Frankly Speaking

arey bhai yahan to logon ko kharaab na karo, achey khwab to hein logon key pass.... hameni panic matt karao...

Ustad, very true.

Its sooooooooooooooo true : ) .... I wonder how these people manage to have these red, bloue or even ``chimki`` golden spiky hair with such a dark complexion which is invisibly dar in a sunny day as well ... and also thopse fat nosies that look fatter with erected hair !!! lol

Its sooooooooooooooo true : ) .... I wonder how these people manage to have these red, bloue or even ``chimki`` golden spiky hair with such a dark complexion which is invisibly dar in a sunny day as well ... and also thopse fat nosies that look fatter with erected hair !!! lol

da bomb !

LOL

really loved it :)

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!NICE!!! :P
Needs to be up on some billboard in zamzama or something...or shud that be saddar?...hmmm...

Dont lose heart boys. Technique is what counts. Whether it is a gori or a desi, girls are basically the same; if you come across nicely you will do well.

Once you guys come out of college and buy your first BMW, I am sure that things will change.

#29 Four Muslim groups will endorse Green Party

What a joke. Muslims never endorse Green Parties in countries controlled by them unless that green means Islamic.

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That is kind of true!!

Good one!! Keep it up!

sameeroo...that was a joke????? *smile* HaiNNNNN?!!!!!

ZafarA...#25. ``But I think this might be an issue where men and women see things differently. ??``
Not necessarily. Just this particular female. :)

noorOO: Now that is called bold uppercase oo. Here is a joke, I hope you will like it.
Every time at the bar sameer used to buy two drinks. One day bar tender asked him: ``why do you always buy two drinks and sip from both?``
sameer replied: ``I had a drinking buddy but he died of cirrhosis recently. I drink one for myself and one for him.``
After few weeks, sameer started buying only one drink, which surprised bar tender and he asked: ``sameer sahib, I guess you no longer remember your drinking buddy?``
sameer replied: ``no, that is not true. I was actually getting fearful of dying of cirrhosis like my buddy, so I quit drinking. Now I drink only for him.``
HaiN?????

Reply Nooralain #14

``I don`t know that having a phoren wife is necessarily considered a matter of pride...i think it`s considered to be a matter of a number of things...including the `exotic`. But that`s just the opinion of a Pakistani female.``

...I cannot be the only one who was CORNERED by his Nani and khalas (and some random other ladies who happened to be at the house) to be told *jokingly*: ``Abh gori se shadi kar ke math aana!`` (thwack! to help me remember.) Parents, mashallah, stayed out of it.

But I think this might be an issue where men and women see things differently. ??

sameeroo....wadda comedian bante ho ji (T)

noorOO: Every wife is a phoren - gori, kali, chapti, chicano or desi dripping sarsoN ka tael from long hair - they are all from planet Venus.
Men like Fazloo diesel and Qazi Hussain Ahmed are from Mars. Now Mars is midway between heaven and earth and Venus is midway between heaven and hell. It is all within a triangle of earth, heaven and hell....including the black holes where everything is stripped from body, vallet, 401K, car, house,............leaving you standing on one foot for 40 days in an icy stream somewhere in the foothills of Himalaya and chanting desi sutra perfected by His Holiness Bhagwan Shri Rajneesh:
allah hi allah karya karo
black hole tuN darya karo
madad teri ya Lifebuoy
dil wich gham na karya karo

hello minhaj...how come they let u go to the US after u flunked?? just goes to show that the `river dance` stories are true :p...good show!! *thumbs up*

rgds,
samina

forget CIA, its time for DIA (desi in america)!!
ppl, ppl., ppplll, there is more to the life of a DIA then ``GOORIAN``. there are pizza`a to be delivered and Big Mac`s to be made. i think the author is too obbseed with the sex part of life. in reality there are bills to be paid and tuitions to be made. Khana to be Pakana and GPA to be worried. Dear M a look beyod Goorian, there are Kallian and Chaptian and Spanish too(just kidding)

Sameerjb

You mean, one houri in bed is better than 72 in heaven?

(sorry...couldn`t resist that one :))

Prem...thanks. :)

sameeroo...LOL

nooralain # 14

Rest assured noorie, you don`t hope for too much. It`s easy to see that you will be a bright light in the life of the man you marry, and he will reflect your light back to you.

Prem: I think I understand what you mean by deepening experience of Tantric sex. Let others have it usual way or not having it for the sake of 72 houris up there. They won`t have as much fun with 72 as Tantric techniques applied to sex with one.
Was it Mir who said: ter damni pe sheikh hamari na jaiyo----daman nichoR daeN to frishtey wuzu kareN.
I can see frishtey infesting Pakistan with additional fringe benefits from MMA victory.

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oh my gosh....minhaj wrote this. I knew it.

Prem...I don`t know that having a phoren wife is necessarily considered a matter of pride...i think it`s considered to be a matter of a number of things...including the `exotic`. But that`s just the opinion of a Pakistani female. I should hope that a spouse, phoren or desi would be a source of pride..a bright light in the lives of men and women. Sometimes I hope for too much though.

sameerjb,

Speaking of yogis, I have lately had the occasion to deepen my experience of Tantric sex....I most highly recommend it. For those who like to step out of the bounds of the ordinary and the humdrum, there are many worlds out there to explore....

re: Minhaj # 10

A very interesting post! Yeah, I have noticed that insane guilt part.
Also, perhaps we Indians do tend to be bigger nationalists in matters of sex. Partly it`s personal, but no form of human female appeals to me more than desi women.

