Wanderings in the Twilight Zone

As Shashank’s “Wanderings” move into Chowk Archives, I want to thank all of you who read the memoirs, whether or not you participated in the interaction that followed. Hopefully this publication has generated some interest in the illness and will result in better understanding of it. To some of the family members, just reading your interacts has helped, perhaps better than the well meaning condolence visits that tend to be like an emotional roller-coaster.

GhalibZaman (#36-38)

Sir, you do not just look, you see. Bhai maan gaye!

Knowing Shashank, I would not put it past him that he deliberately planted that dig about expatriates. But it could have been a typo that his companion and friend introduced while typing from his scribbled manuscript. Whatever the reason, your pointing it out sure helps clear some of the blues. Thank you.

The Sanskrit word “Sanjeevani” roughly translates to an attribute that gives (or renews) life. The word is typically used as an adjective qualifying a noun.

There are two separate references to “Sanjeevani” in the Hindu epics Mahabharata and Ramayana. The former includes the tale of Shukracharya, who possessed the Sanjeevani “Vidya” or the Sanjeevani knowledge / science. The Ramayana refers to the Sanjeevani “bootie” that had to be fetched from a far away mountain in the Himalayas to revive Lord Rama’s brother Laxman, who was struck down by Rawana’s son Indrajit. So you were right about Sanjeevani being a life giving herb. :)

I believe Pataal to be a word of Sanskrit origin. There are supposed to be seven levels of Pataal, the seventh being the worst and the lowest. The word equivalent to the Greek “Hedes” you refer to (of Orpheus and Euridice fame?) would be “Narak” i.e. Hell. In the context of Pataal being the abode of Rakshasas or Demons, we should merely take it to mean the nether lands (no disrespect to my Dutch friends).

Sadna (#39)

At the risk of putting my foot in the mouth again, let me say that I think Shashank’s memoirs can also be looked at in terms of the second identity crisis that humans are expected to face in the later phase of their life. Unlike the first crisis that occurs between adolescence and adulthood, the second is supposed to occur at a much later stage, when one has arrived at the end of a productive life, and one’s physical limitations have started to assert themselves.

With no worthwhile physical ability at his command, and perhaps without even the desire to make a difference, the adult is left to brood over the past and ruminate over the “wrong” choices and decisions he made at critical junctures. “What if” and “If only” kind of thoughts haunt him during this stage. Not even the most “successful” of adults are exempt from this feeling of having wasted opportunities and having done wrong. Guilt, frustration and sadness become your companions. Religion, spirituality, priests, and yes, even the “shrinks” become useful. A small percent of people manage to make peace with themselves a second time, on their own.

Shashank’s illness had left him a physical wreck, although his brain could work feverishly, aided by his Bipolar Disorder. His most redeeming characteristic to me, was his strong desire to understand his actions, choices, and decisions, and to exercise his writing talent to get to the root of his problems. In that quest, the ordinary concerns like shame became irrelevant. I do like to think that he resolved his second identity crisis ably, on his own, and despite all his limitations and handicaps.

Sincerely,
SSS

SSS #35
``If parents are to be held responsible for the resolution of all the guilt conflicts of the child, when does the child ever become an “adult”?``

``The first identity crisis is supposed to happen when brushes with reality shatter the comfortable cocoon of values the individual had built for himself, and a successful resolution of that crisis is supposed to make for a harmonious adult``

SSS, you put this very well indeed. I agree with you this is the normal process. Spoilt brats get too much cocooning and take longer to become harmonious adults. And there are situations in which adults are more unrelenting towards a child than is good for the health of a child`s self-esteem and that takes extra living down. Then there are external situations(such as divorced parents, extreme poverty or civil unrest) where coming to terms with reality is more challenging. And there is also the internal reason, that of a psychiatric disorder. Whatever the reason, its sad if an adult feels guilt for his actions in childhood.

Perhaps you know of them already, but if you haven`t, you might like KM Munshi`s Krishnavatara in 7 volumes(Bhavan`s University)

#35:SSS
More:

I always thought that sanjeevnee bootie is found on Kailaash. And in my opinion Pataal is not hades but the lowest point ON Prithvi.

Is pataal farsee, pehlvee or sanskrit? Anyone.

Ramayana says: `` amrbootyaan barfeelay pahaaron pur miltee hain aur jeevan kitnaa kathhin hai`` or words not exactly thus.

