Teasing or Torture?

Urstruly (#22)

Actually what happens is that women/girls get prepared in the morning to blow the minds of Richard Gere type MEN. And they end up uninetentionally seducing bus conductors and uncouth hourly laborers. I am sure all women enjoy being given attention by attractive men, and even more.

Think of a society where most men r gays, and most women r staright. What would happen then?

Some poet (who committed suicide---dont know his name), has said:

`jab hum he na rahay to sahab
tum bad-e-saba kehlao to kia?`

(when we r longer there---what if u r the morning sypher(or beauty queen)?`

Also reminds me of some famale french PM, who has made some controversial remarks about London. She said most women do not take notice of a scantily clad woman passing by (implying most men r homo)

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

``You get the mental image of boys in the playground, pulling girls’ braids, or throwing frogs at them in an attempt to make them scream with fright...``

heLL noooo!!!!!!!! when you`ve lived in karachi for 23 years, learnt the art of dodging idle hands that conveniently find a place on your butt or your boobs, slapped men for rubbing their privates with feverish delight every time they see something that looks remotely like a woman....Eve-teasing DOES NOT conjure an image that resembles the braid-pulling episode that you mentioned

rgds,
samina

i think Urstruly has a good point and i hope some female here having decent size of breast can eloborate the inside feeling .....
....gils really want a guy to cros by looking down and without checking her figures?

and when boys are stocking them how much superiority they feel?

I remember once `` Faryal Gauhar`` said `` i liked when ppl flurt with me, they ask unappropriate questions, this make me feel important``.

#13 by AmericanExpress

{Unfortunately for fantisizer ,Madhuri is pregnant}

Amex

whats wrong with fantsizing a pregnent woman....i think thts make her more hot & suxy......:)

What I find interesting how low-class, cheap behaviour (harassment of women on the street) is referred by some Pakistani reporting on such cases in english newspapers by the pompous cliche ``eve teasing``. I am waiting for the day when they learn to speak straight, and refer to such incidents ``harassment of women on the street``, or even (in case it goes beyond passing remarks and involves physical contact) ``physical assault``?
PS: If it helps make you feel better, sometimes these lowlife get theirs: I know one fellow who used his dog chain to bring down from their motorbike and a couple of such lowlife who were bothering his sister as she went out for a walk.

#18 by Ashok

{My example of truely islamic culture if practiced as in Saudie etc where marriage age is lower & compulsory is ANOTHER ways of achieving civil behaviour .Go in any Arab country u wont see badtameeze like Delhi ,Kanpur Kanpur }

the Gulf countries are totally diffrent from INDIA, PAKISTAN,,,,,their economy, systems, population are totllay diffrent from our society. If we follow the practice of early marriages someone like Bina Shah will write about it by saying that women forced to early marriages and its been opposed severl time on the pages of Chowk and other forums. Other factor is economy....normally no male get financial stability to afford marriage in our society before the age of 25.

Great write up. Reminded me of my eve-teasing days.......aaahh those were they days (sigh).

On a serious note, I think too much of everything is bad, especially when it treads into the boundries of psychosis but to be honest with you if boys stop eve-teasing girls, the girls will suffer more from the psychological problems. As a matter of fact the less eve-teased girls usually develope inferiority complex about their breasts etc. and they resort to adam-teasing to get the attention they want........ahhhh the adam-teasing (sigh)...that reminded me of the days when I used to be subjected to adam-teasing from the ``frustrated`` girls (sigh).....aaahh those were the days...(sigh)

`` yaad-e-maazi azab hai ya rab
cheen lay mujh say hafiza mera``

and does anyone remembers Ghalib`s

``chair khoobaaN say chali jaaye Assad.......

or that of Mir Taqi Mir

``Itnay say qad peh qayyamat shareer ho.....


hmmmmm eve teasing (Its a Homer-ish hmmmmm)

Thank you, Bina. I believe it is very important to make public all this information which is otherwise repressed in the name of modesty. I too have heard horror stories of the way female classmates are treated when they go out shopping.

I have a monotrack mind or you, who can`t find his nose without asking for help from those dimwitted arabs? you solve street harassment of women by locking up young girls inside men`s houses and pushing them back by 1400 years?

