Tattoo diary: Queens, New York

scout #132 Thanks for jumping to my defense :-) It is interesting the things one gets called on chowk!!

re: spout

{{due to some pressure from fellow Chowkies, i`m trying to be nice and act all ``grown up`` with you, and this is what you have to say.}}

...why? but that`s unnatural...

{{don`t push your luck pumpkin}}

dear, you ain`t gonna scare me with that...

re: binifer

{{ Nope. Too much of a coincidence you saxxy thing. Post right after yours with the same thing highlighted in the EXACT SAME WAY!! Wahee dots, wahee brackets.}}

it is called cut-n-paste, which is what ali2 did....khair, agar vishwas nahi, tau jaane do...if you wanna believe i`m ali2, go right ahead...

oh and ali2 has responded as well...

still ready to accept your apology...saying sorry koi sharam ki baat nahi...

Ali2 #130, ``Tahmed is a silly henpecked old fool , who whistles when he talk ...Hence the need for him to log into chowk and dish out advice to

anonymous people.``

what did he ever do to you? leave him alone

Listen Binifer Batliwala..Let me settle this once for all...I copied Rsaxena`s post and added my note at the end..

Why do people deny me my identity ..First I was the pardoy of ali1 and now ..Rsexena?

IAM ALI2!!!

Grow up!

Nope. Too much of a coincidence you saxxy thing. Post right after yours with the same thing highlighted in the EXACT SAME WAY!! Wahee dots, wahee brackets. Shakal par chae tau nahin likha hooa na

(ready to accept your apology)

khwaabon maeN bitya :)

{{What was the great emergency that you HAD to

reply immediately?Please rest assured the world

would have continued with/without your prompt action:}}

Tahmed is a silly henpecked old fool , who whistles when he talk ...Hence the need for him to log into chowk and dish out advice to anonymous people.

raveena #125, ``but i fear it is only temporary``

due to some pressure from fellow Chowkies, i`m trying to be nice and act all ``grown up`` with you, and this is what you have to say.

don`t push your luck pumpkin

Banjara #126 For once I agree with you.

Tahmed321#122

``(it was written in haste since I had to go out with my wife at the time and she was already in the car...).``

What was the great emergency that you HAD to

reply immediately?Please rest assured the world

would have continued with/without your prompt action:)

Take care.

re: spout

{{though i commend you for trying, that assumption is a bit far fetched.}}

gracias...finally you show some signs of intelligence after so many months (but i fear it is only temporary)

re: binifer

{{Jhoot boling with me? Ali2 is you. You call Ali1 an eunch and so has he, your new handle Ali2. Hota hae beta, humn sab stupid cheezain kartae hain. Aap upar sae tau nahin aye hain. Laikin admit karlaena baree achee baat hoti hae.}}

hum bhi stupid cheezain kartae hain, but this isn`t one of them...aunty, there are many people on chowk who refer to this aamir idiot as 12-head...are they all the same person then?...this eunuch business came about when some south indian chowkie pointed out that ali means eunuch in tamil...nothing that RSaxena made up, or exclusively uses...oof, i don`t know why safaai pesh kar raha hoon to you...

{Love,}}

yes lotsa love to you too...ready to accept your apology...

Wow a post from Anny without references to teddies and tweeties and special online relationships and munchkins...

Somebody is growing up.

anNy #121 I am sorry that my previous post was so badly written (it was written in haste since I had to go out with my wife at the time and she was already in the car...). So I am glad you were able to decipher the question about ``our chap`` ali1 and good enough to explain it.

The first part of my post was simply indecipherable(among other things, I missed putting some quote marks). Sorry about that. Anyway, I was basically agreeing with you on the point concerning references to people`s mothers and sisters (or gods or prophets or whatever). Such references require much less intelligence than ali1 possesses, in my view. Furthermore, they are not funny, whereas he does have humor that we cannot have enough of on chowk.

tahmedsaab:

``You say ali1 is one of your ppl. I am curious as to which people you mean - like is he a cousin, or from the same ``community`` of some kind, or ``just`` a fellow chowkie.``

one of my ppl meaning someone i can often relate to and am fond of..like yourself:) in ali`s case, i understand where the anger/ ridicule/ contempt is coming from and often experience it myself..i just dont agree with his way of expressing it or relieving it..but when he`s not being insanely ugly vulgar, he`s crazy funny ;)..i didnt quite get the first part of your post but if u are asking why only the insults towards the ladies upset me, then i think its because i come from a place where women are treated with great respect, wherever they might be from and this blatant disregard for the same on chowk is very sickening and often strange..can u imagine speaking about someones MOM like that and then having to read all these things about your own? i reiterate, they both need to kill themselves

anNy #110 It is intriguing to think why it is mothers and sisters to whom references are made when someone whose humor does not go beyond insults to others, and not fathers and brothers. You say ali1 is one of your ppl. I am curious as to which people you mean - like is he a cousin, or from the same ``community`` of some kind, or ``just`` a fellow chowkie.

If ali1 is reading this, my plea is to take it easy with hindus and Indians and people`s female relatives and so forth since then the discussion quickly goes down the drain. I think he can go better than that. If he must insult any group of people, I guess he can go after us panjabis (what the heck, if our sikh brothers can take all the jokes about them with a laugh, why not us across the border). Or best yet, use his humor against himself and whatever community he thinks he belongs to (that way no one gets hurt, and people will recognize his genius and stand up and applaud every time he sends in a post).

