What is Islam?

Yo friend,

I see a cow about to take a leak, on the horizon...now be a good boy & run towards her...its about time you took a shower...

Dear old bandicoot,
We just grow wild ;-) Atleast you called us people.
I am sorry, you are not foaming. You are fuming & frothing.

Now relax, take a deep breath, count till three. And think. Now is the phase where you must reconcile yourself to your limitations. You can never be Bahmad. Once you accept that, you will enter the phase of building your self estem again. And that will be the time when your frothing will stop.


Your friendly little old man

friend #321 I seem to have used up all my ``idiot time`` for now. Sorry I cant carry on this conversation.

friend #321 Incidentally, the main para in your post is gibberish. And the final sentence imitates what I wrote, and imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, I thank you for that.
Also, I see you failed cut and paste anything from my post to back your claim that I was ``foaming``. This proves my point that you were merely getting back at me for pointing out the ``bile factory`` inside you.
Now I think I have really run out of ``idiot time``. (Are people like you raised in special schools in India, or you just grow wild?)

``could you tell us why your cohorts behaved like such junglees in the State assembly? The western media got a huge thrill showing the free-for-all pandemonium. I know Indian democracy can be ..er..coloful..but that was hilarious.``

{*mutters quietly to himself: how else are junglees expected to behave if not like themselves? changes gear before Shankar da appears on stage *}

My dear Shankar,

What unfortunate misinterpretation! What you call ``free-for-all pandemonium`` was nothing but vociferous display of democratic agreement; what you construed as the throwing of chairs was, if truth be known, a disciplined form of intense physical excercise; and what you saw as profusely bleeding reddened noses (and broken, dangling arms) resulted from medical experiments undertaken by scientifically trained representatives of the residents of heaven. To amaze and astonish foreigners is a duty we take very seriously.

We are lucky indeed to have been born UPites, the best, the brightest, and by far the jungliest.

Our brother Biharis don`t come close.

Hope matters stand clarified now.

#320 by Old Ahmek
Oh you meant #312. I realize my mistake, you were not in that compartment. Had you been there than my post would have made sense.
You are right you don`t object till you get paid.

your immature little friendly man.

friend #319 I meant your post #312. Also, please cut and paste the part of my post where you think I am ``foaming``. Seems to me you are merely trying to get back to me for pointing out the bile-ridden nature of you earlier posts.
As for calling me names - I have been called many names on chowk, generally by individuals whose pretensions have been deflated and have nothing left to say other than call me names. By calling me names, you are merely indicating to me the immature little man that you are.

#318 by tahmad32 -
Old bandicoot,
Now you are foaming very hard. Are you replying to Soysauce #215 or to me (#316)? Decide soon so that I can reply.

Always your friend

#317 Banjara
Yaar, please write a translation. I couldn`t get it.

friend:

Instead of - u scratch my balls etc, how about a typical UP response which carries more class ;)

`` mun tora haji ba-goyam, tou mara haji ba-go``

shankar #309 Finally! A post where you address your old buddy after all this trouble he went through for not pitching in with the madding crowd! The negative mail does not bother me - not every chowk poster gets criticized for NOT writing something (kind of like the dog that criticized because it did not bark). So I take these expressions of hurt feelings and outraged holiness (including friend`s unfriendly post to which I will come to next) as being in fact expressions of praise and admiration. (Who needs a thick skin when rose-colored glasses are available?).

Friend #315: I can picture that bile-making factory that was custom fitted into you overflowing as you read the last sentence above. You are now getting ready to write another one of your shi!tty little posts telling me off once and for all. But wait! You are now confused, since you are not sure whether you should do as I say you will do, or not. So folks, please stand by for the exciting finish to this ``discussion``: will friend pour his high-pressure bile onto the next post, or will he keep building up the pressure inside him and not write that post? We shall soon find out...

#309 by shankar to tahmed,
`` I get a feeling they are acting out some unresolved past khunnas....pray, let them feel good about being holier-than-thou... ``

Yaar, what kind of psychologist are you? do some self analysis!! Now this new raag of ``I didn`t anything, they have some old khunnas!!``, Yes I have an old khunnas that you didn`t return 25 cents you borrowed from me in 5th grade.

You and this old-bandicoot - We used to have a phrase for this kind of relationship - uuscratch (aka uucp)- u scratch my balls- I scratch yours.

Hasanji:
You fall into the same trap that everyone does at some point or the other, of mistaking an anonymous chat room for the larger society. Here there`s ABSOLUTELY no reason to have this insidious philosphy that only muslims can criticise muslims, etc. It`s true in the real world only because the consequences can be grave and the effectiveness of criticism can be blunted by labeling someone hindu-lover, etc. Without these impediments we are supposed to let it all hang out here.
That said, i should point out that the flip side of only muslims can, etc. is that a random muslim is expected to criticise all and sundry anywhere in the world if it`s done in the name of islam. An ordinary muslim or a hindu is expected to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Very unfair i say.
Sadhana mentioned at some point that reform has come from within hinduism. That`s being very chartiable, taking a very broad view of what a hindu is. It`s only a little more restrictive than saying reform to human actions has come from within humanity. An obvious and ridiculous statement you`d agree. Those that agitate for reform are always from the margins and labeling them hindu is a matter of convenience. There`s also another aspect. Sati was not abolished by hindu reformers. Vidyasagar and Ram Mohan Roy only provided the cover of dharma so the brits could ban it. It was only nominally reform from within.

sadna,

Thankyou for being a such a good sport...I was wrong about you..

Pankaj,

UPites form the majority of Indians. Now could you tell us why your cohorts behaved like such junglees in the State assembly?:) The western media got a huge thrill showing the free-for-all pandemonium. I know Indian democracy can be ..er..coloful..but that was hilarious:))

sadna,

Thankyou for being a such a good sport...I was wrong about you..

Pankaj, Prem,

UPites form the majority of Indians. Now could you tell us why your cohorts behaved like such junglees in the State assembly?:) The western media got a huge thrill showing the free-for-all pandemonium. I know Indian democracy can be ..er..coloful..but that was hilarious:))

banjaara & satyavadi,

Yaro, give tahmed a break, hahn! Porky here doesnt need anybody`s ``encouragement`` to wollow in mud--it is a natural instinct... I knew full well what tahmed`s views were about colorful language , before I ..er, wollowed...so drop it, already!..even a middle aged pig loves to wollow..so if it hurts a 20 something that a pig wont ``grow up``, please feel free to throw mudballs at the pig...he doesnt mind...

tahmed,

I dont feel you have to justify what you did or did`nt do to these enlightened characters. I get a feeling they are acting out some unresolved past khunnas....pray, let them feel good about being holier-than-thou...

satyavadi #303 If you tell me you were offended only at shankar`s manners, and not at his ridiculing of hindu rituals, then that is fine. Even my unlimited time does not permit me to go and research the course of interaction on this board. I see you are also offended by my suggestion to talk straight (``like a man``, and this is a phrase with no offense to the many fine straight-talking women on chowk) - you are welcome to let this criticism slide by terming it cheesy. This criticism was based on your earlier post, so I consider it quite justified. If you dont believe it was fair criticism, that is your call and no skin off my back.
Amen, and go in peace. (I would draw a halo here, if only I knew how).