The Sad Reality of Arranged Marriages in South Asia

noor: Twas not a joke, (except for the son beating thing).

Tahmed: Ur extrapolating skills are horrible.
1-it was clearly done in jest.
2-I never said ``all`` anything. I said I would take a goan over a Swede ANY day. I have this thing for melanin, man.
3. If i asked u why the chicken crossed the road, u would enquire about the intersection.

Hamid: I just dont see how NDN`s are any uglier then YT`s. Such would only be the case of less pigmentation is considered beautiful (for me it isnt!). By the way, the ``more hair on the head then in the ears`` line was gold.

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Freesoul,

Again may I point out that many progressives believe in fair financial compensation, health care, etc for sex workers? So, your terminology continues to require a bit of forethought...:)

Nice article. I agree with you that it is a rasict institution, when have you heard someone`s parents who are Punjabi are hooking him up with a Bengali girl? Never! But arranged marriage fits so well in our society. I am a 22 year old male, and I am looking forward to my mother finding me a girl, so that I can get married and *ahem ``get laid``. I would say 2 more years!

saminashah

... sorry ...... jahez is a particularly maleficent manifestation of this deranged institution and kitchen accidents should be prosecuted as first degree murders ..............

Saminasha ( #42)

``Any comments on jehaz, and kitchen accidents?``

politically correct definitions:

jehaz = fringe benefits or service/product charges of prostitutes
kicthen accidents = professional hazards, firing of disgruntled employee

Hamidm,
As you have gotten as much mileage out of this as possible, can we return to the point of the article?

Any comments on jehaz, and kitchen accidents?

Good. I like that artcile. I like condemning arranged marriages as racist institution. It is also sexist, as it promotes objectification of both sexes.

It is also form of prostitution. I fail to understand how one can speak against `normal` prostitution, but favors arranged marriages on different grounds. Another indication of pseudo intellectuals that i was referring to in my article.

I wonder if people even know what they like... `Gora rang` has become somewhat of a status symbol. Every second song you hear these days, is goriye nee goriye`, any wonder then that most men are brainwashed into society`s idea of what is `beautiful`. Does this damn fascination with gora chitta rang come from the days of worshipping the white imperialist?

My naani ji, is an out and out racist, as a little girl, I heard her coutless warnings of staying away from black people, who were bad, evil, and ugly....and white people were angels sent from Heaven, coming from a woman who lived in India during British imperial rule, and partition, this constitutes treason in my book.

I prefer tall, dark handsome men, they have a certain sexiness that I just don`t see in `albino white`. Hritik Roshan, is shown almost colourless on screen, he is in fact quite dark, and off screen he looks the better for it.

On the subject of arranged marriages, even the term `forced` is overly generalised. Conditioning plays a huge part in whether the potential bride/groom say yes. For instance a girl can be put under immense pressure that falls only just short of demanding she agree to the union, that pressure comes in many subtle guises and starts way before puberty. So called love marriages have become much much more common in BC, and the rate of divorce has also gone up significantly, although I don`t see this as being a direct result, more to do with the fact that society today is faster, everyone`s looking for a quick fix, numero uno is the first concern and we are much less willing to `settle` for anything less than the bollywood fantasy of `love`. Bollywood has a lot to answer for!

Arranged marriage is racist only in the sense that it exludes marriages across race boundries although many 300 pounders of any race wouldn`t mind arranged marriage across race boundries.
Attn: Nooroo. Marriage, sex, love and falling in love are 3.99 different things:
Marriage: It turns two people into one for the sake of one or many in the future. The husband and wife are like part of the same body, like head and neck respectively. Whichever side neck turns, head automatically turns to that direction. It could also mean lowering the control of head from mind to the neck.
Sex: Here the oneness is temporary and the control not just shifts from mind to the neck for further down to chakra number one of kundalini yoga. It is also authoritarian, defies equal rights because one is always under the other unless the certain egalitarian pictures are followed according to kama sutra.
Love: Love is not limited to sex and marriage related activites. The control moves too quickly sometimes between chakra one and number six to really have any control at all by any chakra. Other times it could be anywhere between 1-6 chakra. Both parties wish the other to control due to absolute trust in the blindness quantity that makes quality insgnificant variable. The ova and sperms are basically the ``amanat`` of the other, though cheating is often forgiven:
amanat maeN khyanat kee naheeN aurat ko ijazat
pas-e-parda raqeeboN sey murawwat hae himaqat
be panah-o-be lagam ishq asl-e-mardana shujaat
ham pyala-o-ham nivala hum-sayuN kee baegmaat
Falling in Love: Falling in love is the result of failing everywhere else. It is giving up struggle of maximizing the spread of individual`s genes. Once fallen in love, the mind is contented with rational and ground state realities. For example, falling in love with Pakistan means decrease in the importance what is not Pakistan such as Kashmir or Taliban. Now those non-Kashmiris who fall in love with Kashmir decreae the importance of love for Pakistan. Falling in love with Kashmir means failing in love with Pakistan. Falling in love with death in the name of any love is failing in love with life.
It took 3 billion years of falling in love for our immune system to protect our life against deadly infections, it should not be sacrificed for twisted indoctrinated logics.

drumz

............. i can sympathise with your point about icelandic cusine - even dosas are better than pickled herring ............. but the fact of the matter is that beauty is a rare occurance south of attock - okay i wll go as far as hasanabdal !............ notwithstanding the silly romantic songs about sanwali multani belles and aishwarya rai, the average man or woman on the strret in bombay or karachi or madras is ugly as sin .... sorry, you can`t put lipstick on a pig and pass him off as a horse !............ it is just our tough luck, and we have to live with it and let evolution and natural selection run its course ............... and for god`s sake don`t mention any more bollywood actors and actresses - other than those with khan as a last name, the rest of them are freaks of nature ......... but they also have women in wisconsin who weigh less than two hundred .............one should not generalize and it is nice to be an optimist .........

............. but this still does not justify arranged marriages - ugly people also have a right to be happy .............

Drumz #38 I fear you are letting your anti-white views cloud your judgement. Repeat after me: ALL GOANS are not more attractive than ALL SWEDES. Good.
Now repeat: And vice versa.
Very good. You are getting their.
Now, your final lesson, repeat:
It all depends on WHICH goan and WHICH swede you are talking about.
I hate to see a brilliant mind like yours come up with meaningless generalizations like some of the lesser minds on chowk.

my goodness..I just read Hamidm`s #32...and, and....maaan, you cannot be serious!!!!
and DRUMZy...not EVERY Indian actress looks like she just slept with Dracula...have you not seen Nandita Das, yaar? She is beautiful--dark and yummy looking! ;)

DRUMZy...
[I met a Hindu girl. Our child will be called `Kashmir` and we will beat him on alternate days. ]
---oh no maaaan...not you too!!!!

Satyavadi,

I do not mean to offend you, but you are being naive, if you think that over the thousand years, there was no mixing of blood. Specially with the volatile history of north western India. We are all a mixture of Aryan, Pathans, Arabs, Persians, dravids chinese and even black blood. And this is a short list. In fact there might be many more.

There is no such thing as purity or race. Everybody in the world is a mixture of different races. It is only a matter of degree and what genes dominate.

hamidm2 #32 ``on the other hand, mrs hamidm has nothing to fear from the c-programmers from kerala ``
Mrs. hamidm better not get too confident. I have seen some programmer females from kerala or someplace in south india who are real cuties.
And need I drop a name like Aisharwaya Rai (who is from somewhere close to kerala, I understand from some previous chowk discussions among your `orrible `indoos that I was eavesdropping on) to get you to change your views?