#32
Dair sey aankh pey utraa naheeN ashkoN kaa azaab
upnay zimmay hai tiraa Qarz naa jaanay kubb sey.

PS: You tough task-master. Thanks.

#35:SSS
Seldom a nitpicker, I usualy gloss over typos or grammar ,of which I do not lay claim to any fame anyway, but just could not let this one pass for the sheer brilliance of it.
Vive la mistake!

A faux pas, mistake, or typo ( or none of the above):
Jo bhee ho tum, khudaa kee Qasam lajavaab ho.

From chapter:12

......In America I had met only /ex-patriot Indians and watched Oprah Winfrey on television.

PS: and thanks for your kind ``critique``.

GhalibZaman (#25, #31) and Urstruly (#32)
That is some compliment, GZ Sahib. Passionate, and also, like Urstruly says, exquisite prose. The late author would have liked it. I particularly liked the phrase “steeped in the ecology of Indian-ness and Hindu-ness”. The interesting thing is that Shashank’s earlier writing rarely expressed an awareness of that ecology. In his early years, he used to be critical of certain aspects of it that he considered wrong or irrelevant in the modern context. Did it mean that he saw everything wrong about the ancient society? No, I think he merely criticized what he could not accept, and like most young men, overlooked the positive aspects that he would appreciate much later. I guess one has to pay for wisdom by way of age and experience.

I think your statement “Until & Unless Paki-Indis get themselves exorcised of the demons colonising their minds nothing worthwhile can happen” merits reflection. One must be comfortable with one’s own identity and heritage before one can make peace with the diversity that others bring to the neighborhood.

AmericanExpress (#28)
Thank you for that interesting input. It is not surprising, considering that Bengalis have traditionally been at the forefront of experimentation and reform in the Indian society. Their lead in creative and performing arts has inspired the work of many famous Maharashtrians.

Westwind (#30)
Appreciate your saying so. Autobiographical writing, as a form, is tricky. If you are too open about your mistakes, some readers don’t like it. If you are tactful, others accuse you of dishonesty. In the end, such writing is best undertaken to understand oneself, and the why and wherefore of one’s actions. “The Story of My Experiments with Truth” had a profound impact on me for the author’s sheer sincerity in trying to validate of his assumptions behind every action of his. Many thought the author to be Quixotic, others called him a pervert. They did not see that his single minded pursuit of “truth” elevated him from an ordinary Indian to a Mahatma, in the process giving hope to even the most wretched.

Sadna (#33, #19)
I believe that autobiographical writing, particularly when not written with a view to publish, can have a therapeutic value. Writing one’s daily diary was a good habit encouraged in the old days. It gave one the opportunity to confront oneself , a kind of Gestalt, if you like. I lost interest, like many of my generation, because we were overburdened by the loads of “homework” to improve our handwriting. It simply did not leave us interested in writing something nobody else was likely to read – and Gestalt was not known to most of us then. ;)

My understanding of the Freudian stages of a child’s emotional growth is significantly different from what you seem to suggest in #19. If parents are to be held responsible for the resolution of all the guilt conflicts of the child, when does the child ever become an “adult”? The supposed progression from infant to an adult in harmony with himself is explained in terms of the id, ego, superego ... the last mentioned being where the child begins to exercise an independent judgement against the framework of values given by the “parents”. The first identity crisis is supposed to happen when brushes with reality shatter the comfortable cocoon of values the individual had built for himself, and a successful resolution of that crisis is supposed to make for a harmonious adult. But let me not go and put a foot in my mouth. I am sure there are others far better qualified to respond to your point. FJ? Shankar??

Thank you for quoting the passage from Yayati - Devayani. I understand it far better today than when I last read it. BTW, I also have Rajgopalachari’s Mahabharata which we bought for our son, and have shared it with a senior Pakistani friend of mine. He has an enormous interest in the two Indian classics, and asks me probing questions that require quite an effort to meaningfully respond to. Incidentally, he was an Officer serving in East Pakistan in 1971, and spent some time in India as a POW. What is amazing is that he bears no grudge towards India or Indians. Both he and his wife have been very kind to us always, and sincere and balanced in their appreciation or critique of the many contentious issues between the two neighbors.

Einsteinwallah (#34) Thank you EW for pointing these errors out. I had noticed them, but did not correct them myself for reasons you guessed correctly. I will send an email to Chowk to correct the mistakes.