Saxxy thing

Jhoot boling with me? Ali2 is you. You call Ali1 an eunch and so has he, your new handle Ali2. Hota hae beta, humn sab stupid cheezain kartae hain. Aap upar sae tau nahin aye hain. Laikin admit karlaena baree achee baat hoti hae.

Love,

Aunty Binifer, challo run now and come back with something witty and low to prove your innocence.

binifer #114,

though i commend you for trying, that assumption is a bit far fetched.

re: binifer

{{Kitnae handles banao gae? Aur agar banna nae hee hain, be a little careful. Note the er.. exact similarity in your post and the one following it i.e. Ali2`s post. Sharam bilkul nahin aatee?}}

....aunty, kis baat ki sharam? believe it or not, of all my machinations on chowk, creating multiple handles isn`t one of them...sharam aap ko aanee chahiye...vaisay, i`m flattered ki you`d think i have the creativity to deliver the jawbreakers ali2 (whoever it is) is delivering...

Saxena

Kitnae handles banao gae? Aur agar banna nae hee hain, be a little careful. Note the er.. exact similarity in your post and the one following it i.e. Ali2`s post. Sharam bilkul nahin aatee?

Ali2

{{..u have heard about how i break faces when i get upset sweetumnz?}}

RSaxena

{{..u have heard about how i break faces when i get upset sweetumnz?}}

Re Anny

{{..u have heard about how i break faces when i get upset sweetumnz?}}

The only thing she breaks is wind.

re: anNy

{{..u have heard about how i break faces when i get upset sweetumnz?}}

right, whatever...

ali1 is an eunuch who eats goat biryani for breakfast.

tahmedsaab! he`s still funny...the mum insults just got me very angry...why dont these morons talk about their dads? or brothers and uncles for that matter? why mothers and sisters? bohat ghandi baat hae and the really really sad part is they think theyre being these heroes by one upping each other

akash doll, buugger off will ya? dont know what ure talking bout cupcakes..stuka is as big a gadha as ali1...and pls remember ali1 is one of my ppl, and im lil sensitive to ppl saying nasty things about my ppl and especially when theyre fokat mae jumping in..u have heard about how i break faces when i get upset sweetumnz?

Akash #107 ``ali who usually badmouths entire Hindu community`` You think you have it bad? Watch him badmouth the entire Panjabi community, and not just the present generation but all previous generations as well. And watch him go after the mullahs and how certain parts of their body are itching for a tomahawk. ali1 is a terrorist brigade all by himself.

But seriously, I dont know what turned anNy off, thereby causing the ali1 to lose the last person on chowk who thought his humor was funny, but I am sure it was good reason. Ali1 sahib, maybe you need to do some deep thinking about your outlook on life and other people. Dont let the anonymous handle fool you - you are demonstrating your character to yourself here, and that ultimately counts much more towards success in life than whatever reputation you have in real life.

re: Akash # 107

Read # 106 and determine for yourself if your criticism has legs.

Akash, there are very few people who actually try to rise above their own little corner of the earth. Don`t dismiss them so easily. May be we ourselves can learn a thing or two.

anNy

I would be the last person to defend stuka, he can do that rather effectively. But there is a difference between ali and stuka. Stuka has already declared that his jihad is against one and one person only unlike ali who usually badmouths entire Hindu community. Secondly, even in the worst cases, stuka has chosen not to give ali back in his coin over religious matters. He probably could also have made fun of Prophet just as easily as ali makes it almost a point to insult Hindu religious figures. But no, ali is a witty kid gone awry for you, apni aankhon ka shahteer hai, kaise dikhega.

ali1:

``Please realize that ali1 is an anonymous internet handle, not a real person.``

on the contrary mr. rajput; ali1 is a human being who eats, sleeps, walks and as we see, swears...if he chooses to talk bad things at a public forum that is sacred to some, fun to others and an escape to many and then he also talks bad things about relationships sacred to the many, then i have every right to proclaim on this very public forum that i lose any/all respect i had for him..what he would have to say about that is then, irrelevent

``Obscenity and obnoxiousness are in the eye of the reader.``

being vulgar and then defending it is a sad thing ali...be ashamed

Reply # 96 anNy

[any respect i had for stuka`s otherwise intelligent posts and ali`s obvious wit and intelligence, has gone flying out the window...they both are sick mental ugly human beings who are a big fat dhabba on whichever nationality, religion and sect they belong to..]

anNy,

chowk is a place to express your opinions, provided the form and content is acceptable to chowk editors. If there ever was a popularity contest on chowk, sorry, I missed it.

Obscenity and obnoxiousness are in the eye of the reader. For example, mother f--ker and its various vairants are abundantly used in chowk interacts and no one including chowk editors raise an eyebrow. However, they deemed its Urdu/Punjabi equivalent so offensive that they went through the trouble of removing already posted interacts on this board!!

[everyone get together and pray stuka`s daughter falls in love with ali`s son]

Relax anNy. Please realize that ali1 is an anonymous internet handle, not a real person.

Rsaxena/Stuka,

If you call the pig a `Goat` doesn`t make the meat Halal. Get it? I don`t think I need an Ivy League education to decipher that.

Your country is home to a God obsessed, superstitious nation. There is 1 god to every 35 people in your country. Since time immemorial your people have been fooled sometimes in the name of `Ahimsa`, sometimes `satyagraha` sometimes `Ram Rajya` and sometimes `Hindu Nationalism` or Hinduvta. I am sorry `secular` is not the first thing that comes to my mind.

