When the Lights Hurt the Eyes

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Lovely writing. I myself outgrew diwali (or deepavali as we call it in the south) after high school. Can`t say why. I do enjoy celebrating christmas, by watching others celebrate it.

``I think these occasions should be left for children. Innocence is dying. Today even if I want gulal on my face during Holi, I know it is mixed with oil paint. I know that in Calcutta Goddess Kali is made happy with slaughtered animals that cry drowning the sound of Rabindra sangeet. I know that for many the Ramazan fast is the wait for Maghrib and the drive to the gallis for tender skewered meat. The symbols have failed us, or we have failed them.``

The firecrackers (diyas?) are made by little kids in dark, stuffy rooms under very dangerous conditions, the beautiful saris were dyed with chemicals that poison rivers & wells.. You`re right, our innocence has been lost.

Farzana, you certainly brought back some cherised memories. Life was so much better when we were kids.

I still remember going with a large group of friends to the local park where they would burst the effigies of Ravan. Dusherra marked the begining of the Diwali season for my friends and I.

On our way back we would buy the first installment of crackers. Typically they would be the small ``snake`` tablets. These tiny black pellets would become long strings, once lit.

We would then graduate to the small ``Hydro`` bombs.

We would typically bury them in the ground (making sure that the fuse did not touch the mud) and wait to see the size of the crater. The bigger the crater, the better the bomb. Another variation of this was blowing the bottom of a tin box. Typically the box would get launched vertically in the air, and when it came down, the bottom of the box would be missing.

My friends consisted of kids in the neighbourhood who came from different backgrounds. Some were kids of drivers and domestic helpers while others were the sons of industralists. However, in the play ground we were all one.

Diwali was big in our house as almost all our friends and family members would come to our house to celebrate. It would take a couple of hours for all the fire works to get done. My friends and I would start with rockets. Then came the parachute rockets and then the fancier fire works. By this time my dad would be telling us to wrap things up, and this meant burning all the ammo asap.

The finale was usually the buring of the bid ``Laris``, small firecrackers joined by a large fuse. I remember by dad getting one which was 1 Lakh ``laris``. We spread that on the road (as the ground was moist) and it would take about 10 minutes to finally finish.

Once that got done, we would head back inside for food and cards. Diwali night was one of the few nights when I would get to play cards with real money.

All that changed, last time when i went back. I wanted to get crackers but no one was there to burn them with. I ran into one of my friends, who was a driver at the US embassy, in Delhi. When I met him, he was not sure wether he should shake my hand or do a salaam. It was almost that time, education and the norms of ``society`` had made an invisible wall between us.

Another friend, with whom I spent countless hours exploring the Delhi ridge, was now too ``old`` to burn crackers. He was hard at work, trying to woo the Russian diplomats` daughters, who seem to roam around our colony in large numbers.

I was in India for Diwali after a gap of 7 years.... but it was already as if a life time had passed. Everyone had moved ahead, but I.

AD

Yes money can buy the ``Unbearable lightness of being``, I have three. Just dont but the video.

festivals and holidays are excuses for people to be happy. but for some reason, they become meaningless when you have suffered hardships and personal losses in your life.

the way i see it is, do whatever works for you in order to gain a little bit of light in your life.

i personally don`t celebrate anything, besides the occasional birthdays of friends and family, but i like driving around looking at Christmas lights. it`s nice just seeing others rejoice.

Dear Farzana:

You have blended too much logic with your beautiful experiences of these festivals. I bet you were not blending this logic as a child and enjoying it too. See what logic does if you use it to run your life.

Certainly try again, and go and enjoy Diwali ``with the girls shrieking with mock fear`` and not looking back at Laughing Buddha for approval; by all means enjoy Christmas Carols without thinking about who we ``owed our illiteracy``; please have ``gulal on my face during Holi``, if you still want it and not worry about mixed with oil paint [from my childhood I can assure it was mixed even then]. We simply did not care, and melted ourselves in the moment. Enjoy Eid`s Shararra and feel shy too.

