The Riverbank

reading this made me sad. not very sad, because i hear this kind of justification often, but quite sad. one of my most fervent desires is that one day i will hear yet another of these tales of disillusionment and not react at all, having learned to let them flow peacefully through a hollow cranium rather than catch on some fractured thought and linger.

when i hear tales like these i wonder if they stem from guilt. do they? who told the people who tell these tales they have to feel guilty for the choice they made?

reading/hearing these tales also makes me angry. especially lines like `he heaves a sigh of relief and starts to walk the other way to lights and laughter.` i know it is irrational anger on my part, but i resent the fact that people look at where i live and see no light and laughter.

yes there are benazirs and nawaz and generals galore...and george bush i presume is an intellecutal with no interest in big business or milking hate for profit?

is it a futile dream to be succesful in pakistan? probably. i think the only way around it is to not let anyone else dictate the meaning of the notion of success, and find peace and tranquility in bringing balance to your own life.

easier said then done, yes yes i know.

one day i will learn to not react.

shandana

``Can I even lead a sane life in Pakistan? What will I do? Try to apply to a university for an admission? Which university? Karachi University? Huh!``

Mr. Mahmood

my karachi university is every bit as good as your pennsylvania shensylvania..why dont u take your huhs and go jump in that river of yours..oh wait! thats exactly what u did! i can understand your anguish, pain, disuillusionment but excuse me if i find it hard to respect any of it...Pakistan is this blah blah blah that too, aik baat tau batao ustaad...just WHO will make things better? uppar sae koee farishta ae ga? What right have you to complain if you have played no part in making things better? And if I`m being harsh, would you explain exactly what you have done that justifies this whine fest?

Lets take one example of your unfair portrayal in this article:KU. I`ve been enrolled for 2 years and yes things are bad in the administration, useless khaoos are all over the place, lotsa nepotism/favouritism, dangerous politics BUT the ugliest place in karachi? (havent been to the passport office have you?) for every 2 clerks who will take four days to make you a simple transcript, there is one who`ll do the job in less than 5 minutes also..for all the jamaati/mqm inclined professors who take 2 classes per semester,there are teachers in every department who will blow your mind my dear mahmood...when i say blow your mind, i mean blow your mind, a huge explosion followed by many others that will leave you breatheless..i will not get into details of what all these people risk to get through to us what they do...all the political bakwaas and frustration at the machinery is worth one class and im not overdoing it when i say this..ill be glad to take you...to get there as part of a daily routine you have to brave all the other ish that is part of public education in Pakistan...it requires faith in what is yours and the dream to see it better but most of all you need to be willing to put in a little of yourself to see it that way..the point all along being, dont judge so harshly..like all other things everywhere, we have our good and bad..ya tau help make it better or then zip it...i take strong offence to your calling KU an ugly place, the ugliest in all of karachi! walk from the entrance to the admin block at 7 in the morning any day of the year and with the squirrels and birds and grass and light dew and grass all around you on roads that are all yours, you will fall in love and i dont care if thats not what you were talking about..its NOT ugly

``He carefully stands up, stretches, and looks in the direction of the well-lit riverbank. He sees a bunch of people all smiling and welcoming him. He picks up his small bag and jumps onto the riverbank. He is greeted and warmly welcomed. At last his dreams will come true. At last he is in the right place. Far from the madding crowd. Far from the corrupt society, and far from dismay. Far. Very very Far.``

thats the different then...your dream is a place right...for some of us the dream is right for that which is ours...pain at seeing what you love in a mess i can understand only too well...if this is that, my apologies if i`m being needlessly b!tchy and incoherant and confusing..

i hope you will interact and tell us exactly what your problem is

slink

Reply #: 1

``...is it a futile dream to be succesful in pakistan?``

No. It is a feudal reality...

A tale of despair, gloom, anguish and hopelessness. An excellent commentary on today`s Pakistan. For a 21 year old, this is first-rate writing. As convincing as if the writer is writing from experience. Finally, after a long time, we get an article at Chowk worth reading and pondering. Hope to see more of your work at Chowk. Good job.

From your article, I see that you are currently living in US. I just wanna know whether you spent your youth here in Pakistan or you are in US right from your birth. your article reflects the things which are highlighted in media and there are many things are not reported and many things are given a western biased color by International news reporting companies (CNN, Time, Newsweek etc)

there are certain realities which are unique with this country and those realities may be the root cause of all the things you have mentioned.

Like Shandana, I also felt sad when I read this.