Love

YLH

pullu, mona, layman

you`re right it was BaatoN BaatoN MeiN that Ranjit Chowdry was in ... get those Amol Parlekar movies mixed up ... but I think he was great in ``Lonely in America`` - if you find it anywhere (i rented it from blockbusters) do see it ...

pullu, mona, layman

you`re right it was BaatoN BaatoN MeiN that Ranjit Chowdry was in ... get those Amol Parlekar movies mixed up ... but I think he was great in ``Lonely in America`` - if you find it anywhere (i rented it from blockbusters) do see it ...

Layman #96 Good, good. How many desis does it take to run a motel? Correct answer on the immigration form: 100. 1 to book customers, and 99 to ring up the cash register.

mona and roohi,

The movie with the song, ``Uthe sabke kadam..``

is ``Baaton Baaton mein``. A beautiful movie, though my personal favourite is the title song.

Golmal had the song, ``Aaney wala pal..``

You could also think of the song, ``Thoda hai thodey ki zaroorat hai..`` from Khatta-Meetha to fall in the same category.

pullu

monasehgal #95, roohi #89:

It was `Baaton Baaton Mein`.

Sorry for the unrelated post, folks, but someone sent me this take-off on the desi hit Hotel California:

On a dark crowded highway

brylcreem in my hair

warm smell of parathas

rising up through the air



Up ahead in the distance

I saw a shimmering light

my eyes grew dim and my head grew light

I had to stop for the night



There they stood in the doorway

they were desis you could tell

I got out fearfully

saying this will surely be hell



All around us were buildings

Sun, SGI and Dell

I slowly unloaded my things

In the shadows of Intel



And still those parking lots were

full of Hondas

waiting up in the middle of the night

to be driven home by programers



Welcome to the town of Sunnyvale

such a desi place, such a crazy place

we`re livin` it up in the town of Sunnyvale

such a nice surprise, so many people with no lives



My heartstrings were twisted

I wanted to feel at home

where thousands of desis existed

and no white man dared roam



Sambar stains on the ceilings

mango lassis on ice

sit and watch the paint peeling

or make daal and boil rice



But my mind revolted

at the very thought

I grabbed my bag and bolted

I`d escape no matter what



And still those voices are calling from far away

wake you up in the middle of the night

just you can hear them say



Welcome to the town of Sunnyvale

such a desi place, such a crazy place

we`re livin` it up in the town of Sunnyvale

such a nice surprise, so many people with no lives



I wake up in a cold sweat

thank god it was a dream

there is no need to fret

I still live in the east

Oh, I still live in the east.

Rsaxena

Ref: stuka and ali

any respect i had for stuka`s otherwise intelligent posts and ali`s obvious wit and intelligence, has gone flying out the window...they both are sick mental ugly human beings who are a big fat dhabba on whichever nationality, religion and sect they belong to..

everyone get together and pray stuka`s daughter falls in love with ali`s son or the other way round and that they run away from their manhoos parents and have the cutest little babies ever who grow up to be lovely human beings inspite of their ugly, vulgar grandparents genes..that will be divine justice

roohi # 89

Ranjit wasn`t a guitar strumming youth in Golmal singing ``Uthe sub ke kadam``. That was some other movie. Can`t remeber the name right now. It had Tina Munim and Amol Palekar cast in the lead. Golmal had Bindiya, Amol Palekar and Utpal Dutt.

Mona

Stuka and Ali,

did you guys play in cesspools together as kids?

hasn`t this maa-bahen thing gone far enough? move on to fathers and brothers please.

Ali#1

``As for my exchanges with Stuka, had the best of my ``humor`` been posted by chowk editors, Stuka would have hung himself with one of the chastity belts lying in his house.``

Wah wah, since no one else is praising you, u indulge in self praise. Bhai, hum to waisey he haraami hain, jitni gaali dey do. But I do know this, a musla`s ass burns much faster upon religion than a Hindu`s. Why don`t you display some humor by writng about Hanuman the Monkey god and his sexploits with Sita. And I will write about the orgy of Mohammaed, Jinnah and a couple of Camels. Let`s see who has the last laugh.

BTW, I actually do have a couple of chastity belts lying around. I use them to whip your mom into shape when she starts acting up.

:)

Subroto #82,

not just the comedies, i`m talking about the documentary type of films which left you thinking, no fluff or glamourization.

I saw Monsoon Wedding this weekend and thought it very enjoyable. Esp the soundtrack!! There is an article on arranged marraiges in India Today - havent read the details yet but looks interesting. Has anyone read it??

rehan may i?


RANDOM MONKEY THOUGHTS


---Not every monkey evolved into…
---If monkeys could ‘evolve’ can man ‘de-volve’
---Most monkeys appear observant: most men don’t
---Monkeys adhere to their pecking order: men don’t
---When their hands are stuck in the cookie jar they do not call 911 or their lawyers
---They do not marry: once, twice, thrice…
---They can swing with their tails: men cannot
---Obviously am bored: can’t tell if monkeys ever are…

Subroto #82

Talking of Golmal has anyone seen ``Lonely in America`` - it has Ranjit Chowdhry from Golmal in it - and though not free from stereotypes and a bit dated now (it came out in 1991) it is still the best mainstream desi-american movie i`ve seen. In golmal Ranjit was the guitar strumming younger brother who sang ``uthe sab ke kadam`` :-)

Stuka,

Chowk censors saved the entire khatri clan, lucky you!

Chowk staff, instead of selectively nixing sentences from my posts, please consider discarding the whole post if you think its inappropriate.

Reply # 78 veeresh

[Dear Stuka . . . Ali1 had and has already lost credibility with interactors of both sides, so it really doesn`t matter what he says anymore.]

