Shammo&#8217;s Curse

#14 Posted by scout on December 10, 2002 8:26:04 pm

good story, just some friendly amateur advice, it was hard on the eyes to read longgggggggggggggggggggggggggg paragraphs

next time, break into paragraphs more.

hope to read more of you

#13 Posted by Punjaban on December 10, 2002 7:43:16 pm

Very original and beautifully told.

#12 Posted by Maula_Jat on December 10, 2002 7:42:58 pm

Mr. Ibrahim,
Good stuff. Please keep sharing. Here are some disjointed thoughts. It typically takes 3-5 years after marraige to start pontificating the way you have. So how long has it been for you? Also, what`s the deal with electricity/loadshedding/ connection...
MJ
on a lighter note, heard this one the other day.....people who live in glass houses should undress in the dark.....

#11 Posted by rozaiba on December 10, 2002 7:42:58 pm

aamir,

this was an excellent piece.

are you living in Lahore? cause you naturally reveal the old city scenes.

this was a unique and `different` story. and you explored it really well.

#10 Posted by Ras on December 10, 2002 7:42:57 pm

Now this is what I call great writing.....

Welcome to CHOWK aamir ibrahim. And I for one hope that

we will see you back here often.

Ras

#9 Posted by Pakfin on December 10, 2002 2:33:01 pm

Does it seem like ``Deja vu`` to some??

#8 Posted by FJ on December 10, 2002 12:41:59 pm

This was fantastic. True to life, amazing imagery, dialogs and emotions. One can relate to it cent per cent.

#7 Posted by sajidmalik on December 10, 2002 10:10:30 am

Impressive. This story takes a pedestrian plot and using vivid imagery and powerful language turns it into a compelling narrative. I hope that we get to read more of such stories. Aamir Ibrahim, keep writing (and thanks for the your effort).

#6 Posted by fara on December 10, 2002 7:50:06 am

aamir
wonderfull description of eveyrthing, the scenario...feelings...emotions...characters. reminds me of...

#5 Posted by ahi441313 on December 10, 2002 7:50:06 am

the story came from my mind - and from the suffering of many unheard voices.

and yes, I am a male:)

#4 Posted by Vish on December 10, 2002 7:50:06 am

Great stuff. This is certainly not complete yet. Give me more dope on this, quickly.

#3 Posted by kashaziz on December 10, 2002 7:50:05 am

very good and original

#2 Posted by i-am-the-cheese on December 10, 2002 12:44:18 am

aamir ibrahim
this was brilliant, positively brilliant, in terms of insight....are you sure youre a male? :) closely aware of someone in the absolute same position, im amazed at how youve brought about the takleef, the loss, the indifference, the defeat and the stupendous double standard that pops out in due time
please interact and tell, if u can, where this came from
regards

#1 Posted by Saminasha on December 9, 2002 6:36:51 pm

Interesting...