Wanderings in the Twilight Zone

SSS:

Thanks.

The `couch-confession` is getting better. Lot of new info. for me, and perhaps for a lot of muslims, even from India, as well. This is an area where CHOWK can be of immense value. Hindus, practising & proud hindus, and not apologetic hindus or ``I`m-not-a-bloody-hindu``-type `modern` , secularist, or commie `hindoos`.

For some reason this reminds me of the Razors Edge, Vikram Seth (Phul mela), and Dev Mehta ----all mixed but not stirred.

SSS, your impressions are sketchy but not far-fetched, and The King`s Gambit is regrettable.

Folks, I am grateful to all of you for your comments and feedback.

#9 by Saminasha:

No, I have not yet read either “A Gesture Life” by Chang Rae Lee or Richard Burton’s book on depression. My wife and I, both had read a translation of his translation of the Arabian Nights though, and I hope to follow up on your suggestion.

I suppose the relationship between mental illness and creativity exists even at the semantic level. Both are about crossing boundaries. “Abnormal” behavior is about breaking accepted norms which themselves are transient, so what seems crazy today may be acceptable tomorrow. And creativity is about noticing or interpreting existing concepts and things differently, or giving expression to something entirely new.

IMO the relationship between an artist and craziness can be readily experienced when you see the famous Van Gogh exhibit at Madame Tussaud`s (I saw it in Amsterdam). The old man is furiously at work at his aisle in a dark, dirty and dusty place, and only his eyes are highlighted by a beam of light ostensibly coming from some crack in the ceiling. The creative intensity in those eyes is crazy and frightening. Even before seeing that exhibit and a painting that may have inspired it, I have felt uneasy and disturbed every time I saw a Van Gogh. You can feel the power of his art.

A more recent example is that of Bobby Fischer, the greatest Chess player ever. Reported to have an phenomenal IQ of 180, he lives in exile in Tokyo, has a US warrant pending for his arrest for breaking he USG directive not to play against Spassky in Yugoslavia in 1992, gives anti-Semitic interviews on radio shows, and is assumed by many contemporaries as having gone off his rocker. There is an excellent article about his obviously Bipolar Disorder episodes in the December 2002 issue of “The Atlantic” monthly. He too has suffered from long bouts of manic depression, paranoia, persecution complex lasting years at a time. On the other hand, when he was on his high, he was at his creative best, demolishing the world’s greatest grandmasters with ridiculous ease.


Yildrim #10:

And before you think otherwise, let me state that I am gave the above examples merely to express my agreement with Saminasha’s point about artistic creativity and mental illness. It is not my intent to attribute any specific “greatness” to the author whose writing this thread is about. ;)

Seriously, I do understand your reaction to Shashank’s writing. Many of us in his immediate and extended family as well as friends circle, have gone through similar emotions and reactions ourselves over the years. Many of us still find it hard to understand, much less look at his past without feeling exasperated or angry. Over the years, my own view has changed significantly to the extent that I am no longer critical, only deeply saddened by the waste of a bright mind and the hurt to many affected individuals.

And yes, I have learned by now that Bipolar Disorder is something to be taken seriously. If this publication results in a few more people learning about it in whatever way, something good would have come out of it.

#11 by Studebaker

No, Sir. I am not Prem / Eklavya. And to support the validity of that statement, I’d say that I admire his well thought out postings very much, and wish he would write articles on Chowk himself. (The real Prem / Eklavya would not say anything to praise himself, you would agree.)

#12 by sac

Your point is drastically illustrated but I understand it. However, its relevance to the present case is not entirely clear to me. First of all, I am not sure that untreatable brain ailments such as Bipolar Disorder can be equated either with purely emotional problems which are treatable, or with purely physical problems which may or may not be treatable.

I am familiar with at least three separate cases of Bipolar Disorder patients in India. In its early stages, these Bipolar Disorder patients had the same concerns that you as an ADD patient expressed. I have seen the progression of their efforts to meet those concerns over time. Starting with denial of the existence of the problem, through working extra hard to overcome the problems through bigger and more risky endeavors, they went through aggressively projecting he source of the problems to others i.e. eventually becoming paranoids, to manipulating others to provide what they could not earn for themselves and their dependents, to losing all pretense of dignity and dying destitute. My cousin was lucky in the sense that he had access to medical care and financial support, and did not have to die homeless. But he did suffer many hardships and indignities that too many other patients in India probably suffer due to systemic ignorance and callousness common to a third world country. His natural independent instincts turned out, in a way, to be his enemies.