Funny you talk of credibility veeresh. Remember the day Quran was burnt in Delhi? A certain mofo swore by his mother`s ashes that he has been out in the city, and has talked to the police and to the high and mighty of the city, and that no such incident had taken place? (How could it, in secular India?) And then someone posted the URL of the incident actually taking place.

Remember who that person was veeresh? care commenting on HIS credibility?

As for the interactors on chowk, I frankly dont give a flying guck to the hypocrites who enjoy SameerJB`s sick sense of humor and consider him the greatest Punjabi since the one-eyed bustard.

As for my exchanges with Stuka, had the best of my ``humor`` been posted by chowk editors, Stuka would have hung himself with one of the chastity belts lying in his house.

...mittarsaab, khi`s short for karachi....

Reply # 53 Stuka

[mohajirs are not exactly known for their masculinity are they??]

So you don`t know who broke the chastity belt? Any you guys suspected the chamars all along?

Re Scout # 80

Well a lot of filmmakers have realised that there is a Non resident desi market out there and have decided to cater to it (just take K3G as an example) but you did bring some good memories when you talked about those movies from the 80`s. IMHO some of the best comedies came from this period, i.e. Golmal, Damaad, Katha, Angoor, Chashme Badoor. All the Amol Palekar, Utpal Datt, Dipti Naval, Farooque Sheikh movies with gentle humour and no crudity which kept you chuckling all along.

re: Veeresh

{{Dear Stuka . . . Ali1 had and has already lost credibility with interactors of both sides, so it really doesn`t matter what he says anymore.}}

veeresh uncle you are mistaken there...to name one, anNy, highly `respects` Ali1`s contributions to chowk...so let`s not presume...if stuka wants to sock it to that eunuch, as do i, nothing wrong with it...immature? yes...wrong?..i`m not sure..

Subroto #79,

to tell you the truth, i think the real reason why i have a negative attitude towards such desi movies is their desperate attempts at pleasing the West.

someone tell those fine directors and producers that it`s ok to script a good movie in pure Hindi or Urdu or Gujrati with purely desi issues, and not fall into the trap of ``pleasing Western cinema critics`` with Anglo-Indian culture bull$hit.

i still miss those wonderful issue oriented, purely desi, Om Puri, Deepti Naval, Naseeruddin Shah, Shabana Azmi movies from the eighties.

Even Pakistani serials these days are turning ``Angraizi.``

it`s pathetic.

Re Scout #51

Its like this I went back to India after 4 years, couldn`t get the time to watch Monsoon Wedding, came back and then saw it. The film is fun. As they say Meera Nair’s target audiences were NRI’s who would feel nostalgic while viewing this movie. I did as it was set in ``sadde dilli``. It also touch upon child abuse, pre marital affairs, sex at adolescence, rich versus poor(yep I loved the maid servant & wedding contractor part too). It gives an insight into an India which is not seen otherwise - why do award winning Indian movies have to be about poverty only? I am not saying it`s Oscar winning material, just that I feel it might have been a better choice than Lagaan, after all it did win the award for Best Picture at the 58th Venice Film Festival. Incidentally this made it the first time that India or a woman has won the top prize at the world`s oldest film festival in Venice.

Re Dost Mittar #55 I did miss watching Bawander too (damm both the movies were a walk away from my house). But I believe there has been some controversy about this movie - the lady at the heart of the incident portrayed in the movie says that the filmmakers did not take her permission (the film makers say that they have not only payed her but set up a trust fund). The actual character involved was a 55 year old Sathin in Rajasthan - Bhanwari Devi - portrayed by a much younger Nandita Das. While it may be a good movie how much of it is true to the real story?

Apart from that all I need to say that being away from India and not getting to watch Hindi Movies regularly (in a hall not video) has changed my tastes - I am now willing to watch hero/heroine and a few thousand extras gyrate to any tasteless song. Heck ab to appun ko Govinda/David Dhawan ki picture dekhna ko mangta.

Dear Stuka . . . Ali1 had and has already lost credibility with interactors of both sides, so it really doesn`t matter what he says anymore. Either of two things happen to people taking extreme positions on a voluntary named / anonymous board like chowk:-

a) Either they start understanding and then onwards get slightly more mature, usually undera new handle.

b) Or they get bored with the lack of attention and then blow away like dust in the wind.

How about an article or research on the common traits of people dying on our borders? Initial research by me does show that Indian now seems to be losing more educated middle class while Pakistan seems to be losing more ``illiterate unwashed masses``. This is also because it does seem as though India has a wider middle class . . . there is also some indication that the officer class in Pakistan is more barrack and dhandaa based (wider options in civil life apparently). (I say this on the basis of inputs and not with any motive, please.)

It would be interesting to know what the Pakistanis think about this? If Pakistani blood is cheaper than Indian blood (on a simple per capita basis) then any guesses on wherewe are headed??

Veeresh:

I really feel bad about this. Unfortunately, I am now bound by my word. I had sworn to Ali #1, a few months back, that if he did not desist, I would follow him from board to board, insulting everything that he comes from and stands for.

He didn`t, and so I do...

I have been doing this diligently for a few months. I really don`t see a way out because he will not stop, and one cannot just sit back and take abuse. Eenth ka jawab pathar sey, aur gaali ka gaali sey.

Thank you for referring to my non Ali focused posts as thought provoking. On other matters, I will be on my best behaviour.

Dear Stuka . . .

