I can sympathise with your cynicsm on the army rule part of things.

Shah #21: Nobody blaming Musharraf. Thank you for your views on India, we are trying to improve and solicit your astute observations, though you almost sound like the (mostly desi) inhabitants of the Foreign Press Club.

sarwari #22: I disagree with you, respectfully. I do think that one big cause for all our problems on the Indo-Pak border is that you Pakis have no other enemies. We watch China . . .

hobbyty #23: Please read the article carefully. Please appreciate that most of the tongue in cheek issues have a triple meaning hidden, and that I am at the end of the day a more patriotic Indian than many others and would not and could not resist the option.