Life is not logical, my friend. It brings to my Jagjit Singh`s Gazal - ``Woh Kagaz ki Kishti...``

Happy Diwali to you and all others,

ANIL

Chowk Staff:

Please compare the number of replies to Pakistan-related artilces with the number of replies to Hindustan-specific articles.

Do you think that your readership really cares about Hidustani issues??

Why do you have to publish Farzana every week? Is it because she has been fired by Midday and no Hindustani publication will publish her?

As a reader from the day 1 of chowk.com, I would like to see more articles realted to Pakistan.

Wonderful as usual Farzana.

Re Sarwar: Happy Diwali to you too Sarwar


Umair Khan

Diwali greetings to all readers of CHOWK.

Ras

My previous post should include...``Just don`t buy the video.``

Sounds like your childhood was filled with celebrations.

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Farzana,

Your article brings to mind Barbara S`s haunting melody from The Way We Were.

``...could it be that everything was so simple then, or has time rewritten every lie?`` Perhaps someone would recall the complete song. I remember it ends by asking if we wanted to return to those innocent times long past, could we? would we??

Thank you for the charm and beauty of your musings.

In your own way, you have subtly brought out the good side of growing up in India, despite all its faults and hardships.

Like AD says in posting #3, “My friends consisted of kids in the neighborhood who came from different backgrounds. Some were kids of drivers and domestic helpers while others were the sons of industrialists. However, in the play ground we were all one.”

The smiling faces of those street urchins on the footpaths of Bombay can make the visiting tourist wonder about assumptions that equate wealth with happiness. Would it have something to do with growing up in a multi-cultural, mixed society that is India, where religion is not really important except at times of riots or elections?

Happy Diwali to all.

Response #7

Mr.Ali thank u very much. Thanks for you writing up. I feel too much hindu stuf and indian muslum dominates ok. I support you mentally to want more pakistan related stuf.I opinion too much impottence to india and hindus.What we care diwali?

we donot. first indian movie attack and then culture type attack . We need pakistan center. I do not allow children hindi video ok. we need india out of site and then out of mind. some time my feeling is urdu divide (sindhis they hate urdu and punjabi) and bring near to hindi and indirect india.so if we follow arabic or uzbek (babar was like that) say 60 years, no urdu, no hindi, no india mental ok.WE are not India chhap hindu people. I think we are more bound culture to Afghan, mughal,china,iran,arab,Turki,palestine than india hindu chhap culture.we are by land near india but our heart is in middle east and central asia. at least mine is. and most pakistani. We should make guest writer arab, turki,Irani, uzbek,afghan,mughal etc. too many hi dus writers on this. Some time it feels pakistan only think of india. It is not ok and wrong. Mr.Alisahib thank you thinking , thank you very much.

Beautiful, Farzana, and thanks for paying attention to the demand that write something that we all can enjoy irrespective of our religion, country etc...

Yes, one never experiences the same joy of celebrating a festival when one grows older. For me, I try to find joy when I see my child or his friends are having fun or when the guests enjoy a well-cooked meal, very mundane I suppose. Yes, there are injustices in this world and I try not to think about it during the celebration as I do not have any way of removing it. Rather, I can minimize it by being good to my family, friends, maids, neighbours. Surely, one can do that although some time it may be very taxing.

Happy Dewali to all of you.

i don`t know farzana, i think this kind of emotional distance is possible only if you`ve had too much of it. me, i miss celebrating eid and diwali and christmas with my family, most of which has moved abroad. and every season is a time for bittersweet memories, if i had known how far apart my family would one day be, i think i would have been a happier/kinder person when it came down to celebrating these festivals. i`d probably not spend as much time lecturing my cousins on the silly nature of rituals and more time enjoying myself with edhi, patakhas, rang, and the santa maamo

but every person has a different experience.