I will, on behalf of a few others, request you to stop stooping so low. It doesn`t suit your style or your handle. Your interacts in the past used to be very thought-provoking.

sincerely,

Veeresh

Rehan..I think it`s awesome that you`re teaching a class on cinema...I second what Samina said, if there`s anything I can do to help, let me know! It sounds interesting..and if I wasn`t trapped in you know where...I`d want to be there, with you as ustaadji :)

Truth: I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I`m curious as to what made you think Lagaan is a god-awful movie. It`s definitely not the greatest movie made in the world (I`ve yet to come across that). But I thought it gave us a story that had multiple layers to it, and a response to a struggle that actually was happening in the India of that time.

I don`t think the movie reduces what poor farmers had to suffer through. As for its authenticity, since when have movies, historical or not ever relied on total authenticity?! But if this movie could do anything, and I think it does, it opens eyes to a people`s history that has not gotten much attention before, or has been lost. And it`s for this, in my humble opinion, that I feel that Lagaan deserves the accolades that it gets, and that it is deserving of being nominated for an Oscar.

With apologies and hopes that I haven`t turned this into a Lagaan-centered board..Ana :)

Ali #1:

``[What about the Mohajirs? The ones in Karachi? Do their mothers actually have dicks?]

No. ``

How do you know? Did your mom show you what she has down there, so you could make sure?

Ali # 1 :

`` No wonder you dad buys chastity belts by the dozen.......... but we still have you.``

And how would you know what my dad buys and does not? Abey chakkey suar kee aulad, budhe aadmiyon pey to tharakna chod dey.

rehan

no i havent but have you thought that taht mustve been the steam from teh pressure buildup in the brain cavity : ) impairs clear thinking !!

but hey sounds like fun !!

Starbuck/Aamir

``Ar you also ``negotiating sexuality ````

If a male interactor takes on the nicks of women, aren`t they ``also `negotiating sexuality```?????!!!!??!?!?!?!??!?!!!!??

Shouldn`t you either be 1. making lots and lots of coffee right now, 2. Checking on your spaceship? Arre, wait a minute; you don`t happen to have some abducted Chowkies on it, do you?????????????????

Rehan,

Don`t know if I can be of much help, but if theres anything I can do, let me know. Also, I`d love to take your class. Keep me apprised of the details? saminasha@aol.com

Ana,

Its hilarious and endearing how Westerners have stopped trying to classify South Asianess- I`m thinking of Sara Sulieri`s critique of colonialist England`s unravelling attempts to classify, name and know various Indian ethnic groups by skin color, clothing, etc...when the very diversity of our cultures defy classification...as for mod. pop, its the same all over the world-an unbeliveable and dense polyglot of cultural references and reference points. Whats going on in South Asian pop can somewhat be compared to Alternative Latin Rock; I`m thinking of bands that incorporate and hybridize a number of Western, African and Latin influences...so its quite possible for a song to switch back and forth from several genres in the span of 5 minutes...

``In my opinion, the Oscar nomination should have gone to another movie I recently saw on video, `Bawander` (Sand Storm) with Nandita Das. I found the film flawless and superior to Lagaan, but I understand it has been having problem finding theatres for exhibition in India. I am thinking of writing a review of it for Chowk.``

...mittarsaab, this movie had its premiere at the karavan film festival in khi, and both nandita and the director were there to promote it...haven`t seen it as yet, but hear that it`s worth watching even if a bit banal...

Lagaan is a god-awful movie. That it gets nominated for an Oscar shows that civilization rests on pillars in quicksand.

Drumz #153 While ganja (a concentrated form of marijuana, as I understand) may well lie beyond the field of right and wrong as you and brother Rumi say, it certainly lies in the middle of the field of bad health. Read, in the name of thy Lord, the following URL and mend thine evil ways, O reckless youth!!

http://www.health.org/reality/

You are better off examining female anatomy with the help of the Playboy Textbook as Zafar suggests. Wont land you in an ER unless you get carried away with your fantasies and sexually assault the vacuum cleaner.

check out today`s NPR all things considered archives [2/21/02] where there is a review of mira Nair`s latest play, Monsoon wedding.

I`ve been wanting to watch ``Bawandar`` for a long time now..especially since Nandita Das is in it.

Samina, I remember showing part of a Hindi movie as part of a presentation in class, and my instructor was just so struck by the richness of the particular scene. I tend to agree somewhat with your Jewish-American friend about South Asian music...particularly the older stuff. I suppose it does fill a void...I personally have been more ambivalent about the medium in recent years, but I`m going out to the theaters and watching new movies again.

Public television is showing a Hispanic series these days..and in all the years that I`ve been watching American television, I`ve never seen a show representing a Hispanic family, and representing them positively. I`m really hoping that there will be more representations of South Asians, not the occasional cabbiewallah or Sirajul and Mujibur in David Letterman of years past. Perhaps we can have a dramatic serial that will not necessarily follow the same pattern that the ones on Zee television or TV Asia....

Also, let me tell you how many of my university colleagues LOVE Indian videos and movies in terms of the richness, multiple realities and cultural representations, (and the diversities of beauty)and the negotiation of influences in the music; one Jewish American poet friend describes South Asian music as fun, soulful, moving and inexplicably sad....any comments? (But then, we are both big fans of Asian cinema) Perhaps these videos and movies are what fills the void...

Aamir

me and fight?? never! I am as they say sugar-coated twice over : )

re negotiating .. - all the time.

Just kidding here, but of late have been thinking about it. I think everyone swings both ways some choose to follow their instinct some just bury it.