Sincerely,
SSS

For now I limit myself to two spelling errors. Somewhere ``west`` is used where ``vest`` should have been used. Somewhere ``wine`` is used where ``vine`` should have been used.

Also chapter 10 is included twice.

Someone may object that one must not change original text. But Shashank Lele would have this errors pointed out to him by proof readers of his publishers. So it is okay to change.

-ew

SSS
Its a privilege to share the writer`s experiences, memories and insights. I hope he found some measure of peace in the end.

Someone I know, who takes treatment for a psychological disorder, recently said that, as a Hindu one feels burdened with one`s transgressions, moving into Christianity one gets offered immediate forgiveness, which is a great relief. This person, incidently, is being relieved of a fair amount of money as well, but IMO that would be beside the point if she felt better. Its not clear she does, unfortunately because thats the nature of the beast.

And she and your cousin are not alone. IMO, there are people upon ordinary people seized with the urgency of seeking salvation and absolution. Whether they do it with honesty and self-recollection shown by your cousin in these chapters is another question. There was this report describing valuable gifts left anonymously in the Tirupati temple hundi including diamond jewellery worth lakhs of rupees. And what else motivates multitudes of people to make the trip to the Kumbh Melas, for example.

There were parts in 3 and 4 which I haven`t fully understood. But I enjoyed the writers narration of the stories from the Puranas. Recently I came across this from C Rajagopalachari`s Mahabharata in the Shukracharya- Devayani story:

``Bhagavan Vyasa advises humanity in general in the following words of counsel addressed by Shukracharya to his daughter[Devayani, upset after Yayati refused to marry her and the king`s daughter called her the daughter of a mendicant living on wages of flattery]:

`He conquers the world, who patiently puts up with the abuse of his neighbours. He who controls his anger, as a horseman breaks an unruly horse, is indeed a charioteer and not he who merely holds the rein but lets the horse go whither it would. He who sheds anger just as a snake its slough, is a real hero. He who is not moved despite the greatest torments inflicted by others, will realise his aim. He who never gets angry is superior to the ritualist who faithfully performs for a hundred years the sacrifices ordained by scripture. Servants, friends, brothers, wife, children, virtue and truth abandon the man who gives way to anger...`..``.


PS: Incidentally, you have a good memory :) .

Shorn of westernism and the Paki-Indi english `literature` types who go out of the way to convince us that they `know` english language and culture. I hope the lollypop-burger axis of devil is listening & reading this in Desilands.

This narrative is steeped in the ecology of Indian-ness, Hindu-ness. Not the antiseptic, astringent soul-less commie-leftee-atheist kind of meaningless-meaningfullness. A fie upon those warped-minds! Acurse upon the alternate orificedom. May Allah perish them sooner! Amen

Until & Unless Paki-Indis get themselves exorcised of the demons colonising their minds nothing worhwhile can happen.

This is a sample of an exquisite piece of prose I have read in ages. Welcome Back....

SSS:

Good stuff indeed.

Shorn of westernism and the Paki-Indi english `literature` types who go out of the way to convince us that they `know` english language and culture. I hope the lollypop-burger axis of devil is listening & reading this in Desilands.

This narrative is steeped in the ecology of Indian-ness, Hindu-ness. Not the antiseptic, astringent soul-less commie-leftee-atheist kind of meaningless-meaningfullness. A fie upon those warped-minds! Acurse upon the alternate orificedom. May Allah perish them sooner! Amen

Until & Unless Paki-Indis get themselves exorcised of the demons colonising their minds nothing worhwhile can happen.

A beautisully crafted story with a compact plot............................

AN APPEAL FOR A BOYCOTT.

Dear People,

In the name of humanity and in the name of good conscience I would like to appeal to you to boycott Nestle products from now on. The multinational coffee corporation, Nestle, is demanding a $6m (£3.7m) payment from the government of the world`s poorest state, Ethiopia, as the country struggles to combat its worst famine for nearly 20 years.
The money is compensation for an Ethiopian business, which the previous military government nationalised in 1975. It could feed a million people for a month, according to Oxfam.

Dear People,

Let us not forget that humanity is starving in Africa for no other reason but ruthless loot and plunder of Europeans. People there suffer civil wars, death, hunger, torture, only because Europeans have and still are playing games and looting gold, diamonds and other natural resources without impunity. Let us also not forget the centuries of slavery, prejudice, and apartheid that Europeans have subjected Africans to. And now they have balls to ask for compensation? Only one who should be paying compensation here is the Europeans to the Africans for they are the one who committed crimes against humanity and inflicted inhuman indignity to the Africans.

