Various Poems

Amir Sahab: I agree with qaisarkhan. ``Simplicity`` is really good. The element of surprise out of trite situation makes it impact-creating.

re: 33

Mickey?

Aamir,

Dreams, Simplicity >>> a sensitive and admirable work,

keep it up,

Qaisar

Ansari,

My favorites were in this order:

Dreams,
Home(How to make one)
Simplicity

cheers,
Fozia

Harpreet: he`s my neighbour. :o)

driz459: thank you for your comment. we start out walking then learn to run, we`ve only just begun.

Hello Amir
I read your poems and also some commint on your poems. But i am sorry to say that there no poetry in these poems. All poems are some statment. The onle one that reaches to some extent to the poetry level is your poem Dream though it is also not may be called a complete but it shows your talant to creat the poetry.

Aamir

Hmmm..i don`t think so...Who is she/he??

-h-

Harpreet: thanks mate! By the way, do you know a Premjeet Soorae?

Ana: my pleasure.

Ras: Thank you. I`m glad you enjoyed them.

Aamir,

Enjoyed them all but ``Dreams`` is really outstanding.

Maybe that is why onions make us cry when we cut them....

A Book for of your work coming out any time soon?


Ras

Deers Aamir :
plese allows me to ispeak to my friends purfassar Farzana on your takhti. thanxs :)

Deers Pruffasar Farzana :
Thanxs to replyings. /hai / i learns good angrezi frum yus. bhery soon peeple`s in farangi land, will think i ams also farangi .... :)

Ah the istawberries ... i like your nazm bhery much .Agains thankyous for talking in angrezi and agreeings to give me pravate tweeshuns in farangi langwhich.

the istawberries i thinks are dancing in the jams .... like in jams sesshuns, in farangi land everyone is gay and happy.... good thing no.

yours istudent ,
s

aamir, that was a wonderful story you told me in your reply to me....i thought i had acknowledged that, but i hadn`t.

ferzoo....loved the `bimbo`.... ;-) and my suspicions were correct the entire time....and the guys didn`t know what L`oreal is, good grief, their wives or future wives are worth it, don`t you think???!!!!
but this may be lost on them as well....so a bit of explanation is offered by the one who watches too many commercials...picture Andie McDowell talking about L`oreal hair color and saying `Because I`m worth it!` at the end!
love, a.

Farzana # 14

You are some of the Chowkees I hold in a great esteem. Always natural and bold. With a great writing style and lucidity.

I will look out for pees - and remain clear.

With Aamir`s parmesan...not aksd but taking for grants will be givens...he knowing story of my paapi peit. So allows allowance...

Shirin:
Thanks you for calling me iss-mart, like wal mart, no? sab kuchhh getting here, even what not wanting. You want tweeshun...arre, I aksd recently for time parting job in madrassa and told that my angrezi was WMD -- Wery Mind Dangling -- but when man in middle told maulvi he said i could be khaali-peelee, only everyone saying it is there, but not really there. Man in middle must give full story no...khair for you i will give ispeshal private tweeshun, you really knows bhandaar of talenting I have. (I will also by reaching Canada will gets whole world phaim.)I want to be from same thali also but i don want to be baingan...i like chikna bhindi;) and haan i also writes poetries, so for your question of strawberries, i will give jawaab in tarannum...raag Sabzi Mandi...

Strawberries in jam kya karela
They are bechara marela
so how they can be cousins of peas
when they are resting in peace?
in death you cants make out
if they are aise or waise
in life whether they were gay or free
i will haves to aks strawberry`s tree.

Yours dootiphul and gooding to see you agains here,
F

ana:
Heheh...Aamir might just shoot me for this. Btw, how was your chat with the `bimbo`???;) The co-conspirators had no choice...though poor guys did not know what L`oreal was!
Love,F

Ok Aamir: re-read the poems as I always do and now is a saner time to comment. I loved `Simplicity` -- it is sharper and more incisive. I also like ``Home`, though do feel that the `explanation` in the title could have been done away with or been made a seamless part of it...I hate parenthesis in poetry! And yes, am not sure if it makes sense but the second-last line ``And wait`` could have been omitted...to read
``And lose them
Until they find themselves.`` Just a thought.

Regarding `Purgatory`...here is my take...

I too might like to say Yeats
Coz I think it`s kind of neat
Will you forgive me
Or will you laugh with glee
For even the dates I know are the ones that grow on trees.

:)F

Aamir

You are the best

-h-

Onions say humko yaad aaya
Teri aankhen hain aaloo
Tere honth hai bhindi
..
Teri aankhen hain aaloo
Tere honth hai bhindi
Aur tere gaal hain tamatar
..
Teri aankhen hain aaloo
Tere honth hai bhindi
Aur tere gaal hain tamatar
Bol
Bol mai tujhe kya kahoon?
Apni mehbooba ya apni sabzi mandi