What I do not know is whether or not my impressions described above are valid, or whether they are farfetched. I hope that those who know more about these illnesses will find time to contribute a few lines.

#13 by FJ: Thank you for these clarifications. Appreciate your input.

#14 by Scout: Appreciate you saying that. As I said previously, I have gone through some of those thoughts and emotions myself, and know the sincerity behind them.

#15 by Akber:

Thank you. All chapters are already with Chowk editors, and they will publish them in due course. Looks like they have published the next installment as we speak.

I’d like to add that when I got the manuscript, it was not titled by the author. I had to name it before sending it to Chowk. I am grateful for the “spotlight” attention they have given to Shashank’s memoirs.

#16 by Banjaara:

I’d love to read the old stories you refer to (``Qalila-wa-Dimnah``). Is there an English version to be found?

#17 by GhalibZaman:

Aapne yaad dilaaya tho humeN yaad aaya...

There is an evergreen Marathi stage play called “Tujhe Aahe Tuj-pashee...” written by the famous PL Deshpande who died a couple of years back.. It is full of laughs, and yet poignant at the end. The title is taken from the first line of a philosophical couplet, which is very close to what you have quoted – You yourself have what you are looking for; only you have been searching in all the wrong places.

#18 by Urstruly:

Looks like Chowk editors have acted on your recommendation. Thanks. BTW, your response can be misread in terms of the quality of “The King’s Gambit”. I know you do not mean it that way, of course. Hopefully, when Chowk will publishes the next installment of that novel, they will also include links to the earlier portions below it, like you suggest here. That will make it easy for all of us to pick up on the narrative so far. I think it happened because the authors themselves are submitting the portions one-by-one.

#19 by Sadna:

I think I should wait to talk about what you say till the rest of the story is published. But I recall you had, in the context of “Yaksha-Prashna”, asked for articles about the challenges of bringing up an inquisitive child in the face of uncontrollable external influences. By coincidence, Shashank’s narrative covers that ground in some way, and contains many psychologically significant events from his childhood. What is more interesting it that although many of us in the same extended family went through the same or similar experiences, the impact on us has not been identical, or even close.

#20 by rozaiba: Thanks for your kind words. I think you will like what follows as well.

This is a very nice tale. It`s hard to write with simplicity. Very nice.

IMO, expiation for a child must come from his parents and elders, a child knows when/what he has done wrong but is often not mature enough to understand what to do to redeem himself in his own eyes.

That may result in childhood guilt being carried over to adulthood which is sad because this guilt resulted from the inadequacy of those adults around him to resolve/settle for him, his own infarctions. Any sense of atonement may not make him free of guilt until he understands this, I am thinking.

You tell me where this thesis fits in wrt karma:).

Dear Chowk Staff

This is great piece of writing; would it be possible to create links to the other parts at the bottom of this part. The other serialized novellete ``The Kings Gambit`` so far has been nothing but a disaster.

banjaara sheb: # 16

Aur phir aap shikayat krtay hain kay BJP zaalim hay. Arrey bhai Panchtantra kay hotay huay yeh kaleela O Damana kee kyaa tuuk hai?

Buss yahee meri guzarish hai, chahay voh angraizee sey ho ya arabi sey. Upnaa putaa bhool kar doosray kay tavussat set upnaa ghar dhoondnaa.

Hurr ajnabee sey poochha , jo putaa thaa upney ghar kaa.

(I asked for my home-address from every passing stranger)

The simplicity and its efectiveness reminds me of the stories in ``Qalila-wa-
Dimnah`` the arab classic of the 9th century.Looking forward to the rest of the story. Thank you SSS.

amazing story,

cant wait to read the rest of it ..

So SSS when ur gonna post the next part .. ??????????

thank you, SSS for sharing this with us. dont` be discouraged by people who start making judgements about the author and you without paying attention to the actual writing style, which is very interesting and as FJ pointed out, a simple directness.

Yildrin, it is in vogue to flaunt it but like Studebaker said true bipolar is painful. It is a genetic illness with long-term effects on the brain coupled with psychological state of mind. Without proper mood stabilizers it can worsen, plus there is no cure for it.