Drumz #141 ``Acid victims, rape victims and the like have a right to be upset and sensitive, but not someone who`s caught feelings on an internet message board.``

Good advice.

you continue ``And yes ganja also teaches people how to remain calm and to focus on the present (not carry grudges) and to not center themselves around the opinions of others...``

Really, really bad advice. Same results can be achieved by serenely reflection upon things (if you wish, you can adopt a Buddha pose while serenely reflecting), thus becoming a truly liberated man - free of the need for ganja to be calm and grudge-free and able to tell right from wrong.

anNy rehan

ankles - yes very pretty but safe. It has to be a bit more exciting than that !

chotu - i hear you. It brings to mind teh dentist drill - so even i sit and dream but havent gotten one : )

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Rehan, Ana, Roohi

The South Asian experience represented in mass media is as scarce as the Asian presence-not much. My Mamu Jan knows That Pakistani Actor, you know, the one who plays us in tiny Desi roles from Doctor to Cabbie-and nothing in between, in the US that is. He`s a very nice person and all, and you``ve got to hand to him and all our South Asian and Asian bros and sisters...

Also, let me tell you how many of my university colleagues LOVE Indian videos and movies in terms of the richness, multiple realities and cultural representations, (and the diversities of beauty)and the negotiation of influences in the music; one Jewish American poet friend describes South Asian music as fun, soulful, moving and inexplicably sad....any comments? (But then, we are both big fans of Asian cinema) Perhaps these videos and movies are what fills the void...

Mehndi/ink tattoos on the blade of the back, just beneath the shoulder...but then my Austrailian friend has one on her hip bone-and its solely for her and her husband. Can`t argue with that....

roohi

I agree with scout about Monsoon Wedding. I won`t say its boring or anything, in fact, it is a total time pass movie. But Oscar or any other awards, I doubt. Can`t say anything about Lagaan. Haven`t seen it.

Mona

Re: Temporal # 52

Welcome back! Chowk was missing its venerable sage of sarcasm!

Yes; but I think that problem in Pakistan is that there is no political tolerance, because of the last 20 years of political power plays. Pakistan is polarized in the sense that the groups, which thrived on absolut (pun intended) power do want to share it.

Ciao

tahmed321 #50 and ras siddiqui:

…I have a feeling the dec 13 attack on the indian parliament, the shifting of venue for pakistan west indies test matches, kidnapping and murder of daniel pearl and the resumption of targetted killing of shia professionals in karachi can be better understood in the light of an on going turf battle between the coalition of hardliners and moderates in pakistan (for lack of a better word)…it is not entirely the ‘curse of mullahs’ as you say…there are various other factors involved including our apathy..let us not forget that…(where is ferozk?)...

…advice caution to you friend till the dust settles down…

…rehan…been some time bud…how are you?…the mehndi tattoos are the best…like old soldiers!…and like that dictum in real estate…location, ,location, location!

regards all..

t

Ras Siddiqui: Daniel Pearl`s death is indeed sad. From the pictures, he seems to have been a kind and gentle soul, smiling bravely even in captivity. The thugs that killed him did not even have pity on his young wife`s pleas and his unborn child. May God bless his soul.

Just this afternoon, a friend of mine from Karachi (a globe-trotting IT specialist) told me that he would like to go work in Pakistan next, except that he is a shia and the mullahs are targetting shia professionals for some reason. May God lift the curse of the mullahs that has descended upon us.

Subroto #47, ``Yep saw Monsoon Wedding last week and feel it should have been India`s entry at Oscars rather than Laagan.``

are you kidding me? i don`t know about Lagaan (didn`t see it), but ``Monsoon Wedding`` was a horrible, cliched, ugly looking movie. it was a lot of taboo subject material thrown together into a big messy, sloppy piece of cinematographic trash. the ending with a gorgeous model coming and making googly eyes at the sexually abused underdog female was a bit too childish and typical of desi movies.

the only good part about it was the subplot lovestory of the poor wedding planner and the household maid. take the rest of the movie out and explore those two characters more and maybe you have a winner.

i`m sorry to say this, but desis haven`t reached Oscar status yet. <

MT #116 you ask ``Would any chowkie from Pakistan care to explain caste in Pakistan ?``

There are two castes in Pakistan. These are (a) the MT caste and (b) the non-MT (aka the ``FULL``) caste.

The MT caste asks MT questions, i.e. questions that are driven not be a sincere interest in learning but by a sincere interest in putting down other nationalities, communities etc, and passes MT comments. The Full Caste does not ask MT questions or engage in any other such MT rhetoric.

Hope this helps.

ylh #113 you write ``... I`d rather save Pakistani Women from getting gang raped than worry about Indian Muslims...``

Well said. I am glad there are people in Pakistan who are speaking out in newspapers and other places against the appalling jirga-sanctioned gang rape (where some of the ``judges`` themselves then proceeded to administer the punishment) and the terrible stone-killing of this poor man because some damned imam ordered it.

These terrible deeds are a result of the evil that has been created in Pakistan through shameless abuse of the name of Islam by Zia who introduced the hadood and blasphemy laws. These evil laws were imposed on Pakistan by a military dictator, and these should be revoked by a military dictator as well. If this is not done, future generations of Pakistanis will look upon these times as the ``dark ages`` in Pakistan, when evil men ruled and raped the country, literally and figuratively.

ana,

Thanks for the feedback on Monsoon Wedding - I guess it`s worth a trip to the Indian Store then. Look forward to seeing it.

Has anyone (specially you guys in silicon valley) seen Bugaboo ? I heard a lot about it a while ago but somehow it never made it out here ...

