The Last Crusade

Romair #110

If you are so certain of your analysis, why has Musharraf ordered Hafeez Sayed (of LeT) to be taken into detention again immediately after this attack, as indeed after the Dec. attack on the Parliament? After all, if he is not involved and is innocence personified, then why bother detaining him? Guilty conscience, perhaps? And if you are so proud of `international agencies` being allowed to investigate the homicide-attack on the French in Karachi, then why not allow this principle to operate in the trial of Omar Sheikh to the Americans, or atleast allow them to interrogate him, or for him to make a statement in open court to defend himself as is his due, or allow the press to cover it? Might he spill some beans on how he worked hand-in-glove with the ISI?

Cheers

Re: Romair #110

``...The international investigation agencies, press etc. should be brought in (to investigate the attack near Jammu)...``

Maybe it is time for just that, if only an apolitical, strictly professional investigative agency could be brought in focusing on the facts of this attack. What if the agency ends up blaming groups based in Pakistan? What then?

ANNE ROBINSON: AMERICANS ARE DUMB





EXCLUSIVE: Quiz Queen says: Only 5% of them have passports and they act as if Dubya`s Einstein



By Ros Wynne-Jones





ANNE Robinson, the flame-haired quiz show dominatrix, is not impressed. The Weakest Link is to be shelved in the United States as a result of declining audience figures and Anne, who has made no secret of her contempt for American intellect, is taking no prisoners.

America, You are the Weakest Link, Goodbye! ``On one US show I asked a young soap star how many minutes there were in half an hour,`` Anne says, wearily. ``And she said 60.``

Nor is she much impressed by their leader. ``I saw George Bush at a benefit concert actually waving at Stevie Wonder,`` she says, incredulously. ``Someone had to tell him `he can`t see you`.`` Anne wanted to mention the incident on a US chat show but, post- September 11, criticising Dubya was deemed unpatriotic.

``Suddenly, you couldn`t say anything about him,`` she says. ``Before September 11, I remember asking on TV if Bush knew where Europe was. Then suddenly, you had to act as if he was Einstein.``



TOUGH: Quiz show dominatrix Anne on the set of the Weakest Link

Does she think Americans are definitively more stupid than the Brits? ``You have to remember that only five per cent of Americans have passports,`` she says. ``That explains a lot...``

Fresh from the startling ratings success of last Saturday`s Test The Nation, 57-year-old Anne is on razor-sharp form.

Dressed in her trademark black with her waspish red hair cropped short, she is reclining on a sofa at her Cotswolds home with the air of a Black Widow spider that has just eaten a particularly delicious suitor.

``The athlete Jonathan Edwards, who won the celebrities` test with 126 points, has a physics degree,`` says Anne, a former Daily Mirror executive. ``And he was definitely the right winner because he was the best looking there - the one you would have wanted to sleep with.``

COMPETING with the likes of newspaperman Andrew Neil and EastEnders` Ian Beale - Adam Woodyatt - you`d hope so.

``Adam was the most competitive,`` Anne reveals. ``We said we`d only reveal the top three celebrity results, so as not to embarrass anyone. But he was desperately looking for the card with all the results on and was last seen scrabbling around under the podium.``

For 30 minutes during the show, unbeknown to Anne, her earpiece link to the directors went dead - without it, most hosts would be reduced to jelly.

``They normally interrupt you all the time, so I thought that if they were quiet it must mean the show was going well. It was only when I saw them gesturing wildly that I knew something was up.``

Her face creases with pleasure as she shows the new, cuddly Anne. ``I wore pink for Test The Nation,`` she says, brightly. ``It was such a relief. My new softer image.``

She takes me up to her wardrobe, to view the outfit. Next to it is a soft beige one, for a forthcoming appearance on the Jonathan Ross show.

The black designer interrogators` outfits for The Weakest Link are at Pinewood Studios. NBC, the US network that makes Weakest Link in America, has also bought up Test The Nation, so a soft pastel wardrobe may soon be required there, too.

``Of course, the real test will be whether Americans can concentrate for an hour,`` says Anne, lapsing into her old ways. Descended from a long line of North Wales Wynne-Jones, I have to take issue with her over her anti- Welsh comments on BBC2`s Room 101.

``All I can say is that we did a Welsh-only Weakest Link and they won the least amount of money ever,`` Anne retorts.

Fortunately for the Valleys, she has a new target. Last year she upset Americans by declaring that few US citizens knew anywhere outside of Idaho - and she despairs of her Stateside contestants.