Ok...something only partly related. A question for Pakistanis: It seems that an amazing number (speaking relatively, here, ofcourse) of Pakistani ``bigwigs`` go around with ``foreign`` wives in tow. At least that`s the impression I seem to get from Pakistani publications. Is there any validity to this observation? Is having a white/western/chinese/japanese wife considered a matter of pride?

(less seriously: and why would they persist in this despite the disaster called Imran Khan? :))

Minhaj #10: Biggest guilt is when somebody else is hurt because of you. The habit you mentioned is not as bad at certain earlier age as the frustratioin of not doing it. The sex needs outlet and penis is not for urinary purposes only. You do not held back pressure from bladder then why should you feel guilty of not holding back pressure from hormones? Human body is a machine needing input for output. The calorie count for jerking off is nothing to worry about in terms of loss. It is psychological as you pointed out.
Put on Nike shoes and J U S T D O I T before Ramzan starts. Or else find an Indian yogi and learn how to do a dry run. In that way, your fast will not break. I can see many eyebrows being raised as question marks.
HaiN? Ab tak humaiN kyuN naheeN iss mind-control-body technique ka pata chala?
Badmash uryaN hoa, Indian sharafat kee aaR maeN
Bottle ka dhakkan khola phansaa ker keewaR maeN
go ankh ko jumbish naheeN hathoN maeN to dum hae
inteha-e-classists construct, dast-e-cheR chaR maeN
(Maulana Syed Mohammad Shareer Karachvi)

First of all thanks for reading and responding. Samina asked a good question and I am going to be a little explicit here:

``What is the fantasy factor that Pakistanis have of life in America? ``


Well this is a good question and I can share some thoughts that may clarify a few things.

I am from Karachi. Middle Class. This is very important I guess when it comes to sex. Becaues the Urdu Speaking Middle Class man is the most sexually repressed creature in the solar system. Unlike Arabs, we are a sorry mix of Indian Sharafat and Islamic guilt.

But that of course did not prevent us from Jerking off. I remember seeing a James Bond movie, when I was I guess in 6th grade or something. I saw the heroine in a skimpy bathing suit. This woke me up sexually and I often fantasized about her. Similarly women in the family read romantic novels. Usually on the front cover there was some idiot like Fabio making love to a hot looking chick. ONce again these images entered my mind and I often fantasized about those women. Then there was Cosmopoliton magazine, and other things that women of the house look at. Well so did I, because I wanted to see all these fantastic chicks.


Finally when you are old enough you can rent porn from the local video shop. This is a fun way to learn german....And after Isha Kee Namaz when every one is sleeping you can pull in that VCR and TV on squeeky wheels to your room...And you can escape into a world of Porn....And this is the all the sex we are probably going to have in Gulshan-e-Iqbal...Or P.E.C.H.S...This is what kids from good families do. If you are hornier or more street wise, you can also go to places like Napier Road and do things with a prostitute. I guess I was too `Shareef/scared` for that.


Then there is the Islamic factor. Unlike Arabs, we do not view Allah as a forgiving uncle who encourages you to enjoy the many pleasures of life including Sex. The MOhajir Middle Class Karachite Islam, is a samosa for iftari and Maghrib kee namaz.


So in our MINDS sex is DIRTY. It is a secret and a well kept one. Also we usually jerk off to images from our childhood. Such as the woman on the cover of Cosmo or PlayBoy or Penthouse even. But do you see what I am getting at? All the women I jerked off too were WESTERN. Unlike the Indian counterpart, who can view beautiful Desi women gracing magazines. So when it comes to jerking off or fantasizing he the Indian is more of a nationalist!

Speaking for people like myself, Our dicks have been colonized by the West. So that is the Western Fantasy Factor, which forces us to view Goreee Women as sexual objects and Desi girls as sexually dissapointing.

M a...
hahaha-this was great. you did such a splendid job of capturing the essence of what desi boys are like when they first arrive here. i really enjoyed reading this. keep us updated on your misadventures with the gori bachees. Or lack thereof. ;)

sara

12 head,

``boobs....`` ``...white trash...``

What are people like you?

Writer,

What is the fantasy factor that Pakistanis have of life in America?

Enjoyed this writing very much M a.

Ideals and fantasy are a part of life that we cannot ignore them.

As far as the Gori factor: I did`nt have much luck myself.

Neigther here in the U.S. or in Karachi.

Ras

#4 by sameerJB

[...Let me ask my broker to buy me more shares of Proctor and Gamble.....:))...]

lol

...as if they are doin` roaring business over there

...t

``Tu To Ab Goree Bachiyaan Phansta Hoga``
M a : Don`t lie to your friends. Tell them the truth that phansing the bachiyaan is not working or that I do not find time to go on phansing circuits or that it has dawn upon me that phansing is immoral or that I am able ot phanse anybody I wish in two dimentions and turnig them to three dimentions by opening the imagination eye.
aaria: You actually know 40 boys in the same boat? Let me ask my broker to buy me more shares of Proctor and Gamble.....:))

welcome to chowk...
a little bit of editing here `n` there, check for typos. thought this was kind of funny, and pathetic.

Bravo!!

Can I just tell you, I know at least 40 boys in the same boat as you. At least you guys got off the boat.

Well-written..

P.S. Riverdale does exist, in our minds.. and as long as we believe we are Archie.. everyone else will be convinced of Veronica and Betty.

very nice,,,,true pic of a man who spent all his youth on the street of khi, now comin in USA (after so dhakay)he thinks Khi is the bride of all cities and he will go back take care of his bride and those screwing her...........this is true that he cant fix local in no time......but he can try befor giving up to fix few of his sorroundings!