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

# 16 {As a psycho sexual desensitization experiment boys should touch girls in a chapeorened situation to get used to it}

or both boys and girls should be brought up believing that they belong to the same planet. Too subtle for someone who believes in keeping his women covered under black shuttlecocks robes? This hydra is a real weed.

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

I think in a lawless poor society, all sort of crimes flourish. Isolating just one crime is wrong.

Take incest, for example. The fact that incest is under-reported in pakistan, does not mean that it does not happen. If different and weird euphemism is used for it, it also tells a lot about ``crimes of shame`` that we do not want to acknowledge or face. Compared to incest, eve-teasing or sexual harassment is not that big thing.

there r many reasons y sexual harassment is on the rise. Madhuri and Krishna on cable TV is just one reason. The other reason is that women`s participation in national life is increasing. Their mobility has increased a lot, and hence more exposure. Do we want to create a tribal society in cities?

Take any advanced country, and u will see that sexual harassment is a price that women have to pay for their independence. It is much like massive layoffs and no job secuorties in a complete free market economics. u know the risks and u r willing to take it for better good.

Why sexual harassment is more in pakistan? it is a lawless society in transition, it is poor, there r no socially accepted channels/institutions (prostitution, strip clubs, dance clubs, dating, etc.) that can take place of a stable institution like marriage. Go to any fast food restaurant in pakistan, and u will see it is being used as social club for dating.

Having said this, what can be done? There is no one answer to root out sexual harassment in particular. Everything depends on evolution of society according to its economics. We gotta get rid of religous bull$hits and traditional institutions. We have to make sure that policing is not used just for anti-riot purpose in pakistan, but for the greater good of maintaining law and order with the civilian perspective. Any other way?

Ashok: What makes you say that this doesn`t happen in any other Muslim country? As for non-Muslim countries, India certainly has its fair share of problems in this regard, but lets talk about America for a second. Like every country in the world it has its cases of sexual harassment, generally though the types of harrassment will vary, copping feels in public is far less common.


I`ve never been to Pakistan, but let me share a couple of experiences I had when visiting India. It was impossible to go anywhere without being stared or leered at, it was like I was the first woman they`d seen, on the couple of occasions I was rode a bus in the Jallundur district of Punjab, I was physically manhandled in an obviously sexual manner, on a bus so crowded it was difficult to tell who the culprit was, if there was only one. On my 3 day journey from Punjab to Maharastra, it was awful, I lost count of the times, someone let their hand slip.


In comparison, in all the hundreds of buses I have been on in England and Canada, only once did someone cross the line, and he too happened to be from some Eastern country.


Media has its share of blame maybe, but in a country like the USA where sexual images and innunendo are far far more common, hell, sex is used to sell everything from candy to tooth floss, it seems that most men are able to control their sexual urges even when confronted by Eve in a mall, marketplace or on the bus, even though she is wearing a lot less than the burqua.

Bina !! a good job at bringing out a shadowy problem to light. people often dont like to talk about it but this phenomenon is even more frequent than load shedding.

However, i would like to ask, if you can highlight how this problem can be remedied. I am sure it has nothing to do with education as people from all starta can be found involved in this stuff. I see it stemming from moral decadance of an entire nation! Now how do u remedy that?? i dont think there is a way. ofcourse the onslaugth of cable, internet is also responsible in part to speed up the process.

Mullah`s solution even though simplistic .. may work.. provided that the environment is made conducive for young couples to find sufficient means of sustenance.

I would like to look at it in a more abstract manner. I think all our social problems like jahez, shadi, illiteracy, impoverishment and many more including the one u discussed arise from economic problems. lets hyphothesize here.. if a young boy or girl after recieving a decent education can find a good job.. i think they would be inclined towards getting married to someone of their or their family`s choice. Moreover, better economics is the key to empower the young generation with independence.. this leads to breaking away from the stranglehold of taboos, upheld by their parents.

We have all read and heard a lot about ``aurat ka istehsal`` in our society. That too arise from economic dependence of a female on her father, brother or husband. I think, given a cheaper education system and good economic infrastructure.. more and more girls could see wht they can achieve by putting in some effort. hell!! i would do anything to get a job of 25000 Rs/month.

Keep writing.. i really like your articles, both here and in dawn

M