Shocking about that poor man Daniel Pearl - like Ras said, it`s a sad day.

Re Roohi #34

Yep saw Monsoon Wedding last week and feel it should have been India`s entry at Oscars rather than Laagan. Its a lovely movie to watch (esp. if you are from Delhi) and its something most people can relate to, re the whole Shaadi/Byah chakkar. The movie has a number of subplots apart from the main wedding arrangement which are all neatly interwoven together by Mira Nair.

Its a much more realistic movie than Lagaan and shows a face of India different from what normally other nominated movies from India show, viz the poverty.

Unfortunately I couldn`t watch the movie in a hall when I was in Delhi this Dec, but had to watch in it in Oz on the video :-(

And my other reason for liking it is cos a cousin has acted in it.

aicha ``Tattoos - i think a tattoo in the right spot - at the base of your neck - is damn sexy !! People are always yapping about this and taht and taht and this - so why worry what they will say !! ``

Quite true. I`m not into getting a tattoo myself, because its permanent and will probably outlive my novelty for it. However from an appreciative stance, a tattoo on the lower back is a big turn on.

aicha:

i think just by the ankle looks really cool!

The only people interested in media desis are other media desis like yourself. Perhaps the frustration you speak of is mutual.

Daniel Pearl is dead: WSJ

A very sad day for all human beings that wish
for a better tomorrow. I hope that the SOB`s
who did this are paid in the same coin.

A sad day for U.S.-Pakistan relations

Ras Siddiqui

Roohi...I saw `Monsoon Wedding` and was somewhat disappointed that it didn`t receive Oscar consideration. Good movie. Since I haven`t seen Lagaan (am renting the video tonight), I can`t say who deserved more. I`m not from Delhi, but it was definitely more than just a backdrop, which I appreciated immensely.

My last reply received the censorial silencing it seems...oh well. That`ll teach me to borrow from Hindi filmi gaane again! :-D

Re: ylh

{{Why are you so obsessed with me?}}

because you are the coolest guy since Mr. T from the A-Team

re: stuka

{{Didn`t know Jinnah created Pakistan from Nepal, the only Hindu state I know of. YLH dude, just as you say Indians should visit Pakistan and look at the many different Pakistans that exist, so should you travel to India to judge for yourself. How can you judge a country by the posts put by anonymous posters.}}

...who cares what some delusional kid from rutgers (Ivy League!!!) thinks of india...just learned that india is McKinsey`s fastest growing market...that`s pretty nice...and with the recent increase in pace of privatization, india`s gonna edge up that growth rate quite nicely...the faster we move ahead, the more pakis like ylh look like clowns...

{{If you are too busy to travel to India, you should accept mine and Rsaxena`s standing invitation to do a bar crawl in NYC/Boston to see the real faces of us Indians.}}

...i don`t think a bar crawl will help this dude...he needs a visit to the coffee shops in amsterdam...

Roohi, Zehra,

Um..Chutney Popcorn was charming in some aspects and a bit pedantic in others...I thought the main character`s friends were funny in a playful way, and the whole role reversal between the main character and her sis was interesting...and I have to say, it does a better job in representing women negotiating sexuality than a lot of the misogynistic stereotypes our desi bros are putting out...man eaters, man haters, etc.

Akash .. whatever my upbringing... I know it very well, and thank God for it. Atleast I am not a naive little kid like you who believes every lie your elders like `the uncle educated in nehru`s time` Mr.Harimau tells you.

Eik to I am really sick of explaining myself. For the last time, I think Pakistan is part of South Asia and that is undeniable fact (hence my efforts at Rutgers to get PSA involved in the South Asian Unity Show) ... but what pisses me off is the fact that there are south Asian-ists who promote South Asian Identity at the expense of Pakistan.

Pakistan, India and others are in the stages of National development which Most of Western Europe including the Iberian Peninsula reached in the 15th century when France was ruled by Louis the 11th, and Spain was being consolidated under Ferdinand and Isabella, and Portugal was being developed as a Nation-state and the idea of ONE christendom had recently been defeated. England amazingly had reached this state in the 11th century under William the Conqueror and later Richard Lion Heart and his Brother King John.

Our problem is that we were unified under false pretences... `Ottoman Khilafat`, `Mughal Empire`, `British india`.. we only got rid of all these what ... 55 years ago? First will come National development, then true democracy, and then we can think of an Asian Union of Sovereign Asian States.

Tattoos - i think a tattoo in the right spot - at the base of your neck - is damn sexy !! People are always yapping about this and taht and taht and this - so why worry what they will say !!

Zehra,

You`re right those bits were really lame ...

By the way has anyone seen Monsoon Wedding yet ? Did you think it deserved to go to the Oscars instead of Lagaan ? I`m hoping it`s good since it`s the first movie set in meri Dilli that`s rumoured to be decent after Masoom

Reply # 26 Stuka

[In Delhi they would say... `` Maa da Lun??? Oh, must be the mother of Ali#1 ``]

Please dont assume all mothers to be like your own mother. No wonder you dad buys chastity belts by the dozen.......... but we still have you.

Reply # 26 Stuka

[What about the Mohajirs? The ones in Karachi? Do their mothers actually have dicks?]

No. Quite unlike the khatri moms of dehli.

Everytime someone disses Jinnah,even marginally, YLH comes out to clean up. I am reminded of the following and YLH - so apt (shall give the title at the end). Its as if JInnah needs to be constantly cleaned up after some guy attempts to use him as his verbal piisuer. Jinnah cannot be used as such, and his character and station in History is well protected. Grow up YLH. Fo ryou these lines....you do not have the thekedaari of Jinnah. Oh BTW please get rid of your lil infy complex ...