Dear people!

Just imagine your children and loved ones in place of starving Africans. If you care for humanity; if you care for dignity of a human being you must boycott these capitalist corporate thugs.

Dear people.

Please keep in mind that Nestle is not the only one but 40 other multinational vultures are also hovering above the dying Africans.

Say No to Nestle. Say no to Capitalist Corporate Vultures

http://www.guardian.co.uk/famine/story/0,12128,862655,00.html

Wakil

I do not know Jabbar personally; however, to the best of my knowledge I have read most of the stuff that he has written. I also think that he is one of the most under appreciated writers in Pakistan. His stories represent the very soul of Paksitan - no pretentions - no holds barred - no moral trap - no ideology - nothing but pure emotion. I have read both his ``Badan ka Doz`kh`` and ``Mera Naam MaNgoo Hai``; so you can see that I grew up with him in a sense. Now it has been years that I have read anything from him but I do remember his ``Kutran`` and probably ``Chamgadar`` ( I think it is a short story in Badan ka dozakh, might be mistaken here about the name) ; it was a story about a man who falls in love with a woman at the Data Darbar. Excellent.

Lucky you, that you have the previlige to know him personally.

urstruly #18 and quite non-relevant to it: [With apology from rest of the interactors on this board]

How did you become acquainted with Jabbar Touqeer? I knew him in the 1950s and ... . We may have a friend in common who is no more [1977?].

Or did you become acquainted with him via ``Badan ka Doz`kh`` or, perhaps, ``Mera Naam MaNgoo Hai``. [S.P@USask.ca]

#24 SSS
Yes Ved Mehta. It was a while ago. Can`t recall now. Maybe, the trilogy? Babujee, Matajee etc?

In my last response, while addresing sac`s posting (#12), I have wrongly used the ord ``treatable``. I meant ``curable``.

GhalibZaman Sahib, you have hit the nail on the head when you see these memoirs as a couch-confession. Shashank did undergo several such sessions, and may have instinctively used the technique in his writing, trying to find correlations. I believe he refers to some such thing at the end of Chapter 2. And I am glad you do not see any attempt at being politically correct in Shashank`s writing. He needed to be brutally honest to himself even if it looked like washng dirty linen in public. Like they say, you do not hide anything from your doctor. And I do think he wanted to know the truth about himself.

BTW, did you mean Dev Mehta, or Ved Mehta? Which book?

-- SSS

SSS:

Thanks.

The `couch-confession` is getting better. Lot of new info. for me, and perhaps for a lot of muslims, even from India, as well. This is an area where CHOWK can be of immense value. Hindus, practising & proud hindus, and not apologetic hindus or ``I`m-not-a-bloody-hindu``-type `modern` , secularist, or commie `hindoos`.

For some reason this reminds me of the Razors Edge, Vikram Seth (Phul mela), and Dev Mehta ----all mixed but not stirred.

SSS, your impressions are sketchy but not far-fetched, and The King`s Gambit is regrettable.

Folks, I am grateful to all of you for your comments and feedback.

#9 by Saminasha:

No, I have not yet read either “A Gesture Life” by Chang Rae Lee or Richard Burton’s book on depression. My wife and I, both had read a translation of his translation of the Arabian Nights though, and I hope to follow up on your suggestion.

I suppose the relationship between mental illness and creativity exists even at the semantic level. Both are about crossing boundaries. “Abnormal” behavior is about breaking accepted norms which themselves are transient, so what seems crazy today may be acceptable tomorrow. And creativity is about noticing or interpreting existing concepts and things differently, or giving expression to something entirely new.

IMO the relationship between an artist and craziness can be readily experienced when you see the famous Van Gogh exhibit at Madame Tussaud`s (I saw it in Amsterdam). The old man is furiously at work at his aisle in a dark, dirty and dusty place, and only his eyes are highlighted by a beam of light ostensibly coming from some crack in the ceiling. The creative intensity in those eyes is crazy and frightening. Even before seeing that exhibit and a painting that may have inspired it, I have felt uneasy and disturbed every time I saw a Van Gogh. You can feel the power of his art.