``You can always tell Texans,`` she says. ``They wear big, bright, multi- coloured sweaters. Every time I see one, I think God`s made another rainbow. Then you get the clean-shaven Right-wing Christian types. The Jews on our team are always laughing at them saying: `He wouldn`t have let us hide in his attic.```

She does, however, have a kind word for Bill Clinton. ``I think he did womankind a great favour. He proved that giving your boss a blow job in the photocopying cupboard is not dating. Nor is it clever. Throughout history, the disappointment of women is that they are attracted to power.`` Anne confesses that her dream is to run a Clever Women`s Group, where she would train young women not to be so bloody silly. What would be on the curriculum?

``Don`t sleep with them on the first date - wait till the sixth. And do not ring him. And why do women always fall for irresponsible, unfaithful men?`` she asks. ``They need to learn to like dull men and treat them properly.``

All this seems a bit harsh on John Penrose, Anne`s gentle, long- suffering other half, agent and business manager.

``Well, you couldn`thave two of me in this small a space, could you?`` Anne says, gesturing across the room towards the spluttering open fire. She has a point.

SHE is truly, madly wonderful... but times two?

A Weakest Link Lookalikes Special, which featured an Anne lookalike among the contestants, terrified the audience.

``I introduced her saying: `This is your worst nightmare.` Anyway,you have to have someone on crap control.``

By that, she means someone like her husband, who`ll sit at home and judge the fine line between being a celebrity and an ego-maniac. ``Vanessa Feltz could do with one,`` she says, smiling innocently. ``And Esther Rantzen.`` The key to ``crap control`` is that Anne is not taken overly seriously in her own household. There is a Weakest Link quiz book next to the toilet.

The carpet is littered with Anne Robinson dolls from a US promotion, chewed up andspat out by her dogs.

When I tread on a doll accidentally, it barks: `You are the Weakest Link, Goodbye!` As Anne laughs, John whacks another doll`s face on the table. Mini- Anne yelps: ``You could fill an encyclopaedia with all they do not know!``

He winks. ``You can see what we get up to when we`re a bit fed up of Annie,`` he whispers. Returning to the sitting room, I can see that Anne has a red welt on her face and I worry that the doll has voodoo properties. But there is an innocent explanation. She has just been swimming in her heated pool, which features an underwater stereo.

Rather eccentrically, she swims every day in mask and snorkel, which has left the red mark. ``The snorkel is wonderful,`` she says.

``You don`t get a neck ache doing breast-stroke. And I can listen to the Today show underwater.``

Anne is more than happy to send herself up but agrees she isn`t really as tough as her Black Widow exterior, while publishing her warts-and-all autobiography, Memoirs Of An Unfit Mother, last year, laid some demons to rest.

``I had felt that my past was always up for grabs,`` she says. ``I spent years being terrified that someone would find out about the custody battle.``

A former alcoholic, Anne lost custody of her daughter Emma in the 70s, through being what the courts called an ``unfit mother``.

``I spent years being ashamed,`` she adds. ``After writing the book I felt relieved. I`ve always thought that fear is the worst drug of all. It makes people behave so badly.``

Emma, now a New York radio presenter and executive, has chosen not to read the book but is used to seeing her mother`s face on billboards.

The two are now firm friends and 30- year-old Emma has just bought her mother an unusual present.

So what do you give a woman who has everything? ``A llama,`` says Anne. ``Apparently, I`m now sponsoring one in a developing country.``

Anne, who gave up drink and cigarettes years ago, is on a serious high. NBC may have shelved Weakest Link but it will still run there until September. ``That`s 82 shows - which equals four series of Friends.``

Anne has become what US media circles call ``a break-out personality``. She is in talks over a potential US chat show, Anne Talks Tough. Her autobiography is out in paperback next month. She has even been invited to apply for the post of Rector at St Andrew`s University, where she may at last get the chance to advise bright young women.

Outside on the drive, the studio car is waiting to whisk her to Pinewood, where more hapless Weakest Link contestants will be led into the studio like lambs to the slaughter. ``What do I want next?`` she laughs. ``I want to lose six pounds by this evening.`` Goodbye!

Re: sadna to Tahmed

``...Is it that civilian Pakistanis have counted themselves out of any role in defence/foreign policy matters altogether or is it that most Pakistanis have military affiliations? ...``

Ordinary Pakistanis do not have a choice. What are they to do? The only civilized option that is available to them is civil disobedience, but for that to happen first, army oppression has to rise to a level of unbearability and external threats have to become zero to make a standing army redundant. Barring that eventuality, the army will stay in control.

Rana Ransher

I am very familiar with the wrongs of Ms Indira Gandhi. But she was cunning like a fox. She sensed an opportunity and intervened at the right moment after making all the necessary preparations for 8 months in 1971. Our greatest General to date, Field Marshal Maneck Shaw commented that they had a 50:1 superiority in Bangladesh (not in weapons and men but through preparations and planning) and the surrender of Pakis was inevitable. What surprsed him was the readiness and extreme cowardice with which Paki ``tigers`` did that. In a matter of 10 days the Dhaka was rounded.