Slumped on a chair, his body is an S

That wants to be a minus sign.

His face is overripe Wensleydale

Going Blue at the edges.

In overalls of sacredotal white

He guards a row of fonts

With lids like eye-patches. Snapped shut

They are castanets. All day he hears

Short-lived Niagaras, the clank

And gurgle of canescent cisterns.

When evening comes he sluices a thin tide

Across sand-coloured lino.

Turns Medusa on her head

And wipes the floor with her.

Reply rehanhasanansari # 8

“Sarwari: Rehan Ansari needs a life!”

Rehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!! I have already telling y ou to put in glossry and loveintrest and picturexs – naheeN to log na smajh kay khafa hee hoNgay. Aap Hello Magazine koh model jaysah rakhiyay…(maiN nay aap koh kub say bataya kay yey chowk hay, mensa vensa jaisee jagah nahiN, so thinking please of densa whgn you are wrting, ok…) do not angry, I am fiend. Bestwu shes to you and also to Ayeshah. Y ou are hawing my sypathy.

(Ayeshah, let me advice yu: ask specfic question about word yo do don’t undersand. Tha tis ok.)

Shabash ylh bete, now you are showing your true upbringing. Are you sure you do not share the Mohalla with beta Ali. Dont mind all the prudes here. Feel free to announce your unsolicited relations to South Asia(female gender) or Indians. Afterall, no decent Indian would want to be called a South Asian if that means sharing platform with the likes of you. Good going, ylh

roohi,
please yaar chutney popcorn was so
bad...there could have been 75% less shots of
nisha riding around on her motorbike on the
NJ turnpike looking like a pensive
misunderstood lesbian with hair flying in the
wind, the sunset in the back.

too many henna tattos shots. we get it.

by the way, this is the problem that rehan`s
piece is addressing..that when we see
something written like this, there is a dearth of
mainstream images that we can relate it to.

z. rizvi.

In light of the further elaboration by ali1 #22 to the eloquence previously provided by ylh, I wish to correct my post #17 and make that two chowkies rapidly growing up to become babies. If this is the start of a trend, then Gen. ``Jolly Good`` Vangarathnawhatever need not do anything except wait for Pakistanis to turn into helpless little babies, and then he can simply have his men walk cross the border into Pakistan with strollers and cart `em all away to Kindergarten Prison.

Why am I rambling this??? Maybe I am catching the disease too...maybe I need to find something better to do...

YLH :

``thank God for the man who freed us from a hypocritical Hindu fundamentalist theocracy``

Didn`t know Jinnah created Pakistan from Nepal, the only Hindu state I know of. YLH dude, just as you say Indians should visit Pakistan and look at the many different Pakistans that exist, so should you travel to India to judge for yourself. How can you judge a country by the posts put by anonymous posters.

If you are too busy to travel to India, you should accept mine and Rsaxena`s standing invitation to do a bar crawl in NYC/Boston to see the real faces of us Indians.

Jinnah`s memory is too secure for you to worry about defending him at all times.

``In Peshawar: They do it to the fathers in Peshawar, and I don`t know the Pashto for that.``

What about the Mohajirs? The ones in Karachi? Do their mothers actually have dicks, so it`s not even considered an insult?

Nice cultural lesson here...

In Karachi: ``South Asia ki maaN ko lund``

In Lahore: ``South Asia di maa nu lun``

In Delhi they would say...

`` Maa da Lun??? Oh, must be the mother of Ali#1 ``

As significant as the tattoo itself is its location. Were these tattoos meant to be seen by strangers, to provoke stares or to break the ice?

anNy #16 Good advice. Seems to me YLH is growing younger by the day, and will one day grow to become a fine little baby. All we will get from him on chowk then will be ``goo-goo`` and ``gaa-gaa`` and similar cute baby talk.

Reply # 2 ylh

[``South Asia ki maan ko lun.``]

This shows burger upbringing. A real Pakistani would say it like this:

In Karachi: ``South Asia ki maaN ko lund``

In Lahore: ``South Asia di maa nu lun``

In Rawalpindi: ``South Asia ni mau aaN lun marya``

In Peshawar: They do it to the fathers in Peshawar, and I don`t know the Pashto for that.

Live and learn.

This is what I don`t like about Karachi wallah Tatoos... they wouldn`t survive one minute on the streets of Lahore... where what I have said is the most harmless of all `galis`. I remember in high school crying because one of friends said the same to me, but soon I realize that its an expression atleast in Lahore.

Unlike Karachiwallahs, we don`t go for small insults like `Charia` or `laanti`. So don`t deny me my heritage.

Anny,

Embarrassment I maybe, but fat I am not :)..

you yasser, are an embarassment, besides being a big fat dissapointment...what is passion without an iota of brain cells, tameez and dignity? it is you....get some counselling..i am serious

with all due disrespect

anNy

Rehan,

Jaishri reminds me a little of the character of the young artist in Chutney Popcorn who does henna tatoos for a living and photographs them as art. If you liked ABCD then you`ll like Nisha Ganatra Chutney Popcorn (another NY/NJ desi flick from a couple of years ago) too - it has a little more humour and hope than ABCD but just as much honesty.

Re RSaxena # 7

|groan| Do you have to get him started on Jinnah. Ab hum subko ko lecture sunna padega.

Yours in grief,

Subroto the devious dhoti clad (H)Indian.