From The Table

just fab.

Lost a close relative very recently...somone who went through this tunnel...and never came out. Anyways, excellent work.

shahgul #1:

[… Too good to be wasted on chowk!!!…]

---sheeesh!…and ‘some’ have already accused me of being elitist…you want to explain that comment?…as for being already depressed…perhaps if you read the ‘Primer’ at this url address it may cheer you up somewhat…otherwise I have a used directory of nyc psychiatrists …tested and discarded by woody allen that you may find useful…there is also a home remedy that zafar or roohi described that might work…they mentioned hitting your head on a circle drawn on a stone wall…serious…am not stone walling…but since am a kindler, gentler person…besides…you may hurt yourself irreparably if you do so…will suggest a better alternative…draw the circle on a pillow…and hit the pillow…doncha worry…one way or the other we will cure you of the depression…hey friendly chowkies…can we have some suggestions if her depression does not go away?…swedish chocolates?…trekking in gilgit?…jogging around in khajurao?

http://www.chowk.com/bin/showr.cgi?filename=hnambiar_mar0402&r=10



scout #2:

such?…such such?…really?…thanks…am glad you liked it behna…



semipreciousme #3

[…sends shivers down my spine to think this is how most of us will end up…]

---have it on sound authority from my best zombie friend…worry not…you will not feel a thing…in the immortal words of mahajirzadeh ‘yaara when you’re history you’re history’…whatever they may mean…only the vain and those breathing can experience hurt…ask pigeons doing their things over statutes…of course if the statues could talk they might tell a different version…


sac #4:

[…Whatever it is thanks for a good one….]

sacki bud thank ayesha for this…no fries no table talk!…

…oh the stuff (form and content) that has not seen the light would surprise you…partly the result of reluctance to share…can we label this ‘pppd’ pre-post-partum-depression shahgul?… partly the result of self therapy…have convinced myself that exposure would be harmful…to both the writer and the reader;)


Jawahara #5:

…you are in indiana?…yar you are one restless bird;)…haven’t read anything ‘dark’ by you here so thought why not keep the flame burning…you still write there?…how’s that patel chap?…and ansari?…

rgds and lve,


t

temporal,

This is fine writing.

I like your style.

-h-

T,

That`s capital. You finally broke through. Doesn`t matter when you wrote this. This I think should be your voice. This is your most accomplished piece of work I have read.

There are slight nits. Your overindulgent `I` intrudes occassionally. But above all the staccatto sentencing worked here marvelously.

I think (taking up our long drawn frequently flaring discussion), that it is in your opinion pieces, and sometimes in some of your poems, that you tend to have that ornate quaintly dated language. This one shows up how inside and outside the subject you were. You had no reader in mind perhaps...

In them others...you are outside, carving out the piece. Therefore perhaps...the overindulgence.

Also, a suggestion, if you think the poem at the end is an absolutely must...maybe you should not drop it like a penny in a pond. You could have woven it into the story. This way, I thought it kind of underlined the indulgence I was talking about...:)

Only other nit; only for temporal...:)

Only she was passionate in an impassioned way.

All these are nits after hard, very hard work! I seek you indulgence!

Thanks. Enjoyed thoroughly. More such pieces please.

Harish

I think Chowk Staff did a great injustice to t for turning this piece down the first time it was submitted almost a year ago. This is a powerful piece of writing so it was stuck in my mind. Sometimes I think the reason that Chowk turned it down was this:

http://www.chowk.com/bin/showa.cgi?sshah_mar0699

But I dont think that is a reason good enough. God has created us in His immage, and hence we are images of each others as well.

By the way Saima Shah you are super, super, super. I miss Bad Girl also.

Dear t:

Of all your contributions(and replies), this one is definitely the best. Maybe because you are letting go of yourself a little more and the relaxed tone is at odds with the subject matter. Whatever it is thanks for a good one.

later

-sac

Tujhi ko dekhuin gaa jub tuk hain barqaraar Aankhen

Meri Nazar naa phiray gee teri nazar ki tarah

Creepy, sad, delightful..wonderful as always Temporal.

…sends shivers down my spine to think this is how most of us will end up….

as good as the first time i read it

Thank you for deepening my depression. Too good to be wasted on chowk!!!