A more recent example is that of Bobby Fischer, the greatest Chess player ever. Reported to have an phenomenal IQ of 180, he lives in exile in Tokyo, has a US warrant pending for his arrest for breaking he USG directive not to play against Spassky in Yugoslavia in 1992, gives anti-Semitic interviews on radio shows, and is assumed by many contemporaries as having gone off his rocker. There is an excellent article about his obviously Bipolar Disorder episodes in the December 2002 issue of “The Atlantic” monthly. He too has suffered from long bouts of manic depression, paranoia, persecution complex lasting years at a time. On the other hand, when he was on his high, he was at his creative best, demolishing the world’s greatest grandmasters with ridiculous ease.


Yildrim #10:

And before you think otherwise, let me state that I am gave the above examples merely to express my agreement with Saminasha’s point about artistic creativity and mental illness. It is not my intent to attribute any specific “greatness” to the author whose writing this thread is about. ;)

Seriously, I do understand your reaction to Shashank’s writing. Many of us in his immediate and extended family as well as friends circle, have gone through similar emotions and reactions ourselves over the years. Many of us still find it hard to understand, much less look at his past without feeling exasperated or angry. Over the years, my own view has changed significantly to the extent that I am no longer critical, only deeply saddened by the waste of a bright mind and the hurt to many affected individuals.

And yes, I have learned by now that Bipolar Disorder is something to be taken seriously. If this publication results in a few more people learning about it in whatever way, something good would have come out of it.

#11 by Studebaker

No, Sir. I am not Prem / Eklavya. And to support the validity of that statement, I’d say that I admire his well thought out postings very much, and wish he would write articles on Chowk himself. (The real Prem / Eklavya would not say anything to praise himself, you would agree.)

#12 by sac

Your point is drastically illustrated but I understand it. However, its relevance to the present case is not entirely clear to me. First of all, I am not sure that untreatable brain ailments such as Bipolar Disorder can be equated either with purely emotional problems which are treatable, or with purely physical problems which may or may not be treatable.

I am familiar with at least three separate cases of Bipolar Disorder patients in India. In its early stages, these Bipolar Disorder patients had the same concerns that you as an ADD patient expressed. I have seen the progression of their efforts to meet those concerns over time. Starting with denial of the existence of the problem, through working extra hard to overcome the problems through bigger and more risky endeavors, they went through aggressively projecting he source of the problems to others i.e. eventually becoming paranoids, to manipulating others to provide what they could not earn for themselves and their dependents, to losing all pretense of dignity and dying destitute. My cousin was lucky in the sense that he had access to medical care and financial support, and did not have to die homeless. But he did suffer many hardships and indignities that too many other patients in India probably suffer due to systemic ignorance and callousness common to a third world country. His natural independent instincts turned out, in a way, to be his enemies.

What I do not know is whether or not my impressions described above are valid, or whether they are farfetched. I hope that those who know more about these illnesses will find time to contribute a few lines.

#13 by FJ: Thank you for these clarifications. Appreciate your input.

#14 by Scout: Appreciate you saying that. As I said previously, I have gone through some of those thoughts and emotions myself, and know the sincerity behind them.

#15 by Akber:

Thank you. All chapters are already with Chowk editors, and they will publish them in due course. Looks like they have published the next installment as we speak.

I’d like to add that when I got the manuscript, it was not titled by the author. I had to name it before sending it to Chowk. I am grateful for the “spotlight” attention they have given to Shashank’s memoirs.

#16 by Banjaara:

I’d love to read the old stories you refer to (``Qalila-wa-Dimnah``). Is there an English version to be found?

#17 by GhalibZaman:

Aapne yaad dilaaya tho humeN yaad aaya...

There is an evergreen Marathi stage play called “Tujhe Aahe Tuj-pashee...” written by the famous PL Deshpande who died a couple of years back.. It is full of laughs, and yet poignant at the end. The title is taken from the first line of a philosophical couplet, which is very close to what you have quoted – You yourself have what you are looking for; only you have been searching in all the wrong places.

#18 by Urstruly:

Looks like Chowk editors have acted on your recommendation. Thanks. BTW, your response can be misread in terms of the quality of “The King’s Gambit”. I know you do not mean it that way, of course. Hopefully, when Chowk will publishes the next installment of that novel, they will also include links to the earlier portions below it, like you suggest here. That will make it easy for all of us to pick up on the narrative so far. I think it happened because the authors themselves are submitting the portions one-by-one.