Having lived in the US as long as I have, I was struck by this sentence:

``. A place where a poor black man has the same rights as the white man. Heaven on earth.``

Ah..if this were only true. What Mahmood sahib calls Heaven on Earth still has a ways to go before a poor black man, or even a not so poor black man has all the rights that the white man does.

re:

i nominate King Edwards Medical College as the ugliest place in pakistan rickety disgusting chairs nonexistant AC , a crumbling building and a witch of a physiology teacher..............

the education is good i guess.........i didnt stay too long to experience it !!!!!!!!!!!

Go deeper, my friend. If this is a start, I must say it is strictly just that. Hope to see more of you.

A sad article, no doubt, but reality for the middle class in a situation where there is no upward mobility. The early 1990s in India, before liberalization, there was a similar sense of hopelessness.

I have a hunch. The people who will criticize the author are the ones from privileged backgrounds. The ones who don`t have to stand in line.The ones who have not had to struggle. The ones who do not have to bear the humiliation of simply existing. Those elitists will call you names for giving up on your country, not realizing that they are the ones who never had a stake in it in the first place.

Whereas the black man may not be treated as well as the white man, the underprivileged in this country have far more basic rights than the ones back home. This article is not about Pakistan, it is about every country where the elite is a parasitic exploiter.

I hope you succeed, and don`t ever have to look back.

ChowK Staff

Why have failed to put up my original post on this board?

My post is keeping with the rules specified by Chowk and its disappointing that Chowk equates editorial responsibility with censorship.

Why does Mahmoud belive he is ``entitled`` to recieve a scholarship? Deserving? says who? Mahmoud does. Self serving, self righteous are notions Mahmoud is not familiar with.

Mamoud skips Pakistan and inthe West will get a scholarship in the States, without one iota of thought, that someone else, another ``deserving`` was deprived of that scholarship, ``hopelessness`` is not a riverbank in some country, its the content of an empty mind .

In the US Mahmoud will do 2 jobs and a part-time job on weekends and go to school - yet it will not occur to him to do the same in Pakistan - You see, Mahmoud is ``entitled`` - its his ``right``. In the US the likes of Mahmoud, will work hard, harder and smarter than the native born, the likes of Mahmoud will obey every law in the US, the likes of Mahmoud will call the police man, ``sir``, in the US, The likes of Mahmoud will pay every tax, sales tax, state tax, federal tax, in the US, The likes of Mahmoud will line up and remain in line patiently, in the US. Not in Pakistan, the likes of Mahmoud will do none of this in Pakistan; the likes of Mahmoud will complain that in Pakistan no one stands patiently in line, that no one pays taxes, that no one says ``sir`` to the cop - why should he? When the going gets tough, the tough get a goin, in the hope of gettin a groin.

...well said, shandana...we react because we care...and as long as we care, there`s always hope...(excuse the cliched phrase)...how`re you and the baby doing?...

i hope you excell as a classical sitarist and a muscian.

Assuming one fifth of the Mexican population has emigrated to the US and on average an immigrant earns $20,000 dollars annually over his/her earning years, we are talking about 6 trillion dollars worth of earnings flowing away from Mexico. No amount of foreign aid/investment can makeup for these colossal losses.

The biggest tragedy of the underdeveloped world is the loss of its infamous ``best and brightest``. When 98% of the graduating class of Agha Khan Medical college(the college that attracts the brightest kids) ends up in the United States who is going to take care of the motherland?

Stuka:

For once your assertion is close to the mark. In our parlance these elitists are called ``gaddi-nashins`` or heirs to the throne. They are feudals,industrialists or progency of otherwise white collar professionals like lawyers,doctors and bankers. The children of generals/Air marshals/Admirals obviously need to stay abroad to take care of all the ``rizq-e-halal``.

later

-sac

Is this for real:

http://www.dawn.com/2002/07/24/top10.htm

8 young unmarried girls as compensation to set aside a murder conviction. I guess the men of the family own the women to be bartered away as they wish.

Hamid Mahmood,

As another interactor pointed out, this is a strong beggining for a young writer. Keep up the writing and keep reading; you are at the start of your writing journey.

Chowkies,

So why are we dumping on this young guy? Because he`s actually writing about feelings that he is entitled to? For those who complain that he is ``entitled`` in the second sense of the word, well, why not? He is exactly the young mind that will probably be used in less than altruistic manners by self serving factions in any country.

If Chowk is the place for intersections of Pakistani/South Asian dialogue, hopefully a young writer like Mahmood can provide his perspective and get the same respect that a writer like A. Sarwari can when she complains about India, the corporatization of America, and the marketing of ethnicity. It seems to me that Mahmood is writing about the marketization of religion in Pakistan. Perhaps it would serve us better to read and acknowledge that a great number of Pakistani-Americans are starting to percieve Pakistan in this manner. It seems that that is what is annoying some respondents the most.