Since the last decade, Terrorist Army of Pakistan has been following the agenda of ``bleeding India by thousand cuts``. The situations have reached to such an extent that the Paki darinde have started slaughtering the women and children of our soldiers. They have left no option before us but to go for all out war against them. If we dont kill them they will kill us. Please suggest any other possible way that you know of teaching Terrorist Army of PAK, henceforth just TAP, a lesson. They think that by using the bogus nuke threat they can go on inflicting damage to us without retaliation. I say the time has come when the only way left for us to deal with them is WAR. Note that I am not promoting any hatred towards anyone, just advocating the ONLY WAY we can live with honor. For that ALL of us should be ready to pay the price.

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Rana #137

I wouldn`t waste time on Urstruly. This person is a product of an ideology of religous hatred. He is unable to function at a human level, only at the level of religous stereotypes.

I would compare him to Bal Thackeray or the most hateful VHP/Bajrang dal types. He is cut exactly from the same cloth. Is there any point in arguing with such people? I think not. Once they are shown the stick they slink back into their filth ridden gutters.

RE: Reply #: 138 Urstruly

``what really matters is what Indian media is saying to its own people to incite them, to propagate hate towards Muslims and Paksitanis, to exploit their fears, to prepare a mind set to attack neighboring countries, and to committ genocide in their own country.``

Urstrulys,

We Indians apologize for invading Pakistani turf as far as genocidal tendencies go. And we also apologize for violating the Pakistani copyright on killing Muslims as established in Bangladesh, Afghanistan and of course, Pakistan itself. Next time we`ll behave ourselves and sign the Pakistani EULA on such activities before practicing them.

Pakistan is such a welcoming place that all foreign diplomats are sending their families back to their own countries and hunkering down. The touring New Zealand team dropped their test series following the hospitality shown by their Pakistani bomber hosts in Karachi.

We apologize for spreading hatred towards such a humane, progressive, peace-loving and caring country that threatened to lob a nuclear warhead or two to cover the childish Kargil prank. After all, Pakistani army boys will be boys, won`t they?

Rana Ransher, Prem, sadna, shammi, arjun, rsaxena, bong-dong, soundmeister, roohi and ALL OTHER INDIANS

For a moment, I forgot that fundamental philosophy of Chanakya, ``Never act in haste or under emotions. Prepare and prepare well, and wait for the opportune moment``. So how do you guys think we can do ``pratikaar`` of the continuing TAP`s policy of cross border terrorism. Now when even the names and addresses of these Paki perpetrators are out in open,and the complicity of Paki SSG is established, how do you think India should respond. Please note that ALL SUICIDE bombings whether it was attack on Kashmir legislature or Indian Parliament, was ALWAYS carried out by Paki terrorists and NOT Kashmiri ones. Should India abrogate Indus water sharing agreement. Why shoud we suffer all the time. Let us carry this covert warfare to where it matters the most. Let pakistan face famines and bear the collateral damage of the cross border terrorism. Or should India go for an attack on PoK to flush out the terrorists. As targets of Paki terrorists, WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUSRSUE THEM, and take punitive action against any country that harbors them. Or should it be more ``calibrated`` like decreasing the water flow to Pakistan instead of completely stopping it while remaining non-commital about the treaty. If Pakis decide to attack us to dissuade us, we will teach them the meaning of the war. I know it is unethical, but then TAP has shown that it is not governed by ethics in its jihad against Kafirs. So KAFIRS, UNITE IN THE WAR AGAINST FAITHFUL.

Reply Akash # 121

“At moments like these, this heart longs for Indira Gandhi.”

She was, on balance, a corrupting influence on India’s body politic, but this heart cannot help but join you. She was more of a man than any of the incoherent clowns we are currently reduced to. (What was that quote? I think from a BJP wallah in South Block?)

“Do you think that proud lady would have let our countrymen be masacred in such a cowardly fashion? Autocratic she was, but not gutless.”

It is, IMO, not remembered enough that one of the reasons that Indira Gandhi died in a hail of bullets was that she refused to have her Sikhs bodyguards replaced. Whatever her sins, she possessed a level of physical (and political – remember Madras?) courage that none of those who followed her as PM has displayed.

I can’t help contrasting, as well, her reaction to the massacre at Nellie (anybody remember the India Today cover of that week? Or the political outcome?) with Vajpayee’s to what happened in Gujarat.

As for cross border terrorism, there would have been at least two equivalents of the Mukti Bahini being supported and creating trouble in Pakistan by now.