#19 by Sadna:

I think I should wait to talk about what you say till the rest of the story is published. But I recall you had, in the context of “Yaksha-Prashna”, asked for articles about the challenges of bringing up an inquisitive child in the face of uncontrollable external influences. By coincidence, Shashank’s narrative covers that ground in some way, and contains many psychologically significant events from his childhood. What is more interesting it that although many of us in the same extended family went through the same or similar experiences, the impact on us has not been identical, or even close.

#20 by rozaiba: Thanks for your kind words. I think you will like what follows as well.

This is a very nice tale. It`s hard to write with simplicity. Very nice.

IMO, expiation for a child must come from his parents and elders, a child knows when/what he has done wrong but is often not mature enough to understand what to do to redeem himself in his own eyes.

That may result in childhood guilt being carried over to adulthood which is sad because this guilt resulted from the inadequacy of those adults around him to resolve/settle for him, his own infarctions. Any sense of atonement may not make him free of guilt until he understands this, I am thinking.

You tell me where this thesis fits in wrt karma:).

Dear Chowk Staff

This is great piece of writing; would it be possible to create links to the other parts at the bottom of this part. The other serialized novellete ``The Kings Gambit`` so far has been nothing but a disaster.

banjaara sheb: # 16

Aur phir aap shikayat krtay hain kay BJP zaalim hay. Arrey bhai Panchtantra kay hotay huay yeh kaleela O Damana kee kyaa tuuk hai?

Buss yahee meri guzarish hai, chahay voh angraizee sey ho ya arabi sey. Upnaa putaa bhool kar doosray kay tavussat set upnaa ghar dhoondnaa.

Hurr ajnabee sey poochha , jo putaa thaa upney ghar kaa.

(I asked for my home-address from every passing stranger)

The simplicity and its efectiveness reminds me of the stories in ``Qalila-wa-
Dimnah`` the arab classic of the 9th century.Looking forward to the rest of the story. Thank you SSS.

amazing story,

cant wait to read the rest of it ..

So SSS when ur gonna post the next part .. ??????????

thank you, SSS for sharing this with us. dont` be discouraged by people who start making judgements about the author and you without paying attention to the actual writing style, which is very interesting and as FJ pointed out, a simple directness.

Yildrin, it is in vogue to flaunt it but like Studebaker said true bipolar is painful. It is a genetic illness with long-term effects on the brain coupled with psychological state of mind. Without proper mood stabilizers it can worsen, plus there is no cure for it.

Norman Mailer in the 70s became an apologist for a gifted convicted murderer. He thought the guy had literary talents that justified his release. The `gifted` murderer was released and a couple of hours into his televised interview he recanted his confession. A short while later he killed someone again...................................................

My point is that disregarding someone`s actions affecting other people to focus on their creative endeavours on the basis of some emotional and physical malady is somewhat dumb. I am not interested in someone else
`s bipolar disorder. I have my own Attention deficit disorder to deal with, put food on the table and force myself not to run through red lights on deserted intersections..................................

later
-sac

=== Interact Filtered ===
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Everyone I know in the States has bipolar disorder. Its in vogue to suffer from it. Hell, when I was 17, my university counselor diagnosed me with it. You don`t see me going around pontificating and then simply stating that the reason I should be heard is b/c I suffer. Pain is not an opposition to life. Suffering is a part of it. You dont live in the most stressful time ever. I feel remorse for your loss and sympathy too but I don`t appreciate the expectation that his greatness is somehow associated with his victimization (if you can even call it that). I think that is demeaning to him. I know it would be to me.

Dear SSS,

Many artists could be classified as manic; I wonder what the relationship between mental illness and creativity is...have you read medieval English author Richard Burton`s book on Depression? Its a satirical encyclopaedia in which he posits that to be human is to be ill in some way or another....and authorial license is authorial license, whether its memoir, New Journalism, fiction or essays...

Looking forward to the next installment. Its lovely that you are honoring your relative this way.

Saminasha, Urstruly, Yildrim, Einsteinwallah, and FJ

I grew up with Shashank Lele during a time when people did not lock up their houses, slept out in the courtyard during the hot summer nights, the joint family system was very common, and children passed through neighbor’s houses like little whirlwinds and ate in whichever home they happened to be at supper time. It was fun to be children then. And because of these memories, it is difficult for me to judge Shashank either as a person or as a writer. What all of you have discerned in his writing is probably correct to a significant extent.

