Saveray Jo Kal Aankh Meri Khuli

Mr. Gill
It is great that you have undertaken this task of translation.This is a good one, for sure. I sincerely hope that some of the english knowing(?) illiterates would start learning urdu----a language which they are `proud` not to know or of which they feign ignorance.
Pity, these colonial clones. The most wretched bunch that crawls on earth. The blacks, though chained ,never surrendered their minds whereas these miserable wrecks gloat about the acquisition of their own-slavery ---on debt, to boot.

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Mohammad:

Thanks for this and please do not be disheartened by the comments. Please continue to grace the chowk with more transaltions.

rgds,


..t

Mr Gill

you are doing superb job by translating one of the best classic of Urdu. Ahmed Shah Bukhari`s tiny book give us best taste of humor and satire. Please keep going.

Gill saheb,
Please keep it coming.It is never too much where Pitrus is concerned.The only drawback is that he died too early and did not leave enough to satiate his readers.
Regards.

Ghalib-e-Zaman saheb,

her ek baat pe kahte ho tum ke too kya hai
tumhi kaho ke ye andaz-e-guftagoo kya hai

Dear Interactors:

Thanks for your appreciation. For me it`s a kind of diversion, to while away my leisure time whenever I get it. Pitrus had a great sense of humour. He was a very learned man and a great teacher. Although I did not have any personal connection with him, I hold him in great respect all the same. I`ve tried to pay a little tribute to him by translating a couple of his essays and sharing them with you.

Iqbal had addressed his poem, ``Aik Sayyidzade Kay Naam``, to (Professor) Ahmad Shah Bukhari. Wishing you all well,

Mohammad Gill

Amazing work!

Like a serving of fine wine.

Ras

Banjaara saheb: # 5

RagoN mein daurtay phirnay kay hum naheeN Qua-el
jubb aankh hee sey naa tapkaa, tO phir lahoo kya hai

andaaz e guftgoo nay dhokay diyay hain varna
naghmaa hai boo e bulbul, boo phool kee sada hai .

aadab urz hai.

Iqbal had addressed his poem, ``Aik Sayyidzade Kay Naam``, to (Professor) Ahmad Shah Bukhari.

THE title of that poem is `` Aik FALSAFA-zada syedzaaday kay naam``

meaning: To a philosophy-smitten offspring of a Syed.

Iqbal wrote syed-zaaday. with a purpose.

and the first couplet, roughly translated, is:

Had you not so lost your own self-realisation
You might not have tethered yourself to Bergson.

Correction:# 7

Please read CHEHEK instead of SADA

andaaz e guftgoo nay dhokay diyay hain varna
naghmaa hai boo e bulbul, boo phool kee CHEHEK hai.

Apologies.

[ #1 by GhalibZaman on December 14, 2002 9:30pm PT
...
I sincerely hope that some of the english knowing(?) illiterates would start learning urdu----a language which they are `proud` not to know or of which they feign ignorance.
Pity, these colonial clones. The most wretched bunch that crawls on earth. The blacks, though chained ,never surrendered their minds whereas these miserable wrecks gloat about the acquisition of their own-slavery ---on debt, to boot. ]

GhalibZaman and others, is there a Urdu dictionary in which words are written in tranliteration and arranged according to the labguage of transliteration? What I mean is for example, if English is language of transliteration then word order of following words is correct:

andaaz
boo
bulbul
chehek
dhokay
diyay
-e-
guftagoo
hai
hain
kee
naghmaa
phool
varna

If Hindi (in Devnagari script) is used then following will be the correct word order:

andaaz
-e-
kee
guftagoo
chehek
diyay
dhokay
naghmaa
phool
bulbul
boo
varna
hai
hain

If there is such a dictionary I would really appreciate information on it. I want to buy both for a local library (I live in US) as well as a personal copy.

Thanks, -ew

Mohammad Gill,

The story has some expressions in Urdu. It would be great if you give their translation either interpolating in main text or as footnotes. If there is an expression which has special connotation (say for muslims) then these should also be given.

The story is good. It would be interesting to read the original, but I am bound by constraint of not knowing urdu. If transliterated in devanagari I can read and understand most of it provided not many hardcore urdu words are used. In translation sometimes original`s meanings and freshness is lost and when author is writing humor comedy loses its effectiveness, but without knowing original your translation seems to have preserved comic effects author wanted to convey.

Thanks for this translation, and looking forward to more from you.

-ew

Regarding einsteinwalla`s comments in feedback#11
.
As many of you realise, translating a story, an essay or any other piece of writing from one language into another is quite difficult because sometime you don`t find a good equivalent expression that can preserve the exact essence of the original writing. Translating a piece of poetry is absolutely challenging. I encountered such difficult situations in ``Saveray Jo..`` where I found myself almost helpless. A more knowledgable person could surely have done a better job. But you konw, ``only fools (like me) walk in where angels fear to tread``. For example, I translated ``ameer zadey`` as ``progeny of the rich``, which is really shallow and insipid. It conveys the literal sense but is not ``expressive`` and ``fluent`` enough. Similarly, Pitrus had used a line of a ghazal ``balayain zulf-e-jaanan ki agar latet tau hum latey`` in Saveray jo ..., which I translated as ``If anybody were to yearn for caressing the beloved`s tresses, it would be me``. As an afterthought, I should have left it alone and used the original Urdu line.

I have been reading Pitrus kay Mazameen from time to time for the last so many years. Every time when I read his essays, I enjoy them. With all my shortcomings as a translator, I tried to share the joy of reading Pitrus with the Chowk readers.

Next time, if I tried my hand at translating something, I`ll remember to reproduce the original Urdu lines with the translation also, where I found myself lacking in skills. Was`salam,

Mohammad Gill

#12 freethinker:

Please do not be so hard on yourself. You have really done an admirable job and I look forward that you continue to bring here more such gems from urdu literature.

CHOWK provides us a good opportunity to whet & hone our hobby-skills. Anyone here who takes himself seriously as a `writer` or `author` must be a rotting cultural-cadaver volunteering for dissection.
No one deliberately ventures out to creates `literature`. No wonder phD or professor types are the worst in when it comes to creative writing. Poor clock-punchers of the human condition.

#11 by einsteinwallah

Sorry buddy!
Somehow I had skipped this post of yours, hence the delay.

No, unfortunately I am not aware of any such book/s. In fact, this is something completely new for me and I am indebted to you to have lessened my ignorance.

Since I have gleaned from your posts ( I hope correctly) that there is a poet in you ( one does not even have to compose verse to be poet), here is one for you to savour:

Shuqque ho gayaa hai seena khushaa lazzat e firaque
Takleef e purdah-daariyay zakhm-e jigar gayee.

tr:
My heart is finally torn & wrecked, and this is so much better. I do not have to look out-wardly cheerful anymore & hide the pain caused gnawing ulcers because of my secret ( & unrequited) love
for you.

This stuff is great. I shall eagerly wait for more translated works. But I must say one thing, there is something in every language that can not expressed when translated into another language. For example, if you were to translate `Chachha Chakkan ney khat likkha`, how would you translate the saqeel urdu wala khat itself?
Greatly appreciated nevertheless. Keep it coming.

Syd

Gill saheb -- great translation -- Pitrus was a genius -- All India Radio and Pakistan Radio kept him away from written humor -- he was unequalled in that -- his classic was KuttoN ka mushaira -- if I remember it correctly -- if you can find it please try translating it for non Urdu folks.

great piece.

regards