On the other hand, let’s not forget that she had a hand in creating the problems in Punjab (promoting Bindranwale) and Kashmir (basically vitiating the democratic process in many ways).

Regards.

shammi #132 There is indeed a great danger to tens of millions of people living in big cities of India and Pakistan in case of a full scale nuclear exchange. And the longer run destruction is potentially unimaginable: in terms of radiation-poisoned land and atmosphere for example, the two countries are close enough that the winds would ``blowback`` radioactive material in a very real sense across borders.

The only real solution is peace between the two countries, and an end to religious fanaticism and nationalistic chauvinism. And I dont have a clue, even as an armchair chowk theorist, on how one gets that in less than a couple of generations.

hamidm #127 Even in the Pearl case, the mullahs are in denial - I saw the bearded defense attorney in the Pearl case yesterday on TV claiming that the ghastly video of Mr. Pearl being brutally murdered was doctored because (and this is a precise quote from the mullah-lawyer) ``even his legs did not move when he received the blow``.

And this is an ``educated mullah`` speaking!! There is indeed a real ``war against terrorism``, and I fear that the front line is now within Pakistan. While I have no doubt on which side will ultimately win (since the mullahs are on the wrong side of history, on the wrong side of reason, and on the wrong side of religion itself), the damage done by these animals to Pakistan is already much greater than anything India could do, and God save Pakistan in the months and years ahead.

RanaRansher/Akash: While your Indira-nostalgia is touching, also remember that Indira blasted the ``peaceful nuke`` that ultimately led to the checkmating of the Indian military despite its overwhelming might, that led to RanaRansher and Akash getting Indira-nostalgic. If you feel bad, think how bad Advani (``We got the bomb. Things will be different from now on.``) is feeling right now.

sadna #133 while not wishing to spoil your joy of sitting on a moral pedestal, I should note that there is no shortage of posts from pakistani posters on chowk (including myself) who decry the interference of the military in politics. And no shortage of people within Pakistan including lawyers and journalists themselves.

Janwaran de haspital Abdul apna oonth lihaya,



* * * Into the animal hospital, Abdul brought his camel,

Dakdar ne wekh bimari, nuskha likh pakraya,

* * * The doctor gave him a prescription, after checking the animal,

Kuj chir magron, Khaun, khaun, karda, Abdula mur ke aya,

* * * After a while Abdul returned, coughing badly,

Biju warga bura usne he see muh banaya,

* * * His face was screwed up like a monkey.

Dakdar ne sochiya hosi oonth dulati layi,

* * * The doctor probably thought the camel must have kicked him,

Hasa rok puchya sheikh ji eh ki shakal banai,

* * * Controlling his laugh, he asked what did happen,

Kehan laga hath kore le main cheeza sub peeyan,

* * * ‘With clean hands I minced all the ingredients’ said he,

Pee pah ke chan choon ke jado chitan ho gaiyan,

* * * After mincing and sifting them, when they became powdery,

Nalki wich pa nalki us de nathne wich tikai,

* * * I put them in a pipe and put the pipe in his nosteral,

Dooji turfon fook laan lai main nalki muh pai,

* * * From the other side I put the pipe in my mouth to blow on it,

Mehri fookon pelhan he cha fook oonth ne mari,

* * * Before I could blow, the camel blew first,

Mehri gal de under dhas gai chat dwai saari,

* * * All the medicine went down my throat,

Allah bakshe, fook usdi wang haneri aiye,

* * * God forgive me, his breath came like a gale,

Nalki wi lang jarin see me phar ke masan bachai,

* * * The pipe would have gone down too, I barely held on to it,

Us de gal sun ke dakter has has dora hoya,

* * * The doctor couldn’t stop laughing after hearing his story,

Abdul us noon wekh hasdeyan dooran choran roya,

* * * Seeing him laugh so, Sheikh Chilli cried even more,

Wekh dohan nu hasde ronde Suthra wi muskaya,

* * * Seeing them laughing and crying, the author smiled,

Sun hoye budhu, es jag ne he pehal tayin wadyaya,

* * * Listen you fool, this world always honors the first,

Jis de fook lag jaye pehlan, jit use de kehnde,

* * * Who so ever blows first, is the winner,

Tere je boodhu sada he ree ree karde rehnde.

* * * And fools like you are always crying.

tahmed321 #150
You see a moral pedestal in the oddest places, even in a straight question.

``who decry the interference of the military in politics``

Bruce Reidel is not talking of `politics`. Preparing to nuke a neighbouring country without letting your country`s Prime Minister know is not `interference in politics`. I hope at least the `lawyers and journalists` in Pakistan understand the difference, though you evidently donot.