Yildrim: I am no professional in these matters, but AFAIK, the most obvious symptoms of Bipolar Disorder are long debilitating episodes of mood swings between one extreme of manic depression involving a tremendous sense of guilt, inadequacy and insecurity, and the other extreme of euphoric restlessness, self-confidence, delusions of grandeur, and arrogance. Each episode leaves an impact on your physical health, and that impact may be aggravated by how the patient was treated medically and otherwise in his time of need. In between those episodes, there may be periods of clarity and tranquility, where the patient may wonder what it was all about. Shashank’ writing is therefore likely to show glimpses of a personality that has been there all across the spectrum.

We live in the most stressful times ever, and I understand this ailment is widespread also in India, although perhaps not as adequately recognized and sympathetically treated as over here in the USA. After all we are a billion plus people, crammed in an area less than a third in size of the United States. Perhaps there are readers who can shed some light on these matters.

To answer Saminasha’s question, I’d say that the writing is primarily autobiographical and honet in intent. But it could have been influenced by his sickness to some extent. I am personally sure about the accuracy of his references to the early childhood event he refer to.

FJ, thank you for your comment on Shashank’s writing. You seem to say that this is directly related to the disease. I thought writing style is a skill that he happened to have, and put it to use to record what was very important to his survival.

EW, I have read SFR, and liked Mashruwalla’s comments. An old Dutch friend of mine put the same question to me when Om Puri’s “Akrosh” was televised in the Netherlands. “Why didn’t he fight?” was the question. My friend believed that the roots lay in the difference between the Christian faith which gives you the freedom to choose and holds you responsible for your actions, and the Hindu faith which tells you that your actions are preordained. He did not seem to think that the theory of Karma implied a certain ability to decide for your own. Anyway, the Greeks also believed in Nemesis and inevitability of destiny, and I know my Muslim friends will instinctively say ‘Inshallah’ in response to a simple “See you tomorrow”. And then there are theories that say that say that religious precepts themselves may have been influenced by geography, and environmental conditions where the religion was founded. But coming back to the present author who was very iconoclastic since his childhood, I wonder. Perhaps the simplest explanation is in term of one’s second identity crisis. Perhaps Devdas also suffered from Bipolar Disorder, which crossed all boundaries, religious, economical and geographic. . I just don’t know.

SSS

The wonderful thing about people with bipolar disorder is the simplicity of their writing. Stripped of embellishments that others need to complete their sketches, the manic depressant prefers to be blunt. Loathing of society and their intense self-pity combine to create such a keen perception that startles the reader.

SSS,

Sorry I misread words ``This article was submitted by SSS``. I thought SSS was another media where this was submitted. Anyways, SSS, welcome to chowk. I am welcoming as a reader. I am not a chowk staff. I will look forward to reading your cousin`s novelette. Psychology is a topic of interest although I am Statistician by education and Programmer by profession. I hope my following comment will be thought as relevant:

Kishorlal Mashroovala who was a Gandhian freedom fighter once wrote an essay entitled ``Khoti Titiksha`` (Suffering of Wrong Kind). Main theme of essay was how western man had always strove to find ways to improve life and remove limitations life imposes on living.

As a comical example he contrasted the story ``Swiss Family Robinson`` with how an Indian author would write a hypothetical novel called ``Indian Family Rao Sen``. In Robinson story family engages in providing themselves with coveniences they enjoyed back home when they become stranded on a deserted island.

On the other hand Indian author would show Rao Sen family subjecting itself to suffering even though they did not step out of their palatial home provided by dozens of servants. Suffering would be glorified and such story would be popular. Devdas is our hero. Suffering is our second religion.

We say it is our Kismet and accept it. And I agree with Mashroovala. Western man faced with debilitating diseases did not accept them as fate but strove to make medicines. May be west still needs East`s values. May be we both need each other.

-ew

Could SS let us know whether this is a memoir and if so, is it more fictive than autobiographical?

What a pitiful life you`ve been dealt. Instead of congratulating you on your acceptance of destiny in a manly manner, I will pityingly glorify you by reading your writing. After all, you are such a victim. You deserve attention.

Great piece of writing -

Writer,

Great to read a mature voice. I`m already drawn in by the mystery and pathos of the narrator`s life. Nice echoes of certain themes repeated by various characters, and dont think the cats and liars/writers lines werent amusing...

Have you read A Gesture Life by Chang Rae Lee? I think I cried for days after reading that novel...same wise narrator`s voice....

Shashank Lele,

You are a good story teller.

In the last line it says that ``This article was submitted by SSS``. Where is SSS? Is it a print media or is it on internet?

Thanks, -ew