Norman Mailer in the 70s became an apologist for a gifted convicted murderer. He thought the guy had literary talents that justified his release. The `gifted` murderer was released and a couple of hours into his televised interview he recanted his confession. A short while later he killed someone again...................................................

My point is that disregarding someone`s actions affecting other people to focus on their creative endeavours on the basis of some emotional and physical malady is somewhat dumb. I am not interested in someone else
`s bipolar disorder. I have my own Attention deficit disorder to deal with, put food on the table and force myself not to run through red lights on deserted intersections..................................

later
-sac

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Everyone I know in the States has bipolar disorder. Its in vogue to suffer from it. Hell, when I was 17, my university counselor diagnosed me with it. You don`t see me going around pontificating and then simply stating that the reason I should be heard is b/c I suffer. Pain is not an opposition to life. Suffering is a part of it. You dont live in the most stressful time ever. I feel remorse for your loss and sympathy too but I don`t appreciate the expectation that his greatness is somehow associated with his victimization (if you can even call it that). I think that is demeaning to him. I know it would be to me.

Dear SSS,

Many artists could be classified as manic; I wonder what the relationship between mental illness and creativity is...have you read medieval English author Richard Burton`s book on Depression? Its a satirical encyclopaedia in which he posits that to be human is to be ill in some way or another....and authorial license is authorial license, whether its memoir, New Journalism, fiction or essays...

Looking forward to the next installment. Its lovely that you are honoring your relative this way.

Saminasha, Urstruly, Yildrim, Einsteinwallah, and FJ

I grew up with Shashank Lele during a time when people did not lock up their houses, slept out in the courtyard during the hot summer nights, the joint family system was very common, and children passed through neighbor’s houses like little whirlwinds and ate in whichever home they happened to be at supper time. It was fun to be children then. And because of these memories, it is difficult for me to judge Shashank either as a person or as a writer. What all of you have discerned in his writing is probably correct to a significant extent.

Yildrim: I am no professional in these matters, but AFAIK, the most obvious symptoms of Bipolar Disorder are long debilitating episodes of mood swings between one extreme of manic depression involving a tremendous sense of guilt, inadequacy and insecurity, and the other extreme of euphoric restlessness, self-confidence, delusions of grandeur, and arrogance. Each episode leaves an impact on your physical health, and that impact may be aggravated by how the patient was treated medically and otherwise in his time of need. In between those episodes, there may be periods of clarity and tranquility, where the patient may wonder what it was all about. Shashank’ writing is therefore likely to show glimpses of a personality that has been there all across the spectrum.

We live in the most stressful times ever, and I understand this ailment is widespread also in India, although perhaps not as adequately recognized and sympathetically treated as over here in the USA. After all we are a billion plus people, crammed in an area less than a third in size of the United States. Perhaps there are readers who can shed some light on these matters.

To answer Saminasha’s question, I’d say that the writing is primarily autobiographical and honet in intent. But it could have been influenced by his sickness to some extent. I am personally sure about the accuracy of his references to the early childhood event he refer to.

FJ, thank you for your comment on Shashank’s writing. You seem to say that this is directly related to the disease. I thought writing style is a skill that he happened to have, and put it to use to record what was very important to his survival.

EW, I have read SFR, and liked Mashruwalla’s comments. An old Dutch friend of mine put the same question to me when Om Puri’s “Akrosh” was televised in the Netherlands. “Why didn’t he fight?” was the question. My friend believed that the roots lay in the difference between the Christian faith which gives you the freedom to choose and holds you responsible for your actions, and the Hindu faith which tells you that your actions are preordained. He did not seem to think that the theory of Karma implied a certain ability to decide for your own. Anyway, the Greeks also believed in Nemesis and inevitability of destiny, and I know my Muslim friends will instinctively say ‘Inshallah’ in response to a simple “See you tomorrow”. And then there are theories that say that say that religious precepts themselves may have been influenced by geography, and environmental conditions where the religion was founded. But coming back to the present author who was very iconoclastic since his childhood, I wonder. Perhaps the simplest explanation is in term of one’s second identity crisis. Perhaps Devdas also suffered from Bipolar Disorder, which crossed all boundaries, religious, economical and geographic. . I just don’t know.

SSS